The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1155 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

Lunch proved to be something quick–Welsh rarebit. After clearing up, I managed to get some survey work done and to remind all my volunteers about the upcoming dormouse survey, the last of the year. I sent out emails making sure we had a licence holder at every site we were doing, then it was time to collect the girls.

The week seemed to fly past. Gareth came to collect Stella once more and she went over to his place once as their relationship began to develop. It felt really good to see her dressing up and wearing makeup again. There was a spring in her step and she had something about her which even Tom noticed.

“You look nice, Aunty Stella,” commented Livvie.

“Why thank you, Livvie, you look pretty good yourself.” Livvie walked about the place with a smile almost as big as Stella’s. She’d paid all of the girls to babysit Puddin’ who was no trouble except when she was teething and then guess who got to look after her?

So for a week I lived with Lady Stella, becoming prettier and more confident by the day. “You know you saved Gareth’s job, don’t you?” she said to me on the Friday.

“What d’you mean?” I asked making up a bed for Phoebe who’d be here tonight.

“They’re making redundancies in Defra and Natural England.”

“Yeah, so what did I do?”

“He’s prosecuting the timber thieves, which you effectively caught and your help with getting the bank to pay for the fencing, apparently makes him seem to be involved with the business community, which they’re trying to encourage.”

“Oh good–I’m glad I’m doing something right. Pass the duvet cover please, yes the grey one.” I finished making up the bed while we talked. “Nice nail colour,” I said noticing she’d painted her nails.

“Gosh, Cathy, Gareth has given me a reason to live again and it’s really through you, thank you for letting me have him.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“C’mon, I know you fancied him and he rather fancies you, too...” As Stella droned on I had visions of a rerun of the Des situation. I still hadn’t told her that he’d left me his property and that I’d set up a trust fund for her daughter which all profits from the house went into, after repairs and refurbishments.

“I had nothing to do with it, Stella, other than working with him in his official capacity. That he asked you out, is nothing to do with me–I’m married to your brother–remember? And happily married, as well.”

“Methinks the lady protests too much,” was her reply.

“C’mon, Hamlet, help me carry this washing downstairs.”

The rest of the day was either talking to people about the survey the next day or getting the place ready for Phoebe, which Julie was looking forward to, although I told them they could only go to the cinema if they went out and no alcohol. She told me they were going to see some film about lesbians with Julianne Moore in it. Great, oh well maybe it will help her decide what she is–although I’m sure I saw something in the Guardian about both her and Annette Benning claiming they were straight. For goodness sake, they’re actors, aren’t they supposed to play anyone they need to, or is it especially challenging to do so to play someone who’s different to you? The world is crazy, too busy with its head up its arse concerned about its sexuality and what others will think rather than getting on with doing something called living.

I’d bought a turkey which I’d roast for tonight and do something with the rest of the meat tomorrow and Sunday. Tomorrow we could have turkey and chips–for those trying to wean themselves off meat–it would be the hell of cold turkey.

I had the bird in the oven from three o’clock and the vegetables started before I went to collect the girls. Sister Maria told me they’d sold most of the tickets for my talk on November 26th. I’d nearly forgotten all about it.

I left Stella in charge of supervising the rest of the veg while Trish and I went off to collect Phoebe, who was waiting for us at the bus station, with a used ticket. She gave us each a bone shaking hug and we got into the car.

“Lady Cameron, there’s something I’d like to ask you in confidence.”

I waited to start the car, “Okay, I’m not sure I can answer it, but I’ll try.” I assumed she’d spoken to Neal about my past–oh well, at least Trish knew about it and besides she was sitting in the back seat singing along with Kylie Minogue on her MP3 player and every so often very strange noises emanated from the back seat.

Phoebe blushed, “It’s a bit embarrassing,” she said very coyly.

“Please don’t feel embarrassed with me.”

“Okay, is Julie a boy?”

I blushed showing my embarrassment. “What makes you say that?”

“She’s got some dangly bits.”

“She showed them to you?”

“No, I saw them while she was sleeping, the bed cover slipped down and they showed through her nightdress.”

“Why don’t you ask her?” I asked.

“Um, it’s a bit personal, isn’t it?”

“I think it might be a bit personal for me to answer, too.”

“So that means she is, then?”

“Does it?”

“Yes, ‘cos if she wasn’t, you’d have said so.”

“Would I?”

“Yeah–wouldn’t you?”

“Would I?”

“I spoke to Neal and told him about you breast feeding, he said if you took the right hormones anyone could do it.”

“Ah, so now you think I’m a boy again? Are you sure you want to stay with us if we’re all weirdos?”

“Oh yeah, it’s like great fun, an’ I don’t think you’re weird, I like you.”

“So what about Julie, are you still happy to share a room with her?”

“Yeah, no probs–I don’t suppose she could get it up anyway–though part of me would like to see her try.”

“I’m not sure I can let you share a room with her, you’ll have to sleep in the dining room on the couch.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t allow underage kids to experiment with sex in my house.”

“What? I thought you were cool about all sorts of things being different yourself.”

“I’m sorry, but you’re wrong there. I have very conventional views on what minors are allowed to do. By all means try it when you’re eighteen and somewhere else, but please don’t embarrass me or abuse my hospitality.”

She burst into tears, “I wasn’t gonna do nothin’, honest–can’t I stay with Julie?”

“I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it now and I’d require an undertaking from both of you that nothing would happen. I’m a bit disappointed Phoebe.”

“Aw poo, I thought you were so cool an’ things.”

“I’m a parent, Phoebe, I’m also old enough to see beyond the barriers you have because that’s what I’m required to do, to see the consequences of certain actions, it’s the difference between being an adult and a teen. I’m sorry if it sounds boring, but that’s the way it is. Now if you want to stay, you can, but on my terms, or you can catch the bus back and I’ll call your mum to explain why.”

“What? You’d tell my mum you were a bunch of weirdos?”

“If it protected you and Julie, yes.”

“Wow, no shit.”

“Absolutely none at all.”