CHAPTER 35
I watched his gaze, and it followed Elen’s in its intense focus on how tightly the material of the waiters’ trousers stretched across the bums beneath. Oh, indeed. I felt more than a little out of place just then, as I was only just learning how to ‘lesbian’ properly, and that left very little room for adapting to having a gay male around.

Arsebollocks, as Annie and Steph would say. I poured myself another glass of the fruity alcohol. Eat, drink, smile and worry about group dynamics in the morning. That thought made me giggle, as my priority in the morning would be to grab the bathroom first before finding out what the water was like in the sea. I started to make a mental list of what I would need to carry down to the beach, just as our paella orders arrived, and it was a few minutes into eating before I realised how tipsy I was getting on the sneaky sangria. Our group was getting a little raucous, as were most of the other people around us, so I switched to soft drinks before leaning over to whisper in my lover’s ear.

“Seen where Warren’s eyes are, love?”

“What? Oh… Oh!”

Alys watched him for a minute or two before whispering back, “Talk later, love”

We ended up almost staggering back to the apartment, where our promised sofa bed was waiting. Both Susans had migrated to the boys’ apartment on the way back from the meal, while Colin had moved in with Sali. I could hardly object, as Alys and I would be snuggled together in one bed, so why not the other couples? We all said goodnight, one or two couples in rather a rushed way, and even before I could settle down in our new bed/sofa, the sound of close interpersonal relationships being confirmed was all too apparent from the other rooms.

I slipped down under the single sheet we were using as a top cover, and settled into her arms, resting my head on her shoulder.

“Not wasting time, are they?”

Alys was silent for a long moment, before tightening her embrace.

“Well, why should they? Not like me, are they?”

I understood instantly that it would be better to stay silent, just that once, and let her speak, so I simply squeezed her in return.

“It’s hard, Enfys. We’ve been… I was never sure, never knew…”

She drew in a long, sighing breath.

“I have always known who I am. Never worked out who I wanted, though, not till later. No headspace, I suppose”

I risked a soft “Bit understandable, love”

“Yes. It was easier once I, you know, once Mam understood, and I could let him go, and then I realised where I was looking, and… and you looked back at me”

“Like I said, love. Not fond of willies, am I?”

“Yes, and that’s the problem, isn’t it? Still there, and all I want to do is to do what the other girls are, just with you, and I can’t, can I?”

My heart was pounding.

“Neither of us wants to do what the other girls are doing, love”

“You know what I mean!”

“I do, and…”

I turned my head to kiss her, and moved my hand to where there was a hint of a breast, and she kissed me back, and moved her own hand, and neither of us was first to the bathroom in the morning.

The sun was intense that day, and our breakfast was a late one, as the various couples and singletons settled round another array of tables for a ‘continental breakfast’ of bread, cheese and cold meats, knowing glances and smirks interspersed with occasional laughter. Alys and I had both settled for a T-shirt and sarong over our swimming costumes, together with a sun hat, and as we ate and drank, I noticed a couple of pointed looks at us from Nea and Elen. I took a toilet break, cursing the faff of getting out of a one-piece suit to be able to do the necessary, and as I emerged from the cubicle, Sali was at the sink beside me.

“We heard you last night, you know”

My blush felt nuclear.

“Sorry!”

“Don’t be silly. We were just as bad. It’s just… Enfys, we know, well, we don’t need to know what you do, how, but I just wanted to say, well. Your first time, wasn’t it? The two of you?”

I had no other option than a sharp nod. An arm around my shoulders, a hug, and a whispered “Good. Got your back, girl, got both of them”

She sat up straighter, her voice still soft.

“Got another question as well, not about you two, though. About you. What was up in the paella place? You went all quiet”

“Did I?”

“Oh yes. You were watching Elen a lot”

I drew in a deep breath of my own before replying.

“I was actually watching Warren”

Her brow furrowed.

“Why him?”

“Um, Elen was perving over the waiters. He was watching the same ones”

“Oh, er… Oh! You thought he was perving as well?”

She started to giggle, holding up a hand for me to wait until she could talk properly once again.

“No! You think he’s, you know, on your side of things? No!”

Another wave of hilarity, before she pulled herself back to near-sobriety.

“Sometimes, Enfys, sometimes I wonder about you. So tied up in Alys, and… No. Unfair. Life’s so busy for you, easy to see you get a bit out of the loop. Warren is not gay”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. He’s stuck on Elen, actually. If he was watching waiters, it wasn’t cause he fancied them. I suspect it was--- look, was he staring at the same ones she was?”

I replayed my memories of the previous night. Waiter passes table; Elen’s gaze latches onto his rump; Warren’s focus follows hers.

“Yes, thinking about it. Yes”

“Not perving, woman: he was asking ‘What’s that man got that I haven’t?’, and coming up short”

She gave me a sigh of her own.

“We knew it might be a worry, you know, but there’s loads of Brits here on holiday, and we are hoping that he might spot someone else if we can just get his eyes away from our girl and onto the wider world around us. Anyway, beach time. Got your sunblock? Warren might need someone to rub his in for him”

She was off before my mock slap could land, and shortly thereafter, we were at the beach in question. Alys had rattled on about volcanic sand and how rocky the coastline was to the West, but after we had passed a cliché ‘golden sands’ beach nestled between two piers, we came to a much wider, if scruffier, stretch of rather greyer sand. Towels were laid out, outer clothing dumped, and both Sues were screaming as two lads grabbed them and ran straight into the sea. So far, all as I had expected. Sali lay down on her front, Colin opening a bottle of suntan lotion, and after their promise to guard our little camp, including a large bag Alys had carried with her, the rest of us went down to the water’s edge, where moderately-sized waves sent ripples flowing over our feet.

It certainly wasn’t warm bath temperature, but it was one hell of a lot warmer than I had ever experienced at Trearddur. University would include water sports… I walked out into the sea until it was just at waist depth, pulled on my goggles, then dove into an oncoming wave, and that was all I needed to finally relax.

The water was reasonably clear, despite the waves, and there were more than a few fish flitting about. A touch to my shoulder, and I surfaced to find a grinning girlfriend, her own goggles in place and water streaming from her hair.

“Yay! This is SO good, love! And there’s more!”

“More what?”

“I wanted to see how warm the water was, as well as how good my research. Got something for you on the beach”

I pulled her to me for a kiss.

“Got something for you right here!”

She kissed me back, then broke away.

“Later! Come and get your present!”

I chased her out of the water, laughing in joy, and grinned happily when her present turned out to be two sets of kit from a chain of sports stores, each holding a mask, a snorkel and a pair of flippers. As perfect a gift as I could imagine, apart from her presence. Warren was sat on his towel watching, and as I tried on the mask, he asked Alys a simple question.

“Can I borrow your goggles while you’re using those?”

Alys tossed her set across to him with a smile.

“Been doing some research, you two”

I found myself laughing, and turned it into a grin for Warren.

“When she says ‘some’, she means she left zero unturned stones! What did you get?”

Alys shrugged.

“Had a look for snorkelling sites. Tis one is supposed to be a good one, especially further out towards the end of the breakwater. Internet says there’s bigger stuff out there, and up the coast there’s a place with turtles”

She paused, then grinned.

“Yes, I did find the bus numbers to get up there!”

Warren looked at me in what was almost shock, or maybe awe.

“She always like this?”

I shrugged.

“Yes, basically. Want to swim out with us?”

I flapped deeper into the water.

“Yeah, why not?”

His gaze flicked back to the other girls, stretching out on their towels or reed mats, then came back to us, with a shrug.

“Yeah, why not indeed?”

We took our time getting there, as one of us had to swim with their head out of water and without the benefit of fins, but get there we did, and the water was clearing as we swam. Warren impressed me with his strength, and once we were treading water around the end of the breakwater, he appeared to be relaxing. Perhaps it was due to his greater distance from his crush, but he definitely seemed to be smiling more than he had been at the beach. I made a deliberate point of taking my girl’s hand in my own, just in case he harboured some rather odd hope, but he really did look as if he was enjoying himself at last. He shook the water from his hair, and grinned at Alys.

“No sharks to worry about?”

She shrugged.

“Not really, but there are stingrays and octopuses”

He looked a little worried, but she was shaking her head.

“Neither of them is a worry, Warren. I think there’s an octopus underneath us, but he’s probably no bigger than your fist”

“How do you know?”

“Mass of shell fragments around the base of the breakwater. He’ll be in a hole in the stones. Want to see if we can spot him?”

If I hadn’t loved her already, I certainly did afterwards. She led as we dove down to the place she had spotted, the water temperature decreasing markedly, and there he was, one eye looking at us as his siphon pulsed. We surfaced, Warren laughing with delight, and then cruised the entrance to the bay, finding three rays and a number of other big fish that I couldn’t identify. I was oddly satisfied when Alys confessed that she was equally at a loss.

Finally, we started to feel a little chill seeping into us from that deeper water, so we set off back towards the others, Alys finning along on her back so that she could chat with the boy. I was surprised at that, finding that she was far more comfortable in the water than me, which felt wrong. After all, wasn’t I supposed to be the active, outdoors woman? I remembered the prospectus for my course, and its mentions of ‘water-based activities’, which made me smile. I looked across at the other two just then, smiling and laughing together, and another course topic rose up in my memory: mental health and outdoor activity.

Alys had fought back so well, after her kidnap, but it was Warren I was watching. Away from the others, he was far more natural in his manner, as he didn’t need to play up for Elen’s benefit. Sod it.

“Warren?”

“Enfys?”

“Alys and me, we have a plan. Mountain walk, cable car down. You up for that?”

“What do you mean by a mountain walk?”

“Big volcano, dead one, in the middle of the island. There’s a cable car most of the way up. We were planning a walk up, ride down, let the others just do the ride. Bit of a hike, but a hell of an achievement if you can manage. Alys says it’s about three Wyddfas. What do you think?”

He swam in silence for a few moments, dipping his head under the water every so often, perhaps to see what was swimming beneath, maybe to avoid answering too quickly.

“Elen won’t be walking, will she”

Alys answered ‘Probably not” for the two of us, and once more, he paused before answering. When he did reply, he sounded resigned, or perhaps fatalistic.

“I never stood a chance with her, did I?”

Before either of us could reply, he did his best, while swimming, to shrug.

“Well, other things to do, I suppose. Thanks for this. I’ve got boots with me: when are we doing this mountain, then?”