(aka Bike) Part 985 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad
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I vented my anger on my chores, charging round with the vacuum cleaner, slinging things into the washing machine, banging pots around in the kitchen. I emptied the bread machine and began another loaf.
Simon called towards the end of the morning. “Is it safe to come home?”
“You’ll always be safe with me, my darling,” I purred down the phone.
“Is Julie going to be safe?”
“If she apologises, I might spare her, why?”
“I’ve given her a stiff talking to, she’s sitting in the car now sobbing her heart out.”
“Why?”
“Because I gave her a talking to, I’ve sacked a few people in my time you know.”
“Okay, how long are you going to be?”
“An hour tops, I hope–depends on the traffic.”
“I’ll make some soup.”
“Any fresh bread?”
“Yes, but you’re not to eat it all.”
“I’ll try not to.”
I made a thick soup with chicken stock and loads of veg plus quite a bit of pasta. I cooked some rice separately and flavoured it with more stock. After the soup was cooked, I zapped it with my hand blender and kept it warm on the hob, the rice I kept warm by cooking it very slowly.
I heard the Jaguar come into the drive. I waited, blocking the stairs–I was going to have it out with her one way or another. I noticed Stella disappeared as soon as it became obvious that High Noon had come to Portsmouth–only in my version, Grace Kelly was carrying a gun, not a parasol.
The back door opened and Simon said something quietly, presumably to Julie. Then the door shut. “Hmm, that smells good, Babes.” He strolled into the hall and saw me standing with my arms folded in front of the stairs. He stared at me, “No rolling pin, then?”
“Where is she?” I spat.
“Julie, you might as well come out and get it over and done with.” He stepped back into the kitchen and pulled her out into the hallway. I felt like a hungry tigress about to devour a goat.
“I’m sorry, Mummy,” She burst into tears and ran towards me catching me completely by surprise because the next thing I knew I was hugging her tightly while she convulsed with sobs against my chest. “I wanted to help her, she looked awful, like a horror movie.”
“Did you do any healing on her?”
“No, Mummy, I couldn’t bear to see her, all black and blue and bandaged. I had to leave because I was sick.”
“Oh, do you feel alright now?”
She nodded, still sobbing. “Daddy took me for a cup of tea,” she gave a huge shudder.
“Did he tell you off?”
“He didn’t need to, I feel so awful. Maureen needs our help and I couldn’t...” She burst out sobbing again.
“You deliberately disobeyed me and led Daddy into thinking I’d allowed you to ask him to take you. You lied to him, Julie.”
“I’m really sorry, Mummy.”
“Apologies are not enough, I’m afraid, you’ve broken the trust we offered you. In my eyes that’s a serious offence.”
“I’m sorry, Mummy, please don’t make me leave, even if I deserve to. I’d rather die than leave you.”
“I wish you’d thought about things like that earlier.” I continued to hold her although I was trying not to feel too soft and sensitive even though this was breaking my heart as much as hers.
“So do I; I’m sorry, Mummy,” she sobbed and pushed herself from my arms, “Shall I go and pack?”
“And just where are you going?” I challenged.
“You told me I don’t deserve to stay here.”
“No I didn’t, I told you that you had deceived us and disobeyed me.”
“I’m sorry,” she sniffed, “I assumed you wanted me to go.”
“A while ago, I told you that you had a home here as long as you wanted to stay. Unlike some people, my word is my bond.”
“You mean I don’t have to leave,” she rubbed her eyes and looked at me in gratitude.
“That’s what I said. However, neither Daddy nor I will tolerate such behaviour without some form of consequences.”
“Oh, you’re not gonna make me go back to being a boy, are you?” Her face fell.
“Don’t be ridiculous, but you will be punished.”
“Yes, Mummy.”
“You’ll lose all privileges for a whole week and you will work unpaid for that week. If I don’t consider you have learned your lesson sufficiently, I might extend that to a second week. I will brook no dissent, is that understood?”
“Yes, Mummy.” She sniffed and shuddered again.
“Now go and clean up and be down here in ten minutes for some lunch.”
“Yes, Mummy.”
“Oh, and Julie, just because you’re a silly little fool, doesn’t stop me loving you. However, loving you doesn’t stop me disciplining you. In fact, it makes it necessary. We have boundaries to maintain, I can’t have you trampling over mine when you feel like it.” I nodded at the stairs, “Ten minutes.” She fled up the stairs still sniffing and sobbing.
“You missed your calling, you should have run a military prison.”
“Simon, she committed numerous offences–serious ones.”
“She’s a kid, with an abusive background–give her some leeway, will you?”
“I have, she needs strong boundaries to hold her. So do I. You’re not here most of the time, I have to keep her safe until she grows up–and I mean that in several senses. She is very vulnerable and at times very headstrong.”
“Yeah, so were you.”
“Exactly, so I know what I’m doing.”
“That’s a matter of opinion,” he said as he walked away.
“Simon, we need to be united on how we bring these kids up.”
“I thought you just told me I’m never here.”
“Don’t split hairs, I need you to back me up.”
“Do you? I think you could have frightened a company of Royal Marines–she’s a kid, just a kid.”
I stormed into my kitchen, shut the door and burst into tears, leaning against it. Was I too hard on her? Am I out of touch? Am I a bully?
Why did she have to provoke me, to challenge my authority and to do so in such a devious way, involving Simon as well–or was that part of her plan, to involve him to try and minimalise the consequences? Was she clever enough to do that? I wasn’t at all sure.
I wiped my eyes, warmed the soup and drained the rice, then began to dish it up. “Lunch is ready,” I called. I wondered how many of them would come for it.
Comments
I am on Cathy's side on this.
As if anyone needed me to weight in on this but I completely agree with Cathy's assessment and actions on this. Yes, as an abused child, firm boundaries are nessessary because they make them feel secure and cared for along with enforcing disipline. Yes, she's what 16? And I forgot if she's on the 'moans yet, and if she is well those can cause one to feel a bit emotional.
Jolly good job, eh!
Khadijah
Well, I guess I'm one of the
Well, I guess I'm one of the first ones!!!
very good as always!! I remember having similar problems with my own children.
Can't live with them and you can't eat them either!!
Lisa E
The joys...
...of raising a teenager! Lovely stuff Angharad and Bonzi.
At least Simon seems to realise the part that he has to, and will need to play.
With no positive news from Southampton, it would seem that Cathy is going to need to go and deliver another dose of blue light to Maureen.
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Sad, But Necessary
Simon should not, in essence, be scolding Cathy for disciplining Julie. And, Cathy should not be handing out discipline while she's angry, but all in all, I thought she was quite reasonable. I think Julie did, too.
There is a name for what
There is a name for what Cathy is doing with Julie, and that is 'Tough Love'. Sometimes to use it hurts the parents more; but it has to be done on occassions to get it across to the child/teenager, before they cause harm to themselves in some manner. As a Family Counselor, I used what was considered 'Reality Therapy', which was to show the person or persons being counseled the reality of their lives. I commend Cathy for her stance and I do agree with her that Simon needs to stand behind her in her decisions, as she is the "Matriarch' of the family. As parent, they cannot allow their children 'to play them off against each other'. Jan
Hurts doesn't it?
Boundaries must be set, rules must be made, hearts will get broken; often!
Who's learning the lessons here, Julie or Cathy?
Hang in their Cathy. Just a few more decades to go!
Then they'll be wondering who's got what in your will!
Kids eh!
Got to go now.
XOXOXO
Beverly.
Bike pt 985
Cathy AND Simon are getting a firsthand look at raising a teen. Like Cathy said, a united front is best, or Julie will play one off on the other.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Good update!
"Why did she have to provoke me, to challenge my authority. . ."
That is what teenagers are supposed to do, as they search for independence.
I, on the other hand assiduously attempted to avoid conflict 'till I was nearly 30, and as soon as I asserted my independence, my parents promptly "ran away from home," retiring and moving away to a lower tax jurisdiction.
Cathy Is Absolutely Right !
Cathy is absolutely right in her approach to Julie's disobedience. She does need boundaries. I suspect that Simon and Stella weren't disciplined by Henry all that much growing up and got away with more than they should have. I have been wondering why there isn't more mention of Simon and Stella's mother? Neither one of them talks about her hardly ever. You have to wonder if that might have shaped Simon's attitudes toward parenthood. I would like to see them open up more about her and talk about her in more detail. As curious as little children are, I would think one of the kids would ask Simon or Stella about her at some point. I guess they think Monica is their grandmother and don't really think about it or know any different.
Don't forget...
...that Simon and Stella went to boarding school, and Stella in particular didn't respect anyone else's boundaries.
I think you're quite right about a lack of discipline from Henry. Also remember that after Simon and Stella's mother split with Henry, he wouldn't allow any contact between the children and their mother—and then she died.
So, I guess the Cameron siblings are a bit like Cathy in the sense that they're learning (and making things up) as they go along.
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Great job Cathy
but Simon's lack of understanding bothers me a lot.
However, the fact the punishment is fair goes a long way. Cathy affirmed her love while doing it out of love will help blunt any resentment and the fact Julie in her heart of heart knows she screw up should help preventing this dishonest behavior in the future.
I feel the touch of Bonzi in this episode strongly as mother cats brook no arguments in disciplining her kittens - usually with a low growl, as I understand it.
Kim
Bonzi
is a tom cat, so I hate to disabuse you. My experience of she cats, is they whack their kittens on the head with the same sort of blow used by lionesses when crushing the diaphragms of prey. I've had several she cats who smacked me on the hand when fed up with my juvenile behaviour - usually tickling them, whereas Bonzi just tries to rip my arm off.
Angharad
Angharad
Yes I know Bonzi is a Tom
... but since Bonzi is the one Writing the darn tale, he might recall what his mother did to him. *sigh*
As far as I know, Cathy has yet to try to rip Julie's arm off but I would be surprised if she was not at least tempted to thump Julie. But FWIW, I have heard stories of low growls from mother cats.
Kim
ahhhh, kidz
can't live wth them, can't bury them in the back yard, can't whup up on them. i agree 100% with cathy on this one. great stuff angharad. and yesssss, i only have one hand available right now, so no proper caps etc. i'm lazy
Simon...
...is an ass. Repeatedly. I suppose it's for the best that he's away in London most of the time, it's better for his marriage. And his health.
I've read the series from the beginning, and while he has his moments, I still don't like him much.
Meanwhile Maureen still needs healing, and we don't know how much Cathy was able to help her... Julie needs pointing out that her thoughtless actions could have seriously affected the life of another human being, if it had resulted in Maureen not being allowed any visitors.
Sometimes Cathy must
wonder just how many children live in her house, Simon really needs to realise that bringing up children is not easy at the best of times, But if you work against your partner then what is a sometimes stressful job becomes a lot more difficult....As Cathy says "Simon, we need to be united" Wise words and ones that Simon should heed'
Kirri
I have sympathy for Simon too
He just doesn't have a clue and is trying to avoid confronation but finding that avoiding it in one direction just gets it from another. Suspect that eventually he'll learn to simply agree with Cathy. (and hoping that Cathy will someday learn to discuss things with Simon before declaring them as law)
Julie seems to be get a lot of lessons in life in very quick order.
Good point about Julie
Yes, she is getting a lot of lessons very quickly. But you know the old saying about the horse and water and drink. Problem is, I suspect Julie did not have a parent she could properly relate to, let alone parents she can love and respect. So this is new territory and she is reacting all the more strongly to being punished for mistakes teenagers will make.
But like I said, Cathy is meting out punishments very fairly, and with love. She has affirmed their bond even while doing what one must but Julie is going to need time to adjust to her new mummy whom she desperately needs their love and approval. Which so far Cathy has given in full measure and beyond ( well Cathy did save her life after all. )
When she grows up some, they will have a great relationship.
Kim
well I wasnt expeciting that,
and there will be some fall out yet i suspect, but what has occurred was very good thing. it shows Cathy taking a stand, Simon will wrap his brain around what was really said & show he does understand & convince Cathy. while Cathy has blown off some steam, she's also shown alot of love & compassion to her charge. & I see things calming, before the next media blitz coming down the road when she does complete her work with maurice.
Discipline
The only thing I disagree with it threatening to kick Julie out. She needs to know even if she has really messed up she has a home. Disciplining a child when you are calm is almost impossible IMO. Cathy gets high marks for self control overall.
Simon, like Cathy, is learning. Most parents have the infanthood to learn the basics, Simon is stepping into the role full blown, so he needs a bit of slack, just like Cathy.
Learning the ropes goes both ways, unfortunately. When my boy was 10 or so I saw his bedroom window was cracked. I confronted him with "Do you know what I found in your room!?"
A very scared child, knowing he was busted, responded with "The playboy under my matress?"
"No. But we'll get back to that!"
Sometimes being a parent means keeping a straight face. It can be hard.
Parenthood is God's answer to boredom, you can be many things, but if you are bored you are doing it wrong.
Simon
Here we are talking about Simon's shortcomings as a parent, and most of it is his fault - which would greatly reduce of he was at home everyday, and seeing what is going on. I admit Cathy is doing a wonderful job, but just how much more would Simon give the family, if he was at home every night? Couldn't he work from home, as a lot of people are doing?
Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?
Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm
Simon is an a*****e !!
How does Simon maintain control over his employees with an attitude like that ? Thanks for backing me up, you act like a divorced father, only around on an occasional weekend. Then takes umbrage when called out. I sympathize with Cathy on this.
Angharad, you dog.
Cefin