How do I put a title to this?

I know a person who is having difficulty. She says quite often " I can't be ..."

Well, this morning I was getting ready for church, and decided to try a LBD (That's a little black dress, dont you know).

This was originally intended to be a comment on a comment on a recent blog entry, but I was rambling and going WAY off topic, so here it is on its own.

I spent some time talking with my pastor today, talking about being trans, being a survivor of sexual abuse, where I am now, and my desire to find a way to give back to others for all the help I have been given.

A coupe of interesting things came out of it; first, she wanted to re-assure me that from the first time she met me she found I "radiated a feminine energy" so she had no doubt that I am a girl.

Transgender Home Coming Queen Makes History

The epiphany, the moment of mental clarity that allows one to cross the line that separates what could be or should be and accept what is.

The tour of Britain came to my area today.

I went out on the bike (not the pedal type) and saw them at three places.

When should we leave well alone?

Yesterday I got interviewed on Transition TV on the NotStr8 television station (now available on Roku). I will post the link as soon as I get it. After the show goes live, they edit and then post a cleaner version.

Being interviewed was quite interesting. Part of me wonders if I am playing make believe with some of the stuff that's been happening in my life. I feel I backdoored my way into the interview, but I guess I'm okay with that.

I had the day off and drove over the county border into Devon. The reason for my quest - see below.

Okay, so Tuesday night I go to work, and managed to pull a muscle in my leg. It gets bad enough I have to not work Wednesday night, but I came back last night despite limping pretty hard.

Sometimes I wonder.

I wonder what it's like to have someone "special." Someone to come home to, or someone who would come home to me.

I have been exchanging PM's with another author who thinks that expressed Rage can have a strong role in stories. His assertions have caused me to be quite thoughtful about the concept.

So shit hit the fan today.

Amy's parents basically told her that I don't care for her, that I'm not welcome as Family any more, and that she will probably be cut off from her family if she doesn't leave me.

And by leave me, I mean they gave her a deadline of next saturday (2 days after the amniocentesis).

Yesterday I found out on facebook that another trans woman had committed suicide, after I sent my prayers for her family and friends, all I could think of was "That could have been me." See, I'm in the 41 percent of trans people who have made an attempt on their own life, and it can only be described as a miracle that I am still here.

And that would suck, because then I would have missed out on all the amazing things that have started to happen since I started transitioning, and I would have caused grief and pain to the people I love for no good reason.

Like many people here I'm on a quest... Not really a quest for gold or fabulous treasure, but I think perhaps a more mundane one. I'm looking to improve my writing skills. Every story I write I learn something new and I'd like to keep this trend going, but I've hit a bit of a snag. One of my biggest weaknesses is that I lack a complete grasp on grammar. Virtually Twisted was my first foray into the world of TG and also the first yarn I'd written in quite a while. Something I think was painfully obvious when I first posted it.

One of the catwalk models at London Fashion Week has her GRS tomorrow. Here is the link:

Rachel76m need to reset her writing strategy.

Celebrate by dropping in on someone unexpectedly.

And remember, minds are like parachutes; they function only when open.

Nancy Cole

Hi

I added links to the bottom of my Halloween contest entry for the other stories in the "universe," if you will, of Henry Harrelson's Custom Fit Boots, in case anybody is interested in reading the other stories set there.

We're halfway through September and have half of our goal received for August. All gifts are appreciated and the money is being spent to either pay our ongoing hosting related bills, pay down debts accrued in keeping the site running for the last 14 years or pay Piper enough that she can forego other paying jobs to keep BC and related sites functioning. Some goes into the Server Fund intended to upgrade our hardware next year and what little is left over I probably spend on comic books and In-N-Out burgers. :) I also share donations received with other TS/TG sites and causes.

So far this Holy day season my rabbi concentrated on the idea "I AM my brother's keeper." I was thinking that I know three here who have unknowingly demonstrated to me that quality: Holly Hart, Penny Cardin and Gwen Brown. Among those mentioned by the rabbi was how four chaplains of the doomed WWII transport ship the Dorset gave up their life jackets and other items so that other soldiers could live. He also mentioned Mother Teresa who founded and maintained a hospital in one of the worse slums in the world, yet had a crisis of faith.

What or how do you work past an issue that makes you uncomfortable. It sounds trivial but for the life of me I cannot seem to, or want to, write scenes that can affect a childs' relationship with his/her parent. I can envision it but I'm unable to put it to paper. I've known several people that have had a poor relationship with theirs but mine was never like that. Its like a stumbling block for when I have to write it. It's essential to the story so there's no way for me to skirt around the issue. Unless the parent is a total bitch (which she is not) I cannot write it.

Here is another poem from Kylie:

I could say I love you as much as the sun is bright
But it is much too dim

I could say I love you as much as the winter is cold
But is much too warm

So a few things have happened over the last few days that I have found.....unbelievable in my mind. And being unable to physically voice them just puts the nail in the coffin, so to speak.

When Dorothy wrote about a recently-resurfaced memory of hers, in which she shows off a dress to her mother, I assumed I had nothing that was even remotely comparable from my own childhood. Now I'm not so sure.

Sorry, I should have mentioned that Show Me The Money is written by Richard R Carlson and you won't find it on Amazon under Arecee, Thanks

‘A Lion in Waiting’ is now available as a Kindle ebook from Amazon along with other works of mine.

The latest of the books to be published, it also contains 'Cold Feet at Christmas'

I stopped at a yard sale this afternoon and as I was browsing the items I saw a man longingly looking at a beautiful prom dress from a distance. It was a beautiful lavender glitter long gown. It was gorgeous and an old skinny part of me yearned for it but I doubted it could fit my calf anymore and besides, I could not think of a single place it could be worn.

Just a note to say, Show Me The Money, is now available on Kindle Books. Don't forget Assassin is available too. Thanks, Arecee

Hi, my darling readers!

Due to various non-bad reasons (me having been switched to another schedule at work, taking extra classes after that, and family, and so on) I'm getting dreadfully behind on my writing.

I don't know who started this but I think it's funny

Just an update note on how my health problems are progressing.

Marina and I feel that we owe a bit of an apology to those of you who felt let down with ending of Womanless Beauty Pageant.

I seem to have a knack for placing (sometimes not-so) subtle tributes in my stories especially my latest work, Battle for Earth. I have several characters named after actors/characters from The Simpons, Stargate SG-1, and Star Trek along with a not so subtle reference to Dirty Harry, and much more illusive one to Star Wars. For any of you that have read my story Incompatible there's a pretty sizable dream sequence (for lack of a better word) which is a tribute to the movie die hard.

over on my website at http://www.maddybell.com/Nena/nenahol13a.htm

I'm working on getting things together and edited for publication! This is exciting!

I will make no comment on this other than to suggest I found it significant.

In my humble opinion, a very well handled and TRUE depiction of how Transsexuals are treated by others AND by the law itself. Frightening, frustrating, and maddening... but true.

Cathy

New fuses, and a different parent...

It has gotten to the point where authoring is no longer a hobby. I have money coming in and money going out and I need to do a better job of keeping track of everything. Now that I am advertising I have money going all over the place and when tax time comes, I'm going to be screwed if I don't get things in order.

I wanted to write today.

I TRIED to write today.

Okay, I did write, a bit.

But not nearly as much as I wanted to.

I'm a pretty picky reader. To the point that I don't read or finish the vast majority of the stories here and on similar sites. I might start many of them, but then lose interest someway through.

Have several chapters of Maiden of Bronze finished, but proofing has been delayed. Body make over is moving along and havetwo other stories in line for final edits but spent 6 days recovering a new clients data from a crashed server sort of out of it, probably need to sleep for a couple of days data recovery finally complete.

sort of in a daze, will get the stories out soon, also getting the twins ready for orientation at CALTECH in a couple of weeks,

Love you All, Goddess Bless you all

Our Love is shared and returns to us stronger
and more abundent

has now actually updated at my site!

You can read the first part of Nena's holiday report report complete with some enlargeable pics!

http://www.maddybell.com/page600.htm

ttfn

Mads