Humor / Jokes / Cuteness

Thoughts on weather

I love winter. I do. I actually love every season. I prefer it, though, when they stay in their lanes. Watching the poor daffodils wilt under an onslaught of sleet put me distinctly out of sorts this morning. Honestly, though, I’m sure it would depress anyone. It would depress circus clowns and hyenas and the people who get paid to record laugh tracks. I’m sure it would even depress Curly, the obnoxiously cheerful protagonist from the play Oklahoma.

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Palm Sunday

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Hello, it Rebecca Anna Coleman here! Many of you know me as that girl who writes stories that feature anime like characters and often have anime like plots. Most know me as that one girl who always seems to set her stories in Mississippi. But many of you don't know that I've also an the solo acolyte of my local Episcopal Parish, Trinity Episcopal Church.

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Ozone

I first learned this about molecules in fifth grade: a molecule is the smallest amount of a material that has the properties of that material. The textbook ended a discussion on oxygen telling us, "Oxygen atoms travel in pairs. Two oxygen atoms form an oxygen molecule. The oxygen molecule is the smallest amount that has the properties of oxygen."

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I so wish I could easily travel

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So, I came across a tweet and wish I could figure out how to post it in its entirety, but here's the link:
https://twitter.com/archer_rs/status/1660621791444836353
I know a tiny bit about France, enough to be dangerous, but I remember the punchline's significance. It starts thusly:

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Grammarly humor

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I was putting some of my writing through Grammarly, and I just had to laugh at one of the suggestions.

Original text: When Mom got fed up with us boys, she would cuddle or do something girly with Rose.

Grammarly Suggest correction: Mom would cuddle or do something girly with us boys when she got fed up with Rose.

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Sparky Is My Hero

Originally posted February 13, 2000 on Original BigCloset

Warm Snoopy Hugs
"Sparky Is My Hero"
by Joyce E. Melton
February 13, 2000
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The History of Banning High Heels

I just have to share this video titled The History of Banning High Heels by fashion historian Nicole Rudolph about all the different reasons that society tried to ban high heels from the 1850's to the 1920's. The reasons, from our point of view, are so silly that they are hilarious.

Spoiler alert: Back then a high heel was defined as anything higher than about 1.5 inches!

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Knees together please!

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You try so hard to make proper ladies out of them. So hard. And this is what you find when you wander in from a long day of sweating over a hot laptop.

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There are days when it's just not worth the aggravation. It's Netflix, I tell you. Such a bad influence.

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emails and their results

I find it fascinating how much people get messed up, and then report it as the truth.

I got an email about "watching out for public records being released, and what they may say about you." So, just for kicks, I looked myself up online to see what it says.

The result? Whitepages isn't making a good impression with me They have 2 wrong aliases and 3 incorrect places I used to live. "Uh.... No, I don't think I really want to pay for your services. You don't seem to know much about your 'subjects'."

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Looking-Glass Approach

I was just reminded of "Through the Looking Glass", a scene in which if you approached someone, he got farther from you. Trying to chase an FTL spacecraft has a Looking-Glass aspect, as I discovered while equation-crunching and number-crunching for my story.

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Religion and Politics

I know, I know! Hot buttons and controversy, but there's more. I have been a long time admirer of Mrs Betty Bowers - who bills herself as AMERICA'S BEST CHRISTIAN. A satirical wonder, happily skewering hypocrisy in its many guises.

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A Borg

I'm sitting in a parking lot right now, waiting for my daughter to get done with an appointment. I'm sitting directly across from the door, so I can see when she comes out.

A little bit ago, someone walked out with tattoos all over his face. Now if someone wants a tattoo or two, thats fine. They're an expression of ... diversity, I guess, but as you can tell, I don't have one. Were I to transition, I might do eyeliner. That's about as far as I'd go, however.

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I haven't done a driving rant for awhile...

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Wow! I didn't know they were making invisible turn signals, but apparently, they are! Wow!

It seems every time I go for a drive, people are using invisible turn signals. What a cool invention!

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Attack of the...

... the Preteen Brain-Feasting Gender-Melting Zombies from Dimension 8.35a, Book 4, Volume 7e, Part III, Chapter 27.

Is that what titles will ultimately look like? It seems as if titles are developing more and more subdivisions.

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Snort

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Just now, I had reason to search, "cowgirls don't get mad". Along with the (single) result that I was looking for, the search system offered this suggestion: "cowgirl donut get mad".

I was surprised that the single result was a Bru story. But it had the sequence I was looking for.

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Now I have seen EVERYTHING

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Anyone want to spend $945,000 CAD for a Typhoon class Nuclear Ballistic missile submarine?
listed on cragslist for Vancouver BC

https://vancouver.craigslist.org/van/boa/d/vancouver-tk-17-a...

174 metre long sub powered by twin nuclear reactors ( need fuel ) torpedo tubes, missile silos.
West Coast delivery available.

just what we all need, someone freaking out because hormones are in flux and access to ballistic missiles. ;)

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Isn't insomnia fun?

One of the great things about insomnia is the time you have to think about stuff. I think about consequences a lot. For example, when I finally get enough sleep, and I feel guilty about staying in bed because it's now afternoon, I get up and reach for the light chain from my ceiling fan, and my body says, "Nope. You do that, I'm gonna dump you on the floor."

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One of my favorite blog entries. Another Driving Rant

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While I try not to hate people, I dislike the following type of person intensely, which is why this originally hit my facebook page a few years ago.
For those who know Spokane and the south hill, I was on 57th where Hatch Road comes up the hill and merges with it. A woman in a Subaru Outback came up the hill like a bat from Hades and got right on my backdoor.

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What kind of idiot???

There are times I think I should have been born with a much lighter hair color (before anyone gets up in arms, did I say blond?) rather than the bright red I had as a child. Yes, it darkened into a nice auburn when I was a teenager, and then went boring brown as I got older.

I mean, what kind of idiot eats ghost chili potato chips, then (even after washing hands and using alcohol wipes) checks blood sugar levels, then injects insulin?

Ow ow ow!

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When you have nothing but time on your hands

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So I spent a bit of time last night in the emergency room. At such times, my mind begins to wander... or is it wonder?

For example, What exactly is the Tooth Ferry for? Where does it cross. I thought there was a bridge there.

Do you leave positive or negative feedback when you purchase batteries online?

In Greek mythology, was Chiron known as the Centaur for Disease Control?

Is Irony truely the opposite of wrinkley?

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Another Driving Rant

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Gotta love people who honk their horn .1 second after the light turns green. So thoughtful of them to give a person so much time to take their foot off the brake and hit the accelerator.

*** Start of Rant ***

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The Suffix -age

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Electric potential is also called "voltage" as in the number of volts. Electric current is sometimes called the "amperage". Power, especially electric power, is sometimes called the "wattage". Area when measured in acres is sometimes called "acreage". Have I ever seen "poundage" as in weight in pounds?

So what is "garbage"? There's also "suffrage," by the way. "Universal Suffrage".

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Science Experiments that you don't have to try.

I know, my 2nd blog post today. Sorry.

The other day I tried something new. I sliced a bit of skin off my thumb with a mandolin slicer.

My left thumb is, of course, the test bed for all kinds of fun and wonderful scientific experiments.

Several years ago I tried putting a bullet through the same thumb. While the bullet left sensation in this thumb somewhat less than normal, I can say unequivocally after the slicer test that sensation is still there.

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Rocks

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We've ended up having talks about accidents on my blog a few times. Well, this is hopefully the opposite.

I've had several people who have taken the final scene of Back to the Future to heart at my place. Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

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Developing a headache.

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I guess I need to quit banging my head against a wall, rock, or whatever nice, hard surface is available. Looking back over some of the fanfiction I've written, as well as humorous pieces, and some of the comments. "That defies the laws of physics", or whatnot, to which my response is usually, "What part of the words science fiction are we having problems with?"

I guess I expect too much of people anymore.

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A few days ago

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A few days ago, I wrote a post about an amusing situation that happened to me while driving. In the comments, we began talking about driving trucks, and I mentioned some tragedies I have seen. I got to thinking I can't leave it there, on such a sour note, so the following is my favorite story to tell about my days as a truck driver.

Driving for Uber and Lyft, I am frequently asked what my best Uber / Lyft story is.

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Well, if that wasn't fun...

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Yesterday, I posted a blog about a shock when my car stereo started playing the sounds of squealing tires and breaking glass.

This evening I was working on a web page when out my office window, I heard squealing tires. I hurried outside and found that a car had been speeding on the street in front of my house, and couldn't make the turn. He had left skid marks past two and a half houses because he was driving so fast.

Thankfully, he hit the median and not my yard.

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Wonderful, lifelike sound.

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This post needs a small amount of setup. My wife and my home is on Country Homes Blvd, otherwise known as the Current North / South Freeway in our city. We live just past where the right lane disappears because it has become a turn lane. This frequently becomes the cause of screeching tires and broken glass.

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Sometimes I just have to shake my head

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Sometimes I just have to shake my head and wonder what advertisers were thinking of, or were they thinking at all.

I was looking at Amazon for A/C prices, and got into the tiny evaporative coolers, or as we used to call them when I was a kid, swamp coolers, only in miniature size. There was one picture where the model was sitting in front of a portable A/C wearing a long-sleeved sweater.

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The Shady Post: Tackling Grainne's Evolution

 

The Shady Post
Shadowed's Personal Blog
From the Depths of Her Mind
by:
ShadowedSin
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My thoughts on the world and what is coming about for the future! Expect at least one post from the Shady Place of my mind at least once a week or once every two weeks when I'm busy.

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The Family Girl #096: Anniversary Day!

 

Blog #96: Anniversary Day!
And It Hardly Even Feels Like Ten Years


 
Exactly, and I do mean exactly,ten years ago, on a Tuesday afternoon, at 2:33PM, I posted my very first story here in the BigCloset (or what I've taken to calling "BCTS"): I posted the first part of a little story I called "Danny." And it is exactly ten years from that time.

Yes, indeed - it's my tenth-year anniversary here in BCTS.

Yayyyy!

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