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The first day in my new High School started off well. The buildings were new, teachers actually interesting, the school turned out to have a great football team. I just love football. Not that I’ll ever play for the school being rather a ”petite” boy but you can always watch. I never missed a game at my old High School except that one time we gymnasts had an away competition at the same time. I had spent part of the lunch break looking at the football trophies and pictures of the team.
So everything was great until I had to go to the bathroom.
As soon as I got in I realized that I must have gone into the wrong one. There were four cheerleaders in uniform primping. As soon as they saw me they started commenting:
- Look the new kid!
- Look at those legs!
OK, so it was a hot day and maybe I should have worn longer shorts.
- And the graceful yet strong way he moves, we should try him out for the squad!
- He’s cute too!
Terribly embarrassed and bright red faced I made a hasty retreat and went into the other bathroom. I was relieved since there were two guys that I recognized as being part of the football team there. This time I had got it right!
The bigger of them turned to me and said in a deep gravelly voice:
- Not that you aren’t very cute and have got lovely legs but what are you doing in the girls’ bathroom?
Why did we have to move to North Carolina!
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Comments
hee hee
Unintended consequences
Is there a new contest?
Is there a new contest for making fun of North Carolina?
Not that I know of
but I admit that I was inspired by a recent story here.
As for NC it all goes back to their infamous "An Act to Provide for Single-sex Multiple Occupancy Bathroom and Changing Facilities in Schools and Public Agencies and to Create Statewide Consistency in Regulation of Employment and Public Accommodations" aka House Bill 2 or HB2. This stipulated that one had to use the bathroom according to the sex stated in one's birth certificate regardless of anything else. A change of sex in one's birth certificate is not elementary in NC and impossible in some states. Later modified by HB142.
Studying up on "our" laws for a reason?
Ah me pretty, you plan on moving across the pond to more open spaces? Or are you planning your next caper? I sent your data to the Alphabet Soup government bureaucrats so they can be on the look out for???
Just what exactly are you planning anyway? I don't think they took me seriously anyway. Over six hundred pages of descriptions of what one person may look like kinda took them off guard. Over one thousand photographs of same person who could be the abdominal snowman to every man's wet dream didn't help.
Special Agent Baker called me and said they appreciated all the help. I could hear laughing in the background when he hung up. See if I try and help out my own government next time! North Carolina huh? That's still a pretty big area for me to cover. Want to narrow it down a little more than that? Toss in a time frame while you're feeling generous? I hope your vanity gets you to cough up some info. I know you believe your million disguises will keep me from recognizing you.
Hugs, stay safe.
always
Barb
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Oklahoma, not NC is my second love among US states
That's because as a six-year old I went to the theatre for the first time in my life. No points for guessing the show.
However, by then I was already hooked on a card game my grandfather called Ohio.
And now for something completely different: You disappoint me. Only 600 pages? You should be able to do better! And - don't I have the cutest belly-button as the abdominal snowman?
Remind me to send Special Agent Baker an extra bonus this month.
So let the beating
commence?
Confused
Didn't see that one come LOL
Got me too
And I was looking for it.
Cheerleader
Hes got a chance now to get on the field during the game. Maybe even a chance to date a football star.
Time is the longest distance to your destination.
OOPS
I've a feeling the same thing would happen in Massachusetts if he started off in the girls' room and was seen.
He started out in the right bathroom
but this high school has at least six transgendered students. Apparently well integrated which shows that NC, or any other place, should not be judged as ONE collective. On the other hand stereotypes are SOOO fun to play with.
That's what I thought was going on
That's what I thought was going on, really the only thing it could have beeen.
Burly trans boys in the girl's bathroom, MtF cheerleaders in the boy's room.
Another fine addition to the bathroom genre of transgender fiction.
If these idiot laws keep getting passed it'll need its own tag...
~hugs, Veronica
.
(And speaking of stereotypes, this witty tale somehow inspired me to pen a drabble.
The stereotype in mine being the typical verbally abusive hard-ass football coach:
https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/75463/after-big-game )
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Tag
There is a tag, though perhaps not when the story was written.
Bathroom Foibles
Back...
Back to the old twisteroo.
-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)