So... I might just be getting a boyfriend soon...

I know! I can't believe it!

Anyways... He doesn't... At least, probably not... know about my past yet.

"The Miracle Cure" of course being a reference to the idea that we can somehow be made into just a "normal" cis-gendered person in whatever sex we were assigned at birth.

As many of you are probably aware I've doing HRT DIY-style.

I've gotten my dosages and scheduling and everything pretty well perfected except for ONE THING. One of my three T blockers is making me tired all the time.

So, I figured it was probably time for me to put up a more recent pic of myself. It's been a LONG time since most of my befores... But first, here's one more before:

So it's been a week and a day since my last blog. It's been an eventful one.

Well. I suddenly find myself with tons of time on my hands. Part of me wants to be a total ass and try to go after them for harrassment, but... well, that part of me never really has been all that powerful. And honestly... They're being a lot nicer about it than they could be. A whole heckuva lot nicer than the last job to fire me.

OK, so, I've been "out" for a while. Just about everyone knows about me, lots of people who passed me with only a casual glance were already seeing a girl... So it was time to take the next step and drop the male facade completely.

Okay, admission time, I've fiddled with my herbal concoction a bit since the last time I talked about it. I'm no longer taking any kind of phyto-estrogen at all. I've balanced and counterbalanced a purely anti-androgen formula and that's all I'm taking right now. Getting hold of strong enough doses of isoflavones was costing waaaay too much.

The fridge at work has been smelling awful for a long time, when I went in today, it was so bad that the entire shop literally stank and you couldn't tell the stench in the fridge anymore for the odor permeating the entire place. Towards the end of the day, 'Thal decided to once again clean the fridge. This time, he took it in his head to actually take the shelves out and REALLY clean it - that's when we found it. The reason for the stench. The odorous villain. The... Black Mold.

Seriously.

So yesterday a telemarketer called my cell phone -again-. I really wish I could figure out a way to get that to stop... Anyhoo... I answered it with "Hello", and they asked if they could speak to my male name as though there was no way on earth he was already speaking to them. I said speaking. And they were seriously shocked. They asked, in a disbelieving tone: Are you really Andrew? As though there was absolutely no way on earth I could possibly be Andrew.

Afraid I don't have any gifts to give to the folks here, but I just took another big step, though I suppose in a way I'd already done it unofficially anyways by simply not logging on...

Many of you may recall that I've mentioned I used to be a massively addicted MMORPG player. I had what even other players called an "army" of alts.

I haven't played these since June.

I just gave them all away.

The majority of my army was given to the last guild I'd been active in, and the lone remaining bard went to the guild before it.

This entry is inspired by LittleKatie's entry Monstrosity.

What I'm going to do here is take us all on a short photographical journey down memory lane, presenting - though old photographs - the path of destruction I'd been on before finally facing myself. I'm going to start in High School, since that's really where things started to escalate.

This is a very emotionally and spiritually charged piece. As such, there will be references that those outside Mormonism and Christianity in general will not get. In this entry, I will attempt to explain some of these references.

Work yesterday sucked. Rained all day, cleaned off a back patio of a recently vacated townhouse that they are getting ready to start showing first thing, then just blew wet leaves about all day with the blower. Wasn't the most efficient use of time, but it was the most efficient I could do with the rain, and the leaves just had to be blown away from the walkways, rain or not. Nothing terribly interesting happened, though I have mostly written a psalm in my head that I just need to mesh out in writing, which I intend to do tomorrow.

I think some small part of me is still resisting the changes I'm beginning to make. I think I'm, in some small corner of my mind, still afraid. Afraid of what I don't know about being female. Afraid of how people who don't or can't understand will treat me. Afraid of change. Someone replied to Heather's entry about losing her pet that it's a bit of a "system shock", after 16 years, suddenly losing a dear friend and companion, her dog. I kind of think that's what's happening to me now.