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(aka Bike) Part 907 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad
All Rights Reserved. |
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The chief inspector eventually came to the house with a detective and a WPC. I insisted that he interview us together; he wasn’t pleased but given I was acting as Julie’s guardian, he had to agree–we weren’t actually accused of anything.
The interview was tedious and Julie was very tired and stressed by the end of it, I’d asked Stephanie to call by later. I found the whole thing quite traumatic.
The police found themselves in a dilemma–the Kemps had kidnapped their own child, for which there are precedents of people taking their kids abroad, especially when mixed race marriages breakdown. These abducting parents are guilty of kidnapping especially where a writ has been issued to prevent such things.
As no one was ultimately hurt–the police were wondering if the Kemps could be given minimal punishments. Julie shrugged her shoulders and asked if she could go. I was less traumatised and more angry.
“That man was prepared to kill his own child because he disagreed about her following her need to change her gender, and when she effectively ran away and sought sanctuary here, he tried to impose his will upon her.”
“He’s in an awful state–he thinks he killed her, and she’s some sort of zombie who you commanded to walk out beside you.”
“He obviously didn’t kill her.”
“Or somebody saved her life with a clever bit of magic.”
“If they did, I didn’t see them.”
“Look, Lady Cameron, I am fully aware that Brad Kemp was seriously injured a few days ago–yet he walked out of hospital a day ago.”
“Some people are obviously fast healers.” I said shrugging.
“I am aware that they called you in to assist with his healing and that you didn’t know it was Julie’s dad until afterwards.”
“Why would they send for me–he’s not a dormouse?”
“Are you denying you saved his life?”
“I don’t see what relevance that has on your visit here.”
“Did you heal him?”
“Why is that important, what I do with my time as an adult, providing it doesn’t break the law should be of no interest to you.”
“Are you denying you healed him?”
“I’m neither agreeing or disagreeing until you tell me why I should answer the question. I’m not a suspect in anything–am I? If I am, I’ve neither been cautioned nor arrested.”
“You make this difficult for me.”
“How is your left ear?”
“Fine–hang about, the tinnitus has gone–what’s going on here?”
“And your hernia?”
“Now just a minute”–he put his hand to his groin–“it’s gone–what are you?”
“Me, I’m just an ordinary woman trying to bring up a handful of children–why?”
“Ordinary? Even extraordinary doesn’t do you justice.”
“I did nothing.”
“Have you cured my Ménière’s?”
“I’ve done nothing–I haven’t touched you, have I?”
“Who are you?”
“I told you, just an ordinary woman.”
“Where does this healing come from?”
“I have no idea.”
“Is that–you won’t tell me?”
“I don’t know.”
“You healed Bradley Kemp–and you healed his daughter when he tried to cut her throat?”
“Did I–did you see me do anything?”
“No but the blood sprayed over the wall was consistent with that sort of injury.”
“Or a violent nosebleed.”
“I’m not stupid, Lady Cameron, and you can’t bribe me to stay quiet simply by curing me of some medical conditions.”
“Have I asked you to do any such thing?”
“No, I admit you haven’t.”
“Well, I’m glad one of us is admitting to something, because I’m not.”
“What about threatening my officers with a visitation of the angel of death, if they said what they saw?”
“Do you believe anyone can do that?”
“Of course not–not until I met you–now, I’m not so sure.”
“I am–I’m a scientist, none of this is possible.”
“What about two thousand years ago; didn’t someone have powers of healing then?”
“Allegedly–I wasn’t there, and scientific theory and practice wasn’t well enough developed to have proved anything.”
“You sound more anti-religion than pro, but surely this gift of yours comes from God?”
“Until I can prove that in a laboratory–I’ll have to pass on that supposition.”
“Okay, where does it come from, then?”
“You want an honest answer?” I asked him and he nodded. “I have no idea.”
“That sounds unlikely for a clever woman like you?”
“It happens to be the truth, I don’t tell lies if I can help it.”
“What about Julie–her throat was cut, wasn’t it?”
“Was it? Prove it.”
“Oh I intend to.”
“Think on this–if this sort of nonsense gets into the press, they’ll be round here like a pack of hyenas, and I have seven children here.”
“What are you implying?”
“If any of my children suffer as a consequence–lots of people will regret it.”
“Oh I see–Old Testament plagues again, is it?”
“No–my in-laws own a bank–they know lots of other people in the financial world.”
“So?”
“So think before you suggest ridiculous answers to mundane questions. There is only
science–the rest is an imitation.”
“What about those people who see you as touched by God?”
“They must be a trifle touched themselves?”
“So how do we reconcile this?”
“If you turn it into a non-event, say they were filming some cop show, I’ll withdraw charges.”
“Would a training event do?”
“Yes–tell your colleagues that it was a training event, an unannounced one.”
“And what about the young copper whose diabetes seems better?”
“Spontaneous regeneration of Islets of Langerhans, it happens.”
“Assisted by your good self?”
“I’m not particularly good, Chief Inspector, I’m just ordinary.”
“I’ll see what I can do to hush this up–thank you for my improvements, I can listen to music again–properly.”
He held out his hand to shake mine.
“No offence, Chief Inspector, but if I don’t touch you, you can’t claim I did anything, can you?”
“I don’t suppose I can.” He nodded at me and took his troops with him.
I went up to see Julie, she was asleep on her bed and Stella was sitting watching her.
“Thanks,” I said and hugged my sister-in-law.
“As her guard dog sister wasn’t here, I thought someone ought to watch over her.”
“Umm,” I agreed.
“Been patching up police, have we?”
“I dunno–I don’t control it, do I? I wish it would bugger off and leave me in peace.”
“If it did, would she be here now?”
“Yes–if I’d declined to help her dad, he wouldn’t have been able to abduct her, would he?”
“Point taken–but then, he’s gone barmy anyway, hasn’t he?”
“I have no idea–if I ever see her parents again, it will be too soon. If I do, I’m likely to take a poke at Ma Kemp–she’s a prize cow.”
“Pity you’re not Harry Potter, you could have turned her into one–or something worse.”
“Stella–stay with reality, will you–mind you, I suppose I could get the books and read them to the kids.”
“What, add to Ms Rowlings’ millions?”
“If she puts her money in your bank–does it matter?”
“Probably uses Coutts.”
“Yeah, probably–more class.” She gave me a filthy look and I sniggered.
“What’s next?”
“Yes–little megawatt.”
“Eh?”
“Trish–I have to go and collect her and the other convent kids.”
“How many are you planning on bringing home?”
“Apart from our three, you mean?”
“Yes,” she nodded.
“Nun,” I replied and ducked as she swiped at me.
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Comments
Now thats interesting,
and if she can cure the Islets of Langahans, I demand a visit from Cathy forthwith! Still a good read, thank you - Jay
She who laughs last did not get it at first... My blog => http://jaym.angelblogs.co.uk/
That which does not kill me only serves to delay the inevitable. My blog => http://jaynemorose.wordpress.com/ <= note new address
And the bell has just rang
to signify the end of the first round....Once again the heavyweight Chief inspector had failed to land a knockout blow on the mercurial Lady Catherine Cameron.....What will happen in the next round?....Well for that ,We will to ask our coorrespondent at Chez Cameron......Over to you Angharad
"Shock news here the chief inspector has thrown in the towel said he could'nt lay a glove on Lady C, So whats the point in carrying on Mind you if you ask me something tells me he could try again when the odds are more in his favour"
Sorry about the use of your name Angharad...But it just seemed to fit!!!
Kirri
Having reread EAFOAB 907
Maybe my last comment about the policeman was unkind ,After all they did part on good terms.....Sort of!.... What i was trying to get over was the poor policeman try as he may was no match for the quickwitted Cathy.....Having read my previous post again, Perhaps that was'nt too clear.
Kirri
LoTD
I'm still chuckling over that dreadful joke that finished the chapter.
(LoTD = Laugh Of The Day - no idea if it's still running, but back in the late '90s it was a joke-a-day email service from the creator of the newsgroup rec.humor.funny)
So now it seems as though the healing isn't just content to let Cathy direct it, it will heal people in the vicinity automatically (albeit letting her know about it). Talk about putting the Chief Inspector in an awkward position - denying she was doing anything while simultaneously curing his tinnitus and hernia. At least she got him to agree to pretend the strange events were the result of an unannounced training session.
Perhaps now things are starting to settle down, the family will be able to go for another bike ride, or Cathy can do a bit more work on the mammal survey, or start research for the harvest mouse documentary (maybe even roping in a certain teenager as assistant / runner). Hey, maybe she can even make time to visit the uni - and introduce Julie to Spike.
Or, more likely, someone blabs to the local paper and the press pack start camping outside again (at least partially because they've got wind of Trish healing everyone's scrapes in the playground)...only to be interrupted by the return of the Russian Mafia, anti-cyclist nutters, transphobic university staff, paedophiles and the ghost of Des. (Err...have I missed anything off that list?) Oh yes, we need someone to get depressed and suicidal, and admitted to that clinic. Monica hasn't seen much action recently...she'll do!
--Ben
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Great Comedian
Och Ben,
you are a laugh a second ! I liked the postscript the very best:
"There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't..."
Briar
Briar
After Cathy's denial at the end of the episode
I have to wonder if she's about to bring home another foundling. Lets hope not - 6 is already a pretty big family.
Bike pt 907.
Hopefully, now Cathy has a few plod friends that wl help her if for no other reason that self interest.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Healed Coppers.
What is it with coppers?
Tell them the truth and they won't believe you, tell them what you think might be the truth and they take it away and represent it as fact in court.
They just can't let a sleeping dog lie.
That's my experience of them anyway.
Cathy's maybe got a gift about which she's got very mixed feelings. It never appears to harm people yet coppers are suspicious of her and try to hector her.
Yeah. Sounds about right. Never trust a copper.
Beverly.
Keep up the writing Cathy.
XOXO
It's the highlight of my day. Oops! I mean evening.
Thanks for the story.
beverly.
Beverly Taff.
This is wierd. I haven't changed my password but the site wont dispayl all my thingies at the side like 'Submit Story'!
authority issues
seems endemic with the lot.
My greater concern is once someone knows then whats next, your dying aunt, your niece with cancer? If you don't or won't cure them then you are surely evil or very selfish, especially when you don't seem to break a sweat doing it so therefore it must be effortless, doesn't cost you anything right? The only thing that keeps the wolves at bay is they fear her otherwise she would be in a cage; a real golden goose to be exploited "for the greater good". Some nutjob is going to see her one day with a scarf over her head doing a blue light job on someone and think shes the blessed virgin.
Cathy seems to be giving out blue light specials at an exponential rate.
Letting a Sleeping Dog Die.
Tis the Nature of the Beast, Beverly, The Plod never could sleep a Leaking dog lie! Hic!
Briar
Briar
Cathy
Cathy has had several years to adjust, the inspector just saw something miraculous for the first time.
They are probably closer in beliefs than they think. It is good to hear Cathy acknowledging reality though, proves she is sane.
I keep saying I want to see Cathy
I think I've heard that repartee before, with someone else.
Cef