As soon as I said that I realized how stupid I was. For one thing you don’t say that if you are the only boy in a locker room filled with cheerleaders. And that was not even the most stupid part of it.

That was the title of blog by Penny Lane a couple of weeks ago. I made a comment about that and was more or less challenged by her to put my pen where my mouth is (did I get that wrong?). However, at the time I was too busy being immersed in the Finnish partitive to do something about it …

”It all started three weeks ago. Peter Kowalski complained about a D he had got on his Math test. I tried to explain to him that while he is smart and probably understands the material, he is sloppy and makes stupid mistakes. He retorted that he was a victim of gender discrimination. Of course I refuted that. The idea was preposterous. Then Mary, a bright but not very pretty girl backed me up, sort of. She claimed that I only favored girls with pretty legs in short skirts. I ignored such a wild unfounded accusation.

This is a paraquel to “Pawn …” as told by Dawn (Bill). (Since it isn’t prequel or a sequel it must be a paraquel)

At the beginning of my sophomore year I finally was ready to act. Perphaps not really ready but I had to do it this year. I had carefully researched the possibilities. This was the year to come out. Next year the conditions would be much worse.

I was ostracized for most of my junior year in high school.

It was all my sister’s fault. Well, perhaps not all of it but if she hadn’t forced me to save her bacon, twice, all this would never have happened, so I blame her, and only her for what happened.

I grew up in the Australian Outback. So, it wasn’t exactly beyond the Black stump and on second thought it wasn’t THAT far from the big city. So let’s say it was in the bush.

This story was inspired by Teek’s story by the same name.

Timmy was sitting on the school bus on his way to his Middle School. Next to him, Betty, his bestest friend in the whole world was prattling about her afternoon tryout for the cheerleading squad. Timmy wasn’t really listening. Timmy was no Tiny Tim. If not exactly bigger than all the other boys in his class, he was taller than most. And if he was lean what was there was mostly bones, sinews and muscles. He very much resembled his father and grandfather at his age. Grandfather had played pro football. Unfortunately he had to retire due to injuries after one season. Timmy’s father had been the big football hero in the high school Timmy was to attend in a few years. The father had gone on to play college football, though only for one year.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

My friends from middle school took advantage of my absence from high school the first days.

And now for something completely different. Actually, it was my latest story, Death in Venice Beach, that was something completely different. This is more the normal me; short, cute and twisted (I’m only 1.64 m tall).

UNETHICAL?

I was relieved when Larry and the head cheerleader drifted apart. I should have been concerned when Bob asked Larry for a date. The truth was that I was just too curious to see what would happen I just aided and abetted instead. Larry was even lovelier that night. They left and about a minute to midnight I heard Bob’s car drive up again. Of course I had prepared an unobtrusive view of the porch. Yes, there was a good-night kiss. Not a bad one. Really not a bad one.

I had expected Larry to get into trouble at the studio with his lilac tights. Just shows how clueless I am. The teacher loved that Larry wore lighter color tights. That allowed him to see better how Larry’s leg muscles worked. Black really isn’t a good color to wear in class but tell that to teen boys who already are body conscious. And, of course, the girls in his class loved it even more now that they got a better look at his quite nice legs. Good thing for Larry that he already had a girlfriend. Otherwise he’d have been under siege.

The next day the same three girls invaded the house once more. There was one addition this time. Peter, the geekiest geek imaginable and the closest thing to friend that Larry had had before, had joined them. Peter also wore the very short lilac pleated skirt. And I noticed he had shaved legs. Very recently, and not expertly, shaved legs by all signs.

I confess that I was worried when I sent Larry away to school for the first time in his new short lilac pleated skirt. I was concerned even if his big sister had confirmed everything he had said. Betty had the full inside story. It was really a senior social studies project. Bob, the captain of the baseball team had decided to write a paper on influencing and peer pressure. He had secretly roped in the rest of the team and some other to help him. Could he get the boys in the school to wear a short pleated lilac skirt?

When my youngest, Lawrence (or more usually Larry), began high school I was not surprised that he had problems. Not scholastically. Larry is a bright boy. No, the thing about Larry is that he is “odd”. I can’t describe it better than that since I haven’t been able to pin it down better myself. There is nothing tangible. He doesn’t look funny in any way. No big nose or limp or anything like that. He’s not a macho boy but in no way girly (even if some would characterize his love for ballet as girly, which anybody that had seen him on stage would know is a mistake). He’s just “odd”.

I blame it all on dad. He was a glutton. He ate himself to death.

I want to make some things perfectly clear.
First of all, I NEVER said I was a girl.
I was not girly in any way.
I wasn’t petite. I’m slightly above medium height (male).
I did not have long flowing golden locks. Not exactly short but certainly not long.
I was not a social outcast. Actually, I was quite popular in school and did honor list (though not potential Valedictorian) well in school.

With a title like this, it shouldn’t be a surprise that I was inspired by a recent blog post (Ecc. 1:9)

As in all single-sex schools the boarding school I went to faced the problem when setting up the annual school play that most plays usually have both male AND female parts.

I and the rest of us in Drama class waited for the Drama teacher to allocate the parts. I surreptitiously loosened my tie. I hated my school uniform and in particular that noose.

….
“and finally for the leading lady, the sexy seductress Veronica, I want Peter.”

This is not a contest entry.
I possibly could have worked in a New Year resolution but there is NO way I could fluff up this fluff to 2500 words. (Let’s see if I can make that stick THIS time.)

Last week I met my old friend Larry. He was in love. I suppressed an inner sigh. Larry often fell in love and then out again just as quickly. Always very chaste. He really was a 40-year-old virgin. He had very fixed ideas about the object of his love(s). One was that he never wanted to see them nude. And then he had this tendency to fall for the wrong ones.