You ever get tired of hearing me complain?

So do I.

I wish I didn't have things to complain or whine about.

I am falling into a deep dark place. Every time it seems my life is going good and I actually get a step ahead, everything gets taken away or the very real threat is there. Once again I am being bothered by the law. It is bad enough that they arrested me because they thought Big Closet was an Email account (I took 6 months probation instead of face 5 years in prison). But last week I found out that since the local police couldn't find anything to charge me with, they passed the case to the FBI. The FBI are the ones who arrested me a decade ago for a crime that happened when I wasn't even in the same state that it happened in. I don't know why the police detective let me in on this bit of information, but it has me bothered and frightened. I don't want to lose everything and I don't want to lose Felix. All I was told was that the FBI investigation was closed. I don't know what that means. Are they coming for me? Or did they find the same amount of nothing that the local police did. It is the same issue, I don't know what the crooks did on my machines. I know they called the cops on me, I know they tried to steal my house, I know they emptied my bank account of several thousand dollars that I never recouped. Am I going to lose my freedom too?

I don't have a glamorous life. I own a shitty little house, but it is paid for. I was thinking all this was over, even though I didn't get my property back. I was willing to wait the three years for the statute of limitations to run out and ask for it then. Then I get a call. The crooks want their property back (they claim several things not theirs, but oddly enough don't claim a few laptops that are theirs). I don't know what to do. I'm tired of living in fear. I was hoping to build a life with someone, now I am hoping not to lose the little I have.

I just don't understand the system. When you are innocent, they nail you to the wall. When you are guilty (like the crooks) you get off Scott free. It is almost too much to bear. I am going to sleep, and, to be honest, a part of me hopes I don't wake up. I don't know if my relationship to Felix can survive me going to trial or heading off to prison. It's not fair to him either.

I'm done now.