As I am kinda going through the same thing atm.
I wish you luck in gathering your courage, because in helping someone through the same difficulties might help me talk to my own doctor...

*Hugs* you will get through this and then be happier (I'm not going to say something stupid like your depression will magically disappear but I hope a weight will lift from your shoulders.

Xx
Amy

I started therapy a few times over the years, trying to deal with depression and anxiety at various times. I never opened up about my cross-dressing, about gender, or about anything to do with sex, and what do you know? Therapy never accomplished that much.

After I started reading the TG story sites, I got even more depressed about things, checked out my medical plan, found out I was covered for therapy and decided to try again. Of all the therapists I had tried, the only one I had ever really felt had possibility was a LCSW/MSW, so I searched for one of those. My other criteria was that I wanted it to be a woman, because I just didn't feel like I could talk to a man about the things I needed to talk about. I also picked out someone about my own age, hoping again that it would be more of a peer relationship which would make it easier to talk. And frankly, I got lucky, but not on the first try. I dropped the first one after one visit, without telling her anything. Just didn't feel she was a listener. Clicked with the second one, and spilled my big secret on the first or second visit.

Once I started talking, and found that the therapist was accepting and non-judgmental, I realized just how much time and energy I had squandered holding all that in as a deep, dark secret for so many years. She really helped me a lot, even though we're not talking about any big outward changes in my life. It helped my relationship with my wife, too, to be able to talk to her about what I talked about in therapy. She saw how much it had taken a toll on me, and became much more supportive.

I stayed with that therapist for a few years, and was able to work on some more ordinary things as well. MSWs can't prescribe drugs, but working with my regular doctor, we tried a few things for anxiety, and that got me to a better place. I'm not taking anything now, I seem to be handling some moderate stress well, and I'd have to say that I was definitely helped.

Having gotten past my own shame and worry about who/what I am, I was able to come out as an activist working for LGBT rights. My church is extremely supportive and has a nice group. (It's a pity I'm too lazy to get up early enough on a Sunday morning to prep for an outing, because I'm certainly welcome there en femme.) Being able to publicly support LGBT equality efforts has made a huge difference to me. I feel so much more whole to be able to put my politics where my empathy lies.

I've written a bit here about how I managed to step out into the world in my alternate presentation. It was something I had to do. Having done it, and realizing I can do it, I don't feel the same need so much, and haven't done so in a couple of years, but I do feel a lot more confident in who and what I am.

I've been shopping for new clothes a bit lately, and have found a few pieces that might make the basis for a new outfit or two, so there's a chance I might get out again soon. Either way, though, I definitely owe a lot to that therapist and to the fact I came to the realization that if I didn't open up and speak frankly about what was bothering me, I wasn't going to get anything out of it.