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Small steps - finding my own style

Over the last months I did some more small steps.

Starting HRT, coming out to my mother and my siblings.
I still have to tell my eldest brother and my father, but this is not a real problem.

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messing with gender roles

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saw my gender doc today, and after it was over I went downtown on a whim. There was a festival called "The works" going on, which is a celebration of visual arts, and while I wondered around, I saw a big burly guy wearing a skirt. Nothing else was even slightly feminine, he wore socks and heavy shoes, a normal guy's shirt, and he had a beard (and hairy legs). I just wondered why the skirt. What message is he trying to send? "look at me, I'm different"? or is it "I'm such a manly man, I can look manly in a skirt"?

Too bad I was too much a chicken to ask ....

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DERP!!!

Okay...so...I try to be accommodating to my readers and I write this suppositional little tale based on 'Coming Out'. It is not a part two. The tale ended just where it should have; with a question. Now not only is it listed as a continuing chapter...but it has a different name. Derp!!! Someday I'll figure this all out.

I love you all...

Derp

PKB_003b.jpg <---this is what a derp looks like!!!

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Bonne Fête nationale du Québec

Bonne fáªte de la Saint-Jean Baptiste á  tous les Québéquois.

á  Lundi prochain pour la Fáªte du Canada.
á  Jeudi prochain pour le Jour de l'Indépendance.

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Book Listing Mixed Up

After I posted the third novel in my three-book series on Karen Hansson ("Becoming Karen"), I noticed that a new listing was created that listed the three novels in the wrong order. I did not create the listing, and wish that it were changed so that the books would be listed in the following order: 'To Be Or Not To Be,' 'Becoming Karen,' and then 'Karen's Magnificent Obsession.'

I've had several readers note the confusion. How do I change the listing? Or can someone change it for me?

Thank you, Katherine Day

The Thing about PRINTED books.

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OK, so I bought "Dance of the Bacca" and was really chuffed when I got it. The problem is that it is too difficult for me to read because I have tracking problems with my eyes and need the letters to be a half an inch tall, depending.

So, authors, when you publish a book, would you please give some thought to either making it an e book or selling me the computer version so that I can magnify it on my screen?

Much peace

Gwendolyn

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A second map has been posted

Hi all,

just a heads-up that I have now posted a second map in the Anmar Map Repository.
This one goes all the up to, but doesn't QUITE reach, Blackstone.

I hope it all helps.

Enjoy.

Di.

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Having some fun under a beach umbrella

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out down by the water with my SPF 50(freckle woman) Some boys down the way asked us to play volleyball with them. That was fun, had a couple of games, flirted a little though mostly between Jasmine and I. Of course they were probably trying to flirt with us, but Jas and I sort of ignored them and Rae and Jess well not a lot of experience with flirting. Then they started getting grabby, so we came back to our spot on the beach.

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Ebooks available outside of Amazon

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I have made several books available on Kobo and Smashwords. This is so I can branch out and see what else is out there. So far, it isn't looking promising, but I figured that may be because I haven't told anyone about it. So, here is the official announcement.

I will be making a total of 5 books available on other platforms. So far I have 4 on the kobo and 2 of them on Smashwords. I will eventually get to all 5 as a test run. These titles will be available:

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Cousin located. Phone conversation yesterday.

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Thanks to Pippa and her bulldog-like dedication, I DID locate and talk with my first Cousin in New Mexico. He was, of course, quite surprised to hear from me since it has been almost 35 years since last we spoke. Our separation wasn't for any personal problems, but more a case of moving around. Myself through the military, and him because of family and business opportunities.

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Floods in Calgary

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Although I was born in New Brunswick, I consider Calgary, Alberta to be my childhood home. I was there from age 5 until age 19, except for the year I spent in Denver, so we're talking 13 years in the city during my school years.

Well, right now, my childhood home is under water.

A flood the likes never seen before has hit southern Alberta, causing the evacuation of more than 100,000 people, and some brave souls have taken to Facebook to post pics of what the city looks like, and its ... devastated.

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Sorry no Bike tonight.

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Been out watching hedgehogs in my garden then had to listen to an hour long phone call from my needy friend. It's been an exhausting week, culminating in my working twelve hours yesterday and Tuesday. I am knackered, though enjoyed the hedgehogs - have a family of four zipping round the garden.

Hopefully normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

Angharad

05Dolce_Red_l_0.jpg

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Well Offically going to have

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Quadruplets. Great going to be as big as a Doll house, to short and thin to get as big as an actual house. Jasmine is really proud, told her not to touch me afraid they might multiply.

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My breasts hurt ....

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I started having pain in my breasts last night, probably meaning that I am about have a growth spurt. As much as I am happy to get a little closer to leaving the itty bitty titty committee, this is painful ...

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Stories

So a favorite litte birdy has informed me that a story called Bishop, another one in the works is a sequel LONG LONG overdue to No Obligation, and for you Whedon types a new Firefly chapter to boot....

Same little birdie also may need so encouragement and cheering from the peanut gallery to get her in the right frames of mind to get at them.

So p;ease everyone clap you hands and say "I do believe in fairies. I do believe in fairies..." May not help, but at least I'll feel better :)

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a reconciliation with my brother?

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Well, my brother has made some moves toward us moving past some of the hurts from the past. It all started when I sent him a message thanking him for coming to my poetry reading, and I talked about something he had mentioned at the time, that he felt like he was mourning the death of his brother Todd. I said that if you want to think of it that way, Todd laid down his life so I could live, so he was a hero.

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Anyone out there in Albequerque N.M.?

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I'm trying to locate my cousin who, at last knowledge, was living there. I am, when it comes to using search engines on the internet, a complete dummy... clueless if you will. If you live there or near there, please contact me for his name. I haven't seen or heard from him in over 30 years and we were, or at least seemed to be, close pals when we were kids and teens.

Thanks in advance.
Catherine Linda Michel

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Gender reassignment surgery

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In September of this year I will be undergoing Gender Re-assignment Surgery. I met with DR. Sherman Leis in Bala Cynwyd today and we set the date. I am healthy in all aspects and am ready to make the step I have been waiting to make for a long time. The Surgery will take place in Philadelphia. I have met with Dr. Leis several times. I made my decision based om location, availability and if an emergency arises I am close to the surgeon.
I have met some of his patients and they speak highly of him. I do trust him and have saved the money for the surgery.

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Surprise

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So... some of you might have noticed the fic I posted. Yeah... it was a surprise to me too. Ranma literally mugged me this morning and made me write and edit this today. It's fun and is a nice Epilogue to that story. It's not being helpful in other ways but it's at least something.

I can't remember if I told you all when I sprained my wrist? That had me out for like 5 weeks. Once that was gone I strained my ribs while sleeping. While effing sleeping! If only I could fire my body and hire a new one. Oy! But other than the pain how was the play Mrs. Lincoln? ;)

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Extra Time

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I am working on the final episode just now. It has been delayed as a result of an argument with myself as to resolution, as well as real life problems of an unpleasant nature, but it will arrive shortly.

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Help get me ready for the Trans wedding of the century

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The wedding between J. Felix and Katie Leone is definitely going to happen. We are aiming for late summer 2014. This gives people plenty of time to save money for travel expenses and the such. I know Dorothy wants to be a bridesmaid and I've asked Jenn C.. I am dead set on having Erin Halfelvin (because I never know if I should use her real name) to be my Matron of honor. We are getting set to go into premarital counseling. I've got a dressed picked out. But there is a lot to prepare for in a little over a year.

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Cally, Feb 01(?) 1995 to June 19, 2013

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Had her euthenized 12:30 PM.

Was in heart failure. Kidney vaulues off the chart. Had to dilute it to even get a reading. Fluid around lungs. Body temp 5 to 7 degrees below normal.

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I'm dancing a merry jig/story update

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So... I know some people aren't going to understand this, but I'm rather happy I've finally figured this out and I need to share. (I'll post a story update below so that the whole blog isn't a complete waste). I've been driving myself up the wall trying to figure out a discrepancy in word count between Scrivener and a compiled document when loaded in MS Word or Libre Writer. Scrivener, is a word processor geared toward writers and is probably the best the purchase I've ever made. It let's you organize your story into sub-documents which can be dragged and dropped anywhere you like.

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Our cat is entering end game I fear

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I have a vet appointment for our two 18+ year old cats today.

The girl, Cally hid in the basement over night.

She is so frail and does not appear to be eating much.

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Sadly...

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Life is going to be getting very busy for me here soon, and staying busy for quite some time to come, so I need all the time I can get prepare myself for it. Time that otherwise would have been spent penning out stories. This is to say that I'm leaving BC/TS and that I don't know when, or even *if* I'll be coming back. Should that day come, I'll see you all then. If not, then it's been a fun ride and I thank you all for tolerating me here.

Toodles.

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The Children's Book Project - New info

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As some of you may know, I've been trying to get my children's book done. I finally got some preliminary drawings of the first two pages and have added them to the story file. Unfortunately, I can't move the story back to the first page and don't want to repub something as new that isn't.

So, if you want to see the new artwork for But I'm not a Boy, please take a look. The link is here, http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/43417/but-im-not-boy

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Is Marina Twelve still actively writing?

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It seems I'm coming across a lot of unfinished stories on my hard drive lately. I recently read Marina Twelve's hard hitting space saga 'The Last Frontier' and 'The Last Frontier - 100 over 10'. While doing so I also found two stories in the same universe that Marina had started but never returned too. They were 'TLF - The fifth Vector ch.1' and 'TLF - Dark Matter ch.1'. Hopefully she's not gone from the community and one day will pick up her gritty and gripping stories again!

Blossom

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My New Tale...

I am currently in the midst of another massive literary undertaking when I got the urge to take a break. I felt the need to write a little tale about coming out. There has been much in the news this past year or two about various people coming out about their sexual, and gender, choices. I have always had strong opinions about coming out but I’ve yet to really set something down in words. Thus…this new tale.

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Running naked in my dreams?

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Well, last night I had an interesting dream. I was taken to a busy street corner, and asked to deliver a package that had a towel, a facecloth, and a hand towel. The challenge was, I was naked.

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Too descriptive

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Some of you know that I have been working on a very frank and blunt autobiograpy. In the initial chapters there is a character who was extremely angry, violent and abusive. He swore constantly. I plan to publish this on the open market, using my old name. I think it will piss some of the family off, hopefully.

So in describing this individual do I use all the swear words that he did, or should I just try to explain how profane he was?

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Appreciative

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I wanted to thank everyone who responded to the other blog. That's one thing so wonderful about this site is how supportive we are with one another. While other sites try to tear others down, we are building each other up.

I am in a little bit better mindset. Felix and I are brainstorming things we can do at home to help. I may do one of those kickstarter promotions in order to get the piece of exercise equipment I need (I find that I don't lose weight with just dieting and I don't live in a neighborhood where I can simply walk around without being accosted.)

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Well If All We're Going To Do Is Remake Stuff...

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Superman. Not a story but a franchise. As predictable as a McDonalds and just as hard to swallow. Give Lex Luthor a lump of that colour kryptonite that removes his powers permanently, or make Lois Lane his sworn enemy and I might be persuaded to change my mind.

In the myriad ice ages between now and when they finally decide to do something original in Hollywood, here's an idea for a remake.

I'm still waiting for this babe to get her own show. I fell in love with her when I was 9 and you know what they say about first love.

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Heard more of the family are ill

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I have heard through various sources that other writers, as well as others that are part of the Big Closet family are having a rough go of things lately. Some are having physical issues and some are mental issues and are hurting. To those people I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Let you find the strength and love to overcome these challenges that are facing you all while knowing that the BC family is with you.
HUGS!

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My thoughts on Man Of Steel!

I came back from the cinema last night feeling like an utter child after seeing Man Of Steel. It was an enjoyable summer blockbuster and I liked the new direction and tone they took with the new Superman. To me, it felt like two movies in one. The first movie being an OTT sci-fi epic and the second being a story about a tortured boy trying to find relevance in this world. I preferred and enjoyed the latter more so than the headache inducing finale.

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Why I am killing myself

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I am killing myself. I didn't mistype that and I don't think I'm being melodramatic. I am slowly and certainly killing myself and the truth is, I'm not that far away from succeeding. I think I decided sometime that I really have nothing left to live for so why even bother going on. Thing is, life has changed for me, and this time for the better, but my mind and body hasn't gotten the message.

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Am I being too optimistic?

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Am I being too optimistic in checking on Crystal's Story Site each day? I've taken her at her word that she's restructuring the entire database and will one day finish. However, it's been since March of 2009 since there's been any news. Does anyone know... Is Crystal still working on it, or has it been just too much to accomplish and maybe I should give up looking at the "What's New" page for an update?

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Helped out at church today

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Halfway through the service at church today I got asked if I would mind helping pass around the collection plate. I was honored they would trust me, and grateful for an opportunity to contribute.

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Final words on BB: Heroes

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This story has been an emotional roller-coaster for me, and mostly toward the depression side. I've gotten lots of comments, both good and bad, in the feedback and in my blog. That's the relatively benign stuff. What y'all don't see is the PMs and private e-mails that I've gotten, some of which are extremely hateful and/or spiteful.

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SEE Universe

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Well, it seems I now have a Universe tag, assuming anyone else is daft enough to want to write a story set on Anmar.

I have written up some universe rules but I would rather not make them public just yet, as there could be (of necessity) spoiler material inside. If anyone wants to have a go at a story, then PM me and we'll have a conversation.

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Policy change from the Social Security Offices?

I found this through my local Trans support network.
TRANSGENDER PEOPLE AND THE
SOCIAL SECURITY ADMINISTRATION
June 2013

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San Francisco International LGBT Film Festival includes Hayw

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I know I do not live in the San Francisco area any more, but after 67+ years, I still follow the news from th San Jose Mercury News.

This item caught my eye.

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I Had An Interesting Dream Last Night

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I had an interesting dream last night. I dreamed I was staying over at my friend, Tracy's house and trying on clothes. I was wearing a pretty pink dress and looking at myself. I was a teenage girl! I looked just like I would have if I had been born genetically female. It felt like an alternate universe type of thing, but it was so nice! In the dream, I also had a conversation with her mother and she was treating me as I was another daughter and it felt wonderful!

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Apparently, I f'd up in Bikini Beach: Heroes

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In BB: Heroes, I obviously screwed up conveying the message I intended. Comments, both here and on another site, are either love/hate, and the comments I've received privately indicate an extremely strong dislike for the story.

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surprise question at the doctor's office

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I just got home from going to the doctors, and I have to share what happened. I've been fighting a cold the last couple of days, and even stayed home from work last night, so my mom insisted on me seeing the doc. So I go, and once I'm there this nice female doctor starts doing her thing, and after checking my breathing, and doing the "ahh" thing, she asks me some questions. The last question she asked me threw me though.

She asked "And how are your periods?"

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Exhausted and hurting

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Well, I've just spent the last 6 days working hard to move. But we got it all done and just got home about 30 min. ago. I'm exhausted and started getting dehydrated, so we stopped and got some drink on the way home. I ache all over from my neck all the way to the bottom of my feet (my feet normally hurt due to my disability). My daughter was a big help and she's been sick since yesterday. But thank God, we are now done.

Tomorrow will be a day of rest and starting to recover. :)

I hope you all are doing well. :)

Hugs,
Mark <3

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Tanya Allan is now publishing direct to KOBO

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In answer to all those who have asked me to publish in any other format other than Kindle. I have now taken steps to publish in ePub format direct onto KOBO. Incidentally, the system is as easy as the Amazon Kindle publishing site, so I will try to get all my books onto KOBO soon.

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"Misfile"

I have been reading a web comic called "misfile" and its amazing. Its the story of a boy whose life gets misfiled into the girl drawer by a slacker angel, and how he/she deals with the results. If you read it, be prepared to want to sit and finish it in one setting like I wanted to ....

Here is the link:

http://misfile.com/?date=2004-02-22

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Six years 52 weeks

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That's what it says on my author page. Has it been that long? I suppose it has given the number of stories posted although my rate has decreased. I've had personal issues that has arisen. That's why I have to apologize for not responding to comments as well as I used too. Believe me I cherish each one, but just trying to keep writing is taking all of my energies.

So just so it is said a very big thank you to everyone who comment on "Who do that Hoodoo," "Rising of the Queen," and "Waking the Dreamer."

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What Happened to the Taylor Project?

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So, what happened to the Taylor Project? It's probably been noticed that I haven't posted an update in months. Part of it was getting slammed at work. More of it was just me falling into a funk. What seems to kill my writing every time is I reach a place where every word I type seems lame and not worth reading. I'm trying to move forward again. It's not going easy, but I mean to push through and write an ending, even if it is a little lame. That's my great failure of a write, not finishing a work. This time I plan to finish.

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The Family Girl #060: Six Years of Being Happy


 
Six Years of Being Happy:
A Little Tribute, and "Thank You" to Holly "Happy" Hart
organized by Bobbie Cabot and Drea DiMaggio
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I have a question

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What I would like to know is how you would like my next story posted? As usual It will be long so I'd like to know if you would like it done in chunks like Twins, around twenty thousand words per posting, or by the chapter once a day. I've had complaints either way, the post was too long, or I'd like to see a chapter every day but short. I'll leave it up to you because I haven't broken the story into chapters yet and will do that during the first edit. I won't start posting for some time because the story is just getting started and it's over thirteen thousand words long already.

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Jaci is okay!

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Well, Jaci phoned me today, and she's doing okay. She's had her surgery, and other than being in pain, she's in good spirits, and Ruth is there helping her out.

(Dottie does a happy dance.....)

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Wow - I'm Still Here - What a Waste

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Woke up to dingy stained ceiling tiles.
First, they had pumped me out.
Then, they chewed me out.
Then, they threw me out.

Right back to where I had started.
A rudderless ship.

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The predictions of my demise were greatly exaggerated by me.

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Irrational fears. We listen to them all the time, they are fears we cant get past. Fears that keep us back afraid, fears that have the power to paralyze us from acting. These fears kept me in hiding for thirty-three years. I was so afraid that my world would come crumbling down I hid, terrified of loss.

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Transactive.org

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So, I had a meeting this morning with the Diversity folk up at OHSU that seemed relatively fruitful, though along the way, I started to feel somewhat like the FtM folk are doing all the talking, and the MtF folk are strangely silent.

Then she suggested that I get in touch with a group called Transactive.org, she, thinking that I would make a great volunteer there. On their web site, they spend a lot of time talking about "binders", but no time talking about male GRS.

I almost feel like they have literally taken over. I wonder why more MtFs are not being heard from?

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