(aka Bike) Part 958 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad
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Getting the children home from the hotel was not going to be easy. They’d had loads of fun and naturally wanted more. I tried to explain that their fun cost lots of money and therefore we’d have to save up again. I don’t think they believed me for one moment.
None of them were aware of the accident and because they didn’t see me go off with the police they were none the wiser about casualties. The agony we’d gone through when we’d thought it was Maureen, I was glad wasn’t shared with the children. Julie would have been very upset, now she’d gained Maureen as a friend.
The next day, Maureen called me to ask if she could come out to talk to me about things. I spoke briefly to Simon–it was his last day home, but he agreed to give me an hour when he’d look after the kids. In fact he took them cycling, although I had to check his bike was roadworthy. Whenever I do this it feels a bit like a role reversal thing, he’s the bloke he should be sorting the bikes. But it’s not like that in our house–I’m the bike mechanic, as well as everything else–he’s the bureaucrat.
At about ten the doorbell rang and Maureen came in, Julie and the girls made quite a fuss of her–the boys were out in the garden with Tom planting potatoes or something.
The girls went out with Simon on their bikes, I took Maureen into the kitchen and closed the door on the hovering Julie. I didn’t want her involved at this stage, so I asked her to go and find something to do.
“Like what?” she pouted.
“Go and help Stella, or take Puddin’ out in the pram.” I didn’t care what she did as long as it wasn’t hurtful or harmful to her or anyone else.
I made some tea and Maureen and I sat at the table. “How did you get on with the police?” I asked.
“Well, ma’am, they were a bit awkward at first but when I mentioned I was on the police and minorities liaison committee, their manner improved.”
“Nice one, well done. Was it your friend?”
“Yes,” she nodded and began to weep. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. If it had been a girlfriend, I’d have given her a hug–but she was twice my size and I didn’t know if my arms would go round her to begin with. In the end I walked round behind her and put my hands on her shoulders and gently massaged them. It calmed her down and she was able to speak again.
“How did she end up with my address in her bag?” I knew the answer, I just wanted her to talk to express her emotion.
“She was going out on a date with a girl she knew before, who seemed to accept the changeover. She wanted to look smart and wear her new red shoes, she didn’t have a red bag so borrowed mine. It was all so fast that I didn’t have a chance to check I’d emptied it properly before I gave it to her.”
“Ah, it’s quite easily done–I tend to use the same handbag whatever I’m doing unless we go somewhere special, it saves an awful lot of messing about. Once before I went away and forgot my purse, it was in my other bag. So by using the same bag, I’m less inclined to lose things.”
“I’m a bit more old fashioned, ma’am, my ex used to have a bag for every pair of shoes or boots–so I do the same.”
“If that feels best, that’s fine.”
“It does.”
We sipped our teas, then she stated why she’d come. “Look, Mitzi won’t have many people at the crematorium, most of ‘em’ll be from the local TG support group, so would you come, sort of as a respectable person?”
“Goodness, I’ve never thought of myself as respectable.”
“Well, you’re married to a lord, you work for the university, have loads of kids, help people like me an’ I’d like you to read the lesson if you would.”
“You’d like me to read the lesson?”
“Yeah, she ‘ad no family–they disowned ‘er a couple a years ago.”
“What sort of lesson is it? I’m not religious–so I might be the wrong person to do this.”
“She weren’t neither, so it don’t matter, you’ve been more Christian to me than many who call themselves one.”
“I don’t see it that way, but when is the funeral and what lesson do you want me to read?”
“I dunno–I wonder if you could think of something, you like being an educated lady.”
“Mitzi–she wasn’t Jewish, was she?”
“Dunno, ma’am, she coulda been for all I know, why?”
“Well, I’d have to try and find something from the Old Testament or other Jewish texts. If she was Islamic, I’d have to find something suitable for that. It would be possibly considered insulting if she was Jewish to read from Omar Khayyam.”
“Oh gawd, I hadn’t thoughta that. ‘Ow do I find out?”
“Was she employed?”
“No–she was still looking.”
“Because they might have been able to tell you.”
“I’m sure you’ll be able to find something–a clever woman like you.”
“If I was that clever how come I have six year olds regularly run rings round me?”
“Because you love ‘em?”
“When is the funeral?”
“Next Monday, at eleven o’clock.”
“I’ll see what I can do. I’ll look for a couple of days–if I can’t find anything you might have to find someone else.”
“Nah–if you can’t find nothin’, no one else is gonna–are they?”
“Why not?”
“You’re the best educated person I know.”
“Oh dear, Tom and Henry are cleverer than I am, Stella and Simon both went to public school before university. They should be better educated.”
“Nah–I seen you in action, run rings round ‘em.”
“I don’t think so, but I’m not going to argue. Okay I’ll read your lesson from a piece of my choosing.”
“Thank you, ma’am, I know Mitzi would be pleased to have someone of your position readin’ for her.”
“But I’m not am I? I’m doing it as favour to you.”
“You visited her yesterday, so she’s not a complete stranger, is she?”
“Almost, Maureen, she was deceased, albeit fairly recently.”
“Of course–would you come and speak to our group?”
“About what? My subject is dormice–can’t see what relevance that would have for transgendered people.”
“Perhaps just talk about your perceptions of them–as a natural woman, like.”
How do I get into these situations? I can’t accept the invite for all sorts of reasons including the fact that I’d be lying or wilfully misrepresenting myself. I’m not prepared to do that. “I don’t think so, Maureen–I’m flattered that you think my opinion is that important–but, I don’t think I want to do that. Sorry.”
“Okay–I have to go, eleven o’clock, Monday at the crem.”
“I’ll be there.”
Comments
A different sort of meanness...
Well, you might not have put us through the wringer with Maureen's death(Thank You!)but you are still apparently going to put us, and Cathy, through a bit of self examination. Much needed on Cathy's part, IMHO.
Vote, Vote.
There, I've done my ob and voted early and often!
Abby
Funeral lessons
I remember Cathy's angst when she had to read the lesson at Stevie's funeral (Part 224). Pity she can't do the same lesson:
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
Certainly by her actions, it's one lesson that Cathy lives.
Public Speaking
Bike Archive
Bike Resources
Cathy's Dilemma
I am sure that Cathy really would rather not read a lesson at Mitzi’s funeral, but she wants to give Maureen support so she will probably do it. But what happens if one of the TG group recognise her? After all she's not exactly unknown as far as being TG herself is concerned.
Interesting episode.
Gabi.
Gabi.
Bike pt 958
Maybe Cathy can read something from Gaby or SNAFU, or even Charlottes's Tale.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
A challenge for Cathy
Problem is as we all know is that she is kinda hobbled in the belief in a supreme being area and by extension the absurd ( to her ) idea of a spiritual continuation of some sort beyond this veil of tears.
So, I suspect she will just offer a philosophical offering, I gather, unless she gets some kind of divine ( blue light? ) inspiration. :)
Kim
No one's opinion matters!
Having been transgendeded in the past, I think one of the biggest hurdles is the final sight picture, the running up field with people intent upon hurting you after you, the concentrating when bullets are spitting around you, the cooking when a thousand kids are tearing around the house, breaking things and asking endless questions.
In some ways, you have to be the best God Damn hell actress on earth. You have to forget your beard shadow, your bald spot, your deep voice, your total lack of a Butt and all that stupid shit, and concentrate on hanging by the string, wading in the water, smiling, catching men looking at you, waiting for them to open your door, not getting pissed in traffic, smiling, not squinting, keeping your shoulders back, not wolfing down your food, smiling, not spitting, not scratching your crotch, or your butt crack, not walking like a bull, talking pleasantly.
Now those who read between the lines here, you get an A. :)
Gwen
Another
...clever chapter and food for thought.
So, just how stealth is Lady C.? Is there no gossip on the internet about her past? She is, after all a public figure. Her BBC nature film all but guarantees that in perpetuity.
Ah, well. 'Tis a pity she can't address Maureen's group as who she is, an outrageously successful role model for them all.
Vote - Vote
I do understand Cathy's reluctance to talk to the TG group. Her beauty might discourage some of the group - if they knew she was TG. While she may not accept her beauty, apparently it's obvious to those around her. Cathy claiming that she's not attractive, in this group, could reduce her credibility. (I wish my shrink's group hadn't had to be canceled. The one session I attended was well worth the time.)
As Maureen seems to think Cathy's a genetic female, like Stella, I do wonder what she thinks Cathy'd have to say to the group.
Very interesting episode, on several levels. And, as you can see, I voted.
Thanks,
Annette
I suspect
That the level of acceptance from somebody Maureen sees as an attractive and sucessful GG is what Maureen wants her group to see. What Cathy would have to say is not nearly as important as her coming to them and saying it. It would give their feelings of self-worth some badly needed reinforcement. How they would feel if/when Cathy was revealed might be a problem, and you know it would come out sooner or later.
I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.
Cathy is a cut above the common tranny
Well, okay, maybe 2 or 3 cuts :), but you have to understand people may intellectually remember you are trans but if you present so well that you are indistinguishable people can overlook that little fact.
In a way I've been on the receiving end of that as I know I get treated differently from other trans folks. Granted they know I am post but if I am introduced the first time or if I deliberately out myself the first time, I get a different attitude coming from people compared to say a beginner.
Well Cathy is going to be even more so as she is without doubt at least 2 or 3 cuts above me. As Maureen said in the previous episode, she recognizes a Lady when she sees one. Once you've made a certain impression the first time around, people have a hard time thinking of you differently.
On top of that, I suspect since she is a full-fledged Blue Light wielder with all the rights and privileges of that office, whether she knows it or not, she may very well radiate a Presence about her lending her even more dignity. *shrug*
Kim
Trying to figure out
Where you can find any kind of inference in my comment that Cathy is anything like a "common tranny". On the contrary, I said that to Maureen she appears to be a GG - Genetic Girl. But it is not a secret that Cathy is a post-op, and presumably somebody in the group will think to do a common online search which will bring that to light.
At that point some may feel she has mislead them, if only by omission, and it could get unpleasant.
Please, don't put words in my mouth.
I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.
Not trying to put words in anybody's mouth.
I do not understand what makes you think I am saying that at all.
With all due respect, it's her call, maybe she is not public, I do not think she owes them that bit of knowledge. That is the difference between our opinions I think. Being trans even if talking to other trans does not mean you have to automatically be 'out'. She is 'out' yet in a sense she is not 'out' in my opinion because of her qualities.
She can still do her thing at the remembrance ceremony after the cremation just fine without even having to bring trans into it at all. So why should she have to preface herself as being trans? She does NOT owe any other trans person an explanation. Tough if they feel that way but that's life.
Kim
almost surprising that
Maureen doesn't know "the truth" about Cathy. It's no secret. In a way I think talking to the support group may be good for Cathy but around building self confidence and self concept - being the person you see yourself as.
I'm sure Cathy can find a great reading for the funeral. She's a pretty resourceful and insightful person. (I wonder where she gets that from? Her biographer?)
Ironically...
Although it's no secret Cathy is TG - she even did a round of TV and radio interviews several hundred chapters ago - because she's so successful at looking and presenting herself as female, people have a tendency to either ignore or forget the fact.
Of course, being married to a peer of the realm, being HSB's Environmental Advisor (together with life-size photos in every branch), wildlife documentary maker and adoptive/foster mother to six children helps...
...not to mention the occasional acts of heroism and the speculation / rumour that does the rounds every time the mysterious "healing angel" pops up.
Maybe she could get together with the other successful TG/IS cases from the UK branch of the BCTS universe - incorporating Penmarris Cove, Thurso, Melchester and wherever 'Eve' was set... :)
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Thanks that was the point I was also trying to make
And I as I just said above, she does not owe other people to have to out herself over and over and over ...
People forget being 'out' is not quite like being a virgin who finally is deflowered. When people forget you are trans, and I think that will happen over time for Cathy for the most part, it is almost like getting a Hymen restoration surgery :).
Kim
Charity.
Cathy is right on the issue of Mitzie's eulogy. She did not know the girl except in death and therefore she cannot speak with integrity thereof.
She can however speak words of comfort to help Maureen get through the trial of Mitzie's funeral and it it help's Maureen get through that eleventh hour on Monday then she might at least consider a few kind words. Sudden and unexpected deaths are always traumatic and cruel. When we are hit by them we all need support and succour.
Go for it Cathy. JUST A FEW KIND WORDS!
Bugger the faith for that often breeds disharmony and bigotry. Just go with godliness, for that is love and love begets charity!
Beverly.
support groups
when I started my transition, it was suggested I attend said groups, I went once and flatly told my shrink, I'd do better on my own. Maybe it was the fact the group seemed more dominated by crossdressers than TS, that bothered me the most. CDrs (bless them I do like em) do not have the same needs as transitioning transsexuals nor commitment. many of which I had met seemed more sexual fetishists than even trying to pass. the few that did attempt simply wernt more than occational dress up or maybe to safe club type. While all in all this is fine & good, role models or signifant help they were not. The TS's i met seemed as wishy washy also, cept one person. We got to talking off to side & made arangements to keep in touch & she like my self wasnt coming back. I had 3 or 4 GG friends in my age group that knew what i was doing & they later became more or less my support group. It was not long B4 I introduced My TS friend to them & I believed we were doing the right thing. I told this to my shrink & he thought I was making a serious mistake (I told him then I dont need your services either and proceeded to come up with another one that my friend had been using. She's been great & agreed with us what better way to learn bout women than from those that had lived their whole lives as such. Between my 4 GG friends, my TS friend, and the new shrink, whom I later found out was TS also, tho not from her. I believe the two of us did the right thing.
Support groups prob good things for some folks, but Mary & I tended to be loners in RLT and didnt figure that group anything was gonna do much for us cept maybe open our social horizons abit. we both figured that the women we already knew helping in general & in socializing with them, and the Shrink in helping us with stuff that TS's had experienced, we had our bases covered, both of us knew a few Post-ops, and by asking questions, and in general managed to avoid some of their pitfalls & avoided a few RED TAPE bombs along the way.
one of the things I've learned - The forrest has many paths in it, some are suitable for some individuals, other paths are more workable for others. The thing to keep in mind is staying on the path that most comfortable to you the individual & stick to it. When you find a stumblng block, seek help to move it,or blow it up. dont just sit there & complain there's a block so I have to wait till someone comes along and moves it for me..
Cathy
Does understand the issues. She is no longer the shy retiring little wall flower he used to be. Woe unto the person offering her violence, as she gives better than she receives.
Sainthood ?
It's always the same; good people (and Cathy is 'good people') always get to be asked to do more good, to the point where it is more than inconvenient. Others seem to disregard the evident fact that these 'GP's are already too much in demand for their goodness . Cathy is so good that in the end, depending on the length of this epic, she may be subsumed into a heaven she denies. That'll be a shock to her scientific system. The only thing she hasn't done that Jesus apparently did is raise someone from the officially dead list.
This sort of thing is often seen when someone wins a lottery and is immediately surrounded by pleas for monetary help from a sudden increase of relatives and 'Good Causes'.
Ellenz
Being recognized as tg at the funeral ? che sera, sera
Mitzi probable wasn't Muslim or Buddhist, so a nice reading from the Old Testament should do just fine.
Maybe Genesis ?
Speaking before a TG group as a 'normal' woman, no! Don't want to deceive these folks, do we ?
Unless, of course......... They want to hear about dormeece? (had to work in Doris Day)
Cefin