CHAPTER 9
That was the pattern of my life. Despite Nea’s oblique hints about solitary night-time activities, I had no real grasp of what being a lover might involve. I just knew that Alys was the focus of my life, and I believed, or, in the small hours of the night (sorry, Nea) hoped, that she felt the same for me.

I didn’t imagine her undressed, I didn’t have fantasies about doing things that I didn’t quite understand, I didn’t even dream of snogging her half to death. My dreams were of smiles, snuggling together, holding hands, sharing whatever we did, and above all, being in each other’s eyes. It wasn’t even as hot as one of those Mills and Boon romances, for there were no burning eyes, no swooning, no bodices, neither ripped nor intact.

I just knew that she filled places in my soul that I had yet to understand fully. I loved her; that was all.

We worked our way through the rest of the term, the plans for the next school year set in stone, and as the days lengthened, I worked with my parents most evenings to make sure that the bunkhouse was in as fit a state as we could manage before the onslaught of Summer holidaymakers hit us. That sounds like some sort of sweatshop child abuse, but it was simply a time when we pulled together as a family. Mam and Dad worked when others didn’t, and relaxed when they could, but I was still tied to the school year. As we settled into the last fortnight of the school year, Mam surprised me.

“Nansi Edwards has an offer for you, love”

“Sorry?”

“They’re having a summer break. Can’t go abroad, though”

“Why not? Oh”

“Yes. Alys can’t get a passport, or she could, but, well, you know. They are going camping, touring in the Scottish Borders”

She snorted a laugh.

“Vic wants to go castle-spotting, as he always does, and I suspect Alys has been dropping hints”

“About me?”

Mam gave me a searching look, then smiled.

“No, not about that. Birds! Anyway, the Edwards have agreed to add a little surprise to the trip. Just for you. What do you think?”

“Camping?”

“They have a family tent. You’d need mat and bag. Oh, and your boots and harness”

“Why?”

“The little surprise, love. Saying no more. You up for this?”

“Oh yeah, but what about the bunkhouse?”

“We’ll cope. But the harp stays here, okay?”

I didn’t argue with any conviction, and I was in a daze for the rest of the week, but it didn’t stop me making list after list of what I would need on the trip. Where would we be eating? Would I need posh clothes? How bad would the midges be? Before I knew it, though, I was standing outside the house with a packed rucksack, a sleeping bag and a holdall, plus several carrier bags of food Mam had prepared for us. It was raining, of course, as we turned our backs on the hills and headed for the A55 along the coast. We ended up on a really flat and marshy-looking piece of land before we skirted Cheshire, as the rain lifted, and to my surprise, we didn’t turn north but stayed heading east.

We stopped for a break somewhere after we had crossed the M6, and I was still none the wiser about our immediate destination. Alys was smirking, her grin growing wider with each mile, so of course I had no option but to tickle her, which was made awkward by the fact that she had held my hand in hers most of the way from Bethesda.

Eventually, we came out on a long road, pretty straight, but running quite sharply uphill. There were two small hills sticking into low cloud, but what caught my eye was a mass of really odd rock formations to the left of the road. We turned onto a side road, and Mr Edwards called back over his shoulder to us.

“Ramshaw Rocks, girls. Not far to our first campsite. What do you think of it so far?”

I was astonished at some of the shapes.

“What rock is it?”

“Millstone grit. Remember your geography lessons? This is the western edge of the old cap. Faces to the East. Over by Sheffield, it faces to the West. Do they teach you nothing at that school?”

Not for the first time, I could see where Alys had got her sense of humour. We continued up the back road until we arrived at a farm campsite, and the harder work began. For Alys and myself, that was initially limited to holding poles or pulling on ropes, but eventually the tent was up and the work of laying out bedding, setting up tables, filling the water carrier and, most importantly, gathering milk from the little shop was complete. There were patches of blue sky towards the West, the low grey ceiling starting to life, and as we settled into camp chairs with a cuppa and some of Mam’s biscuits, Mrs Edwards was waving that the surrounding grassy moors.

“Haven’t been here for ages, but you need to keep an eye open for special wildlife”

Alys perked up at that one.

“What sort, Mam?”

“Kangaroos”

“Maaaam!”

Her father shook his head.

“No, Alys, she’s serious. Special place around here. Highest village in the UK is a few miles up there, and there’s feral wallabies living here. Bit to the West, and you’ve got the place those books you like were written”

“What? The Andre Norton ones?”

Nansi Edwards chuckled.

“No, love! The Alan Garner ones. Weirdstone? Moon of Gomrath?”

“Oh! How far?”

“Bit off our route, but we may… Right, here’s the plan. These couple of days are a surprise for Enfys. Once we’re done, we’ll be heading back for the Motorway up North, then ticking some dad-boxes by following the Roman Wall to Northumberland, where we have a few places to stop. If you ask really, really nicely, and agree to do all the dishes every day, we might drop by Cadellin’s place for you”

Alys frowned.

“ALL the dishes? EVERY day?”

“Not a problem. It’s why we brought your friend with us. Our holiday, not yours, girl”

It turned out that Nansi Edwards squeals loudly when tickled. I had to join in, and once we had caught our breath, Vic Edwards started talking about food.

“Pub down the road a bit, if you want something decent that Alys hasn’t cooked, though that’s the same thing, really”

“Daaaaad!”

“That’s who I am, yes”

My friend grunted in mock annoyance, but in the end, the pub was where we ate, a lovely old stone-built place called The Old Rock, although that name may had extra ‘Ye’ and ‘-e’ bits. The food was good, and the cloud continued to lift. I was amused to see that Mr Edwards had brought a number of resealable plastic jug/bottle things, and just before we left, he had them all filled at the bar.

It did seem a rather large quantity of beer for the two of them, but when we arrived back on site, it became clear. There was a very familiar van parked there, and two even more familiar people sitting outside our tent. It seemed my birthday treats hadn’t ended. There was a round of hugs and greetings, and then Steph asked the important question.

“Did you get the ale, Vic?”

We sat and gossiped well after sunset, the details of the holiday taking on flesh as the ale was appreciated, and it was even better than I had realised. Apparently, the two hills I had seen disappearing into cloud were famous climbing areas, and three of us would be spending a couple of days on one called The Roaches so that I could see how I liked gritstone. The other three would spend the time walking the moorlands, probably trying to spot wallabies, before The Woodruffs headed home and our party went by way of a place called Alderley to Carlisle. We would then drive some of the Roman Wall, camp in the valley, visit a nearby castle, see more of the Wall, castles, coastline, beaches---and a boat trip for seals and birds. It sounded amazing, far more so than the initial description of touring the Scottish Borders to see some old buildings, and I asked myself how long our parents had been planning all of it, and when they had involved the Woodruffs, and on and on in my mind questions tumbled over each other.

What was clear, as clear as Mam’s declaration of love-by-action to my father had been, was how much the two of them loved me. This wasn’t in response to a pivotal birthday, no coming of age gift, as I was still, in reality, a child. Rather, it recognised me as a person, and I could see the logic: let her see what is out there, in terms of her interests. Let her see if she is really committed to the outdoors. Let her have options while still young enough to change them.

How on Earth had they gained such wisdom?

That night, Alys and I lay in our bags in one of the sleeping sections of the tent, and I don’t know who made the move, but I ended up snuggled against her, my head on her chest and one of her arms around me, and my world was at greater peace than it had ever been. I wanted to say so much, but in the end, I settled for less frightening subjects.

“What are these books your Mam was talking about?”

“Oh, a couple of books about a brother and sister. Wizards, goblins, that sort of stuff. Second one’s a bit scary in places. Wizard, in a secret cave in the rocks, with King Arthur and his knights asleep there”

“I thought they were sleeping in a cave halfway up Lliwedd?”

“Try taking a horse five hundred feet up a cliff, girl! Anyway, there are a lot of places---there are maps in the books, ah? Mam says we can spend a bit of time looking at them. Remember Mister Lisle, from junior school? Used to read us a chapter every day for English?”

“Oh! I’d forgotten about that! Same book?”

“That’s the one. I found them on the net a year ago, got them on my Kindle”

“I can just about remember them now. What was the other one, the Norton or whatever?”

She shuffled a bit in her bag, pulling her shoulder free so that we were lying on our sides, face to face, and then she simply kissed me, and everything went away for a little while apart from the gleam of her eyes.

She pulled back again, and I could see the shadows in her face move as she smiled.

“Wanted to do that for ages, Enfys, but… no more just now, ah? I promised Mam… Anyway, done it, at last. The other books…”

She reached out to stroke my cheek, tucking strands of hair behind my ear.

“Couple of books by an American woman, lots of them with animals in. Andre Norton. I got hooked on one about a man with a dappled pony with a lovely name”

I laughed as softly as I could manage.

“Girls and ponies?”

Once more, I caught the smile.

“Maybe. The name was ‘rain on Dust’, to describe a dapple grey. I thought it was perfect. And the main character had meerkats as friends, so definitely a winner with me. I read the Beast Master, and then I found another couple by her”

“Hang on; isn’t Andre a man’s name?”

“Yes indeed. She was writing science fiction at a time when women---fifties, nineteen sixties? Women often pretended to be men. I like another writer, a bit newer, called herself James Tiptree. Bit of a meaning in there; tell you the punchline later”

“There’s more. The other books?”

“Yeah. Set on a planet called Janus. It’s actually really heavy stuff, and it was in the children’s section at the library when I saw it”

“What do you mean by it being heavy stuff?”

She drew a slow breath.

“You know, I missed that bit when I first read it? Not till I went back a couple of years later. The hero… The hero kills his own mother”

I was lost for words, but she filled the space.

“Not how that sounds. She’s terminally ill, so he buys her an overdose of a real happy dreams drug, so that she… He knows it will kill her, but that’s better than watching her die in pain. Gets the money by sort of selling himself into slavery”

“That’s a kids’ book? Really?”

“That’s where they had it racked, Enfys. It’s the rest that’s the attractive bit. Quick summary: alien planet, disappeared native race, special jewels hidden by them. Find one, and you turn into a sort of elf. Matched my dreams, that did. Find the magic key, or token, or spell, and be able to turn into me, everything fixed in an instant. See the attraction?”

“Oh yes! You said there’s a punchline, though”

She kissed me again.

“Turn round so I can spoon”

I rolled over, as wrapped me up once more in her arms, her whisper in my ear.

“Norton was called Norton, Tiptree was really Sheldon. Both of them were called Alice. Night, love”