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Most of you don't know me except for a few blog comments and sorry to say even fewer story comments.

Erin's appeal for donations got me to thinking. The first paragraph (in part) "…annual server contract for four of the BC/SD/TGF servers is coming due. These servers run BC, Stardust, TGFiction.Net, CrystalHall, qnez, TGLibrary, StorySite and a dozen other TG and TG friendly websites…." got my attention.

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Out and aboot!

So, i went out yesterday for lunch with my sister and some friends who were in town for the day. i have been trying to venture out as myself more and more. even when dressed down, i'm starting to get recognized for who i am and it's gladdening. my point is, even though i'm sure i gave some of the people some interesting dinner table conversation, everyone around were unceasingly polite and in most cases, downright friendly. This makes me feel good, however, i do feel sad for others like myself in the world who aren't as lucky as i am.

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back online (sort of) and big news!

Well, I'm back online, sort of. My brother put together an old computer for me to use, so I'm at least able to access most of what I used to. Unfortunately, Google docs is the one site that isnt working for me, so it will be a while before I have a new story ready, but ah, well.

Now for the big news!

I got a call from the gender doc's office, to go in and sign some forms saying yes I do want SRS, and now I have to go to my family doctor and get a physical and make a letter for the docs in Montreal who would be doing the surgery if all goes well.

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Update and freebie

Had a very busy summer - so far. Celebrating over 8,000 books sold, so a HUGE thanks to all those who forked out the vast amount of filthy lucre to pay for my books.

I am just about finished my book. WHISPERS IN THE SOUL. It is in the last few paragraphs, as I tidy the ending. I shall be sending it off for editing and then uploading it to Kindle in a short time.

Once it is ready I will post a teaser of the first chapter here.

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legal update - need advice

Okay, so here is the deal. I got off the phone with my lawyer not too long ago. There is an offer on the table. But I think I must remind you of the case first. I am being charged with not registering three email addresses, which I am legally required to do because I am a registered sex offender (took a plea because someone used my computer for something nasty and didn't want to spend 650 years in federal prison). Two of the email addresses don't exist, one hasn't existed since prior to having to register email addresses and the other never existed at all (at least not by me).

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New Story New Author.

This is both a big thanks to every writer who by there generous efforts posted to BC. I have been reading here for some years now and due to the gravitational pull of all the combined creativity I was drawn out to post a story inspired by a very generous cameo Bailey Summers wrote in Absence Opium and Honor. The character Michelle a nurse at the hospital Jamie was taken too after being pushed down the stairs. The interlude between Jamie and Michelle sparked a major shift in Michelle's attitude towards her life and how she was living it.

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Big server bill coming due in September

I'm not the world's best financial planner and it's caught me a little by surprise that the annual server contract for four of the BC/SD/TGF servers is coming due. These servers run BC, Stardust, TGFiction.Net, CrystalHall, qnez, TGLibrary, StorySite and a dozen other TG and TG friendly websites. If we pay annually, we save about 20% on the bill but that is a $1600 hit this time.

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Ooops! Posted the wrong chapter of The Jekyll Legacy

I apologise for my inadvertent posting of the wrong chapter of The Jekyll Legacy, and can only plead extreme fatigue, as I've been out rearranging the garage all day. I managed to toss my brain into the dustbin and have only just ran out and collected it before they hauled it away.

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Olympic Closing Ceremony

What an incrdible Olympics it has been. Well done to our neighbours in the UK for putting on such an event of that scale! Plus you had Russell Brand singing I Am The Walrus and Imagine by a huge choir, need i say more? It was all amazing and i'm gonna miss not having something to watch every day! Go on Katie Taylor!

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The coolest guy I know.

This post is about the closest friend I have in the world FO. I have known him for about seventeen years; we have been through a lot together and always stuck with each other. No one in my life knows about me but last night that changed. I don’t have to tell you folks that depression is a mighty powerful thing, the only outlet I have in my life to be me is this wonderful site and the friends I have made here. I had been getting less and less sleep because of nightmares and depression along with the day(ugh)job being a bitch. I have been debating telling FO for awhile.

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Jersey Boys

This is from OZ Land - Brisbane Queensland Australia: Just came back from a stage play based on the The Four Seasons-Frankie Vallie - The Jersey Boys.

What a great night!

Sherry, Big Girls Don't Cry, Walk Like a Man and lots more.

Did you know, that the BGees (from Brisbane) sent Frankie the music sound track for the movie 'Grease', and he (FV) wrote the words for the song!

If you want a great night out please consider if you like 1960's music, I know I do!

Rock & Roll, Twist, Jive, Limbo, Yes!

LoL
Rita

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hormone question

I recently (a little more than two weeks ago) started taking 1mg of Estradiol. (Evidently my body knew something was up in advance so my hormone levels weren't that far off to what they should be for transitioning). I notice lately that I've been having headaches. Not really headaches, but cerebral discomfort. Is this normal? I was thinking maybe with brain chemistry changing and all. I'm not in any pain, just concerned.

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fighting depression

The worst thing about having depression is that it tends to sap your energy, making it harder to do the kind of things that would relieve it. Like right now all I want to do is curl up on my bed with my dog and cry and feel sorry for myself about my computer, even though that would probably be the worst thing I could do.

I'll keep fighting the good fight, but its times like these that make me wish more of "team Dorothy" lived close enough to come give me a real life hug.

Ah, well.

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Nice number

Some authors play down the number of kudos they receive - they're not important or indicate anything.

I disagree, I enjoy everyone of them that you the readers give my efforts and just now they reached the magical figure of 77777.

Thank you to all of you who contributed.

Angharad.

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The newest Through the years is up

I want to work on more, but I shall be house and dog sitting. An old home, so guess what fool is taking his scariest video games and movies with him. See how much fun I can have tonight. The next part is only partly done, but I'm not sure if I shall take my computer or my XBox, may just take the Xbox so I don't injure my computer in the travel.

I shall attempt to make the next chapter as quickly as I can

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Feminism Ally

Hi everyone,
today while I surfed around on the net I found this site: http://playerversusfrustration.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/comp...

It's about a guy who wants to be a feminism ally and has suggestions for other "dudes" who also want to be a feminism ally.
First I thought it was Satire, but apparently he was serious.

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Anyone Know if Lisa Grey is still around and writing

Anyone Know if Lisa Grey is still around and writing. I just finished rereading her stories and was interested if there was more somewhere. One of my favorites was The Serendipity of Freedom. At the end of one version of the story she had a note "In the conclusion of The Serendipity of Freedom, Valerie and the task force go forth into enemy territory. Will Valerie once again defeat the odds and return home to Miri? Will the Terran Government overwhelm the dissidents, or will liberty and justice prevail? Find out as Valerie's story comes full circle. -- LCG"

just curious

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A warning about Facebook

I notice that lots of authors on BCTS are also on Facebook and some have friended me. I noticed some funny stuff going on about a month ago and then they said that they wanted each user to use their real name. Then I noticed that I was getting things in my email that were hostile, so I closed both my FB accounts down. I do not plan to return to them, and may open new email accounts if it gets worse.

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light humor

Was eating dinner when this popped into my head...

Congratulations on the birth of your son, son, daughter, daughter, son , daughter, son , daughter. WAAAPP

is your child.

Walter looked up from his computer who just informed him of his wife's delivery.

"Either my wife just gave birth to the worlds record in children or I'm gonna need serious therapy when my kid becomes a teenager."

Giggle couldn't resist *^_^*

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My computer has died

Well, I no longer have a computer. I tend to leave my computer in "sleep" mode because it has some problems with rebooting. Until last night, when a storm managed to knock the system for a loop, and nothing I've been able to do has brought it back. Sorry folks, but that means your not gonna hear from me much.

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Chapter 2 and an update

So here is chapter 2. Enjoy the read. This is where the plot really emerges and gets a bit crazier. Gotta feel for the poor guy.

As for the update, before the latest round of storms to come through I managed to get more writing done. Once the pain fades I should be able to get back to that and finish that chapter up, so hopefully a new Kit and Kin soon for you all, so long as my pain levels remain at good levels.

Well TTFN and TTYL.

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"Operation Rescue - The New Co-Ed" by Elrod W @ Fictionmania

Has anyone else here been following Operation Rescue - The New Co-Ed by Elrod W on the Fictionmania site? It is a fascinating and well written story. The first chapter was posted two years ago. Chapter twenty was posted today; and the story is not yet complete. I find myself going to the fictionmania site just to check for up dates to this one story.

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Four down and two to go

Somewhat to my amazement I have just posted the final chapter of my fourth full-length novel. Before I started posting to BC, two and a half years ago, I'd never managed to complete any of the six novels that I’d started writing. I would get so far and then become blocked, and so would start writing something else. I ended up with six partly written novels each one about 35,000 words in length.

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Scared of my anger

I was reading a story here, and when the main character remembered being raped, I was a little surprised at my reaction.

I got mad.

I mean really, really mad. Cold fury ready to hurt something, someone.

For just a moment, I was something dangerous before I managed to get it back under control.

I need a place to get rid of this anger safely, because I'm just a little scared of myself at the moment.

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Demonoid

Does anyone have any info on what may have happened to Demonoid? For a couple of days, when I tried to get to the site, I got server busy screens, no matter the time I tried to access. Then I got 404 errors, then I got other ad websites, now all I get is the standard can't find it page. I wonder if the Feds or allies finally got to them.

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CastleFest 2012

So... I went all out for this years castlefest, and I have to say I'm more then pleased with the results :)

For those who are wondering, Castlefest is a fantasy /Steampunk festival here in the Netherlands.

Amber2
Amber

edited to include the second pic.. something went wrong there

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Bobbie C....Yippee!

Just a quick update: Bobbie sends her regards, and might even blog very soon after this post. She's been spending much more time overseas for her job, including a lot of travel to other locations besides her home base. Much of her responsibility with her company has changed focus and even increased, so she's been very busy. She wants you to know she misses everyone and hopes to write here soon, as well as continue to add to Danny's story as well.

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A gain out of a loss

I had a bit of a frustrating experience yesterday, but as a result I managed to make some progress in dealing with my tendency to have negative self-talk.

What happened was this: I got ready to go to work last night, and somehow managed to lose my keys just before I was set to go. A frantic search with my mom turned up nothing, leaving us both frustrated and upset, but finally there was nothing I could do but take my spare keys and head out.

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Wassup?

So, this evening I find something new when I pop up on the site, a black "toolbar" across the top of each page. Most of it isn't functional (for me at least) or meaningless. It does have some kind of logout clickspot, and if I knew what it would log me out of I might try it. However, these days I lean towards the "don't f**k with anything unless you know what you are doing" option.

So, is anybody else seeing this thing or know what's going on? The Luddite in me just wants it to go away.

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Comments revisited,washed, rewashed, mended, you get idea

Its very hard for someone writing to know how they are doing lately as it seems the only comments are from the *core group* of like 8 people and the rest don't comment at all.

Kudo's mean nothing to a writer really its the feedback a writer craves. Okay its also about attention too, which for most of the tg community who spent most of their lives purposely NOT drawing attention to themselves you have to admit the craving for it in some small way is there.

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Approaching 1800

When I sit down and think about it, it strikes me as completely absurd that I'm still writing a story which was intended to last a few episodes, and is now just about twenty away from 1800. Five years ago if someone had asked me if I'd be able to do another twenty episodes, I'd have been far from confident about saying I could - now, it's taken for granted I will - both by readers and I suppose myself, as well.

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A public service announcement from Loki and Dustin...

Just to keep all who are interested informed, Dustin and I are still working on A Tale of Two Sirens. He and I both had real life get in the way for about a week and after it was all taken care of, we decided to avoid being in this situation again by not posting any more chapters of the story until all is said and done on the writing side of it.

So fear not, the story is very much alive and well. Things are acutally looking to get very interesting in the near future for Ashley and Danielle, so please stay tuned. ^_^

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Transitioning Home and other stuff

So, I am starting to post Transitioning Home. There are 36 chapters and I will be posting two a week on Tuesday and Friday. This will not take about 18 weeks to make it through everything and I hope you all enjoy it. Just so you all know, there is sex, violence, language, etc... It can get very intense and if you have triggers for some things this might not be the story for you. It is very realistic in dealing with war, trans issues, asshattery and the like. So, you are forewarned.

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Trouble Down on the (Server) Farm

If the site seems slow today or even goes up and down a few times, they are having equipment problems in the facility where we keep our servers. Our equipment is fine but they're going to be working on whatever caused the nearly three hour outage earlier this morning. Patience is the only coin we have.

Hugs,
Erin

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an apology

Since I began this blog, I've stated that one of my goals is to be as honest as I can about my journey, and therefore when someone points out something I've said here that's not honest, I need to deal with it, and here goes.

For the last several years, I've referred to the mother of my child in this blog as my "ex", and that is not accurate.

Yes, we are separated, and yes, we will never be a couple again, but the fact remains that in the eyes of the law, I'm still married to her.

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Female Trouble

Went to see my dermatologist today for my annual inspection and tune-up. After the main festivities, I thought to ask him about my thinning hair. I've been using the popular 5% spread on my noggin for the last six months or so, and I don't see much good happening, so I wondered if he had any ideas about what was going on.

"It looks like androgenic alopecia," he said, "and I'm not sure how to say this... It's diffuse and you don't have a receding hairline... I guess we'd have to say it's female-type."

Female pattern hair-loss. Oh, the irony!

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Now this was a great birthday

You may laugh at this, but normally my birthday is just the day, maybe go out to eat and that's that. Well I wanted to go to the game store in the mall and see if there was any cool video games out there that I wanted. Didn't see any, so I went to the music/movie store and hit pay dirt. I found the movies Surf Ninjas, Ferris Bueller' day off, Dudley Doright and E.T. and just had to get them. I haven't seen E.T. on dvd in a few years now and I've wanted to watch it really bad. I haven't seen Surf Ninjas for about 10 years and I loved it then, and then there was Ferris Bueller's.

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Cassandra Cass as Jessica Rabbit

Just ran across this through a link on Dan Shive's blog: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=129976793795300&set=a...

Cassandra is a model and performer who was also in the documentary Trantasia.

I guess anything is possible.

Hugs,
Erin

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for those wondering

I am still around just been busy. I was going to send the next part to through the years to be edited but I didn't get it finished. See I changed an idea or two and trying to fix things so it all works.

Also with it being my birthday I'm being carted around town. So maybe I'll be home soon and send it off to be edited if I get it done tonight

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New Story

Well I have just submitted part one of my new story as there were no takers on my request for a collaborator. I'll just have to see how it goes and if it doesn't suit then I'll discontinue it and try something else. If after reading part one someone would like to join me with the rest of the story I would be only too happy to accomodate them.
For those of you that are still waiting for me to continue stories that are still ongoing, I apologise as i have not been able to get my PC out of storage at this time, the person who is storing for me is still on holiday as yet.

Jacqui

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Epic Fai;

I tried my hand at a little erotica and transformation story, but I don't think my writing ability in that area was able to pull it off. I like the concept of Orgasmicur and was wondering if someone would like to attempt fixing it. I never saw a person transform while masturbating in a story, but it intrigues me.

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K,K,K,Ken is trying to K,K,K,Kill me!

Just watched "A Fish Called Wanda" its been awhile since I had seen it. Absolutely love this movie I forgotten how brilliant it was if you have never seen it I recommend finding it and watching at once. Gave me some much needed laughs today.

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Fashion

My brother and sister in law came over last night, and she saw my nails and was less than impressed with them. Not that I wanted painted nails, but my color choice was not a wise one, according to her. She said most women learn colors and age-appropriate styles in or before high school, because, in her words "teen girls are the most vicious creatures on earth".

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EOF's whereabouts

Just in case anyone's wondering where EnemyofFun has disappeared to... he's got caught up in events that took place a long time in a galaxy far away :)

Courtesy of a post he made to Google+ this morning:

Sorry for being absent for so long in my writing...I assure you nothing bad has happened. I've actually kinda got sucked into Star Wars The Old Republic. I did writing almost 5 pages of my latest chapter for Season...here's hoping I can take some time off TOR to actually finish off the chapter :)

So now you know :)

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The Constantine Affliction

Today I've run across a book by T. Aaron Payton, 'The Constantine Affliction.' It's a Victorian Steam-punk book with a strong TG element. Neither primary characters are affected, but several secondary ones are.
Since it is by Baen Books there are teaser chapters and can be purchased though their E-book service.

http://www.baenebooks.com/p-1703-the-constantine-affliction....

hugs
Grover

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Happy Birthday Erin!

How especially fitting that, following the recent unpleasantness here at Top Shelf, along comes a day that we all can appreciate, Erin's Birthday!

From a happy, satisfied customer, sometime writer, fan and a friend, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIN!!

May the next year be free from strife and full of the love that pours in from your family, friends, and all who enjoy and appreciate your hard work and dedication.

Birthday huggles, love and respect,
Catherine Linda Michel

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Lulu.com down?

Is anyone else having issues connecting to Lulu.com's website? I've not been able to connect to their site since Thursday evening... I can see their support page, but can't log in to leave any messages there either. If someone could let me know if it's just my problem or something others are having issues with I would appreciate it! I've tried another computer and emptying my cache, so I doubt it's just me... but checking. Thanks!
-Tiffany :-)

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Will I ever have SRS?

I was talking to a friend the other day, and she told me I would need to lose a lot of weight before they would give me surgery - something in the order of more than a third of my body weight, which is probably beyond anything I can achieve.

If that's true, it would mean I will have to be able to endure without it, and honestly, I dont know if I'm strong enough ....

But I'll find the strength.

I'll have to.

But you'll pardon me if I hope I get the surgery instead.

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2 years later...

Wow. Its been just past two years since I've logged into this account and checked this place out as my online personality. Between that time a lot has passed for me. For those of you who might remember me... hi. For those who don't or haven't met me, I've only got two other blog posts on here from two years ago, so getting to know what I was like two years ago shouldn't be too difficult. I'm... not really sure what to do or say. I think I might start from the beginning.

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Crossing a boundary

This is special. There was a dicumentary on Oscar some time ago, about how he has lived with the loss of his legs in childhood, and come to dominate 'disabled' running. There was also a long, long argument combined with a lot of research into whether his new legs gave him a competitive advantage over intact athletes.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/19126033

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Ocular Migrane

I just thought I would say this while I have a chance so nothing gets left unsaid. Just to be clear, last night I recieved nothing more than a a scare, according to the doctor, but my roomate won't let me out of her sight today, so it scared both of us.

So, no drama, but i just wanted to make sure that I told everyone here what a great bunch you are with the exception of one or two who get crabby now and again. I do not think that anyone here has ever had a cross word for me, even when I was spouting radical Islamic propaganda. :)

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Sleep.

Ok. After last nights nightmare I'm taking pills to try to sleep through the night. I hope to see you folks in the morning after a full nights rest. Twelve hour day tomorrow at the day(ugh)job.

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The Only Holiday in August

When I was a kid, the first Saturday in August was always a holiday. Just a family holiday but it usually involved a big party with cakes and presents. Why? Because six of us cousins had birthdays within a couple of weeks of each other and two other cousins (including my brother) had real birthdays near Christmas and so celebrated their birthdays with the rest of of us in early August. My birthday is Sunday this year, August 5th, but tomorrow is Summer Saturday, the only holiday in August!

Happy Summer Everyone!

Hugs to all,
Erin

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This is Big Closet

This is Big Closet: Top Shelf This is not any other website. I think that it would be good to remember that and that it is in poor style to discuss other websites on this site or to discuss this site on others, especially to gripe, complain, and be a general bitch about things.

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So, I'm Back In!

But why punish the innocent for the transgressions of a few? Why not just block them, forever if you like, and leave the rest of us be? I appreciate that it may be that I just don't understand what's going on. So, feel free to enlighten me, Erin or anyone else that cares to!

Yours from the Great White North,

Jenny Grier (Mrs.)

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I Agree With Erin

I have to agree with the creator of this wonderful website. I became a member to talk with people who felt like me. I will not take be told what I feel is wrong on this site or what to feel. I have now been talk to about this yet, so this is a warning to those who would. I have been around for 26 years, most of it in the military life. So I know how to take harnessment and I will report you. So can you know leave this site and leave us alone will you. I was not push into this at all, I came looking for people who felt like me.

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crushing

I can still remember the first crush I had. It was in 6th grade, and I sent her love notes using the name "little Neutrino" until the day I brought in the Klattu album where that name was from, and found out she had been sharing the notes with other girls.

After that, I was a bit more careful about my crushes, making pretty sure they never knew how I felt about them. Which was good, because I tended to pick girls who where 1 - in serious relationships, 2 - straight, and therefore not likely to swing my way, and 3 - totally out of my league in any case.

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as charged by myself

As in guilty as charged. Feeling guilty about not reacting mutch to the post here for one, thaking a leave of absence from the fleet for another and some other stuff.

Also don't get why peepz keep telling me I'm a great person. I really am not

Feeling way down and useless, >ad a lot ofother stuff <... All the stuff at work isn't helping either 'cause the keep pushing the 'useless' side of things.Missing that LGBT youth group. Heck missing every group I was ^part of.

Sorry to be buggingyou eepz with this

Lynne/Kai

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10 years of Little Katie

Upon opening the blog you should have heard a trumpet and balloons should have floated out of your computer along with confetti. If those things didn't happen, I am sorry that your computer must be defective and you should mail it to me and buy one that works the way I think it should.

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Shower Scene Research

Hi everyone,
I'm writing a new story and plan to write/need to write a nonsexual post-transformation shower scene. My muse is negleting me a bit - I think Karl is angry because it's nonsexual - so I'm looking for inspiration. I'd be really greatful if you could recommend stories that contain well written shower scenes.

thank you,
Beyogi

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Just finished watching a K-Drama.

Just finished watching "Boys Over Flowers".

Who else is as crazy about Korean Drama's as I am or just Asian Drama's in general?

Good, sometimes great stories with solid soundtracks easily. Very little overacting most of the time and the stories actually end! :D

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Decision time

Since I have decided I am going to hook my star to Tegan, the story I have been sending around with little effect for the last few years I am going to post on here. I want some one to read it as I am very proud of the story. So, come next week, after Whedonfest is over and I can breathe, I plan on releasing my story Transitioning Home.

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Legal Update

For those of you keeping track of the mess I'm in, here is an update. Maybe some of you can give me some feedback or suggestions.

I met with the lawyer today. It's the first time I had a sit down with him since the whole mess began. Right now there are 2 pressing issues... one, the charges against me, three unregistered email accounts that they say were suppose to be registered. Two, whether further charges dealing with files on my computer were coming.

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Anybody heard from Bobbie C

Anyone heard from Bobbie Cabot, is she still here or back in the Philippines. As the Philippines was hit by a bad storm Typhone/Hurricane and many were killed and missing. It hit the Minila area real hard and just want to know that she is OK!

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I want to die

I have come to the point in my life when I really don't see the point in going on another day, another hour, another minute. On the horizon, I don't see even a chance of happiness, or joy, or peace, or contentment. There is no one that I am close with or close to, and I don't really see that changing at all. Any trust that I have ever had in humanity has been squandered. I simply wait to see how the next person is going to take advantage of me, use me, and then discard me like the worthless item I have become.

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a funny moment at the bank

Had a very funny moment at the bank today. Went in to get some cash out for my mom, and the teller starts asking me my address and phone number, and suddenly I realize she is seeing my male name come up on the card and I'm wearing a skirt. So I tell her I'm transitioning, give her the information she needs to verify I'm me, and I get my cash.

Makes me wish I could afford to do the name change, but ah, well.

At least I got a funny story out of it.

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Shalimar update-She had her surgery yesterday

They did their work on the infected area on her left foot, and also lengthened the Achilles tendon on that ankle, so she will be hobbling around for quite a while. I'm taking in the walker she's used after previous surgeries today. The doctor thinks that is all she'll need to get around.

Holly

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having someone be "awed and amazed" by me

My friend Kylie took a little quiz, and one of the questions (and her answer) was this:

7) Who do you look up to?

My friend Dorothy. I am awed and amazed at her life. Not that she understands why.

I'm awed and amazed that she's awed and amazed.

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Edmonton Tornado 25th anniversary

Well, today is the 25th anniversary of the Edmonton Tornado, pretty much the worst natural disaster to hit this city at least in my lifetime. I managed to be out of town the day it happened, but the stories from family and friends about that day continue to move me all these years later.

Here's hoping there isnt another event like that in my lifetime here. Once was lots.

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