Ballet?!” Debbie looked shocked at what I’d told her, but then she seemed to think again. “You know, that might be a good idea. Ballet will help you in the same way it helps football players. It will help you to feel comfortable with your body and improve your grace and coordination.

“Okay, but...ballet?” I asked.

“You wanted to be more feminine. It’s not just pretty clothes and make-up; there is a whole different feel to your body that you need to understand. Ballet can teach you that.”

“Okay , but...ballet?”

Debbie laughed. “What is your problem with ballet?”

Chapter 31

Sometime after 4:00 a.m., I heard a soft tapping at my door. I rolled out of the bed and quietly shuffled across the room and pulled the door open. It was the bar maid who had spoken with me, "How serious were you when you said that you'd help me get the necklace?"

I opened the door and ushered her inside, then looked down both directions of the hall to make sure no one saw her enter. "Do you have an idea on how to get it from him?"

She smiled, "I've already started." I glanced at what she was wearing; the silky sleeping gown was very provocative and sexy. "I've finally agreed to allow him to train me in the finer aspects of my sex, so he's supposed to come to my room in half an hour. You can hide out there and bash him over the head once he enters."

“I have to say, this is quite a different way of dressing for you.” Mom said, very calmly. “So, I take it that this means things have changed?”

“Yeah, it’s time Emily started to live a real life. I have to face it, Mom; I’m never gonna be ‘me’ again.” I found that I didn’t have any tears left to cry. I was kind of numb, now, and it surprised me that I almost didn’t care anymore.

Mom hugged me, and smiled with wet eyes. She just held me for a long time without saying anything.

I giggled as I raised the spinning mower blade all the way up and put it into forward. In front of me the Gardener laid vainly trying to roll out of the way. He wouldn’t make it. Absolutely amazing the poisons found in ordinary household products.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

This chapter describes events after the incident.

Phobia

Ever been scared of something?

Not just a little scared, but turn-white-and-faint, heart-caught-in-your-chest and soil-your-pants scared?

I had something I was that scared of as a kid. Something that made The Monster In The Closet or The Thing Under The Bed minor inconveniences in comparison.

It was a girl.

It was THE GIRL.

Not that SHE looked scary, or creepy, but just the fact SHE existed at all.

Because SHE was inside my head, always after me to let HER out.