The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1025 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

The fish and chips were delicious, and everyone tucked in, including Stella. She was going out on a date, so Julie had agreed to look after Puddin’ probably for a certain consideration–honestly, kids today are so mercenary.

I changed into something a little more suitable for hospital visiting and set off, leaving Simon, Tom and Julie to sort out the kiddiwinks. Danny had declined ice on his gonads, and I didn’t feel that laying on of hands–just there was appropriate either, well not from me at any rate. If Trish or Julie wanted to try by other means, that was fine. They could try and improve his black eye at any rate.

Simon told me the new car will arrive tomorrow–this was the new Audi TT thing. I wasn’t impressed by the fact that it cost a mint and went at the speed of sound in first gear–I simply wanted something that went safely and smoothly, carried at least three children and the shopping. Okay, so for my brood I need a minibus and trailer, but much of the time, it’s only me in the car. Speed I prefer as a cyclist–then I can’t go fast enough.

I wore a skirt for a change, and Julie made some comment about not recognising me in a skirt. I gave her a Paddington hard stare and she suddenly remembered something she had to do. The kids all gave me a hug and told me to wish Maureen a speedy recovery. I assured them I would, Trish gave me a handmade card for her, which I promised to pass on. I wondered about taking her in something, but decided I didn’t really have time.

The trip to the hospital was uneventful–thankfully and I suddenly thought, I could have ridden there on my bike if I checked the batteries in the lights. Oh well, I was there now, so I went on to her ward and up to her room. She was sitting in the chair by the side of her bed, snoring like a chainsaw.

“Sorry, I’m not Prince Charming,” I said giving her a peck on the cheek.

“Uh–wuh–wot?” she uttered while waking up, “Oh, it’s you ma’am.”

“I told Tamsin I would come.”

“Yeah, she said you’d try.”

“I have and here I am.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“So how are you?”

“I’m okay–apart from not earning any money while I’m in ‘ere. I’m surprised my landlord ‘asn’t kicked me out.”

“Why would he?”

“ ’Cos my rent won’t ‘ave been paid.”

“Why won’t it?”

“The little matter of me ’aving nothing in me bank account.”

“That shouldn’t be the case, Tom and I have been paying you a half salary while you’ve been sick.”

“You what?”

“We’ve been paying you a half salary while you’ve been in hospital.”

“You are an angel, you really are.”

“I don’t think our angelic friends deal with such mundane affairs as rent.”

“No–they get saints like you to do it for ‘em.”

“Before we take this discourse any further on such numinous subjects...”

“Luminous what?” Maureen interjected.

“Not luminous, numinous.”

“Which means?”

“To do with divinity–spiritual stuff.”

“Oh gawd.”

“Yeah, Him as well.”

She began to laugh loudly, and I’m afraid in a very masculine voice, so I shushed her and explained her mistake. She blushed and apologised.

“If it sounds as if I’m criticising you, I’m not, I just want you to integrate as fully as you can.”

“Yeah, I know, thanks anyway, ma’am.”

“So, apart from my divine origins, what else did you want to tell me?”

She chuckled again, “You are a one, in’t ya?”

“Probably, but you asked me to come in urgently, I’m here.”

“Oh that, well you’ve answered most of me question ‘fore I asked it.”

“Can we start at the beginning, because you lost me completely there?”

“Sorry, ma’am; you still putting money in me bank account like, ‘as kept the landlord off me back. I thought I was gonna ‘ave to ask yer for a letter to say I was employed and ‘ed get ‘is money eventual, like.”

“Oh well, I did something right–how’s the walking?”

“With me elbow crutches, I can potter–like a drunken dormouse though.”

“I’ve seen a few dormice in my time, but I don’t think I’ve seen a drunken one.”

“It was a metaphor.”

“I thought it might be.” I winked at her and she chuckled again.

“You are so good for me, ma’am–you’ve ‘ealed me, an’ kept a roof over me ‘ead. You’re a bloomin’ miracle worker.”

“No I’m not, I’m trying to hang on to a valued and skillful worker, who’s having a few problems. How soon before you can drive again?”

“Dunno, ma’am, they ‘aven’t said nothin’ about that yet.”

“I suppose they wouldn’t. Look when you get home–if you need any shopping done, let me know.”

“Thanks, ma’am, but I think you got enough to do, in’t ya?”

“I keep fairly busy, but my offer is genuine, and I mean it.”

“I know, ma’am, an’ once I’m mobile, I’d like to start measurin’ up stuff again an’ get on to it soon as I can.”

“I know, no hurry–I don’t think anything will fall down in the near future.”

“You know, I can feel me back warm just talkin’ to you.”

“Imagination, I expect.”

“No it in’t, ma’am, I in’t the imaginative sort.”

“Okay, we won’t argue about that–how long before you go home and do you need anyone to collect you?”

“No thanks, ma’am, Tamsin ‘ll come an’ get me with a taxi when they give me the old ‘eave —‘o from ‘ere.”

“Well, you have my number if you need me, don’t hesitate to ring.”

“Thanks, ma’am, I won’t.”

“Won’t what? Forget or ring?”

“Forget.”

“Good–we make progress. Now is your flat suitable for someone with mobility difficulties.”

“It’ll be okay, I think–they’re gonna assess it.”

“Let me know if you need some help.”

“I will.”

“Simon has contacts everywhere and is very good at using them.”

“Thanks, ma’am.”

“No need to thank me, plus of course if you’re short of money–let me know.”

“I think you done enough already.”

“Yes, but I am married to a bank–so it doesn’t embarrass me to be asked.”

I asked for Tamsin’s number and after leaving the ward, called it and arranged to meet her there tomorrow after I left the girls at school and Julie at the salon. Goodness, was it Friday already? Where does the time go?

I couldn’t remember going to Maureen’s flat, but I thought I’d take some flowers or a pot plant and some dusters and polish and see if I could spruce things up for her. I wasn’t going to have it decorated or carpeted even if it needed it, because that would be interfering in someone else’s home. If someone did it to me, no matter how well intentioned, I’d be very angry indeed.

When I got home I was exhausted, and after a cuppa went to bed. Simon was fiddling on his computer–so it was probably work related–he’s supposed to be off on the sick. I drank my tea and flounced off to bed, with his last sentence ringing in my head. “But, babes, I’ve made them half a million since we’ve been talkin’.” No wonder his father wanted him back in the office.

I explained the conversation with Maureen and he simply shrugged, “If she needs somewhere new, let me know, I’ll pull a string or two–I’ve got some favours I can call in.”

“For a psycho, you’re really nice.”

“Takes one to know one,” he said before going back to his computer while I went off to bed with Simon Brett.