CHAPTER 50
I didn’t know what to do. Steph’n’Geoff were such a part of my life, and Steph so utterly right in herself, in her femininity, that I found it hard to imagine, to recognise, that she had ever been any other way. I could remember Alys, of course, before she was ever visible; when my mind whispered “Before there was an Alys”, it immediately gave itself the answer “There always was an Alys, just hidden”, and I wondered what Steph had shown the world before she shook herself free of it.

CHAPTER 48
We were back to the grind of our studies after that, of course, and I found it a particular variety of ‘interesting’ the way my attitude to them was changing. In climbing guides, ‘interesting’ is often a euphemism for ‘terrifying’, but this was the more commonly understood meaning.

CHAPTER 46
University life was so very different from school. It looked, on the surface, as if we had much less work to do, lessons being fewer, free time seeming to be endless, but it wasn’t at all that way. There was so much background reading to do, for starters, and then we weren’t being handed the answers for later parroting. Our lecturers actually expected us to go out and bloody RESEARCH things, the sods.

CHAPTER 44
The rest of the week found its pattern, each day book-ended by a ride with Mam, and punctuated with a shared lunch. I am sure I was just as vocal as Alys was, about the way my course was going, but so much of what she described sailed right past me. At least with my stuff, it was rooted in daily life, at least the sort of daily life lived by someone who lived in the middle of mountains sprinkled with lakes.

CHAPTER 42
We moved on the next day, and had three days of progressing from castle to castle. Vic too his snaps, Nansi dispensed nuggets of history, and we ate all sorts of interesting meals. It should have been boring and repetitive, but it was far from that, and not just because of the company I was in.

Some of the historical stuff was amusing, much of it surprising, and every now and again, Nansi came out with something that deeply shocked me. There is a world of difference between hearing of Carcassonne’s flying pig and being told of how ‘Crusaders’, full of Christian charity, had herded 200 people out of Montségur castle and burned them all alive.

CHAPTER 40
We finally arrived in what was clearly the Deep South, at least of France, and I must have muttered something along those lines as Nansi Edwards immediately corrected me. She did it nicely, she did it with a smile, but it was clearly a very polite slap down.

“Politics, Enfys, and religion. You don’t need to know the details, but this was a different country back then. Paris-based France it wasn’t; different language, different culture. Once they had an excuse to come down from the North, well, lots of castle building, lots of land and property to be redistributed. Local language made illegal. Sound familiar?”

CHAPTER 38
I sat for a while, mulling over her revelation, and in the end decided to leave it for a private moment; there was clearly so much hiding behind her words that it would have been unfair to put her on the spot in public. We ate our rice and stuff, piling up prawn shells (is that the word?), and drank far too much, as was traditional for Brits in Tenerife.

It was more than that, I realised, as I looked around the group and saw how many were staring at their plates or glasses, or simply into space, and after a while, I recognised the mood.

Guilt.

CHAPTER 36
A tern creak-calling above us, we made our way slowly back to shore, a little warmer in the shallower water, and while Warren walked straight out of the waves, Alys and I had to do the wriggling dance to get our fins off before we could follow. Sali called over to us as we approached the group.

“Saw you coming! Got cold ones for you—no, don’t look like that! Not beers, cokes. See anything?”

CHAPTER 34
It was the first time I had ever flown, and all too obviously the first time I had experienced the other joys of an airport, especially the other passengers. I know that my home is in a prime tourist area, but this was something completely different. Our flight left mid morning, so Mrs Edwards drove us across country well before dawn, leaving us with a hug after ensuring we were properly checked-in and queuing for the security controls, and also leaving us with a collection of people who seemed to have abandoned all taste, if they had ever owned any in the first place.

CHAPTER 32
We fed everyone, at least those who wanted feeding, and then it was time for a weather check. It had rained in the night, so a lot of the crags were moist enough to put the serious climbers off, but Dad had already sorted out a fallback plan.

CHAPTER 30
Mr Edwards was the one who picked us up from the station, with a forceful hug for both of us together and then each in turn, and an even more forceful reminder that we had less than a week before the start of the new school year.

“Going to need to split up, girls. The last thing any of us needs is for the gossip mill to get started”

Alys squeezed my arm, then put a finger to my lips as I started to speak.

“I know what Enfys wants to say, Dad, and it will be stuff about not being ashamed, all that”

CHAPTER 29
It was the start of a wonderful month, made even better by the simple fact that there was no way at all that Mr and Mrs Edwards would be heading off castle-snapping. I was starting to see them as being as much a part of my family as my own parents, and being together was a blessing. I could never discount the reason, never forget it, but as she healed physically, my lover seemed to be finding her own spark again. We had a treat ahead, of course, at the end of August, but it was the weeks at home that I loved.

CHAPTER 27
I had bent over the bed as she started to tremble, half-formed words gradually increasing in volume, and when she realised it was me, she crashed awake, pulling my arms about her.

“Shush, love. Let me move, just a second, okay?”

CHAPTER 25
Hollis led the conversation, interrogation, interview, Baillie making notes in an A4 book rather than the little notebook I expected. The woman was quietly spoken, but very clear in her questions.

“You were found in a disused blast shelter in the Dinorwic quarries, Alys. You were last heard of near the Penrhyn quarries, the other side of the hill. Can you tell us how you got there? From the beginning, please. Take your time, but it would help us if you could explain why you were there in the first place. DC Baillie here is what we call a statement taker, as am I. We will not put words in your mouth, but rather do our best to help you be clear in what you say. Is that acceptable?”

CHAPTER 23
Thank god it wasn’t term time, because I would never have been able to face the rest of them. I stayed with the Edwards for a few days, Mam and Dad having livings to earn. I felt guilty leaving Dad with the bunkhouse, but each time I tried to do the loyal thing and pull my weight, I was swamped by memories of Alys working beside me.

I tried, but the second time Dad caught me in tears, I was packed off back to the Edwards house. I suppose it was a clear mark of how much my parents loved me, leaving me to huddle in her bed, her sheets, the memories of my lover surrounding me.

Three days… four… I was huddled in her bed, my default comfort zone, when Nansi Edwards pulled the door open.

CHAPTER 21
It was the start of a much harder year, as we buckled down for the first stage of exams that could have a permanent impact on our ambitions. No O-levels would mean no A-levels; no A-levels would most definitely mean no university, no degree, no opportunities, or at least massively reduced ones. It meant that we had to reduce our social activities, with the added nastiness stemming from the perverse stance of Alys’ shrinks at the gender place.

What was he asking? Really?

“What was that other news, Pablo?”

“Not for now, Caroline. It is something I must think about. A decision to make. Now, if you decide to come with us, I cannot offer an airplane ticket. My government is paying for Rita and myself, as well as a room in the Holiday Inn Express”

I snorted at that one.

“Not The Rock Hotel, then?”

I woke early once again, nervous about Pablo’s mood in the most peculiar way imaginable. I found myself worrying that some odd mental link might have led him to suspect what I had been up to in the night, but then again, he might just have heard the creaking and done some simple addition. I took a few minutes to finish loading tents and other hardware into the car, and then started the kettle going.

In the event, it was Rita who was first down, and I was oddly comforted by the way she seemed to know where everything was, and to be utterly relaxed about preparing her own breakfast.

He sat down on the sofa, waving an arm for me to join him, but keeping a judicious distance between us.

“Please, Caroline. A little talk, I think”

As I sat, I watched him turn his gaze away, towards my stack of DVDs.

“So much. Such short time. My head, it is spinning, I think is the English wording. What is your thought about Rita?”

“She is wonderful, Pablo. You should be proud of her”

He sighed.

The girls were cooing over me when I went back to work, particularly over my tan, or rather the remnants of pink skin where my nose had peeled.

“How far down does the tan go, Caroline?”

“As far as my swimming cossie”

“Ooh! No topless beach, then?”

Pablo stared at me for a few seconds, before looking into the main body of the hotel, then turned back to me.

“You cannot do this”

“I can, and I have already paid the man at the desk, and it was less than I would have paid your friend with the taxi. The car taxi, not the twat with the horse”

“Twat?”

He was clearly puzzled, and I found my cheeks burning.

“A rude word in English”

“You not on a working day, then?”

I shook my head.

“Nope. Actually flying with your lot, this time”

“Where are you off to, then?”

“Cuba”

“Ooh! Packed your dancing shoes?”

“I don’t dance. Packed my snorkel and flippers, though”

CHAPTER 5
Dinger was absolutely right in his guess. Two days after their arrival, as they were just starting to make their huts their own places rather than a temporary shelter, the Germans split the morning Appel. The same jackboots-and-peaked cap officer was on his platform with the interpreter, but this time they were accompanied by a small group of men in civilian jackets and baggy trousers. Bell’s whisper was just loud enough for Jim to catch.

CHAPTER 19
The rest of our time at Shrewsbury went along the same path, with some decent music, a lot of dancing and some steadily more intense practice sessions. Mark’s grandfather, Mr Kerr, had turned up on schedule, which meant a lot of hugs and kisses from most of what was now our group, plus some initial confusion on my part when he made some noises with his lips and tongue that I assumed were meant to convey some sort of message, at which point Steph simply slapped his arm.