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Last of the transgender journey blogs (Guardian)

The last of Juliet Jacques' blogs about her transgender journey as posted on the Guardian website, in this she considers whether her surgery was worth it and reflects on her four year voyage of discovery.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/nov/29/transgend...

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A bitter lesson learned.

In years past, when my Dad was still alive, I couldn't quite connect with his feelings when one of his friends passed away. I guess it never really occurred to me that Dad had any lifelong friends...I don't know why. Maybe it was partly because he was always too busy working 2... sometimes 2 and 1/2 jobs to keep his family fed, clothed and sheltered.

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Time to vote

I have two new cover designs for God Bless the Child and wanted to get people's opinion on which one they like better. One is very similar to what is already up and one is completely new. If you don't like either that is a vote also, but you can't like both because that is unhelpful. I thank you .

child.jpg
child2.jpg

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I'm Officially 21 With 21 Years Experience!

I guess I don't feel any older. It's so nice to be 21 with 21 years experience. That's the way I look at it! I am so blessed with so many wonderful friends in my life and I am glad I'm here to share this day with you! Thank you all so much!

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The Christmas story...jingling to a stop

It may well be the magic of the Christmas season, or it may be that my depression has, for the moment, gone into remission. But the story I'm working on for the current contest promises to be not only the most ambitious and complex story I've ever done, but the most ambitious and complex story that stands a chance of being completed. (I even have a tentative title: The Christmas Ivy Bloomed--a title with a double meaning in this story).

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A new title for A Boy and his Dog? any ideas?

I have decided in changing the title of my story "A Boy and his Dog" due to the fact that there already is a book and movie with this title and with similar elements in the story that I had not known about until some people brought it to my attention. I don't want people to get the wrong impression about my story or go into it expecting something based on false assumptions, or god forbid, not read my story because of prior bad experiences with the title. :P

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So you are all aware

I am trying to finish up the most recent chapter of Through the years, but life has decided to throw a few speed bumps my way. First of all, my mother is in a hospital in California and about to undergo open heart surgery. One of her heart valves is leaking. Problem is she's not in the best of shape. Osteoporosis and several falls has helped her get addicted to pain pills. So My Dad is worried that this may have been my mothers last Thanksgiving. He also has already given me the warning that he doesn't want me to come out there because of how tight money is.

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A Turn of the Cards - sort of publishing schedule

I've gradually worked out this BC publishing thing (I think). Although I've got another story here, someone else was kind enough to navigate the process for me last time, for which I am now much more grateful than I ever was before.

Anyway, I tried publishing the first chapter of my new novel A Turn of the Cards, but it turns out my chapters seem to be too long for the site (I get repeated 503s), so I'm going to post each section of the chapter instead. I aim to post a section every 2-3 days or so. We'll see how that goes.

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My stories are now removed from FM

I have mentioned the desire of doing this for quite awhile, but I finally had all my stories taken down from fictionmania. Normally I don't like to post what I do on one site on another, but I thought this was appropriate because I know of several authors who cross-post to both sites.

I wanted to explain my reasons and the final straw.

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A Transsexual Summer. Youtube videos.

This series of four videos follows several transsexuals on several weekend retreats as they discover who and what they really are, and how to deal with it. The EXPLICIT warning refers to actual surgery scenes in one or two of the videos. As I watched these videos, I found myself becoming involved with the guys and gals as they become friends and, at the end, when they depart from the retreat for the last time, I actually felt tearful as they parted company and went back to their real world lives.

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Oh my god. Update to the work situation.

Holy sh*t it happened. Some of you have been following the problems I have been having at work lately ( read about it here. And the updatehere )I vowed to not let it get me down and have been trying to move on.

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That darn apostrophe.

I'm fairly sure that when reading almost anything we can all find something that we don't like. One of the things I find annoying is the misuse of the apostrophe. I have come across an interesting (at least to me) site that I think authors might find useful. Although a UK site, it does apply to American usage of our language.

http://www.eng-lang.co.uk/apostrophe_rules.htm

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A Black Friday LOL or more like a ROFL.

Ok folks this retail monkey needed a laugh today and got it. Read today's Skin Horse that last panel says it all. We are all hands on deck here at the store and smart phones are flying out the door. In most cases the devices are smarter than the purchasers. If any of you do Black Friday I hope you got some good deals to me this is just another day albeit a twelve hour one. Tired smiles, Jenn.

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Need help making postcards (formatting)

I have this great idea to put little postcards advertising my book in with my Christmas cards when I deliver the paper next week. My issue? I don't know how to format so the front and back side line up. Is anyone here proficient enough with Word/open office to format something like that for me. I want 9 per page so I can cut them out and put them in the paper (2.5x3.5). Thanks in advance.

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Authors statement about Bikini Beach

Ellie and I have decided to merge our writings of Bikini Beach together and form what we will call, the "Canonical Writings" of Bikini Beach. It makes it easier for everyone to find our works in one place. As a helpful bonus, I have asked Sephrena to add a title page to the Bikini Beach series to point to all the fan fiction created for our universe and provide easy access to finding them as well.

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okay now what?

So I guess now I need someone to turn my pile of ..., OUCH dottie quit that, well Bill's story into a book and then make a cover(i do have a picture in my head for it) and somehow post it to kindle or soemthing.

I am totally clueless in this requard so advise would be nice.

Thanks.

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What I am most thankful for.

What am I thankful for? Easy answers right, maybe not. The standard stuff applies here I have my family, my job, the roof over my head, but I am also very thankful for friends. I have two friends who know me now both have been my friends for many years and I was pretty sure they would be supportive. Talking to them has brought me to a better place, I can honestly say I was headed in a not so good direction and wasn't sure how it would have ended.

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Editing Problem with Summary/Teaser Window in Stories etc.

Basically, the latest update to one of the background parts of Drupal broke the mini-editor or rather the mini-editor's integration into the editing box. The mini-editor is the string of little boxes above the editing window that lets you automate inserting structured HTML into your stories, blogs and forum posts.

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The Christmas contest--which way do I go, George(tte)?

The upcoming One Winter's Eve holiday contest is intriguing, so intriguing I want to use it to make my writing debut here. But as is typical for me, I'm stuck.

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Brain fart day

Yesterday, I had a total brain fart day. First, when I got to work, I realized I had forgotten to bring my shoes. This is a big deal, because we aren't supposed to be on the floor without steel toes.

Theoretically, they could have sent me home, but its Christmas rush, and they need every warm body they can get, so I was told to be extra careful, but to keep on going.

Then, at lunch, I discovered I had also forgotten to pack my pills, so that was a pain as well, and obviously a sign I had let all the stuff going on get me off focus.

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Another Team Sky accident...

Is fate conspiring against (British Cycling) Team Sky?

Following on from TdF winner Bradley Wiggins and Head Coach Shane Sutton getting up close and personal with cars, Mark Cavendish has now collided with one (albeit this time in Tuscany rather than Manchester or Lancashire) and suffered a bruised arm.

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Stlll gaining ground

Well, I hit a new low, a good one. I am now down to 192 pounds, and holding. Now to get through Thanksgiving without putting any on, which is almost inevitable, but I have managed to keep the controlled loss going so far. I am planning stopping just short of anorexia, say under 170 pounds, then letting HRT put the fat back on where it will.

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Cuba elects an openly tg person to local government.

This article is on the Guardian website and in the newspaper, the comments are interesting too, according to one commenter transsexuals just can't cope with reality - I was pleased to see they got shot down rather quickly.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/nov/18/cuban-transsexua...

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Odd e-Mails

If any of you got an e-mail in last day or two from my Yahoo acct I'm sorry I didnot send it. Someone or grp has gotten into my Yahoo acct address list and sent false e-mails thru my acct there and I'm sorry if you were effected by it as it might be infected e-mail donot open just delete it. Again Sorry as I even got some strange e-mails to myself from that intrusion. Sorry again if they were or are showing the following address and were sent in the last two days from this address [email protected] please delete donot open! Richard

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Life the Universe and Everything.

Ok, so yesterday I passed another year. I am now the age that Douglas Adams postulated as the answer to that very big question in the title of this here blog. This is significant because it has brought about an epiphany, usually folks wait for new years to make resolutions but as this is the first day of my new age it will be the first day of my new life.

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As if I needed another stress

As if I needed more stress, the little improvised repair job mom did for car finally failed, and now I'm missing a piece of my front bumper. I will have to fix it, no choice, except I dont know how I'm going to pay for it.

Plus, I noticed when I came on today that my friend Kylie has dropped me from her "buddy" list for instant messaging, meaning that I have no way to contact her at all (I have her email, but she can block that, or even change her mailbox, and I will never even know it.) So it finally hit me I've lost her forever, and my heart is broken.

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Well, on to my next insecurity--or, all about the voice...

In all my years of living full-time in my chosen gender, the biggest frustration was probably my voice. While not exactly basso profundo, it still gave off a definite "male" signal to others in the earliest years. Yet, paradoxically, I can remember being called "ma'am" on the phone on many occasions pre-transition. (The answer, I realized many years later, was that my telephone voice had a certain lilt that read as female to those on the other end, but I didn't know about modulation at the time. So it was a complete mystery to me).

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My speech from our TDOR Observance

We are gathered here tonight to mourn those of us who have been taken from us by hatred, violence, and ignorance, but in a larger sense, we are here to celebrate their lives. That we might not have known any of them personally, does not lessen our sense of loss or our disgust for the way they were taken.

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Went to TGDOR today

Well, I just got back from the Transgender Day of Remembrance, and it was very moving. So moving, in fact, that between the emotions it brought up, the stress of losing my best friend, the stress of my daughter's allergy attack on Friday, the stress of her mother's health problems, the stress of my job ....

I'm a little over-stressed, I think.

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TDoR, A Reflection

In 2007 I came home from a Transgender Day of Remembrance and went on my computer. I was told by a virtual niece that a virtual daughter was murdered. The alleged murder claimed that she accidentally choked herself with her scarf. He was acquitted of the "murder." The Evil Witch Family is poorer because of her death.

Holly and I had a temporary roommate who was a drug addict. She got clean through a drug rehab program and decided to help the transgender community by helping other drug addicts. She was murdered because of her interference in December 2010.

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Adam and the Three Wishes - Part 6

I haven't been happy with the last two chapters of Adam and the Wishes since day one, and my Beta readers and editor agreed with what I realized was a weakness with the whole thing. The ending was too quick and easy for our heroine. I made a few minor changes and additions, but I was still not too happy with it. Today, I made a few more additions to Chapter 11 mostly. Of course, in this universe, changes such as these are not nearly as traumatic as they would be in this world.

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Waves of grief

I'm grieving the loss of my friend, and as I do I notice that this is not a straightforward process. It seems like my grief comes in waves, and in between them I almost feel normal, until the next big wave hits.

It almost feels like some part of me knows I couldnt take the whole thing at once, so has arranged for me to have respites to prevent me from being overwhelmed.

Ah, well.

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rain keeps faling

So I finally got a figure on what my pension would be. Due to my 'young' >so not laughing< age of 34 they are retiring me, I would have about 545 euros a month. It's a very good thing that I'm a civil servant so that up's to 1236 euro a month conditionally >aka can't work or they take the supplement away and if I go over 5000 euro I lose the entire pension<.

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The truth about Sally

In the latest story I posted, "Bikini Beach: Swin Date", Paula, the tranasformee, meets a young girl in the Ladies' Changing Room. The girl is upset because she was a grown man, and his wife used the Beach to transform him into a twelve-year old. The girl is starting to think of the wife as her mother and is forgetting what it was like to be a man.

When Paula talks to Grandmother about this girl, the Old Woman seems happy at the notion that the adult male is "disappearing" and the girl, Sally Hammond, is taking her place.

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Katie's update

I know I haven't posted a new story in quite some time, and believe me it is a lonely, unrewarding existence. But I am still slaving away at the next great novel. It is turning out to be quite the project and I keep plugging along. I hope it is good. I am putting a lot of work into it and it is a departure from my normal fair. Sure it is emotional and hard hitting, but my characters actually have supportive, stable home lives. I just topped over 100,000 words and haven't gotten to the first climax yet. My fear is that the end of the book is going to be like falling of a cliff.

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What to expect with a magical gender change?

Hey guys I'm new to this site and I'm new to TG fiction as well (I'm also new to writing fiction in general) I was wondering I y'all could give me a little help. What kinds of changes (physical, mental, emotional, social, and situational) would a teenage boy face after magically turning into a girl? I understand of course that some of the ways he is effected will depend on what kind of person he is but if y'all could help me with general ideas of what he would face I would be very grateful.

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The more things change...

Just clicked the Four-Years-Ago link at the top of the site and found myself a bit... stranged up is as good a phrase as any I can think up at the moment, I guess, by the fact that just a little bit ag, Ang posted the latest Bike and there on the four years ago page is Bike #463, third posting down from the top. For some reason, that kind of struck me a bit. I know I wasn't around here four years ago, but still... The more things change, right?

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delaying grief?

Kylie, my oldest and best friend and the reason you're able to read this, may be gone from my life, and no idea if she'll be back. It hurts as much as you can imagine, but I haven't been able to grieve - I had a busy shift at work, then had my first session with the weight loss group, and then got about 4 hours of sleep before I got a call from Samantha's mother saying she had taken Sam to the doctor for a severe allergy attack.

At some point, I'll stop and grieve and let the hurt out, but for now its .... bottled up.

I'm not sure this is a good thing or not.

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An update on my road, to follow Annette's

Some of you may remember that last summer, ( 2011), I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. They thought they'd caught it early enough that it would not come back. Nevertheless, I was put on a relatively mild chemotherapy, ( just in case! ). I was also put onto a trial study of a vaccine for pancreatic cancer.

After the chemo was over, the study and the vaccine injections continued. I also continued to get CT scans every three months.

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Hello again!

Well. After the longest eight months of my short life, I'm finally back, writing again. As to why I was gone so long, real life and illness took up all my time. I found out a lot about myself and a lot of other things, what was important and what wasn't. I lost almost everything material that i possessed and a long term relationship as well as my health. The whole experience made me stronger and maybe nicer and certainly a lot more patient.

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