CHAPTER 84
Bobby was down at our place two hours before the start time we had suggested, ostensibly to check on the barbie but very clearly as an opportunity to answer a very simple question from Maz as he slumped on our sofa, Ish out in the pool.

“What on Earth was all that about?”

“Snirgeing, Maz”

CHAPTER 82
We had a week to settle in, a process that didn’t leave a lot of free time. We did get some exploring in, though, which included a trip to the Botanic Gardens. Maz had seemed almost ashamed when she had asked what amounted to my permission, and our late-night discussion became quite emotional for some very obvious reasons. We were both a little bleary-eyed when we roused Ish that morning, asking him to pack his raincoat and the little digital camera we had treated him to.

I, me, the one with the rapid-fire gob, it was still hanging open, so I hauled it shut by pure force of will, and sought the right words, hoping to avoid the reflex “Didn’t think you were a queer”. I may be ‘queer’ myself by most people’s definition, but I had to learn about homophobia. I’m as straight as they come, in every double meaning of that word, and the idea of two men together had always been a bit ‘ick’ to my younger self. I know full well how wrong those thought are, so did my best to make it ‘were’, but my hindbrain still kicks in at inappropriate moments.

Breakfast was more than a little awkward, Jules sneaking little glances at me before ducking her head whenever I caught her gaze. I assumed it was a mixture of smugness and shame, like that song about him knowing that she knew that he knew and so on. The two of them had shared some intimate moments, occasionally with most of the county from what I’d heard prior to inserting my little foam plugs, and she knew that I did, indeed, know. In an instant, my traitor mind came up with ‘Not so much kiss and tell as shag and scream’, but I think I managed to hide the smirk, and to be sure, I covered it with words.

Friday morning came the way it usually did, far too late in the week. I managed a bus trip without added audio, and after assembly shepherded a flock of teenagers as they laid out the tables ready for our start at ten thirty.

I was still shaken by the scene with Jules, and the vast depths of her fear. I couldn’t quite see it as she did, because I was someone that fitted the lived reality of trans women rather than the usual fictional stereotype of ‘small, pretty’. I couldn’t feel all of her fear because she was in a place I had never been permitted to enter. No pain, no gain, and as I had never gained, I had avoided at least some of the pain.

Sod that. She had been smiling when she had left my place that evening; just stand by her, ready to catch her if she fell and pray that she wouldn’t.

CHAPTER 80
We had other issues to think about just then, as Ish was navigating the sudden complications of primary school. There had been the usual sequence of birthday parties throughout his time in what I still thought of as ‘infants’ school’, but now he was in what my memories called ‘junior school' things were changing, as boys did their traditional dance of realising that girls were not only different, but actually distasteful which is not exactly the best process for continuing our species. His size and balance were both a little above the average, the latter no doubt helped by his emerging love of climbing, and that meant he avoided the old school horror of being ‘last pick’ for games, and THE local game for Perth was ‘footy’

CHAPTER 78
“Right, darling, these three pictures go together, because they are all wedding pictures. This one is me and your Dad, over on Rotto”

“That’s a golf place, Mum”

“Yes. One of our friends arranged it as a wedding present, and before you ask, not as a game of golf bit as somewhere we could all sit, somewhere nice, Oh, and this picture as well. Recognise it?”

“King’s Park, Mum”

CHAPTER 76
We got a regular flow of letters after that, or perhaps it could be described as an intermittent drip feed. Every now and again, we would pop off a new snap of our boy, and hint about dates, but my mother-in-law never bit, not even to the extent of mentioning me at all, or using anything other than Malay for her correspondence. According to my wife, Mrs R even appeared to be matchmaking a few times, even though her daughter was already married. I began to feel a little unwanted by her.

CHAPTER 74
There was nothing either of us could do for him, of course, being so far away, apart from simply doing our best to be there, wherever and whatever ‘there’ might be, if he needed us. Maz, as ever, spent so much of her energy worrying about others that she had let herself fade, just a bit, and I was slowly beginning to realise what a gamble she had taken in almost literally throwing herself at me.

PART 5
Brian had a little bit of time before his appointment, so stood us another round of tea, or rather I did, as Diesel was clearly in her favourite spot. Once we’d supped up, Marion and I walked out to the van.

“I came up by bus, Jules. Could you shove that stuff in the back, and I shall cadge a lift”

“Home or work?”

“Left the car at work, so no need for a detour. You did well there, love”

PART 3
It was only three days before I got the tasking to walk Diesel again, and this time I ran them out to Owlbeech. I normally avoided there with smaller dogs, but Tara loved it, as there could be a lot of splashy water and a huge space to sprint, which she seemed to do for the sheer hell of it. There was also a lot more dead wood to pick up, drop, chew and so on.

PART ONE
I always avoided the first part of the hill when the weather was likely to produce mud, which meant the whole of January and most of February in practice. It wasn’t the mud on the path itself, for that was why wellies existed, but the immense quantity my dogs would collect. They’re not exactly my dogs, of course, so mud meant cleaning them off before returning them to their ‘real’ owners, and I rather liked having some ‘me time’ each day and enough hot water for a bath for myself rather than two or three mud-magnet hounds.

CHAPTER 70
Murdo had been incredibly generous, but he remained a very sharp businessman, and springing for accommodation as well as the venue would have cost rather a lot, so we were booked on a late afternoon boat back. Rod had arranged a small coach, and Phil a few taxis for those we couldn’t fit in. Tradition had to be observed, and so we bounced back over the water before trundling up to King’s Park, where Kul did his video thing and Neil the snaps.

MADDY
I realised he might not immediately get the point, so asked again, before he could answer.

“Do you want to get used to it, Mr Strachan?”

He actually laughed, and I could see his grin in my imagination, shining out of his helmet,

Stop it! Bad mind!

Neil’s next words set me laughing with him.

“What is it you say, Maddy? The answer is ‘Oh my yes!’, of course”

MADDY
I settled back against him as we continued down the lane to our digs, his buttock flexing against my hand, his own hand on my hip, and I was feeling almost blissed out. Sod what they had said at school, sod what had been written in the Register when I was born, this, the here and now, or there and then: it was right, fitting, proper. And I had the right dress with me, and shoes to go with it, because my own paranoia had been so worried there’d be a dress code for the dining room.

NEIL
I couldn’t really sleep that night, my nerves all over the place. What if I got another stiffy while talking to her, for example? I woke again at about four, and realised I wasn’t going to drop off again. I rolled over in bed to light up my computer, and yes, there was a room in Durham. Before I could chicken out, I booked it. I doubted that the B and B would complain, as they would keep my money for the extra nights, and kept the space to fit in another guest.

NEIL
My school days were long past, but they still rode me hard, revisiting when I least expected them, or perhaps when I was least able to handle the memories. I was deep in a sump well below Castleton when something triggered my memories and switched on the classic fear/flight responses. It took me several minutes to put them back behind their wall, as I lay in the cold and dark, seeing and hearing the other boys as they threw whatever they had learned from their parents at me. Thank god I was always so much bigger than they were at all ages. Sticks and stones would never break my bones, but what I understood of their words still bloody hurt.

CHAPTER 67
Life took a turn for the bloody busy after that evening. We were both working full time, of course, and there were our combination recreation and social sessions at music nights and at the climbing wall, but there was so much else to deal with. Australia has a very relaxed approach to marriage, in its own way, barring a few slightly irksome formalities. We could indeed marry just about anywhere, but that choice had been sneakily covered by Murdo. We could always say no, of course, but given what he was offering to us a refusal would have been more than rude.

CHAPTER 65
My mouth was sticky the next morning, my head still fuzzy. I could still remember most of it though, as the pictures were shown, more wine poured and a messy bout of tears was resolved in the old, old way. Maz looked up at me, bleary-eyed, and lifted a sheet to her nose with a wince.

“Which of us spilled the red on the dooner?”

“No idea. Won’t need a dry clean for a while. Stain’s there to stay, I think. I’ll stick the kettle on, and then we can strip the bed”

Her smile up at me was a little fragile, but she nodded.

“Good job we’re both off today”

CHAPTER 64
The double garage had been a sound choice. When we had narrowed our search to a couple of properties, that had been the clincher. Our estate agent (neither of us believed in imaginary estates) had been full of humour, repeating a phrase I had heard more than once before.

When the original houses were built, he said, you’d sometimes see your next door neighbour. As time went on, that compressed to hearing them, and with the current developments, where there was what seemed like six feet or so between your own eavesdrop and next door’s guttering, you could just about smell those across the property line.

CHAPTER 63
There was a place to leave the bike at Soapy Joe’s, just behind Kul’s car. I did the multiple lock thing, and slipped into the back seat behind Maz.

“No butts today, mate, even if they are cool. Did you mail head office?”

“Not yet. Wanted to make sure we can tie this one down before potentially looking stupid. Talk me through it again, please”

CHAPTER 61
Things did settle down after that fortnight’s busyness, for the simple reason that even the best management magicians can’t come up with a new and revolutionary idea every day. We almost gave up on the sausages idea, for example, because there was no feasible way to fly out a sample pack to the east coast, and by definition anyone renting a van in Perth was likely to be heading over that way, so wouldn’t exactly be in the area for a repeat purchase.

Instead, Chad had a word with Rhona, who was definitely SWMBO in that business, and breakfast packs for their camping sessions started being ordered from a former miner. And Maz bought a helmet.