Just to give you all an update, I paid half of the ticket I got for my expired tags and lack of a pink card, as well as getting both updated. To help me remember in the future, I arranged to get an email reminder about a month before my stuff expires next year.
I also got both my laundry and Sharon and Sams laundry done, so I am slowly catching up on the things I couldnt do until I got the car stuff taken care of.
While this is an expensive lesson, I am still upright, still able to drive, and best of all, I am still loved.
Every time I think I have made progress; I manage to screw up and put myself back at square one.
Yesterday's bit of self-sabotage came in the form of a police car stopping me and letting me know I had not renewed my license plates in July. To make things worse, my car insurance company no longer sends out paper versions of my coverage, and because I had never taken the time to go to the library and print out the information, all I had in the car was expired versions.
Ever since I realized that I can hurt myself during my manic phase and not know it, I have trying to think of ways I can counter this.
Right now, the only idea I have is to try and take a moment every so often and visually check for any new bruises, cuts, or scratches, as well as any signs of joint issues.
Not going to be easy, since one of the main signs of my manic phase is the difficulty of focusing, but I have to try.
All encouragement, hugs, and any suggestions, appreciated.
many years ago, a man named Alvin Toffler wrote a book where he argued that the rate of technological change was going so fast, people could no longer adapt, and were suffering a form of culture shock, or as he put it Future Shock.
Since the book came out, the rate of technological change has only increased, and the effects have only gotten worse.
I believe this is one reason for the increase in popularity of movements that wish to slow, stop, or even reverse some of those changes.
so, I found out something interesting yesterday. I had spent a good part of the day walking, and to my delight my joints were not bothering me despite the cooling temperatures.
I assumed it was because of the weight I had lost, but last night, as my manic phase eased, the pain came back.
It makes sense, my manic phase is a lot like being drunk or being high, both known for blocking pain, I had just never made the connection before.
so reading the pundits take on the American election, the general takeaway is that Kama losing was trans people's fault.
Apparently, we are such a threat to the wellbeing of the US that because she didn't join the Republicans in declaring us subhuman was the difference.
This would worry me a little less if this wasn't the overall opinion of Republican and Democrat pundits, which means I fully expect the Democrats to throw us under the bus.
Okay, so last night I dreamed I was back in school, and we were going to be taught ballroom dancing.
But when it came time to partner up, I was left without one, and I got so angry at the realization I was never going to be anybody's choice, I yelled at the teacher, and then took a table that was bolted to the floor, ripped it out, and threw it, Hulk style.
Still accepting all hugs, prayers, and comments of support.
So today when my brother came over, he told us he has been dealing with serious blockage in his heart, to the point they have given him a nitro pen to inject himself with if needed.
so, two things happened to me last night. the first was I had a dream where I was trying to get back to my apartment, and somehow kept ending up on the wrong floor.
Second was I woke up, my clock said it was 8, and for a second, I couldn't figure out if it was 8 AM or PM.
It could be worse, but a little confusion isnt a fun way to start the day.
The provincial government apparently announced that it will no longer cover SRS.
Now, this won't affect me directly, as my health isnt good enough for the surgery, but I feel for any Albertans who were hoping to get it.
But that's not the worst of it. The ruling party is having a convention right now, and one of the ideas being debated is bringing in a bathroom bill, basically banning someone like me from the using the lady's room.
Okay so for some reason I have noticed a change in my dreams, in terms of where they take place.
See a lot of my dreams have taken place at or near my old high school in Calgary, but lately, I have been having dreams set on my grandparent's farm, which was just north of a little town called Redwater, which was itself just north of Edmonton. I dont know if this means anything, but it is kind of interesting.
there has not been an official announcement of the winners of the caption contest. I know I didnt win, but maybe there should be a shout out to the ones who did?
Since yesterday was my laundry day, and most of my non-winter pants were already in my laundry basket, I pulled out a skirt, and because it was a bit cool, I also put on a pair of pantyhose.
Now, despite what my friend Jaci says about me being a girly girl, I do this far less often than you might think, but yesterday I found myself wondering why that is.
So I went swimming today, and while in the pool, I found myself thinking about 2 moments from my childhood.
The first involved a time when I was high school, I was curious about the name for the pants worn by Madonna (they were Capri pants, in case you were wondering) and had asked a gaggle of girls, when one growled at me and asked if I wanted to know so I could buy a pair to wear.
I was taken aback by her anger, because I didnt know why at the time.
I was really hoping to have an entry for the Halloween contest, but my brain has decided to douse me in depression, which has cut off my writing spoons.
maybe I will get lucky and it will lift in time for me to finish the story, but I just dont know.
See, I dont really trust myself, so when faced with decisions, I tend to turtle and try and avoid the situation. Of course, not choosing is in fact making a choice, and can have consequences.
But there is a more subtle way this works for me, and that happens if someone is offering me advice on the choice.
I find myself wanting to just hand the choice over to them, so I dont have to deal with it.
So I finally got to see my doctor about the x-rays I had done on my legs.
The verdict was that my arthritis has gotten worse in my hips and knees, and I now have arthritis in my ankle. I also have several damaged tendons in my right foot.
My doc gave me a subscription for some physio, but beyond that there isnt anything they can do.
After having some adventures driving down a steep hill and then trying to find a way back up, I found myself outside a school. One of the teachers came and took me to the office, saying they needed to enroll me.
Now here was the really interesting part.
I told them I did not belong to that reality, so I could not be enrolled.
The office had a large computer, and at first agreed I did not belong in that reality, but then it glitched, and said that I now belonged there, so the teachers enrolled me.
So yesterday, we went to get groceries, and during our check out, I mentioned that I was a writer to the cashier, she asked me what I had written, and I mentioned my novel Quest for the Silver Cleric, which is available on Amazon Kindle.
She wrote the name down, and promised she would look for it.
So apparently, we are not done with repercussions for the Move that Wasn't.
See, back when we were sure we were moving, my mom put a stop on automatic withdrawals from our current landlord, which was supposed to start at the end of September.
Then we didn't move and asked the bank to restart the automatic withdrawals again.
But then, our landlord called us and said they were unable to withdraw September's rent.
So we went to the bank, and discovered that not only had the stop had been applied to September, the restart we had asked for had not happened.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
