I closed the door after waving goodbye to Sue and Judy and returned to the dining room where I had been doing my prep. Mummy had laid a cheerful checked cloth on the table so all I had to do was put out place mats and lay out the cutlery. Auntie G kept the "dining-room cutlery"–as she called it–in one of the drawers of the Welsh dresser, so I went straight to it and opened the drawer, and sure enough, there were knives, forks and spoons for all occasions–many of them strange to me–but I was able to select what I thought was needed and laid up two places.

Having to reveal my thoughts on transition to Saint Nicholas made me a little uncomfortable. I wondered secretly whether he even had the power to fulfill my desire. “Sir, it seems that my feeling that my body was of the wrong sex was prevalent even in my preteens. I suppressed those feelings thinking the it was not natural and a passing fad. As I reached my teen years and found that I would be different from my mates, I found myself questioning my masculinity."