I had given up on my previous endocrinologist, with good riddance. Two of the three visits I made to her office I left feeling pretty bad about myself, and I was already pretty low. Anyone that has been tracking my blogs know that I was pretty near to giving up on life.

So, following the advice of my gender therapist, I went with another doc. This one has a excellent reputation for being extremely up beat. So I scheduled an appointment, and made it day before yesterday. He is every bit the sweetheart my friends said he was, I think he understands the real misery a lot of us are going through. He treats MtF like girls, it is very effective, even charming.

I had stayed up for long hours due to the therapist and doc, so I held up a day until I could get the dosages sorted, and bought a AM/PM pill dispenser. The only thing I seem to be willing to do different that a lot of other t-girls is patience. I want to do this right the first time.

I'm still in full male mode, though I have tried dressing en fem. This is slowly changing, and I am still struggling to loosing the weight. I was down to 185 pounds (from 240), but with the cold weather (Jenn C mentioned it in her blog) has kept me from long walks, so I have gained a few pounds. It is odd, I used to be pretty cold weather resistant, but with weight loss I have become a real wimp. I am always freezing.

Having made the decision that I was close enough (and I am not going to stop loosing the weight, this is a temporary setback) a funny thing happened. I have been depressed for over 10 years, I woke up a couple of days ago and it was gone. It felt very strange, but it was great! I have lost the giddy feeling, but I still haven't gone back. So far so good!

The current blend I will (am) taking is the standard spiro (100mg/dose) twice a day, estradiol (2mg/dose) twice a day, progesterone (10mg) once a day, and finasteride (5 mg) once a day. I'm throwing in 1000 IU of vitamin D-3 for good measure, and I will probably add one a day woman's vitamins.

Looks like I might finally get to grow a pair. :D Unfortunately, my mom was fairly small breasted, so I will just have to wait to see where it goes. Still...

I'll give it a few months at work. I am out to a lot of people already, about 25%. No bad experiences yet (some confusion), but I don't expect it to last (this being Texas). The other side is, having heard advice and horror stories from the other girls in my support group, I had come out to HR early. This seems to be one of my better decisions, they have had a diversity training class spelling out what is not acceptable (and what is). What are the odds a workplace like mine would have two trans coming out nearly the same time? It is like winning the lottery.

I don't remember if I mentioned this story. A newly hired girl was presenting as male, I thought I recognized the signs, so I asked her if she had heard of GEAR (the local Dallas trans support group) and Dallas Resource Center (the LGBt allience). She reluctantly admitted she had. "Well," I said, "looks like we have something in common. I'm trans too." He and I have been very close ever since, kind of our own personal support group at work. I've said this before, but life is strange sometimes.