This was sent to me as an email joke, I know we get hundreds sent each year, this one may cause a chuckle. I don't know who wrote it.
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut,
Had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk
boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching
all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want
sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're
cheating on me or you don't love me anymore;
whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far
cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown
out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID
notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me not to
say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment . And when
you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that
my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all
of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I
hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two
tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.
Comments
Always remember...
A woman has the last word in an argument with a man. Anything the man says after that is the start of a new argument.
I make that game, set and match - and from just one rally. Impressive!
Susie
letters .
never tell your old lady your leveing or at least with here sister as it may not work out this is fun ,thanks for makeing my day
have a good one and enjoy the football game today may you have the luck of the irish and god bless you
whildchild
mr charlles r purcell
verry good story i wood love to see a lot more of this all i can say is wow verry good thanks for shareing
One Thing That I Learned From My Parents Was That You Never
Backtalk either one of them, if you do, you got a whipping. Dad always deferred to Mother in anything to do with the house or raising us kids. He was an old-fashioned country boy raised in the traditions of the rural South. Mom knew all the domestic skills that helped to stretch the dollar. From them I learned to respect a woman and girls.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
A leason to be learned...
Never jump to conclusions, always get the facts first before making decisions. Just think how much better he would have been if he had simply found out first hand what was going on instead of making an ASSumption that lead down a blind alley.
Enjoyed the story :)
Huggles,
Winnie
Huggles,
Winnie
Thanks for sharing
This old one has stood the test of time
Rhona McCloud
-giggle-
Local Drag Queen: Carlotta Girl.
aka Carl
and one extremely lucky person, even knowing you cannot tell she isn't actually female.
Stupidity is a capital offense. A summary not indictable.