Bob waited for me after Drama Club. He had two tickets to the premiere of the new Secret Sissy Spy film. Actually it was Secret Sissy Spy 3. Technically that film had had its Hollywood premiere already but this was the national cinema premiere. He had won the tickets in a call-in radio show.

“Why don’t you go there with your girlfriend?” and then I remembered that his latest girlfriend was history. Bob had quite a lot of history. Rather ironic since he got Ds in that subject.

“No, I just want to see an action movie with a friend that appreciates action movies.”

Well, I couldn’t argue about that. Personally, I just love acting. Too bad my body didn’t conform to the male actor ideal. Just a little bit over 5 feet, soft features and no matter what I did, I couldn’t build up muscles. Bummer! Our Drama teacher lamented that I was the best actor in the club but she couldn’t cast me in a part with meaning. She had tried to cast me as girl once but the girls had revolted even before I had had a chance to decline. Talking about the girls, many of them really were revolting. To be honest I was better looking than most of them. Since it didn’t change anything, I would still have been bullied as mercilessly, I kept my blonde hair long. I liked my hair. No, I didn’t really like the Drama club but since this was the only show in town …

The other reason I was well-qualified to have opinions about action movies is that my mother had won an Oscar. Oh, not for acting. She had won it for special effects. My mother had a rather jaundiced view of Hollywood so she preferred to live well away from that place and only go on set or location when she actually worked with a film. Given her reputation she was very picky and well paid so she could take long breaks between films. Another thing was that she mostly tried to shield me from that artificial world. She could not always do that since my father often worked away from home weeks in a stretch as well. So, yes, I had been to Hollywood. I had met some of the famous people. Not as glorious in real life. However, I was not a Hollywood brat, Thank God!

Still I hesitated to take up Bob’s offer. He and I had been friends since kindergarten and remained friends ever since even if not as close as we used to be. Difficult for a Drama geek and a football player. Besides, lately I have had a feeling that Bob wanted our relationship to deepen in another way. The way he shed girlfriends and the way he acted around me had started rumors to fly. I was not comfortable with that. Going to a premiere with these very sought after tickets that Bob had would only pour oil on the fire.

Bob saw my thinking and said “I promise. This is NOT a date. You can buy me a burger afterwards”. Bob looked rather hurt.

Since I didn’t want to hurt my old friend I accepted.

The film was great. I had expected the concept to have been fully milked after two films but having a cute little sissy boy as the Secret Sissy Spy (or SSS, pronounced with a sinister hissing) kicking ass with all kinds of unarmed combat styles as well as being an expert marksman with all kinds of weapons still worked. Cecil Jane (an obvious actor alias) was rather like me giving lie to my usual complaints about a boy like me never getting a chance. The studio kept the mystique around him. His real name was never revealed and he was never seen outside the studio. That really helped the films as well.

A bit into the film Bob asked “Have you met Cecil Jane and how is he?

“Yes, I have and he’s a rather decent guy. In reality he is somewhere between his Clark Kent act his superman act”. One of the features of SSS was that he appeared to be such a wimpy kid nobody suspected that he was a superspy.

SCHHH came from behind us.

I got really into the film. Late in the film Bob whispered to me “that was a really great scene”

“Oh, that’s nothing compared to the next one. That is the greatest one ever!”
“How can you know that?”

SCHHHHHH!!!

The scene really was the greatest ever. Mom had surpassed herself.

Coming out from the theatre Bob asked me “How could you know about that scene? Your mother never reveals anything about her films or her work to you. NDAs and all that.”

That really put me on the spot. “I was on the set when they filmed that.”
“You were actually there! Great! Did you do anything?”
I avoided that question by answering “Whenever my mother has to bring me to location my main task is to “Stay out of the way, kid!””

“Too bad, man”. And then he looked at me questioningly. That was something I really didn’t want him to do but before I could distract him he said

“You’re rather like Cecil Jane, same build, similar features and he is also blond” and then he looked closer at me. “Nah, now way you could have grown out your hair so much since the shooting of that film.

I breathed out relieved. Yes, I HAD been on set and for once I HAD done something. Luckily Bob was so concentrated on SSS (which sort of confirmed my suspicions about his sexuality) and not looking at the romantic love interest that SSS kept rescuing …