Just when I was thinking I was making progress, it turns out I was walking in circles.

Mistakes I thought I had already learned from, bad habits I thought I had broken, all right back and staring me in the face like they had never left.

needless to say, I'm frustrated and depressed.

hugs appreciated.

I took a peek at my unfinished stories, and all I can say is "yuck"

none of them are any good right now, and I just don't seem to have the ability to fix them

so I think I might be done producing stories for the foreseeable future.

Sorry everybody.

Well, my lack of financial planning have resulted in me not having a cushion to cover an unexpected expense.

in this case, we had to replace our cable box, which is going to set us back just under 500$

with that, plus having to pay for my mistake with my cell phone - about 300$, I have basically given myself a headache for the next 6 months, as I will have to pay in installments.

I really wish I would stop making my life more difficult . . .

Okay so last night, I had two dreams that were very different.

In the first, I was back in high school, and got word of something happening at my school.

I walked to the school, and found that several student had been killed, and others injured, in what appeared to be a mass shooting.

I joined the shocked survivors in the cafeteria, feeling helpless and guilty for not having been there.

sighs.

my brother told me since I cannot change my gametes, because I must take female hormones for the rest of my life, I cannot be a woman.

He believes I am suffering from a delusion, that I have wrong ideas about men and woman, and the doctors who supported me did so at the behest of Big Pharma.

so there it is.

https://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/world/transgender-women-won-t...

sighs, the hate gets worse

so last night, I had 2 very different dreams.

in the first, I transitioned to Dorothy in high school, and it didn't go well.

While nobody beat me up, I was rejected and shunned.

In the second dream, it started with me transitioning in high school again, but instead of being rejected I was mostly ignored, and one boy in particular decided he liked me enough to lay beside me on a grass hill, just cuddling.

Make of those what you will

I was re-reading "Its just clothes" and I got to thinking about how many people really hated the dishonesty of the wife. I wonder, how people would feel if I re-wrote it?

So last night I dreamed this huge guy was threatening people, so I went to him and said I'd shut him down if he didn't stop.

He loomed over me, and said "I'd like to see you try."

So I bear-hugged him so hard I think I broke something in his back.

He vanished.

So, what do you guys think. are huggles dangerous weapons?

new story up:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/99438/puberty-changed...

I am looking for a story and I just can't find it.

All I remember is the beginning, where a still closeted trans girl has to undergo a CAT scan, which causes her to freak out and out herself to her parents.

Any help is appreciated.

So yesterday we had an exterminator in, trying to get rid of roaches.

So mom and I spent the day over at my aunt Terry's, and I got mauled (or at least nearly licked to death) by her dog.

Finally, we were allowed to come home, and we've spent since then returning stuff to their proper places.

So . . . yay?

So I went to the pool today, and while there I had a cute encounter with a small girl, maybe 2 years old.

She asked me about the skin tag I have on my forehead, and I told her it was just a little bump, and that I have a lot of them.

She asked about my bumps, so I showed her the skin tags I have under my arm, and she was so fascinated she had to come over and touch them.

I looked over at her mom, but she was on the phone and I don't know if she even noticed, but I thought I'd avoid trouble by waving goodbye and going elsewhere.

On Wednesday, I made a terrible mistake, and I am still paying for it.

The elevators in my building were not working, and thanks to being in manic mode, I started to panic about not being able to pick up my brother or take out the garbage.

So I made the mistake of taking the stairs down.

Wednesday, I didn't really feel it, but by Thursday, I was in serious pain, and my left leg simply wouldn't work properly.

Since then the pain has gone down, but I am still struggling to stand, walk, or straighten my leg.

I had intended "Afterglow" to be a solo, but my muse disagreed, so here is part 2

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/98914/afterglow-part-2