CHAPTER 75
I was more than a little confused the next morning, as I rolled out of my bed to find, rather than its edge and my slippers, a snoring body in a sleeping bag. A few moments of panic ensued before I realised that I had ended up in the bunkhouse rather than my bedroom. I was still in my posh dress, but someone had laid an unzipped sleeping bag over me for warmth.

How much had I poured down my throat? What must Alys think?

The answer was obvious, of course, for the Australian contingent would have disappeared rather early. As for me, I needed the loo. I managed to slither out from between the sleeping forms either side of me, who turned out to be Neil and Warren, the latter spooning Elen.

Loo, just in time. Kettle on. Set the oven heating. Look at the breakfast supplies and try and guess whether I could actually face eating any of them, and remember that I wasn’t the only one in the building. I made myself a mug of tea with a single bag, and set the kettle going again to fill a pot before taking a seat on one of the benches in anticipation of some ripe ambush memories. I knew what so many of the others would say, especially that perennial joke about livers being evil and needing punishment, but I still felt embarrassed. So drunk, so public. I filled the pot, laying a couple of tea towels over it as a makeshift cosy, then settled back into my attempts to remember the evening.

“There tea in that pot, love?”

I looked up to smile at Neil, and nodded.

“Be brewed by now. Got my own already”

“Ta”

He sorted out a mug, then settled himself at the opposite side of the dining table.

“Pushing the envelope a bit last night, love?”

All I could do was nod, and he reached out for my hand.

“Don’t fret about it. Big day, big emotions. Wasn’t just you getting tanked up, was it?. I stayed up a bit later than I intended to, moving a few of the sleepers onto their sides”

He snorted out a laugh, shaking his head and smiling.. I raised my eyebrows.

“Penny for them? Something I did that was particularly stupid?”

“Like you trying to do a catwalk sashay thing in that blonde woman’s heels?”

“Oh please tell me I didn’t…”

“I think you’re safe. Only about twenty people will have it on video”

“Oh god”

“Not to worry, and I wasn’t laughing about that. Happier things, love”

“Such as?”

“Few years ago, I got very, very drunk, and that was also over Alys. Much, much happier reason last night, not least because she’s still with us. I spent part of the evening chatting with the coppers, before Mo got too pissed, and it was the same thing for them. The contrast, yeah? She was so vibrant, so THERE. I mean, I know it’s not the same over a video link, but you know what I mean”

He snorted again.

“And she’s been taking lessons from Mike as well. Bloody smug, they were!”

He took a long sip from his mug, then looked around the bunkhouse for a couple of seconds before turning back to me.

“She deserves to be smug, Enfys. What she’s been through, and she’s still bouncing back. Ha! Didn’t mean it that way, but, well, still coming back, isn’t she?”

I nodded, thinking of the ever-reliable Steph taking those few minutes with me, tears mixed with rain. ‘Don’t drop me; I’ll break’.

“I think so, Neil. Not something anyone could really forget, stick away in some mental locker sort of place, is it?”

He shook his head.

“Don’t I know that one. Besides, I got talking to that Eric last night, and he’s, well, it’s mostly second-hand from his Missus, but, well, once again. She was a traffic cop, on motorbikes, and I will leave that one there”

I held my words in check, that urge to gush about how I knew about Annie, for it wasn’t my conversation, not really. It was Steph’s unloading, all over again, with different words but carrying the same pain. Neil looked up from his mug and gave me a brief smile.

“Don’t quite know how to put this, but… Many of us get nasties in our lives. I’ve had a few, and I have to say Alys was both the worst and far from it, cause the other stuff involved deaths. I’ll be blunt, because if you stick with the Rescue, you will go there, that same path. What you have, what Annie has with her Eric, it’s someone they can unload on. Like a pressure relief valve, if you see what I mean. Stops them going bang. I watch Alys now, and…”

He looked over towards the sleeping shelves, as someone let out a gentle fart, and laughed.

“Yeah. Bit like that. Seriously, though, I was worried. You are going to catch some absolute shite on the tops, and I didn’t think Alys would have the strength to, and I’m so, so glad I was wrong. I now have a big problem”

“What sort of problem?”

He grinned, far more happily.

“What the hell do I get you two as a wedding present? Morning, Warren! Tea’s in the pot. Was that your arse we heard?”

I turned my head, finding Warren hand in hand with his partner, who was blushing a brightly guilty pink, and our morning gradually took shape in traditional and well-worn ways.

That morning, I suppose, is where I realised what adulthood actually consists of, the things that outweigh a mere number of years of life, a certain number of orbits of the Sun. It was the old, old story of children who knew they were finally mature, a gloriously infallible adult, unlike the previous year, when they had been so childish, that pattern repeated every year until the recognition finally dawned that there was no such thing as that omnicapable adult, that we all simply try our best, and often fail.

Adulthood is the recognition that it’s a challenge which we often fail to overcome, and if we are lucky we find someone else who is there to catch us when we stumble. Steph and Geoff had each other. Annie and Eric, so many others that I knew, and by god Dad had Mam.

I had Alys, and as my vision started to pick out the cracks that other people did their best to avoid, I fully and finally understood how lucky I was. I clung to those thoughts through the day, even when clearing up the vomit one or more of my friends had left in a handbasin in the toilets. I got a vast number of hugs from my various friends as they departed, some of those embraces so much firmer and prolonged than others, and finally the weekend was done. I was officially spoken for, and in honour of that fact I picked up Neil’s suggestion and mailed my lover to brainstorm about wedding presents.

It was really happening. Wow. And she would be back with me at the end of Summer.

I made sure to get a bit of free time arranged for the following weekend so that I could ride out to Gwern Gof Uchaf to say hello, and that was a superb day indeed. My little Honda rattled as it crossed the cattle grid in bright morning sunshine, and I parked up against the farmhouse wall before strolling over to the large ridge tent that seemed to house most of the group. They had a couple of the double-burner gas stoves in use, and a familiar figure grinned at me before nudging Old Pat, who was agitating a mammoth tea pot.

“Morning, engaged woman!”

I laughed at Gemma’s greeting, and returned it, word for word.

“I thought I’d drop by and see if anyone fancied trying some climbing. Got some gear in my saddlebags”

Pat laughed, filling a number of mugs as she spoke.

“Bit late for that, Enfys. Got our own crag rats, we have. Deb? Tea? You want a cuppa, Enfys?”

I nodded, and the tall woman sat up from a sleeping mat spread on the grass in front of her tent.

“You’re Steph Woodruff’s friend, aren’t you?”

I nodded, and she smiled.

“after sorting out our copper friends, ours as well, I think. Gemma told us all about last weekend”

I glared at the cook, and just laughed happily.

“Well, it was so much fun, especially when you tried to walk in Candice’s shoes! Marty nearly wet himself laughing”

I remembered Neil’s words, feeling the blush as it rose.

“You didn’t…”

“Record it? No. Was busy. I think most of the rest of the crowd did, though. And that man with the funny name caught it on your laptop’s camera”

“Oh hell”

I made decision to do a file search once I was home. I needed that erased before Alys saw it. Gemma laughed again, and pointed up towards Tryfan Fach.

“Most of the others are up by the Perving Slab---er, our name for it. Fit young men in short shorts, and two of them are ours. That’s what Pat meant about crag rats. They’ll be back down for proper brekky in a bit, so I’ll ask now. Is it the music on tonight? In that pub?”

I nodded, back on safer ground, as I finalised my plans to strangle Illtyd.

“That was why I came over, really. Got an offer for you”

Pat said “Oo-er, I knew you were on that other bus, girl!”, while Deb snorted. Once again, I felt my cheeks warming up.

“Not like that! Just a thought I had”

A thought that had crystallised after Steph had recounted that lift back to the next farm on a freezing night. Smile nicely at them, woman.

“I knew you’d be camping up here, not at the Brenin, and I know some of you like a drink, so Dad, well, our family, we’ve got a bunkhouse in Bethesda, and there’s room, so you won’t need to worry about a designated driver for that bus I can see. Or you could all just get the bus down from Idwal and back up tomorrow, which would save you from parking worries. What do you think? Let the camp site know first, of course. Don’t want the Rescue calling out, especially as that would include me”

Debbie was nodding.

“I think Frank would like a beer tonight, so… What would we need?”

“Sleeping bags and wash kits is all”

“Sounds like a plan. And here they all come”

I had to ask the obvious question, about being out on a crag before breakfast, and it was Pat who answered.

“Carpe diem, love. Take your opportunities when they come up, and in this place, when it’s this nice, get on the crag before the rain has a chance to turn up. Something I tried to teach this one years ago, but she was a bloody slow learner. You had breakfast?”

“I have, at the Brenin, but I could do with another cuppa, if that’s okay?”

She poured, and I settled onto the grass with my mug as multiple young women and a few men appeared, along with the Woodruffs. I tried to huff.

“Brought a load of gear up, and there’s you two already up and away”

Geoff waved at two younger men.

“Blame this pair, them and their other halves. You got a plan for today, love? Oh, and this lot will introduce themselves as they go”

There was a loud clap of hands, and Debbie stood, waiting for silence.

“Quiet, you lot! You’ll remember Enfys here, had the harp? Music night at that pub again, and she’s got an offer for us. There’s a bus down to the pub from the next campsite, and Enfys is offering us a place in her family’s bunkhouse. No driving, no hiring big taxis. How many cars can we get outside your place, Enfys?”

“Er, three”

“Then what we will do is pack as many as will fit into three cars after dropping the rest at the bus stop. You will need sleeping bag, toiletry stuff, and that’s all, apart from Alun’s guitar. Does that plan suit?”

There was a loud chorus of agreement, as I decided that the woman was someone it might not pay to upset, before Steph called out something silly about the Woodruffs parking their vehicles indoors, and then the group fell on their breakfast. I did succumb to a sausage sandwich. The day was spent on Tryfan Fach, followed by a gentle walk to my old friend Milestone Buttress, and the rain stayed away, probably in obedience to Debbie. The evening was nowhere near as raucous as my party had been, thank god, and I was safely back at the Brenin after a very good breakfast, because while three of their group had driven their cars to the bunkhouse, each had stopped at the supermarket to stock up.

Happy times; debts repaid.

And Summer came, and I worked stupidly hard for my placement ‘points’ as many familiar faces appeared once more, until I was finally eating breakfast in the Sheraton with Vic and Nansi. I found my hand shaking as we boarded the little shuttle bus to the airport an hour later, and then spent far too long working through the magazine racks in Smiths before checking what sandwiches and sweets were on offer, for it would be a long drive back, and, and, and.

A hand fell on my shoulder, and I turned to find Nansi’s eyes on mine.

“It’s down, love. No more coffee, hey? Not long now Come and sit with us until the flights in the Customs hall, and breathe. Got a hanky?”

“Tissues in my bag”

“Wipe your eyes, then. Bit damp”

I sat next to them on one of the uncomfortable seats, watching the arrivals board.

Landed
In Passports
In Customs Hall
Bags delivered.

People were emerging in twos and threes, then a steady flow. I rose from my seat, taking my place at the barrier with other hopeful people, a bouquet from M&S in my hand. Some stranger next to me asked “Has he been away long?”, and all I could reply was “Far too long”, ignoring the assumption, and then…

She looked taller than I remembered, tanned and fit, in shorts and a cotton shirt with multiple pockets, a broad hat on her head. She was pushing her luggage on a trolley, and as she saw me she stopped dead, the stranger uttering a soft “Oh!” before I was walking forward, flowers almost forgotten in the pull of her smile and the light of her eyes, and finally, finally, I was complete.