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Sorry for the drama, everyone.

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Sorry for the drama everyone. I'm okay, I'll be okay. Yeah, I probably made my life a thousand times more difficult, but somehow, I'll find a way through this. My feelings came out of exhaustion, hormones, and being an UN-medicated bipolar person with a life history that has produced a "failure tape" - a list of my mistakes that seems ready to play over and over again in my head at a moment's notice.

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My life as Dorothy is over

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Well, I've managed to screw my life up for the last time. I was driving home from work today and hit another car, doing serious damage to both vehicles. To make matters worse, I've been having troubles with payments on my car insurance, so I'm not sure I'm covered at the moment.

This just goes to show that it makes no difference if I'm Todd or Dorothy, I'm still a fuck up, and nothing will ever change that. So I'm going to throw everything away associated with Dorothy, and quit living in fantasy land.

Byes.

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Happy Birthday To Me

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Yes, well, erm, I've notched up another milestone on my journey through life. In years gone by, I'd be exactly half way through my allotted three score and ten, but with the way both longetivity and statutory minimum retirement ages keep rising, I might still be as fit as a fiddle and in work by then. I can but hope :)

So... thirty five years I've been on this planet (well, I will have been as of about 5:45pm tonight, as mum will frequently remind me at this time of year!) - here's to many more.

Cheers! :)

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Funny coincidence

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I'll start by saying I may have drawn the wrong conclusion here but it makes sense to me.

I was laying in the bath scrubbing my feet amused at how events completely unrelated to me being TG gave me a girl foot and a guy foot(yes I gave my feet genders!). I wear a size 6w (comfortable fit)and a size 9w(a bit on the tight side) U.S. sizes(yes, I buy 2 pairs of shoes every time) there is supposed to be something I can stick in the end of a bigger shoe for my girl foot but hell will freeze over before I make either of my feet look bigger then they are.

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Take that, all you tea sippers!

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Noticed a lot of tea-drinking in the stories lately. Well I'm gonna speak up for all us who are addicted to our cuppa joe. Found this on Gizmodo after hearing about it on the news.

Coffee Drinkers Live Longer

Millions of us start the morning with a coffee and think nothing of it. But new medical research suggests that it could be helping you live longer–if you drink enough of it.

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I may have saved a life last night.

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Last night while I was puttering around here I got a message that someone wanted to talk. Turned out it was a young woman who was feeling suicidal. Among other things, she was struggling with having been sexually abused at a very young age. She sounded quite serious about killing herself, saying she had a wire around her neck, and I desperately begged her not to do it. I used every argument I could think of, and got her to take off the wire. Eventually, she signed off to go to bed, so I can only hope she will seek some professional help. I hope I helped her.

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Having a late night writing session

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It's been a busy day, I started working on a new story that I have been wanting to post, lately I have been fighting with my muse and not feeling very inspired. So I decided to start working on something new and see if it would get my creative juices flowing again.

well 17 hours and 7 chapters later, i am sitting here and it's like 1:30am wondering where the time has gone.... can you say workaholic...lol

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METAMORPHOSE!!!!!

In this page Riley is having some lovely dreams of his past life, pity that life is about to become just a memory :).
Wait a few hours and then go check out the latest page of Wishful Thinking 2.0

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A different perspective on being a victim

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When I was 3, a teenage boy that was living in my uncle's house pulled down my underwear and ejaculated on me (though in my memory I remember it as him peeing on me, I think that's because at 3 that's the only liquid I thought came from there). At that moment I was a victim.

When I was 10, my cousin sexually molested me, causing me to perform oral sex on him, having him penetrate me anally, and finishing off with ejaculating in my mouth (which caused me to run out of the room, into the bathroom and vomiting). At that moment I was a victim.

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Those Damn Onions

Found this on PhotoBlip.com:

Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.

Today, someone else's tragedy provided the miracle my family had prayed for. Thanks to this stranger, my dad will have a heart. It's so odd to think that an accidental death just saved his life.

Much more can be found here: http://www.photoblip.com/pictures/34178/these-damn-onions.html

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Health update and an apology.

First of all. I am better. Whatever evil, mutated virus was attacking me seems to have given up most of the ghost. I say most because I am still having some after effects such as nose constantly running, multiple explosive sneezing, and a vague ache in my head and neck. I have been checked out by a doctor and he says that nothing is seriously wrong, just my general lack of anything resembling a healthy lifestyle, which probably led to the attack of the mutant virus in the first damn place.

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ZW politician blames women for HIV

You might want to move your keyboard out of the way so you can bang your head against your desk in desperation at this...

It's about what you'd expect from many African politicians - effectively putting the onus of the blame for the spread of HIV onto women (presumably under the impression that it's completely impossible for their menfolk to control their philandering ways).

The synopsis of what this latest politican to make a completely bonkers statement on the issue can be neatly summed up in this tweet:

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Health and Writing

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Since I am feeling better and my health seems to be on the plus side I wanted to let you all know that I am starting to get my strength back and getting back in shape. This is a good thing. I also lost about 20+ pounds thanks to the stones and their making me sick to my stomach. Good fun was had by none in that process, but I can live with the results at this end.

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A scholar posts his take on homosexuality and the bible

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/05/15/my-take-what-the-bi ble-really-says-about-homosexuality/?hpt=hp_c1

The fella in the post above seems to have a pretty good handle on the bible, and what it says and doesn't say. Not sure if it will make any difference in the current politcal bull crap though.

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Jumping on the posting merry go round!

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Does anyone else frets about the posting thing or is it just me? I, like us all, like having my story having some page time before falling off the bottom. I've found myself watching to see if a slow time shows up. It's like timing the merry go round so you can step on.

Should I post now? No, wait until after Bike. Is it time yet, hey here's a new one by Maggie. Got to read that one. Should I post now? No, let's wait for tomorrow. :)

So yes I finally got this one posted.
hugs
Grover

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Can't PM Admin, & we have an obvious spammer here,UPDATE

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Most of you have noticed already but the spammer spawning season is upon us.

PLEASE make sure your anti virus, malware dection and fire wall programs are up to date as I see the creeps are at it again.

John in Wauwatosa

UPDATE: Erin squashed the spammer. GO ERIN!

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Mixed day yesterday

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Well, yesterday was a bit of a mixed day. First, the good - I was pain-free, and that's a very good thing. Second, the bad. I had a nasty little flashback at work, so bad I felt like I couldnt breathe properly, and I was stuttering. Fortunately it didnt last too long, so I didnt miss any of my work. Last, the I-dont-know-what-to-think - I had a bit of an argument with my ex last night, and in the process learned that she understands perfectly what I'm doing, and thinks I'm crazy, but she shows no signs of keeping Sam from me.

Make of this what you will.

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If you are into such

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Found this on Boing-Boing, which sometimes has the darnedest stories. So if you are into such things, here's something that makes the guys cringe when they see it.

http://boingboing.net/2012/05/14/jagged-anti-boner-ring.html...

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044) Are you wearing a bra?

I was mulching with the Wrecking Crew again today. We were doing one of the owner's houses in town. Both of them actually have several houses... Er... well, this one was more of a mansion.

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The Family Girl #045: Reunited with my Sweater

The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #45:  Reunited with my Sweater, or Whatinheck's Wrong with the Weather!?!

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

Moe and I are back home and found our house to have been meticulously cleaned as only my ma is capable of.   Kitchen, living room, bathrooms all spic n span, and bed clothes nice n crisp n clean (I know ma did the wash coz the sheets smell faintly of Huggies), front n back yards clean and well raked (probably Dad) and a note on the living room table saying that two of the microwavable "Friends" mugs got broken (Aha! That's my sister!).

Anyway, the at-home feeling came back slowly and we settled in.   But what didn't come back was how the weather felt.   Egads, it's cold!!

So Moe n I broke out a couple of our long-unused sweaters, and made plans to pick a nice n wooly sweater ensemble for work the following day.   But why was it so friggin cold all of a sudden?   I checked the thermometer. It was a nice eighty degrees. Eh?

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Lost my zeal, where can I buy more

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For a lark, I went on Fictionmania and looked up my first story. I didn't read it, but I read the comments. I had written something magical, that had really touched people, and it made me feel good about myself that I could connect with people.

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I'm a monster?

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Got called a "monster" by some kids at Sam's school today, and a kid was told, "Look out, its headed your way."

I have no idea where this came from, or what I could have possibly done to deserve that, but it kinda hurt.

Ah, well.

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I'm embarrassed to be asking for help finding a story ...

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again.

About 3 years ago I asked for help finding this story, and must have just read it, but not saved it.

The protagonist is at a private school for boys at the start, and is asked to sing with a well known orchestra ... as a girl.

'She' is a hit and goes on to national, ( world?) renown.

It turns out she is intersexed and marries her one time roommate.

She also takes down a professor who was taking credit for work his students had done, and she exposes him.

Help, please?

Holly

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Inspiration

Like quite a few people yesterday, I was feeling quite down and out of it. I still am in fact...

But last night I managed a bit of inspiration as often happens when I'm feeling ick.

N-E-Ways, since today is/was Mommy's day I decided to make this...
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A busy weekend so far

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Well, my weekend has been pretty full so far. First, on Saturday morning at work, I pulled my knee and spent the last hour or so basically doing my job on one leg. Its not hurting now, but its a reminder that one day, and probably sooner than I would like, I'll be either disabled or looking for another job, or both ....

Then Saturday evening I had the dinner for my mom and ex in celebration of Mother's day. Went okay, except having my mom use the male pronoun stung ....

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The Depression

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This is basically more of an explanation than a rant.

I have shut down. I barely read (that is when I know I am really down), I don't write or do electronics. I do my electronics forum moderation duties, but that is a duty, not just pleasure.

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Looking for someone to take on 'Ken & Barbie Virus'

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Hi,

I put up the story for adoption as the muse walked.

As far as I can remember I was planning to turn it into a series of short vignettes about how the virus affected people. It would be set against the background of the world government - encouraging - the changed to colonize out space for them.

In other words getting these new superior oversexed beings off the planet.

To another great MOM:)

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That's our Erin here at BCTS.

You really do fit the mold y'know.
You guide and encourage us.
You're that Mom that has the home all the kids in the neighborhood are welcome at.
You scold us when we need it.
You make peace between us when we need it.
You have good recipes.
You tell great stories.
And you have made so many of us here a family, some the only family we have even.

Thank You Erin.
Happy Mothers Day.

*Grateful Hugs*
Bailey.

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Disability in TG fiction revisited....

Well dear readers, this ragtime gal goofed...I tried to post this earlier, but a glitch caused my entry to post twice (those troublesome Babbage engines will do that if not properly oiled....) In my attempt to delete one of the copies, I deleted both, so I had to repost. If you had commented before my abrupt deletion, I apologize...Rachel

Not long ago, while re-reading my introductory blog post about the need for more disabled TG characters, I was reminded of a book I read which was as far removed from the subject of TG fiction as one could be. Nonetheless, it provided what I consider to be a most intriguing idea.

The book was a series of profiles of influential disabled people--one of whom, a cerebral-palsied individual named Bernard Carabello, had spent his childhood in Willowbrook, a notorious institution for the developmentally disabled in upstate New York. His account of his years there was more chilling than the darkest Gothic horror--untended children sitting in their own filth; children restrained for torturously long periods; children poorly and hastily fed by an overworked staff, as well as poorly clothed. These unspeakably awful conditions were first brought to the public's attention in the early '70s by a young investigative reporter named Geraldo Rivera. His findings led to the eventual closing of said institution in 1973. (This turned out to be wrong. Incredibly, it stayed open until 1987.)

One particular passage of the chapter on Carabello and Willowbrook caught my attention immediately, and set the idea machinery in motion. The Willowbrook staff, it seemed, had an unusual method for distributing the clothing donated by charities to the institution--they would throw it into a pile, and the kids who could dress themselves would grab what items they could. Whatever they got they were stuck with, whether it fit or not, whether it was appropriate for the time of year or not.

You can, no doubt, already sense where this is going--it doesn't take much of a leap of the imagination to picture one child who happens to be fascinated with a pretty dress at the top of that pile. The child grabs it, puts it on, and proudly displays it to the staff.

The problem is, the child is a boy.

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Emergency! JadenSkywalker8

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Can anyone contact, phone, text, IM Jaden? See er Blog: I'm about at my limit 5-12-12 2:57pm.

E sounds clinically depressed. E might be getting close to irrational. One can not count on appealing to er reason, faith, charity, love, family, etc.

E needs to call er parents and go to a hospital emergency room or similar! Talking might help, but OTOH it might not. I think E needs to be with people who can physically stop er from hurting erself, taking those pills, etc. E also needs to see a psychiatrist ASAP.

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Can't remember name of story

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I'm looking for a story on BC that I read a while ago and would like to read again, only I can't remember its name. A group of friends playing a rolpaying game end up in the game as the characters they where RPing. Can someone please tell me it's name?

P.S. Feel free to delete this after someones given it to me, I'll post a reply to say thanks.

To the Mother of my Heart, on Mothers Day

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My bio Mother passed away 13 years ago and i do miss her, but when i came here i met a wonderful, loving, giving woman who adopted me and took me into her loving heart. Andrea Lena DiMaggio is Mother to myself, Diana Michelle Howe and two other loving girls, Aunt to others and Sister to many. But to me, the very new girl that i am, she is my Mommy and i love her with all my heart.

This is the first time i can say to her, Happy Mothers Day.

Happy Mothers Day

Love Always, Diana Michelle

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I'm about at my limit

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I don't know why I'm still alive anymore, I realized I just don't care anymore on my birthday two weeks ago when my family came down to see me for my birthday and I felt nothing. If I don't get a callback from a therapist by Tuesday evening I think I'm done.

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An Interview with the Author

Seeing as I act as agent of sorts for Koz's stories, we put together a Q&A about the story he just had me post, The Ghost of the Summer of 85'.

Q: Koz, what can you tell us about your story 'The Ghost of the Summer of 85'

A: It was one of the earliest FTM crossdressing stories I ever wrote. I was still in a mode of trying, rather unsuccessfully, to write your bog standard crossdressing story about guys in panties, bras, and dresses. Nothing ever seemed to work, so I started writing FTM fiction which brought one of my greatest fantasies to life.

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Mother's day sexual stereotypes

Well, tomorrow is Mother's day, and my store has been pushing hard for sales, but looking at all the pink signs pointing out discounts on home appliances, weepy movies, and flowery perfumes got me wondering.

What if you had a mom who didnt fit the nice neat little stereotype? What if your mom would prefer to watch an action film than a three-hankie weepie? What if she's more comfortable with power tools than with knitting needles? Do those types of moms get left behind?

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R.I.P. Tori

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I found out just last night that my cousin, Tori Nikol Swoape, took her own life on Monday, May 7th 2012. She was only 15 years old. I know I haven't posted anything in a while. While I am working on new material, this turn of events has derailed all of that. Please bear with me while my family and I mourn our loss.

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The Family Girl #044: Flying Around

The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #44: Flying Around

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

To anyone who's read my random conglomerations of words here before, they probably know I've been shuttling back and forth on planes between work assignments for some time now.   Used to be there was novelty in flying. Now, its pretty much like going on a long trip in a bus.   And the airport inspections in DC? Grrr...  

Anyway, Moe n I are flying home tomorrow morning for our scheduled two weeks.   It'll be good to go home of course, but I all I can think about right now is the hassle of it all.   I've done this so often now, I sometimes think I can do this without the airplane anymore...

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Wild Magic change

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Until further notice, I have to change Wild Magic to once a week (So what's new? Argh!) I'm just too busay with medical issues and working with my kids on schoolwork and transportation issues. I hate having 5 teenagers sometimes! Sorry! The next one's almost done, hoping to post it in tne morning.

Wren

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TRUE LOVE

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TRUE LOVE
Like the rain in the desert you watered
of faith my heart, drowned my fears
Like a sweet voice in the silence
So we got love, "True Love"

And so I was waiting to you daily
Without law, without a schedule
And so I went awakening
In every dream where were you?

And no one was looking for, and nobody planned it that way
It was the destiny, that you were for me
And no one will bet, that it would be so happy
But Cupid took pity on me

I love you because the person who am I when I am with you

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Feeling a tad grumpy today

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well, today isnt a bad day so far, but I'm feeling a tad grumpy, and I'm not really sure why. Its not one of my black dog days, where I have to fight off feeling like a worthless failure. Its not even one of those days where I feel like a fake, that I will never be a "real" woman no matter what I do. Its just a blech day, and I guess those happen sometimes.

Ah, well.

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Bike 1700 - delay

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Sorry but I don't feel 100% tonight, my hands are very painful and I'm finding it difficult to concentrate, so I'm opting for an early night. I hope to finish it tomorrow. I think I might have to go and see my GP sometime as this arthritis is becoming a real nuisance - I can't even turn a door-knob with my left hand at present.

Angharad.

05Dolce_Red_l_0.jpg

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Off the deep end.

DR There are several side effects, you need to be aware of before you proceed with making your choice.

Dr 1] There is a good chance that this operation will not solve the pain problem you are having I have had several clients / patient's who only had a moderate decrease in the discomfort and pain. Some have gotten worse.

Me You have got to be kidding I have been walking around with a golf ball sized ball in my pants for 2 years now do you think think is not a pain you do not know pain.

Dr 2] You will likely not be able to effect an erection.

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requiem for a dream

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I forgot who said this "without purpose there is no life". I would like to add 'and dreams'. Just 'buried' one in the past week. Not accepted it but lost hope in every getting it fulfilled due to several different reasons.

Made my head 'misfire' a few times this week and am extremely tired. >sigh<

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Increase in Hatbox Amount Request

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What with vet and doctor bills, repairs to the house and other expenses, I just had to borrow $800 to pay this month's bills. Accordingly, I've increased the amount I'm asking in the Hatbox because, quite frankly, the time I spend running the site could be spent doing something that would earn money. Expenses on the site have gone up also, since running websites and servers is Piper's actual job, I feel I have to pay her at least some for the time she spends working on the site and the servers as well.

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Transgender A.U. student leader finds acceptance

Sarah McBride says she loves politics and loves her home state of Delaware.

A native of Wilmington, McBride, 21, has been active in Delaware politics since the age of 13 and worked on the 2008 election campaign of Gov. Jack Markell (D). When Markell won the Democratic primary in September 2008, he and his wife Carla invited McBride to introduce the future governor on the stage where he delivered his victory speech.

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FBI grabs server, then returns, internet privacy violated?

http://redtape.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/11/11647813-the-f...

This is plain weird and a bit scary too. The FBI siezed a server dedicated to helping create a safe, anonymous communication environment for folks in other countries seeking a better life, according to the owners of the server. See what you think? Are they right to suspect the returned server has been interferred with or are they paranoid? Should they be able to take the server through the claim of national security or terrorism?

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Having one of those days

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Have you ever had one of those dreams, where you had everything you ever wanted and were truly happy. I had one of those last night, maybe it brought on by pain medication that I took before bed who knows but when I woke up I felt cheated and couldn't help but be upset, I tried going back to bed hoping that it would continue but that rarely happens.

I have never really been truly happy, most of the time I just try to get by and not think about the fact that I should have never been born this way. I have known all of my life that I was different at least inside, I was different.

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Interesting Article - Coming out To Family

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Interesting article with links to a blog:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sarah-mcbride/the-real-me_b_15...

Portia

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Quick Question

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I went to a transgender support group the other day (Tuesday) which is a good step for me. It was the second group I've attended and this one is somewhat close to my house.

An interesting comment came up, even though no one made an issue about it, and it got me thinking.

Does one need to dress in female clothing to be considered Trans? I myself only own one dress and two bras and have yet to have opportunity or desire to wear the dress out (partly because of a hairy back... okay, mainly because of a hairy back)

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The DRU Triumvirate

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Its come to my attention as of late that I'm finding it harder and harder to run this universe on my own. The DRU is getting bigger by the day and as one person I can't keep track of everything---new authors, new ideas---so I've decided to ask for help. Maggie Finson and Donjo have graciously agreed to help take some of the burden off my shoulders.

I'm currently calling it our Triumvirate LOL :)

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To The "family"

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Life Hurts

I Hurt. My best friend Tracy died yesterday at her own hand. She was bullied by fellow TS's. She overdosed on pills. She was alone. Truly alone. Homeless and alone. Why? Why was she alone? wHY cOULD NOONE Help????

WE Must Help. We must care. Small wins mean nothing if we don't care.

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Life imitates Art

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The link tells it most of everything you need to know about it, except for the fact that the Girl mentioned is a fifteen year old on her high school baseball team.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/10/phoenix-school-forfeits...

This is one of the tings I have considered about my story Baseball Rose, how other schools would react to Melanie and Jay on the team. Apparently my thoughts on the subject, which would have come out later, were not too far off.

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Showing one's real face, {pic included in this entry}

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I have decided to upload and display my ugly kisser for your entertainment and/or enlightenment. I feel safe and secure in doing so, since I am comfortable with my position on the "transition trail grid" and do not feel the immediate need to progress further until and unless financial considerations permit me to do so.

I recently turned 65 and I don't think I look too bad considering that. At least not bad enough to frighten the children and horses. *giggle*

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Story Post Limit

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I know everyone loves putting up stories and getting comments and input. But with over 12 new stories available a night that always leaves other author's stuff to be further pushed down the page and possibly unread. I have talked to Erin about this, but wonder what others think; I wonder, in the sake of fairness, we limit postings of new stories to one per day per author. This would allow others to stay near the top of the page longer and give readers time to get acquainted to lesser known authors.

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Choices

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Every day, I'm faced with choices. Some are trivial, some could be life-altering. Sometimes, I can see the right choice without much problem, and others I really struggle with trying to figure out what to do.

One choice I'm dealing with right now has to do with my plans for mother's day. See, my ex, my mom, my daughter, and my brother and sister-in-law are going to a restaurant, and of course I'm going to.

But the question I've been dealing with is this: What the heck do I wear?

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An offer to my readers.

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This is something new at this site and if Erin doesn't veto it, well someone has to break new ground at times, right?

For those of you following 'The Price of Betrayal'...

The clues are all there in the story, okay maybe there is one thing I haven't given out yet, but that doesn't matter here.

But all the important stuff has a solution and I've told you all what they are in the story up to this point.

Now...

If you find them.

The first person to PM me with the whole shebang, who has actually figured this one out, gets a custom made story from me made to what you want.

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More Wishful Thinking

Well, in a few hours Wishful Thinking page 4 is going up, this marks the last time we will see male Riley, well sort of, I am delighted to see that this comic has become quite popular and I want to thank everyone of you for showing support for us, I believe a speak for CrystalAsh and Michelous in this also.

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President Obama Declares Support for Gay Marriage

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http://dyn.politico.com/printstory.cfm?uuid=7CB3043A-3C9F-4D...

Obama backs gay marriage
By: Jennifer Epstein
May 9, 2012 11:03 AM EDT

For President Barack Obama and his top political advisers, the decision to back gay marriage came down to a choice between two unpalatable alternatives: support it and brave the backlash in battleground states where the issue could be a liability – or keep silent and be accused by allies of gutlessness and putting politics over his principle.

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I should flirt more?

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I got one strange piece of advice from my councilor yesterday, and that was that I should flirt with people - not in a "I'd like to date you" kind of way, but be friendly and complimentary and social. I'm not entirely sure I know how to "flirt" causally as a male would, much less how a woman does it, so it could be interesting ...

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Tom Gabel of Against Me! Comes Out as Transgender-Who is He?

Tom Gabel of Against Me! Comes Out as Transgender

I thought this might interest some of you folks. However, his (her) name means nothing to me. I haven't a clue about his person, their group or their music

RAMI

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20594075,00.html?ici...

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Columbus Area Therapists

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Has anyone heard of these

Smithies, Christine

52C W 5th Ave
Columbus , OH 43201
(614) 294-1751
County: Franklin

White, Angela

2 Easton Oval Ste 450
Columbus , OH 43219
(614) 475-9500
County: Franklin

Johnston, Lynne

5701 N High St Ste 208
Worthington , OH 43085
(614) 436-0444
County: Franklin

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So you know RE: Through the years

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I am working on the next few installments of Through the years, but I had a thought for a plot idea and have been looking up information and working though the thoughts and possibilities of that plot and the possible outcomes.

So I will try to look over what is ready and send it off for editing when I get the chance and hopefully I can decide on how I will proceed.

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Our own worst enemies....

Yes, I know. Your ragtime gal has never been the best blog-keeper--the detritus of three different blogs on the net, begun but not maintained by yours truly, attests to that. I believe, however, that in this circumstance I have a passable excuse.

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Eventually

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I would like post more here eventually but, I am trying to write some fantasy that I can't seem to get right(sadly). Its a story I would really like to share so I am going to be deleting, rewriting, and hitting my head against the wall till I can write without ruining it. It will probably be awhile because I have a long way to go.

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Tomorrow is another day

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Tomorrow starts the first day of my eighth decade. I'll celebrate by going to Fort Smith to visit a manufacturer of farm equipment. I'm not sure where I'll eat lunch. In the afternoon, I'll visit an advanced care organization that is surrounded by a hospital - nice people. They take care of post operative patients and patients recovering from serious illnesses. As far as celebrating goes, I'm not much for it. Maybe I'll celebrate if I make it through the next three decades with my mind and senses intact; so far so good.

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Bad mood

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I find myself in a VERY bad mood. So much so that I am actively angry but have no cause for it or direction. I am trying hard to not lash out at anything and I am on the edge of screaming should someone provoke me.

I hate these moods as they come on for no reason except that it is also carrying a definate element of fear.

Since I automatically disassociate and reassociate things the cause could have started very early in the day and only hit me now.

I am contiplating putting on some leather gloves and actually breaking things. Old tvs, some walls in house, fence outside.

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Credit card recommendations?

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Can anyone recommend a credit card company that will let you sign up with your legal (male) identity and billing address but issue that same person a (second) credit card with their female name? I'd like to be able to buy stuff while I'm out en femme without dealing solely in cash and without having awkward questions about the obviously male name on my current card. My current credit card's web site will let me request additional cards, but they want a social security number for each one, so I thought I'd ask here first in case anyone has advice.

Many thanks!

-- Michelle

The end of days is coming!!!

Stay a while and listen...
So for those of you who don't know In round about a week from now ( 6 days and nine hours, but who's counting?) "Diablo 3" is being released.

Aside from the normal hell and the destruction of Tristem (Again) it would release the Doom days curse on the world ( and in Doom I mean the game not the "end of all life" and the likes): A drop in human productivity . In my group alone there are 6 people who hold prime jobs in major companies who took a week off for the sake of helping man-kind fight against the forces of hell.

so my questions to you are:

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Boundaries

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I had my session with my rape councilor today, and among other things we talked about boundaries. Its something I struggle with, tending to go back into passive-aggressive rather than state my needs and wants clearly.

But, bit by bit, I'm getting stronger and more confident, and I hope to continue my growth in this area.

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Another Freebie on promotion.... Queen of Hearts

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I'm just too good to people...my novel - Queen of Hearts is on a Promotion today (May 8th) and tomorrow with Amazon Kindle Select.

Queen of Hearts
Find it here > Queen of Hearts

Grab it while you can.

Honest, I don't mind if you forget and have to pay for it :)

Tanya

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Where Angels fear to tread or my life is a Monty Python #2

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Where Angels fear to tread or my life is a Monty Python skit.

To all who took the time to read my first blog Thanks, I have just decided to move from my old Novawoman99 ID to a newer more up dated one suggested by a dear friend and writer on this board so now I will Be Drum roll cymbals crash. Misha Nova. Its about time the Novawoman99 name was created to describe my self when I had just gained enough momentum to go Full time at work and therefor the world.

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I Think Someone Stole My Book!

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So, I have been slaving away for years, secretly writing a romance novel. When I write, sometimes I really get into the story and actually try to live it, mostly to write the realisim. Sometimes I worked so hard that the windows in my office would fog up, depriving me of view of, harbor with huge plastic boat sitting in it. Or maybe I was sitting in steaming tub with rubber ducky and writing with laptop? Man, I got the good stuff this time! Woooeeeee!

So, I called the book "50 Shades", goodness those are a lot of sunglasses to carry around.

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A little Spanglish for my brother this morning

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Sing to the tune of "Desperado":

Desayuno,  ¿por qué no vienes a nuestras mesas?
You've been visiting other places
Son casi diez.
 ¡Ay, haces tan frio!
You don't have any more pancakes.
Me gustan aquellos tanto.
 ¿No hacer má¡s puedes?

Con abrazos,
Erin

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I have been very sick...update

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I have begun to feel a bit better, but am still down with this whatever-it-is. I've been to the VA health clinic and have gotten some anti-biotics which will, I hope, kick this thing in the ass and get me feeling better.

I thought to post this to update anyone who might have been concerned about me. Thanks for caring.

hugs and love,
Cathy

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I ... fit

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I had a spiritual moment today on my way home from watching "The Avengers". All of a sudden, I felt .... connected to everything around me. That me being trans isnt a mistake or sin but exactly what I'm supposed to be at this moment. I cant do justice to it, but it was amazing, and comforting.

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Forgiveness, Another Talmuld Torah

Recently, two events have occurred that I note forgiveness is important:

1. I went to the CANDLES (Children of Auschwitz Nazi Deadly Lab Experiments Survivors) Museum in Terre Haute, Indiana. I learned three things. I mention one that is important to this Forum blog.

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