Abigail Drew

Writer's Journal

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Abigail Drew's Writer's Journal

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The following blog entries are all related to Abigail Drew's efforts at sharing the stories of the characters who come to her for release to the world. Also any other writing efforts, in the case of the few milieu driven stories she may write. Further included is a file on Abigail's personal diary.

060) Checking in...

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I know. It's been a VERY long time since I've logged in here. I've been reading stories as and when I can, but my internet hasn't and still isn't particularly reliable. For about a year there I couldn't get my laptop to go on the internet at all, and my phone screen is just way too small to view this site well.

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058) OMG!!! Sometimes... Life Really Is Worse Than Fiction

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I present to you without further comment, a real life example of forced fem:

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/01/couple_reveals_childs...

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056) Of Foxes of Fire, Diagnostics & the Outta Control RAM.

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Holy crapolie. I just solved my super retarded Firefox memory problems I've been having since like. They started coming out with new whole version increments in a constant flood. If anyone else has been fighting this, the solution is simple: disable the following services and shut them down: Diagnostic Policy Service, Diagnostic Service Host, and Diagnostic System Host.

Restart Firefox and browse with 50+ tabs open with NO MORE SLOWDOWNS! YAY!

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055) In Search of 17-beta-HSD-3 Blockers OR Life's Easy When

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As many of you are probably aware I've doing HRT DIY-style.

I've gotten my dosages and scheduling and everything pretty well perfected except for ONE THING. One of my three T blockers is making me tired all the time.

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052) My Possible Newly Invented Topical Anesthetic

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So I'm going to be needing to do permanent hair removal, electrolysis, to my face. This is supposed to be EXTREMELY painful... I've been holding off on really looking into getting started on it partially because of the cost of the procedure itself when done professionally, and partially because of the added cost of getting myself anesthetized beforehand.

There are products out there for around $20 that can do at-home galvanic electrolysis, so that's not really a big problem if I can just get up the gumption to DIY it...

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Anyone know anything about the "one-step Amsterdam procedure"?

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I was just looking into a gender clinic reasonably nearby (They're up in Michigan some 40+ miles north of me), and their site, here, claims they do SRS using the "one-step Amsterdam procedure"...

Anyone ever heard of this SRS procedure? I tried googling and either my google-fu has failed, or, there is like, no information about this, or, well, it just plain doesn't exist.

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047) A Parting of Ways

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Well. I suddenly find myself with tons of time on my hands. Part of me wants to be a total ass and try to go after them for harrassment, but... well, that part of me never really has been all that powerful. And honestly... They're being a lot nicer about it than they could be. A whole heckuva lot nicer than the last job to fire me.

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046) I'm A Beauty School Girl

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So I've been looking into the possibility of going back to school, and the interest was in Cosmetology. After some research, I concluded it was going to be either Toledo Academy of Beauty Culture, or Regency Beauty Institute - Toledo. My instincts told me I was going to be going to Regency, but I wanted to avoid any pre-bias before even giving TABC a chance, so I visited them first. Ghettoist Beauty School ever! So that was a... maybe, but prolly not.

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045) Busy Week

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OK, so, I've been "out" for a while. Just about everyone knows about me, lots of people who passed me with only a casual glance were already seeing a girl... So it was time to take the next step and drop the male facade completely.

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043) Excuse Me, Ma'am

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Okay, admission time, I've fiddled with my herbal concoction a bit since the last time I talked about it. I'm no longer taking any kind of phyto-estrogen at all. I've balanced and counterbalanced a purely anti-androgen formula and that's all I'm taking right now. Getting hold of strong enough doses of isoflavones was costing waaaay too much.

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041) The Stink

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The fridge at work has been smelling awful for a long time, when I went in today, it was so bad that the entire shop literally stank and you couldn't tell the stench in the fridge anymore for the odor permeating the entire place. Towards the end of the day, 'Thal decided to once again clean the fridge. This time, he took it in his head to actually take the shelves out and REALLY clean it - that's when we found it. The reason for the stench. The odorous villain. The... Black Mold.

Seriously.

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040) Was that a guy?

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I know, it's been a while since I blogged last... Honestly, my life's gotten pretty boring of late. It's the same story day after day, I go to work, eat, play some games, read some stuff on BCTS, occasionally try to write my stories that I'm really horrible about updating... And I'm getting absolutely no where with my transition goals. I'm not getting any closer to being able to afford health insurance (that covers transition), and my family and close associates still insist this is just some "phase" at best. At worst, they're like my mom and are refusing to believe it's happening at all.

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039) May I speak with...

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So yesterday a telemarketer called my cell phone -again-. I really wish I could figure out a way to get that to stop... Anyhoo... I answered it with "Hello", and they asked if they could speak to my male name as though there was no way on earth he was already speaking to them. I said speaking. And they were seriously shocked. They asked, in a disbelieving tone: Are you really Andrew? As though there was absolutely no way on earth I could possibly be Andrew.

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The Cop, The Villain, and The Wet Work: Episode 03

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The Chronicles of Atlantia: The Cop, the Villain, and the Wet Work: Episode 03
by Abigail Drew
inspired by Erin Halfelven’s Girlery

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March 30, 2011; 2:30 PM:

“Thom...” the Chief began, his face solemn, “Sorry... Officer O’Meara. Your previous partner didn’t make it. Nor her new partner. Both died from inhaling too much of the nerve poison. They died while in the ambulance.” The chief of police betrayed absolutely no emotion, his entire body a rigid mask.

Abby's Ultimate Bean Paste Sandwiches

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The following recipe makes a great balanced meal for on the go. I make the paste in large quantity and freeze most of it, getting out a weeks allotment at a time. The reason for using dry beans and soaking, cooking and then softening them for so long is, first, best results for pasting, second, elimination of the stereotypical gaseous components of the beans.

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The Cop, The Villain, and The Wet Work: Episode 02

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The Chronicles of Atlantia: The Cop, the Villain, and the Wet Work: Episode 02
by Abigail Drew
inspired by Erin Halfelven’s Girlery

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March 30, 2011; 3:00 AM:

“It looks like they’re starting to come to.” came a disembodied voice, as my groggy mind started to clear. I opened my eyes, and tried reaching for my service weapon, only it wasn’t there, and a searing pain shot through my head, sharpest at the two points at the ends of my optic nerves. I fell back... into a bed?

The Cop, The Villain, and The Wet Work: Episode 01

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The Chronicles of Atlantia: The Cop, the Villain, and the Wet Work: Episode 01
by Abigail Drew
inspired by Erin Halfelven’s Girlery

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March 29, 2011; 5:45 PM:

“Ten-ninety at Citizens on West Main, ten-forty. Ten-ninety at Citizens on West Main, ten-forty. Ten-ninety at Citizens on West Main, ten-forty.” started blaring over the police radio just as Bill and I turned onto West Main from South Ninth West. We had been on regular patrol for the downtown area since early morning and all had been quiet until now. A “ten-ninety” is police code for a bank alarm, a “ten-forty” means respond quickly. Citizens Bank was the most major bank in town, seated at the corner opposite the courthouse at First and Main.

038) Merry Christmas!

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Afraid I don't have any gifts to give to the folks here, but I just took another big step, though I suppose in a way I'd already done it unofficially anyways by simply not logging on...

Many of you may recall that I've mentioned I used to be a massively addicted MMORPG player. I had what even other players called an "army" of alts.

I haven't played these since June.

I just gave them all away.

The majority of my army was given to the last guild I'd been active in, and the lone remaining bard went to the guild before it.

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037) Wow, tis the season and all that already?

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Where did the time go? It seems just yesterday was the middle of summer still. OK... not really.

Though this year does, in turns, feel like it went by awfully fast, but that an awful lot happened.

Well... the situation at home has pretty well stagnated. Every time I try to push any further, my mother about bites my head off and the heads of anyone who she feels is supporting me too much.

I've decided to move out. First, because I want to. Second. Because I want to. Third... ;)

OK, real reason out of the way, some of the rationalizations:

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036) The Boy I Was

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This entry is inspired by LittleKatie's entry Monstrosity.

What I'm going to do here is take us all on a short photographical journey down memory lane, presenting - though old photographs - the path of destruction I'd been on before finally facing myself. I'm going to start in High School, since that's really where things started to escalate.

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01) If I Could But Hie To Kolob

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If I Could But Hie To Kolob

Psalm of a LDS Transgendered 1

by Abigail Drew

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O, but if I could hie to Kolob,
E’en in but a twinkling of an eye.
O, then might I turn back the pages,
E’en back till before my mortal birth.

Then, but might I then reconsider...
E’en that great and dreadful decision...
O, that terrible terrible choice.
E’en which now wracks my soul in torment.

01) Notes on If I Could But Hie to Kolob

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This is a very emotionally and spiritually charged piece. As such, there will be references that those outside Mormonism and Christianity in general will not get. In this entry, I will attempt to explain some of these references.

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Psalms of a LDS Transgendered

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Psalms of a LDS Transgendered
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This shall be a book of all my transgender related poetry, to be added to as I write them.

Found two businesses somewhat nearby who do galvanic electrolysis...

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They both do Thermolysis, Galvanic (multi-probe), and Blend. I'd insist on either pure Galvanic, or Blend, of course.

http://www.electrolysis-by-maryann.com/

She even lists her rates right there on the front page. She certainly puts together a smart site at least...

http://www.1eam.com/index.html

I'd have to call them to even find out their rates, but they're about 10 miles closer to me by bike than Mary-Ann is. I don't like their site as much...

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So... I'm shopping for health insurance.

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One of the best quotes I've been able to find is from SuperMed One / Medical Mutual of Ohio. The question, friends, is, are they known to be kind towards us? Antagonistic towards us? Or don't really care as long as we pay our premiums on time and handle our copays and coinsurances?

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033) Wishing for better understanding. II

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Work yesterday sucked. Rained all day, cleaned off a back patio of a recently vacated townhouse that they are getting ready to start showing first thing, then just blew wet leaves about all day with the blower. Wasn't the most efficient use of time, but it was the most efficient I could do with the rain, and the leaves just had to be blown away from the walkways, rain or not. Nothing terribly interesting happened, though I have mostly written a psalm in my head that I just need to mesh out in writing, which I intend to do tomorrow.

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031) Fear of the Unknown

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I think some small part of me is still resisting the changes I'm beginning to make. I think I'm, in some small corner of my mind, still afraid. Afraid of what I don't know about being female. Afraid of how people who don't or can't understand will treat me. Afraid of change. Someone replied to Heather's entry about losing her pet that it's a bit of a "system shock", after 16 years, suddenly losing a dear friend and companion, her dog. I kind of think that's what's happening to me now.

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029) Earthly Devoted Harmony

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So. The family meeting had been tonight.

This morning I had too much laundry to do and couldn't make it to church, when my mother found out about this, she was all like "what about the Bishop?"

I was like, "what, about the Bishop?"

She was, "Weren't you supposed to meet with him at church today?"

I was like "no..."

She said, "you told me I'd find out today, at church."

I know she's brighter than that, so she selectively misunderstood me back on Friday. I said, "No... I said you'd find out today - at the family meeting."

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028) Dare To Dream

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Holy crapoly, I DREAMED last night. No, seriously, *I* DREAMED! I *HAVE* been dreaming!

You're probably all thinking I'm nuts right now, and perhaps I am, but you have to understand, for nearly two decades, as my fortress has been in place, I have never once dreamed.

The last time I can remember dreaming while sleeping was around 10 or 11. That's 15-16 years of NO DREAMS.

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027) The Last Supper

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Had dinner with just my mom and I last night at a Japanese restaurant in town.

The restaurant was excellent. It was my first time there, though my younger brother had been there and told me it was very authentic.

What he hadn't told me was that it was also very traditional! The cooks even come to your table and do the whole show thing if you order Habachi! We didn't, but we observed this taking place with customers who did.

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