CHAPTER 72
What other answer could I give, stunned as I was? I simply nodded, before saying “If you know me, my love, you know my answer. Right now, if you look at your clock, I need to sleep”

She sounded disappointed.

“Oh…”

“It’s yes, of course. What answer did you expect?”

Her face seemed to burst into light, the joy was so evident, and all I could manage was laughter, so of course that joy in her vanished. I waved both my hands at the camera.

“No! Not a joke! I just meant that, well, seriously… how well do we know each other, and don’t answer that, and I am waffling, but, well. Yes. I love you. I can’t imagine loving anyone else. Who would I be without you? HOW would I be, how COULD I be?”

She was weeping, and I took a few seconds to try and find better words.

“Alys my love, we are both, we… A few seconds. Look… I am not trying to find ways of saying ‘no’, because there is no way I could ever feel that way. I just think… Who can we ask? Advice, ah? How do we take this and make it official?”

The picture wobbled a bit, and I realised she was reaching for something, which turned out to be a box of tissues. After she had wiped her eyes, her smile surfaced once again.

“I was pretty sure I knew what your answer would be, love”

“Only pretty sure?”

“Tease! Please… you know how frightened I get. How unsure?”

I nodded; so much easier doing things like this on a video Call than by phone.

“I know very well love. Remember I promised never to drop you, never to let you break, and when you get like that, always remember that I love you, and always will. Something’s brought this on. I don’t mean the proposal, cause that’s the best thing I’ve had in, well… Not going to say”

The best thing since Neil found her alive would have been my words, but not then.

She looked down at her hands, then back up.

“Mam got a letter”

My hackles were rising, the fear always there for her.

“From the Courts and Tribunals people, Going to share my screen with you, hang on. I asked her to open it, and send me a scan… right, pics… share window… There”

It took me a few seconds to process the image, but I finally made sense of it.

“You didn’t tell me!”

“Mam was doing most of the work, keeping loads of records. We sent the application on just before I flew out. Didn’t want to worry you in case it got rejected”

“What if they had chucked it out?”

“Mam and Dad would have gone through it and made another attempt. Thing is, we got it right first go. I am now officially female, not just claiming I am. That, my love, is an actual Gender Recognition Certificate”

“Don’t you need it out there with you?”

She was grinning now, as the triumph overtook the fear.

“Nope! All it does is change my birth certificate, and I wrote out the application letter for that before I left. Didn’t date it, left that for Mam to do. Shhh! Don’t tell the Registrar!”

From terror to giggling, in a matter of minutes, but she wasn’t finished.

“Told Mam to let your parents know, but not to tell you till I had had a chance to. Oh, and you have a party to organise now!”

“Party?”

“Yes! Engagement party, silly. I can’t be there, unless we can time it for one of these calls, but all our friends deserve the chance to celebrate as well. Oh, and another thing”

“Hasn’t there been enough already?”

“This is important. You are NOT wearing Ron Hill Tracksters to our wedding!”

The call got progressively sillier, until she held up a hand.

“Got to go to work now, but do me a favour and ring your home to let them know. Please. They’re waiting for your call”

She laughed in the most unaffected way I had ever heard from her, then grinned yet again.

“All this lab work has done my organisational skills a power of good!”

We closed the conversation off, in full-flow soppiness, and I did indeed ring Mam.

“She told you, then? That she’s got the certificate?”

“Yes! And of course I said yes!”

There were several seconds of silence before Mam spoke again, and her voice was so soft I could hardly hear her.

“Enfys, my sweet one, she didn’t mention… I am going to say that I have worked it out from what you just said. Am I right? Who asked who?”

“Mam, she asked me, but we tossed a coin for it”

More silence, then Dad came on the line.

“Your Mam’s in tears, love, but I do believe they’re good ones. This is the best of news, but I suspect she didn’t run it past Vic or Nansi. Can we?”

“Oh, yes! Alys said we have to sort a party out, before she’s back. En… Engagement party, Said our friends deserve it”

“My little girl was never one for the easy route, was she?”

I found my centre, as if I was at a particularly awkward move.

“What’s the point of easy routes, Dad?”

“Not what I meant, love. Your life’s like your climbing: no cheating, straight at the line. Sticking with it till done. You might not remember some of this, but you and Alys…”

With a shock, I realised my own father was crying, just as he passed the phone back to Mam. She took up from his last words.

“Alys, love. Before, well, Alys. You were her only friend, when she had that other name. You have always been there for her, and when I heard you on the phone, that first time, I wondered whether it was that, well, infatuation thing, but… Your Dad has it spot on. Straight at the route, no cheating. We see it in her as well. Sorry for our silliness. This is bloody good news, so please forgive us if we hang up now. Going to call her parents, and then we need a chat about your shifts, and yes, there will be a party. We love you, Enfys Both of you”

She hung up, and that simple act of cutting me off was reassuring in the oddest of ways: not a dismissal, more a declaration of sharing the load. I would make a point of ringing the Edwards the next day, I decided, but first, I had a school group to supervise.

I slept amazingly well, but my dreams were more than a little convoluted.

The school group arrived just before lunch time, as they were from some place in Shropshire, two minibus loads of them including four teachers, and they were all boys. Apart from the teachers, that is, who were also all male. Private school, no doubt: how to equip your pupils for the world outside. There was still plenty of daylight, so once we had done the orientation lecture and fitting of harnesses, Ricky and I set out for the Ricks and Racks, a crocodile of pupils and teachers behind.

“Right, people: I’m Enfys, this is Ricky, and we are at the Ricks and Racks. Not my favourite place, but as you have now seen, nice and close for a short day. We’re going to do some toproping here, which means we will set up a couple of anchors at the top of the crag. We’ll give each of you a go at each line, which should take us through a lot of the daylight, and that will give you a feel for what the sport is about. You’re also booked in for some kayaking tomorrow, so you’ll then have a basis to decide what you’d like to concentrate on for the rest of your stay. Now, this is a fifteen millimetre kernmantel rope, which just means it’s got a woven sheath so it runs smoothly, unlike a hawser-laid rope, whish is the traditional twisted one, and it will take several tons of load, so don’t worry. Please put on your harnesses; Ricky and I will set up the anchors, and then do a safety check of each, before we take you up”

Ricky took over.

“Right, we’ll bring each of you up to just below the top, then lower you back down, but the first safety advice is the word ‘below’, which should normally be yelled as loudly as you can”

He demonstrated exactly how loud he could make it, then grinned.

“Like that. What it means is ‘Oops, I’ve dropped something, sorry’, or sometimes ‘Oh dear, half the cliff seems to have detached itself with me on it’. You’re all wearing helmets; if you hear that word, do NOT look up if you are near the crag. That’s what the lids are for, You’ll hear us shout it shortly, but you’ll be away from the fall line”

The two of us scrambled to the top of the little crag, where we had some fixed anchor points ready, then moved to the edge of the crag, Ricky drawing a deep breath.

“ROPE BELOW!”

That brought some laughter, and after I had followed his own line with mine, we descended, ready for what I was already thinking of as the sorting of sheep from goats. Having split the group on half, we worked through the harnesses one by one, tightening here, completely refitting there, starting with the teachers.

Ricky went to his group, tying a figure of eight in the rope ready to secure his first pupil, but to my surprise, I found my own boy was already attached, and not in any way I would approve of.

“Whose is this crab? Karabiner?”

One of the teachers answered.

“It’s mine. I climb a bit at our local centre, so I brought some of my own kit”

“Sorry, but I am going to have to change this attachment”

“Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“Well, Mister….?”

“Maugham. I teach the boys physics”

“Mr Maugham, we have a number of rules, and reasons for them. Our gear is regularly inspected professionally, and that is a condition of our liability insurance. We also minimise our number of potential points of failure. That is why we tie directly into both waistbelt and leg loops of the harness rather than using the front belay loop and a crab, because that’s two additional failure points”

“Yes, but if we have to tie and untie each time, it takes ages!”

Once again, I centred myself, because I could feel the anger rising.

“Right. Let’s look at this, then. The crab is a low strength one, for clipping bolts on a wall”

“It’s good for two tons”

“Not if the gate is open, and as it’s a snap gate rather than a screwlock, that is a real possibility, especially if a novice climber hugs the rock. There is also the fact that you have attached the rope to one of the gear loops rather than the belay loop. That is a piece of string covered in a piece of plastic tube. If this boy fell on that, it would certainly break. Please don’t use your own equipment here”

“We will have words afterwards, young lady”

“Certainly, but for now, let’s make the best of the light”

Not at all a happy bunny, but I was thanking god I had spotted his incompetence before the lad left the ground; I still had occasional nocturnal memories of that rescue from the flank of Tryfan. So, so easy to stuff things up, and Welsh rock is not something to bounce off. I could feel his eyes boring into me as I turned away, catching the slightest of nods from Ricky to confirm he had heard.

The boys surprised me by their lack of any obvious duffers, and we managed to run each of them, including the teachers, through three mini-routes before shifting to a couple of the gnarlier problems. Throughout, Ricky and I were hearing “Sir! Sir! Miss! Miss!” and answering questions about our own climbing. One boy…

“Miss, is it true that if you fall and get your arm stuck, you have to cut it off?”

Several of the other boys groaned and made references to “That stupid film”, which, naturally I was fully aware of, so I gave a more reassuring answer, met with a series of questions from a multitude of them.

“Gentlemen, I can actually answer that one, because I am a member of the Mountain Rescue Team from the next valley, where we will be doing more climbing”

“Have you had to cut anyone’s arm off, Miss?”

“No, but I have had several rescues where people have got their legs stuck”

“Did you have to cut their legs off, Miss?”

“No, never. We told you today not to use your knees because you can’t do anything from kneeling. When you are on your leg like that, the muscles bulge, and if you can’t take the load off, you get stuck. We get above the casualty, set an anchor, bit like what was holding the ropes today, and then we lower a rope so that we can pull them up. That releases the jam, though we did once have to unlace someone’s boot and pull his foot out. No, we didn’t cut the foot off”

We sorted the ropes and other gear, leaving the boys in their harnesses and helmets for the walk back down, and I felt Maugham’s eyes on me once more as we ambled over the turf, the boys still chattering away.

“Miss! Miss! What’s the hardest thing you’ve climbed up?”

“Miss! Miss! Do you understand Welsh?”

“Miss! Miss! Are the sheep wild?”

And so on. We got them into the Centre, boots off, harnesses and ropes hung up, helmets stacked, and then into the dining room for hot drinks. Maugham was straight to Ross, and after some terse conversation, I couldn’t here, ross called over to Ricky and myself.

“Quick word, you two? Office?”

I exchanged eyebrow raises with the lad, and then we followed Ross and Maugham into the admin room. Ross was coldly official in his tone.

“Enfys, Mr Maugham here has made a complaint about your language and rudeness at the recent session. Would you care to give me your account, please”

Before I could explode, Ricky had a hand up.

“Ross, I heard the whole exchange. Mr Maugham was very, very clear in what he said to Enfys. May I say what I heard?”

Maugham seemed almost to preen, and I suddenly understood. It went deeper than I had assumed, for I had expected some posh bastard complaint about being belittled in front of his pupils, and this felt nastier.

As much as he loved him, Illtyd could be a seriously sexist pain, and what Mrs Preece had done to Alys would always leave a nasty taste, but this was my first understanding of what misogyny really felt like.

Private school, boys only. I wasn’t getting the vibes from him that I had picked up from Jon or Rhys, and as soon as Ricky had offered his account, Maugham had looked pleased.

Oh dear.

Ricky nodded to me before speaking.

“Usual thing, boss”

Nice touch, lad.

“Took the group up the Ricks after the orientation and issue of PPE: harnesses and helmets. Ensured the boys were supervised by their teachers and well away from the crag. Enfys and I soloed up to the fixed anchors, I explained the ‘Below’ call and then demonstrated how loud it should be before we dropped the double ropes. Back down, divide the group in two, and then start the safety checks for harnesses and lids. I’d done mine, and was tying on the first student, figure of eight tied through the harness and back on itself, as per SOP.

“Enfys was slower than me in her safety check…”

Maugham was now preening.

“... because she had one boy who had managed to get both feet in a single leg loop, so had to refit the whole thing. Mr Maugham here went to his rucksack and got what was clearly his own crab. Sport-climbing thing, for quick clipping on bolted routes indoors. No screwgate. I wouldn’t have one of those anywhere near my rack, to be honest. He’s, Mr Maugham, he’s taken the climbing rope and tied a doubled overhand knot, not a figure of eight…”

Shit! I’d missed that extra bit of idiocy!

“…then clipped the clearly dangerous knot to the first boy’s harness with his climbing wall crab, but he’s done it on one of the gear loops rather than the belay loop. I suspect the boy was first in the queue due to his size, if you see what I mean. Enfys has spotted all of that, and explained why we do things the way we do, as well as our safety inspection schedule and public liability insurance requirements. Mr Maugham then argued that doing it our way would cause delays”

Ross was nodding.

“How did you perceive Enfys to react”

Maugham interrupted,

“She was rude, hectoring and belittled me in front of my pupils!”

Ross held up a hand.

“One moment, please. Ricky?”

“Ross. Enfys was really calm, polite. I said the lad was one of the bigger ones, and we were lowering the boys off after each climb. If she hadn’t spotted how he was tied on, that gear loop would most probably have ripped, and we’d be looking at a seriously injured boy, possibly a dead one. If it had been my group, I wouldn’t have been so calm, and Mr Maugham there would have discovered exactly what fucking rudeness is!”

That brought a shout of complaint from Maugham, but once again Ross just held up a hand, until the spluttering ran its cause.

“Mr Maugham, there is another aspect to this, and it is something that was brought to my attention by one of your colleagues. I will refrain from naming them, even though they assured me that they would not object if I did. Enfys, Ricky, my apologies, but you were already out of the door when I received this information. In short, I was warned that Mr Maugham has been telling his colleagues at length about his expertise in climbing, and said colleague was concerned there might be an incident rather similar to today’s Mr Maugham, You put me in quite the dilemma”

“What do you mean by siding with—"

“Mr Maugham. My dilemma is in whether to ask your entire group to leave, whether to ask you alone to leave, or whether to discuss the matter with your employers for their advice and decision. I will not be doing any of those this evening, but I will say this. There have been very few serious incidents in the history of this centre, but each one has been a source of pain and anguish for staff, over and above that obviously suffered by the victims. I know that Enfys has recently had to recover a couple of bodies from a fatal accident. You very nearly gave us another one today. So please go to your boys and help them prepare for their evening meal, before my own reserve succumbs to the temptation of emulating Ricky’s choice of language. The door’s behind you”