new essay up!

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/107499/origins-5-bend...

I wanted to pass on a few updates:

My brother is doing better thanks to the pacemaker, but is still having breathing issues that we don't know the cause of.

My ex is taking her near-death experience seriously, and has started to look for a cheaper place that Sam could have going forward, but she is showing signs of a deep paranoia that is quite worrisome.

As for me, I've been trying to do a deep dive into understanding my manic phase, but I still got a lot of work to do.

So today is my birthday if you want to get me a gift, go to my story page, read one of my stories, and leave a comment.

If you need it, here is the link: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/18155/dorothy-colleen

Got a new essay up.

please read, like, and leave a comment

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/107180/three-pillars

Okay, so something happened last night I have to talk about, even though I don't know if I have the right words.

I had gotten up to go to the bathroom, and when I returned, I laid on my stomach, and for some reason, bent my knees so my feet were in the air.

And then, out of nowhere, this image came into my head of a beautiful woman, in the same position I was, also naked, and my perspective of this was like a camera passing over her, and I thought of a director including this shot in a movie because while she was nude, you don't see anything naughty from the camera angle.

Join Dottie as she plays detective on a 5,000 year old murder case!

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/107032/law-and-order-...

talked my mom into coming with me to church, and several people there made a point of telling her how kind and giving I was, and she would top them by saying how much I do for her and my family.

I blushed like crazy the whole time . . .

Sharon just called me to tell me she has lost her job. Sighs, just when we were starting to feel hopeful about Mike, we get a new problem to replace him . . .

twice today my right leg buckled.

This wasn't a dislocation, just a moment where it seemed like it wasn't going to support my weight.

soon as I can, I will be calling my doctor, and meanwhile, all hugs and prayers accepted.

So last night, i had 2 very different dreams.

In the first, I was back in college, and was approached to take a seat on the Student Court as one of the judges. I told the person asking me that I was concerned about my grades, since I had struggled the previous semester, but I really didn't want to become that visible, as I had apparently planned to begin dealing with my gender issues by feminizing my appearance slowly.

So my brother now has a pacemaker, and so far, so good.

He might be able to come home tomorrow

Thank you to everyone who sent messages of support and hugs

So, last night I dreamed I was shopping at West Edmonton Mall, and I found a beautiful shorts and top set.

I tried it on, looked in the dressing room mirror, and it was like the clothes had utterly transformed me.

I was . . . beautiful.

I was so happy, I rushed out, paid for the outfit, and wondered the mall, having to stop myself from going up to complete strangers and asking how I looked.

That was just about the best dream I could have had right now.

I just wish I could feel like that in real life a little more often . . .

Been a rough couple of days, struggling with PTSD, Dysphoria, and worrying about my family as my mom has been struggling lately, and we still don't know what is going on with my brother.

Anyway, I am accepting hugs and prayers, if you want to send them my way.

I found out today that my brother will have a pacemaker implanted in 6 weeks. Despite this, my sister doesn't seem very optimistic, and told me she got a black dress in case she needs to hold his funeral.