I know this is old, but it might still bring about a chuckle or two.
Engineering Conversions:
1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2. 200 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
3. One millionth of a mouth wash: 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a banana peel and hitting the pavement: 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot furlong
7. 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year
8. 16.5 feet in the twilight zone: 1 Rod Serling
9. Half a large intestine: 1 semicolon
10. 1000 aches: 1 kilohurts
11. Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarse power
12. Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
13. 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
14. 1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
15. 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
16. 2000 mockingbirds: Two kilomockingbirds
17. 10 cards: 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
19. 1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations: 1 decoration
23. 100 rations: 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms: 1 diagram
25. 8 nickels: 2 paradigms
26. 3 Statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 IV League
27. 100 senators: Not 1 decision
Comments
Late Arrivals At The Ball
(As featured in the long-running BBC Radio 4 show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue)
Ladies and gentlemen, will you please welcome...
Mr & Mrs McCavity and their son Phil
Mr & Mrs Ickle-Stocking and their son Serge
Mr & Mrs It, from Australia, and their English grandmother (their Pommie gran It)
Mr & Mrs Looking-Glass and their daughter Trudy
Mr & Mrs Abag and their daughter Carrie
Mr & Mrs Wall-Carpeting and their son Walter
Mr & Mrs Hunt and their son M...
We've had quite enough of that, thank you very much!
Miles of Smiles....
Portia,
Thank you,
Olivea
For those in the Medical Profession
two physicians on a golf coarse: paradox
if their ball are on opposite side of the hole: orthodox
a cat in the water: catalog
if a person had a heart attack while playing ring toss: dead ringer (I know that's bad)
a hat on a windy day: Gone With the Wind
a telegram from your mother in Ireland: mam o'gram
If Pru Walker was still visiting these sites she have a list a mile long.
Hmmm...
Would moving eight nickels from one place to another be a paradigm shift?
Spilling four pints of polyurethane onto your kitchen work surface might give you a shiny quarts counter top.
If you paved your driveway with fewer stones than your neighbor would it be the road less graveled?
If a guy named Bob infiltrated a company for the purpose of industrial espionage would he be a Robert Plant?
If I tossed and turned all night because the neighbor repeatedly played a CD by a trumpeter named Davis all night, would it be Miles to go before I sleep?
Would you like to throw a shoe at me at this point?
Love, Andrea Lena