Having to reveal my thoughts on transition to Saint Nicholas made me a little uncomfortable. I wondered secretly whether he even had the power to fulfill my desire. “Sir, it seems that my feeling that my body was of the wrong sex was prevalent even in my preteens. I suppressed those feelings thinking the it was not natural and a passing fad. As I reached my teen years and found that I would be different from my mates, I found myself questioning my masculinity."

"That's not what I meant," she countered. "I mean that you have to behave. You can't be tricky and get around the rules. Rules are rules, and if you don't watch out, they can really bite you in the butt. If you're going to be a girl and not get caught at it, you have to keep your nose clean, keep a low profile, and not draw attention to yourself. You might think that teachers and adults are old and stupid, but they ignore a lot of stuff. They let a lot slide. If you flaunt the rules, people will notice, and when they have their chance, they'll lower the boom on you. Do you get me?"