I understand that my body is changing. I did not ask for it to change, it is happening anyways. My testosterone levels have been dropping for about ten years now (I'll be 57 in 2 months) and that is normal. But since my wife died 7 years ago I have not slept well. I usually get 3-5 hrs of sleep, in the past few months it's more like 3-6 hrs. Rarely do I sleep more than 6 hrs. I recently investigated the causes of low testosterone in men and found that age 40+ the levels decrease, this is natural.

This will be my last post as OddPOV. I am updating my user name to match my new self, it will be some variation of Wendy. We tell our loved ones we don't change to comfort them with our new selves. The core remains, the soul if you will, but the fact is we do change, a lot. I have.

What happened was that a long time ago someone on this site told me they had xbox live as well so I invited them to play with me and my friends. Things were normal for a while, one of my best friends has 2 friends he grew up with that don't like me because of my aspergers. Well I invited this person to join me and my friend Justin. Well since Justin's friends mike and Justin didn't like me I understood Justin not inviting me to the group but not the person on this site.

I had given up on my previous endocrinologist, with good riddance. Two of the three visits I made to her office I left feeling pretty bad about myself, and I was already pretty low. Anyone that has been tracking my blogs know that I was pretty near to giving up on life.

So, i went out yesterday for lunch with my sister and some friends who were in town for the day. i have been trying to venture out as myself more and more. even when dressed down, i'm starting to get recognized for who i am and it's gladdening. my point is, even though i'm sure i gave some of the people some interesting dinner table conversation, everyone around were unceasingly polite and in most cases, downright friendly. This makes me feel good, however, i do feel sad for others like myself in the world who aren't as lucky as i am.

I am a Desert Shield/Storm Veteran. During the war I was a Field Artillery Surveyor in the 1st Infantry Division. As such, I directly participated in the liberation of Kuwait from Iraq. This also means that I actually witnessed the results of what happened on the "Road of Death". This is the main road between Kuwait City and the Iraq border. Needless to say, the sights were not very pretty (I actually stepped on brain matter). For years now, I have been having difficulties so, I finally forced myself to go to the V.A. Medical Center in Bedford MA.

The past few days have not been my best. About the only thing good to say (okay, maybe not only... but, you'll see...) is I lost a few pounds cause I wasn't eating much.