There is something standing in the way of me truly being happy and that is my fear, or phobia, of happiness.

I'm back from holiday and will resume posting soon. I have a sick neighbour to nurse.

It's probably just a coincidence. But I'd like to think this is a nudge-nudge wink-wink from Teddi. Hey, you never know, right?

Which involved some walking there and back, plus a bike ride this morning against a strong wind. So, I'm just starting to scribble tonight's Bike, if I can stay awake.

I had an interesting dream last night. I dreamed I was staying over at my friend, Tracy's house and trying on clothes. I was wearing a pretty pink dress and looking at myself. I was a teenage girl! I looked just like I would have if I had been born genetically female. It felt like an alternate universe type of thing, but it was so nice! In the dream, I also had a conversation with her mother and she was treating me as I was another daughter and it felt wonderful!

In BB: Heroes, I obviously screwed up conveying the message I intended. Comments, both here and on another site, are either love/hate, and the comments I've received privately indicate an extremely strong dislike for the story.

Shown without comment:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/12/nicole-maines_n_342...

shalimar

In answer to all those who have asked me to publish in any other format other than Kindle. I have now taken steps to publish in ePub format direct onto KOBO. Incidentally, the system is as easy as the Amazon Kindle publishing site, so I will try to get all my books onto KOBO soon.

Did you ever stop to think that there's no possessive form of That? There is, on the other hand, a possessive case of who.

That's what it says on my author page. Has it been that long? I suppose it has given the number of stories posted although my rate has decreased. I've had personal issues that has arisen. That's why I have to apologize for not responding to comments as well as I used too. Believe me I cherish each one, but just trying to keep writing is taking all of my energies.

So just so it is said a very big thank you to everyone who comment on "Who do that Hoodoo," "Rising of the Queen," and "Waking the Dreamer."

Well, Jaci phoned me today, and she's doing okay. She's had her surgery, and other than being in pain, she's in good spirits, and Ruth is there helping her out.

(Dottie does a happy dance.....)

Woke up to dingy stained ceiling tiles.
First, they had pumped me out.
Then, they chewed me out.
Then, they threw me out.

Right back to where I had started.
A rudderless ship.

is now available through Lulu!

Book http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/gaby---wunderkind...
Digital http://www.lulu.com/content/e-book/gaby---wunderkind-part-2/...

Irrational fears. We listen to them all the time, they are fears we cant get past. Fears that keep us back afraid, fears that have the power to paralyze us from acting. These fears kept me in hiding for thirty-three years. I was so afraid that my world would come crumbling down I hid, terrified of loss.

Hello everyone!

So, I had a meeting this morning with the Diversity folk up at OHSU that seemed relatively fruitful, though along the way, I started to feel somewhat like the FtM folk are doing all the talking, and the MtF folk are strangely silent.

Then she suggested that I get in touch with a group called Transactive.org, she, thinking that I would make a great volunteer there. On their web site, they spend a lot of time talking about "binders", but no time talking about male GRS.

I almost feel like they have literally taken over. I wonder why more MtFs are not being heard from?

Bet you thought I'd crawled into a hole or something. In truth, it was all Star Wars fault. I never realized how engrossing MMORPGS could be but now I'm back. I just finished writing Ch. 2 of I Bump Back and hope to have it posted within the day. I just thought I'd drop a line here to let everyone know that I haven't abandoned my writing duties lol.

The writing bug hit again, and this time, it demands a band - so my problem is that I need a good name for a fictitious band. Nothing real, but cool-sounding name. I hereby open the floor to suggestions. Winner gets - (drum roll please) - credit in the story. Sorry, but my bank account won't go for cash prizes.

A week or two back I stated I had to leave for personal reasons. Well it seems I'm not gone.

Soooo, In an addition to my last blog, good news actually happened. My Therapist sent me an email awhile back that she forwarded from a couple of Transwomen in my area trying to set up a transwomen support group for ages 17-35. I thought I'd give it a try, extend an olive branch so to speak to help get their group off the ground and once again get a support group after Smyrc dropped me for being too old. After a few tries of getting to the group and failing, They invited me to hang out with them. Extending the olive branch back to me. I will admit, I was a bit nervous.

Where do I belong?

My body says that I'm a man. my heart, mind and soul tell me that I'm a woman.

She Kicked Jasmine out this morning when she found out that Jas still wanted to wear skirts. Pushed her out the door without er purse and refused to give it to Jas. SHe got s neighbor to let her use the phone, I arranged a room for her and she wants to come home so We plan on going to get her.

My Aunt, and Dr Ugenni(OB) stopped n, she took blood, and said I was healthy, and the girls are too. My last marked period was 9 weks ago so I am either pregnant or just forgetful to have recorded it, but nother 3 Home checks said positive so starting to believe that I am.

This is important news from our brothers and sisters in Greece. This needs to be spread widely.

In this case the mispronunciation defines the creature better:

http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/44785/my-side-stories-i-n...

A news story on the BBC.

Sweden male train drivers wear skirts after shorts row

after aking a walk through the Myst with the Twins, think they may have a gift for it they saw things first time that Idid not notice for years.

I have information pertenant to just you, and could save you considerable pain...

Gwendolyn

Rather Ill, Have reclaimed my Children, they really did not wish to leave.

It seems that Somewhere Else Entirely has turned, without me realizing it, from a simple tale to a small industry. I have helpers tabulating names and places, proof-reading and even making maps! I even have a reader who wants to write fan fiction!

This story is no longer a one-author endeavor. What could or should I do here?

Hi Everyone,

The other day my mom took me out for lunch, and as we entered the restaurant, I noticed a young man (Mid 20's at a guess) wearing a suit and tie. It suddenly occurred to me that a man in that outfit is .... interesting. He was handsome enough that I'm sure I would have done the double look no matter what he was wearing, but the suit really added something.

I'm just glad that the fact I did the double look doesnt freak me out as much. Still freaks me out, mind, just not as much ....

Ah, well.

So... I'm at a store where I shop regularly. Well, maybe I'd better preface this. First of all, my transition has gone so smoothly that I can't believe it. There have been a handful of people I knew "before" who haven't accepted it, but almost everyone has simply adjusted and moved on with their lives with me still in them.

Wow! My thirty-fifth book has now been published. Considering I started publishing only two years and two months ago, that's not bad (even if I did 'post' several before that).

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #59: Identity Theft! To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

A little while ago (June 5, 10:58pm eastern) I got an e-mail from Laika. From out of the blue, actually.

Her e-mail was a little funny - it didn't have a subject-title, it was also sent to four other people that I didn't know (who is DALENEK1 anyway), and the e-mail's content was just a hotlink to an ad about a raspberry diet supplement.

And a few minutes after that, my iPad started asking me to re-confirm/re-enter the passowords for my other e-mail profiles. Hmmm... that's funny. Anyway, I didn't, and nothing bad happened when I didn't re-enter the passwords... Hmmm...

I cannot therefore help but think that Laika and I were being spoofed.

For the curious, here is a link to a Youtube copy of the first episode of "Shezow", the cartoon about a boy who becomes a girl superhero.

OOPs, I put some art that has been sitting on my computer for a long time on my Facebook page and it so magnified it that I now see that what I thought was a belt buckle was actually a Copyright mark. My eyesight is not wonderful.

So, I'm trying to find a way to contact FB about it to take it down, so if anyone can help me with that ????

If anyone knows M. C Krauss, please extend my apologies.

Sorry

Gwen

Former Navy Seal Kristin Beck was featured on the John and Ken show on KFI. Missed the show as I can't stand them, but I will give a listen later. Give her some support on their page, leaving her a message. http://www.kfiam640.com/pages/johnandken.html?article=11354528

My heart is really heavy tonight. I am deeply troubled. Those with no faith in God, or are too hurt to acknowledge it may want to just stand down on this one.

Heard an advertisment for a book just released by Kristen Beck called Warrior Princess. It's the story of her transition and previous life as a Navy Seal. It might be worth a look, Arecee

I am surprised that someone did not blog this, so for those of you who might have missed this, here you go.

http://www.standard.net/stories/2013/05/30/first-transgender...

As a writer, I love words. I love trying to learn where they come from, how they came to mean what they mean, how some words have changed meanings over time, and how some words can have deeper and stronger meanings to a single person.

One word that's like that for me is the word "rape". I always use it to describe what happened to me over "molested", because for me, what happened fits "rape" better. "molested" sounds softer, somehow, only "rape" seems to have the meaning I need when talking about what happened to me.

The last couple of days have given me a chance to practice my social skills, and that's a good thing. First, I went to see the new "Star Trek" movie with one of my co-workers and a friend of hers, and that went fine, and then today I got put in charge of the coffee pot for the little coffee-and-snack thing we do after service, and as we had a group of visitors, that was interesting. It also went very well, and doing well in these kinds of situations is great, especially since that before this, my tendencies would have been to either act like a buffoon, or retreat into a corner.

I was looking on Amazon and noticed a one star review for the transsexual and the cross. At first I thout the religious right had struck and was going to take it as a badge of honor. Instead, the reviewer said that no one from the lgbt community should read it and then accused me of being homophobic and transphobic. I am totally pissed off.

I would appreciate if a few people would come to my defense.

This is a good video of how SRS is done. On me they re routed the vas deferns to the posterior of the faux vagina. Though I did not understand the vocabulary too well on the new proceedure, it appears as if part of the vagina is now lined with mucus producing flesh to provide moisturization.

Notice how the cavity for the faux vagina is formed. It looks like a shovel handle he's using. :)

On the one year checkup, notice that in this case, the vaginal depth seemed to be 3" or less. Do not expect to be making any porn videos with a 14 inch penis.