Wuthering Dormice (aka Bike) Part 67 dozen (805) by Angharad

“Bloody hell!” I said feeling my whole body shaking, “You could have shot Simon.”

“Yes I could, but I thought you liked him?”

“I do,” I said feeling bemused.

“I thought so, so I shot the other one. In all fairness, he was the one calling me names, so I suppose it’s sort of a quid pro quo.”

“But you could have hit Simon,” I felt tears form as I contemplated that as a scenario, then I heard him groan and rushed to help him, dropping the gun as I ran. Unfortunately, it was cocked and discharged a shot which hit the Russian I’d decked, in the same place as my knee. I screamed, but not as loudly as he did.

I tended to Simon who was asking for a drink. “I’ve got some water in the car.”

“Water? I want brandy,” he croaked.

Myrtle went to examine the recently shot Russian who was still squealing. “He’s alright, you just shot his testimonials off.”

“What?”

“The bullet shelled his nuts, if that doesn’t sound too corny,” observed Myrtle giving him a handkerchief to hold over the wound. “I think he’ll be sitting to pee, in future.”

She picked up the gun I’d dropped and passed it over to me, “Give it to Stephen, while we explore the house and make sure there’s no one else here.”

“What? Simon has been a hostage, he needs looking after.”

“Just give him the gun, I’m sure he knows more about using it than you do. Sidney, keep an eye on these two,” she indicated the two live Russians. Simon looked at her in astonishment but accepted the gun, whereupon, Myrtle grabbed me and together we searched the house–quickly.
There was no one else there, but Myrtle took sheaves of papers and carried them out to her car. Then she called Bill and told him to send an ambulance and a body bag. She spoke for a couple of minutes, then she broke the lock on the front door and Simon and I left with her and her flash car. Simon was most impressed with that.

“You know,” he said as we sped away, “I always fancied driving one of these.”

“Well buy your own, because you’re not driving this one,” said Myrtle and the look on Simon’s face was priceless.

I’d been doing some thinking while we headed back towards Portsmouth. “Bill knew where Simon was all along, didn’t he?”

“Probably, with the transmitter thing.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“You’d have sailed in like the cavalry, wouldn’t you?”

“Where are my children?”

“Safe.”

“How can I trust you when you deceive me?”

“You have to.”

“Do I?”

“If you want to see the children again.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means sit back and shut up. Your children are safe, so are Stella and the old man.”

“Professor Agnew.”

“Yes, him.”

“Why do you have this problem recalling men’s names but get women’s correct every time?”

“Do I?”

“You’re gay, aren’t you?”

“Oh sweetie, you’ve worked it out–I spent half the journey here rubbing your leg–for a scientist you’re not very clever.”

“I keep telling her that,” said Simon, smirking.

“Keep out of this, Sebastian, this conversation is between grown-ups.”

“I don’t think naíveté and cleverness are necessarily in conflict.”

“Think again, little girl, sophistication requires intelligence.”

“In which case I’m happy to remain stupid.” I folded my arms.

“It’s such a pity, I could have taught you so much–you’re so like I was when younger.”

“God, I hope not,” I said and sulked.

“What a shame,” she said and shrugged.

“I want to see my family as quickly as possible.”

“Sorry, little girl, we do things my way.”

“Don’t patronise me, Myrtle, you won’t live long enough to regret it.”

“Are you threatening me, Cathy? Threatening me, after seeing what I can do and the contacts I have.”

“If you think I’m impressed by some cheap fairground antics, you’ve got another think coming. I’m not threatening you, Myrtle, it’s unladylike, but I think you ought to know that I have a pistol pointed at your back and at this range, even I couldn’t miss.”

“Good lord, I’m impressed, but the folly is that you’ve revealed your plan and I can now negate it. You can hardly shoot me while I’m driving at speed and I also have a gun, and you’re hardly a moving target.”

“If you harm one hair of her head, I’ll break your scrawny neck,” I’d never heard Simon speak with such menace.

“I think you may well be dead too, sunshine.”

“Even dead I’ll wring your neck,” he snatched the gun from her and it went off making me jump until the seatbelt restrained me. Suddenly there was a draught howling from the broken side window.

“You’ve damaged my car, you brute.”

“Be thankful I didn’t damage you.” Simon snapped back.

Suddenly, friends or allies become enemies, unless you dance to their tune. The potty old biddy thing hid a nasty, selfish almost psychopathic personality–yeah, maybe she was a female James Bond–he’s not very nice either, a cold blooded killer. Hardly a role model–indefatigable but inhuman, at least in my sort of job spec for the species.

“You realise that I could have your family simply disappear?”

“I don’t think you realise just who we are, Lady Totnes?” Simon told her.

“Oh, but I do, Scottish bandits who supported Charles Stuart.”

“We’re a direct line of Mary Stuart.”

“Sure you are,” she sneered back, “What are you going to do, stage a coup on Buckingham Palace?”

“Certainly not, we have an allegiance to Her Majesty.”

“What? You’re as big a turncoat as Winston Churchill.”

“I don’t think anyone is as big a turncoat as a Churchill, it’s one of their nicer qualities.” Simon could sneer as well as anyone.

“Never mind this crap, what about the children,” I said loudly.

“You and your stupid children, you can see why I didn’t have any of the wretched things.”

“I thought it was because no self respecting sperm would come near you,” I ejaculated back.

“Very witty, for a dumb scientist,” she laughed, “double entendre, as well. Very good.” Admittedly I’d missed that. But so what, as soon as she stopped the car I was going to kill her–the bitch.