Polly Adler

A Christmas of Confusion

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December 2021 Christmas Holidays Story Contest Entry

A Christmas of Confusion

 

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'You can't do this to me!' I say. Pointlessly. I'm pretty sure Karl can do anything he wants to me.
All he has to do is look at me with those deep, dark eyes and I start going all soft and unfocussed
and gooey and the next thing I know I've agreed.
But he doesn't know that.
I hope.

Songbird

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I curtsey for the audience as the thunder of their applause breaks over me, a pounding, re-echoing surf so deep you could drown in it. I keep a bright, happy, grateful smile fixed on my face as I do so. I'm Ireland's sweetheart after all, the songbird of Kerry. My shows are sold out, my albums top the bestseller lists ,I'll be appearing at the Abbey Theatre as Kathleen Ni Houlihan at this year's festival and I'm tipped to be the next Rose of Tralee.

Emily's Strange Life Chapter 9

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Emily's Strange Life Chapter 9

There is no reason why I should be cooking dinner for my landlady, but somehow it seems to have turned out that way. I blame the sexist manufacturers of meat sauce jars. Mrs Pilsudski couldn't get the jar she'd bought to go with her evening meal open and neither could I, so now it sits there mocking our female weak wristedness while I glower at it and make a casserole from scratch.

Emily's Strange Life Chapter 8

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I remember that Zoe Haeckelthrope, who had a minor in sociology and clearly thought my feminist consciousness needed raising, used to tell me that the Male Gaze objectifies women. If that's true then after a month of working here I ought to be a statue.

Emily's Strange Life Chapter 7

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One important thing to be aware of about nuns. When they say they're going to give you a total makeover, they aren't kidding. I figure it's the backed up pressure of not really being able to experiment themselves that means when they do get a chance it's Nuns Go Wild!

Emily's Strange Life Chapter 6

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Moment of truth. I'm in the hospital's cybercafe. It's three am so I have the place to myself and I'm about to do what I've been putting off since Michael told me the secret, or at least, what he claimed was the secret. I google 'Marcus Julius Naso', the name Michael told me was mine. .

Then I look at my search results and shudder. I attempted to usurp the throne of the Roman Empire before being assassinated in 407 AD? Oh, wait, that's the wrong Marcus Julius Naso!

Emily's Strange Life Chapter 5

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coverpic2.jpg Emily's Strange Life Chapter 5

I don't know what religion I was baptised into, or if I ever was. I don't know if I'm Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Wiccan or Hindu. But I do know that I will never hear a word against nuns as long as I live.

Emily's Strange Life Chapter 3

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It's a beautiful day, I have twenty-four hours before Michael gets back.and I plan to make the most of it, so I'm wandering the forest with a basket on one arm. As part of my quest to eat organic and stretch the housekeeping I go out and gather forest fruits every year. Michael laughs (in a nice way) and calls me a wood nymph but it doesn't stop him eating the blackberry crumbles or the rowan jelly or drinking the sloe gin (So far he won't touch the rose hip tea even though I assure him it's good for the blood, but hey, one step at a time).

Emily's Strange Life Chapter 2

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A few hours later and I'm seeing my boyfriend off on another potentially fatal trip. Naturally, I concentrate on being perky. However worried I feel the last thing Michael needs is me bringing him down ahead of a mission.

“Be careful while I'm away,” Michael warns me “I worry about you.” He does too. He's off to the wastes of northern Canada where literally everyone will want to kill him and he's busy worrying about me.

“Do you have your pistol handy?” He asks me

The Answer To A Maiden's (?) Prayer Chapter 3

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The Answer To A Maiden's (?) Prayer Chapter Three

I suppose there are worse nicknames to be stuck with than “Miss Steak”, even if it is constantly in need of explanation ( No, not Mistake, Miss Steak) but I still hadn't entirely forgiven Rocky for landing me with it. That said, in over a month of volunteering at the homeless shelter I'd discovered there was a lot more to him than the brash youth who'd compared me to a steak dinner before being slapped down by James, aka Sir Galahad, aka Hopalong, aka Shaft, the man who'd founded and ran the shelter.

The Answer to a Maiden's (?) Prayer

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I just had time to think “Oh dear God please save me!” as the shark erupted from under my bodyboard, sending me flying. Even as I fell back towards the water, limbs flailing, that dreadful maw was gaping below me at the exact spot where I would land. My death scream was echoing in my ears when suddenly the noise of everything else stopped.

The Answer to
a Maiden's (?) Prayer


By Polly Adler

The Answer To A Maiden's (?) Prayer Chapter 1

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I just had time to think “Oh dear God please save me!” as the shark erupted from under my bodyboard, sending me flying. Even as I fell back towards the water, limbs flailing, that dreadful maw was gaping below me at the exact spot where I would land. My death scream was echoing in my ears when suddenly the noise of everything else stopped. So did I in fact, suspended in mid air, water droplets all around me frozen in flight. Below me the sea was unmoving and the monster that an instant ago had been poised to devour me was halted in mid lunge, it's head just emerged from the water.

A Faery Tale Wedding? Chapter 3: Rude Awakenings

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“Uffl! Wurghh! Kiwi fruit” Belinda thrashed in panic, not knowing where she was for a moment as she awoke.

“Morning sleeping beauty”

"AHH”

More than expected

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The scene: a nightclub somewhere in America. Enter Donald Trump accompanied by a number of aides and secret service agents
Trump: Alright! We won! Line up on the left ladies, this is your Commander in Chief speaking. Suiting the action to the words
Grab 'em by the pussy! Grab 'em by the pussy! Grab 'em by the puss- Goddammit! This is a drag bar, isn't it?

A Faery Tale Wedding? Chapter 2

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Chapter Two: Thanks for the memories

Belinda clutched at her head as dizziness struck her. The world about her was fading, fading into a mass of blurred colours. Dimly through the haze she felt her knees strike soft turf as her legs gave way under her.

“Stefan, help!”

“It’s all right, I promise; this will be a memory coming back.”

No, this isn’t a memory, I can feel myself fading, going to another time, another place.

Belinda shut her eyes. Brian opened them.

April Schooled Chapter Four: Where Are You Going, Said Meet-On-The-Road ?

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Chapter Four: Where Are You Going, Said Meet-on-the-Road

A few hours later I was walking out of the school gates reflecting that life could definitely be worse. Maddy and I were becoming firm friends and I seemed to get on well enough with her immediate circle. I know I wasn’t at school to make friends but it was better than the alternative. Also it meant I didn’t have the added hurdle of trying to persuade Vincent to date a complete social outcast.

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