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Going mainstream is hard

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When I wrote God Bless the Child way back in 2002 my goal was to write a mainstream story that gave some insight to the plight of a transsexual. The story, which few would doubt is gripping, reads like a Lifetime- made for tv (good pun)- movie (still waiting on the deal).

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'The Legend of Alfhildr' on Kindle

The first collaborative effort by myself and my ever gracious Anglo-Irish co-writer is now available on Kindle.

Enjoy

Nancy Cole,
a.k.a. HW Coyle

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If you'll forgive the descent into self-pity....

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As much as I try not to, as much as I try to divert my attention away from the feelings of worthlessness, of intellectual and creative inadequacy, and the persistent question, "Why bother?", I'm finding myself slipping into depression again.

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A good meeting with my pastor

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I spent some time talking with my pastor today, talking about being trans, being a survivor of sexual abuse, where I am now, and my desire to find a way to give back to others for all the help I have been given.

A coupe of interesting things came out of it; first, she wanted to re-assure me that from the first time she met me she found I "radiated a feminine energy" so she had no doubt that I am a girl.

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Link to TG TV interview of a great author

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Okay, so maybe not a great author, but I got you to check out the blog, how about checking out the clip and telling me what you think. If for nothing else, you get to see and hear what I look like. I am out there and there might not be any bringing me back.

Please post comments too.

http://www.notstr8.tv/shows/trt-44/

I wish we could embed this so you don't have to go off page.

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looking for a story

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looking for a story I don't know if I read here or on another site. Its a father had to go on a working vacation and his wife and son was invited. and when they left home they forgot his suit case. And everyone thought he was a girl.

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Dear Diary-Life's Changes Happen And Our Choices Are Limited

I have come to a crossroads in my life and have made a decision. It is life altering but it is a decision I must make.

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And so it starts

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As you can see, I just posted the first chapter of Lashes, my newest novel. As I've stated before, I won't post until the story is finished. Liar, liar, pants on fire, sorry I couldn't wait. Don't worry, I've already written over sixty thousand words and figured if I posted the first parts of the story it would light a fire under my ass and finish the thing. Well as I write more things take place in the story and, well, the way I think about it, by the time I'm done writing, the chapters will just be getting caught up.

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About the TV experience

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Yesterday I got interviewed on Transition TV on the NotStr8 television station (now available on Roku). I will post the link as soon as I get it. After the show goes live, they edit and then post a cleaner version.

Being interviewed was quite interesting. Part of me wonders if I am playing make believe with some of the stuff that's been happening in my life. I feel I backdoored my way into the interview, but I guess I'm okay with that.

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Rough night

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Okay, so Tuesday night I go to work, and managed to pull a muscle in my leg. It gets bad enough I have to not work Wednesday night, but I came back last night despite limping pretty hard.

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I wonder what it's like.

Sometimes I wonder.

I wonder what it's like to have someone "special." Someone to come home to, or someone who would come home to me.

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The Role Of Rage In Our Stories

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I have been exchanging PM's with another author who thinks that expressed Rage can have a strong role in stories. His assertions have caused me to be quite thoughtful about the concept.

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The Best Jewel Thieves In The World

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On the day that Durham won the County Cricket championship for the third time in six years - stealing it from under the noses of Yorkshire! - let's hear it for the Land of the Prince Bishops and arguably its most gifted son. Yes, the songwriting genius Paddy McAloon has a new Prefab Sprout album out on October 7th. I've heard it all and it's the best thing he's recorded since 'Jordan: The Comeback'.

Down below, down below
What do any of those losers know

http://youtu.be/5WnATZLcXuA

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In-Laws, DyFS, and a Whole Mess of Stuff.....

So shit hit the fan today.

Amy's parents basically told her that I don't care for her, that I'm not welcome as Family any more, and that she will probably be cut off from her family if she doesn't leave me.

And by leave me, I mean they gave her a deadline of next saturday (2 days after the amniocentesis).

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We lost a trans sister yesterday

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Yesterday I found out on facebook that another trans woman had committed suicide, after I sent my prayers for her family and friends, all I could think of was "That could have been me." See, I'm in the 41 percent of trans people who have made an attempt on their own life, and it can only be described as a miracle that I am still here.

And that would suck, because then I would have missed out on all the amazing things that have started to happen since I started transitioning, and I would have caused grief and pain to the people I love for no good reason.

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Help finding a book on a grammar...

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Like many people here I'm on a quest... Not really a quest for gold or fabulous treasure, but I think perhaps a more mundane one. I'm looking to improve my writing skills. Every story I write I learn something new and I'd like to keep this trend going, but I've hit a bit of a snag. One of my biggest weaknesses is that I lack a complete grasp on grammar. Virtually Twisted was my first foray into the world of TG and also the first yarn I'd written in quite a while. Something I think was painfully obvious when I first posted it.

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Gabycon 2013 and Nena's holiday

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More of Nena's holiday here http://www.maddybell.com/Nena/nenahol13b.htm and I've also put up a programme for Gabycon next week here http://www.maddybell.com/page600.html

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"A sickly sweet as a German white wine"

"A sickly sweet as a German white wine and just about as much body."

That was a review I got on Fictionmania for my story "False Positive"

And people wonder why I prefer to post here....

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Fuck. My. Life.

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Fuck this shit. Fuck it all up. Fuck it out of the park, out of my life, into deepest darkest space beyond the reach of telescopes. Fuck it into the past, fuck it out of all recognition, break it, twist it, mangle it until there is no resemblance to its original state. Fuck it past its original state, into the primordial pre-fuckery that spawned it.

I am fed up. I just want someone to sort me out, because it is becoming painfully obvious I am incapable of doing it myself.

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO!

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Links Added

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I added links to the bottom of my Halloween contest entry for the other stories in the "universe," if you will, of Henry Harrelson's Custom Fit Boots, in case anybody is interested in reading the other stories set there.

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Gifts to keep BC running

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We're halfway through September and have half of our goal received for August. All gifts are appreciated and the money is being spent to either pay our ongoing hosting related bills, pay down debts accrued in keeping the site running for the last 14 years or pay Piper enough that she can forego other paying jobs to keep BC and related sites functioning. Some goes into the Server Fund intended to upgrade our hardware next year and what little is left over I probably spend on comic books and In-N-Out burgers. :) I also share donations received with other TS/TG sites and causes.

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For all of dormouse lovers...

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Warning!
Dangerously cute!!!
(turn on sound)
http://youtu.be/DlS3w1GGE8g

(yes, I know it is doing rounds of internet for couple of weeks already, but no one posted it here yet :-) )

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I AM My Brother's Keeper

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So far this Holy day season my rabbi concentrated on the idea "I AM my brother's keeper." I was thinking that I know three here who have unknowingly demonstrated to me that quality: Holly Hart, Penny Cardin and Gwen Brown. Among those mentioned by the rabbi was how four chaplains of the doomed WWII transport ship the Dorset gave up their life jackets and other items so that other soldiers could live. He also mentioned Mother Teresa who founded and maintained a hospital in one of the worse slums in the world, yet had a crisis of faith.

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What to do

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What or how do you work past an issue that makes you uncomfortable. It sounds trivial but for the life of me I cannot seem to, or want to, write scenes that can affect a childs' relationship with his/her parent. I can envision it but I'm unable to put it to paper. I've known several people that have had a poor relationship with theirs but mine was never like that. Its like a stumbling block for when I have to write it. It's essential to the story so there's no way for me to skirt around the issue. Unless the parent is a total bitch (which she is not) I cannot write it.

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Another poem from Kylie

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Here is another poem from Kylie:

I could say I love you as much as the sun is bright
But it is much too dim

I could say I love you as much as the winter is cold
But is much too warm

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To post or not to post

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At the moment I am pondering the following question

Should I continue to post stories on this site?

The reason I'm asking myself this is this comment I received relating to my latest story.

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Well.....that happened

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So a few things have happened over the last few days that I have found.....unbelievable in my mind. And being unable to physically voice them just puts the nail in the coffin, so to speak.

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Portia Bennett's California Saga

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I have just completed a wonderful series, and I wanted to comment upon it. As is common for me, I started at the end with Soaring With Eagles, Portia Bennett's most recent novella in her California Saga. I was so impressed with the story that I had to look up the rest of it. What I found was a wonderfully well-written series about a large family in California.

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A (possibly) TG-related memory

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When Dorothy wrote about a recently-resurfaced memory of hers, in which she shows off a dress to her mother, I assumed I had nothing that was even remotely comparable from my own childhood. Now I'm not so sure.

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Beautiful Songs Written In Pain

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Here I am again, indulging in my usual late night indulgence of listening to music which transports me. Tonight it's Fleetwood Mac and the particular song that got to me tonight is "Go Your Own Way", probably my fave song by this group, written and sung by Lindsey Buckingham (with chorus by Stevie Nicks) when Lindsey found out that Stevie was having it away with Mick.

Listen to the pain,

Joanne

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Authors: Here's A Sentence For You!

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Don't know if anyone is looking for a real-life inspiration for a story, but I was just reading a Wikipedia article about an anti-baldness drug, and in the discussion of its discovery/development was this sentence:

"In 1974, Julianne Imperato-McGinley of Cornell Medical College in New York attended a conference on birth defects. She reported on a group of intersex children in the Caribbean who appeared sexually ambiguous at birth, and were initially raised as girls, but then grew external male genitalia and other masculine characteristic post-onset of puberty. "

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Interesting thing happened today

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I stopped at a yard sale this afternoon and as I was browsing the items I saw a man longingly looking at a beautiful prom dress from a distance. It was a beautiful lavender glitter long gown. It was gorgeous and an old skinny part of me yearned for it but I doubted it could fit my calf anymore and besides, I could not think of a single place it could be worn.

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Had a strange day yesterday

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So as you may remember, I got a new job at the end of July and started on the 30th of that month. Well about 2 weeks ago, they told us that we had to do an orientation thing, where they could tell us all about our job, show us where everything is and stuff like that. Like I haven't learned where all the stuff I need is at after a month there.

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A horizon just out of reach

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Hi, my darling readers!

Due to various non-bad reasons (me having been switched to another schedule at work, taking extra classes after that, and family, and so on) I'm getting dreadfully behind on my writing.

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Free Books by Karin Bishop

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Last week I announced that two of my Kindle eBooks will be available for free downloads; they're available tomorrow, Friday and Saturday! Many of you have been kind and purchased these already, but newcomers may find them a free introduction to my writing, as well as my stories here on BCTS.

Role of a Lifetime is about a middle-school boy who is cast in a TV pilot, where he must play the son of a family on the run, but disguised as a girl. And things happen ...

It will be available for free Friday and Saturday, September 13-14.

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Did something really kewl today!

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There was a funeral procession that passed though my home town today. It was for a fallen Soldier that lived in Connecticut. He was flown to Stewart airport National Guard base in Orange county, N.Y. All along the procession route at the various overpasses, located within my Fire District's coverage area we positioned a Fire truck and Emergency service personal to pay tribute to the fallen Soldier as the procession passed. I thought this was a very fitting thing to do and was proud to be a part of it.

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Pop culture references/tributes in stories & 100k

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I seem to have a knack for placing (sometimes not-so) subtle tributes in my stories especially my latest work, Battle for Earth. I have several characters named after actors/characters from The Simpons, Stargate SG-1, and Star Trek along with a not so subtle reference to Dirty Harry, and much more illusive one to Star Wars. For any of you that have read my story Incompatible there's a pretty sizable dream sequence (for lack of a better word) which is a tribute to the movie die hard.

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Feeding the ducks?!!!!

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Where else I ask!!!?

In most towns, mummy takes toddler down to the park lake to feed the ducks.

Not in my kinda' town. Nah, Mam takes Blodwen and Dai up the mountain to feed the sheep!

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Interesting Study: Testicle Size vs. Paternal Behavior

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I know many of us think about gender roles and physiology. Here's a story about an interesting study which looks at how the size of a man's testicles might affect how he relates to his children.

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No longer writing

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This is a good day, kind of. I am no longer in the writing phase of my next novel. I wrapped up the first draft earlier to day of "Unreachable"" (I dropped the word "The" from the beginning). and now I am onto the tedious part of editing. The book is 240k words long, so a bunch is going to be cut off to get it to a respectable length. I overdid the beginning and I think I can lose that without hurting the story.

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what is the secret to creating good charactors and dialog

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So it doesnt seem like their puppets or peole just in a play at the moment. That they seem like real people that could live next door to you with a life. How do you do that

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I'm not back, but... everyone needs to watch this.

In my humble opinion, a very well handled and TRUE depiction of how Transsexuals are treated by others AND by the law itself. Frightening, frustrating, and maddening... but true.

Cathy

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Speed Bump

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For about the past three weeks, or perhaps a little longer, I've had a mild sore throat. Symptoms: slight discomfort there, perpetual taste of old milk, intestinal bloating on account of the gunge draining down, resulting nausea and so on.

Last week I decided it had gone on long enough and went to the doctor. Cue loads of tests and a completely unexpected finding.

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Need help forming a business

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It has gotten to the point where authoring is no longer a hobby. I have money coming in and money going out and I need to do a better job of keeping track of everything. Now that I am advertising I have money going all over the place and when tax time comes, I'm going to be screwed if I don't get things in order.

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Male pregnancy story ideas

I've been thinking of writing a story around the following idea: A seemingly normal teen guy is in the closet about liking guys, and one day at a camp or a sleepover a horny gay teen seduces him and tops him. Over the next couple of months, the protagonist's body changes in unexpected ways - breast growth, swollen belly and he gets morning sickness. Eventually a doctor diagnoses him as pregnant. He's shocked to discover part of him is actually pleased. He keeps the baby and his body keeps changing. At the end of the story, s/he's nursing the baby.

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059) OMG!!! Abi's Got A Say What!?

So... I might just be getting a boyfriend soon...

I know! I can't believe it!

Anyways... He doesn't... At least, probably not... know about my past yet.

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Terribly picky reader

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I'm a pretty picky reader. To the point that I don't read or finish the vast majority of the stories here and on similar sites. I might start many of them, but then lose interest someway through.

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Delays in story submission

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Have several chapters of Maiden of Bronze finished, but proofing has been delayed. Body make over is moving along and havetwo other stories in line for final edits but spent 6 days recovering a new clients data from a crashed server sort of out of it, probably need to sleep for a couple of days data recovery finally complete.

sort of in a daze, will get the stories out soon, also getting the twins ready for orientation at CALTECH in a couple of weeks,

Love you All, Goddess Bless you all

Our Love is shared and returns to us stronger
and more abundent

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Missing Little Katie story

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I started reading an old K.T. Leone story, The Adoption of Little Orphan Danny. In the 3rd chapter there is a reference to an old Little Katie story, "The Boy who Wanted to be a Girl."

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i need some help with my account

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I am angel101. Not sure if that means anything here but I created an account many months ago and posted a story here titled her sons makeover. But because of a move and many issues that were going on, I didnt log into that email and I lost the password to both and yahoo deactivated the email so im pretty much screwed with getting access to my previous account here. What can I do

That email by the way was urangel2007.

so what can I do

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One week and two days

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I have passed all of he hurdles for Gender Re-assignment surgery. The VA did all of my pre-op tests and decided I needed to se a cardiologist to clear me for surgery. On the fourth of September I was cleared and now am ready for the 17th of September at 6:20 AM. My surgery will be in Bristol, Pennsylvania at the Lower bucks Hospital. Dr. Sherman leis (lease) will be performing the surgery.

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