spent some time with my friend Cheryl Teddy Thomas, and it was wonderful.

Her little dog fell asleep on my chest, and I confessed that my mom's paranoia is draining me of spoons, something I've avoided confronting.

I needed both.

Just re-read the story by Daphne about a 12 1/2 year old boy that self castrated himself. I was planning to do the same in 2004 but found a Urologist to do it for $1000 cash. It's a good thing I did because here, where I live self castration will get you a long stay in the State Insane Asylum. I've always had a quiet, seething, hatred for authority for good reason.

I thought that I had posted "Butch" already, but when I read D. Eden's review of "Solicitation II" I checked my story list and put that right today.

I don't know how other people adapt to today's reality, but for me, belonging to something or someone makes things easier. Over the years, since my Divorce and being abandoned I've tried a number of things, most of which seemed to work for a while. Some have been frustrated with me because of my penchant for getting involved in belief systems, and generally a Trans person can not satisfy them, or I could not. Both Christianity and Islam did not work out, though it seems that a branch of Judaism does.

Got a new story up.

its not exactly light and fluffy, so be warned,

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/90966/house

I was looking at my story stats page after a recent story post and noticed that the collateral traffic bumped too. Daily hits on the few other items I have posted here wiggled. What an interesting side effect.

I do not know if there are others who are having this issue. Because I enjoy a good story, there are some authors whose works I buy as soon as they are released. I also have a problem where if a story is good, I like to read it several times.

Its not quite a daily Blog

So today was a crappy day.

It started with me having a dream where I took pleasure in being cruel to someone, which has got me thinking I'm too dangerous and should commit myself.

then I went to the doctor, and got the results from the CT scan of my head, which showed nothing wrong. That would be good news, except it leaves why I'm having word drop and stuttering and memory issues a mystery.

Then mom and I picked up Sam at work and took her home, and Sharon asked for a ride to the post office.

I think the reason I retired, got a divorce and changed genders was I got sick of all the crap.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/08/10/magazine/camp...

This would be too hard to copy and paste. It is about a camp that was started for kids to be who they want to be.

I came out at work today. Some of my coworkers have been pretty congratulatory, but the rest have been kind of awkward/quiet around me.

I have Thursday and Friday off, but starting next week I'll be presenting as myself full time.

I love reading stories about female run worlds. There are several I am reading at the moment. Some it is just men being treated as 2nd class citizens, sort of payback in way.

Some where all the women seem to be dominatrix's. They beat and punish their men , or dress them as women to humiliate them.
Some on BDSM sites where guys are all castrated, not my cup of tea.

A great example of this is the worm that turned by the two Ronnies , this was a series on their show.

I used to have total recall. I'm serious! In a way, I still do, but I don't anymore.

"What the Hell is she talking about?"

Up until the age of 35, I can still to this day recall every day of my life starting from age 3. I can tell you what I had for breakfast on January 16th, 1978. (I had oatmeal and a piece of toast before trudging through the snow with my sister for her to catch bus 35 to go to 1st grade... that evening we had steak for dinner because it was my father's 30th birthday)

"Ok... so what?"

A link to a Guardian story about someone they suspect was Klinefelters who was buried with grave goods of male and female, demonstrating they were respected by the community. My own thoughts as I read it were that the individual may well have been a shaman.

See link: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/aug/09/1000-year-old-...

No one to blame here. Just sitting here reading and was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of grief. No Drama or talk of ending it. Just wanted to say how much it hurts.

Had a wife of 38 years that got to drinking. Blame myself for not putting an end to that and getting her help. Two of my Children blame me for it all. One is supportive and loving.

I miss that woman powerfully and it hurts so much. I could never be man enough for her and as it developed, I wasn't a man at all. Just wish it could have been different though. Maybe the hurt will be gone in the morning?

and to be honest, I've not really been following the coverage but I do know that Team GB claimed the cycling crown with 6 golds out of the 22 on offer, 1 ahead of the Netherlands, the only other nation to win more than 1 event. Overall our tiny islands came in fourth behind the behemoths of the US and China with host nation Japan getting home advantage for third although with a smaller total medal count, the UK's 22 golds more than twice that of any other European nation. But as they say, Its not the winning but the taking part that counts - but winning is nice!

Ted has lots of anxieties about the Prom date—and Donnie's ambiguous gender.

Here we go!

Part 1 of Book 4, Light And Shadow is posted! Hopefully between me and a friend who's read it over a couple times we didn't miss any critical errors. If there are any typos or oopses, please let me know in DM so I can get 'em fixed!!

It is clear to me that exercise and healthy foods help just lots. As most people in this circle know, life for T folk, especially post op ones can really be heartbreaking. Not that long ago, I was talking with my counsellor about riding my bike for a number of things, especially to get groceries. I mentioned a certain market in a popular location and she suddenly seemed very tense. I asked her what was wrong and she denied any issue. She to has an electric bike and passed me one day, though at the time I did not know it was her.

As you are mostly aware

Found a couple of nice dresses at Target online. Got my new sundress last week, and a skater dress arrived today.

They fit, look okay, but they'd definitely look a lot nicer if I could shed 15 to 20 pounds. (I'm 5'10" and 196, give or take a few.) Right now, I'm not exactly a quarter-tonner, but I could definitely use a waistline that doesn't look 8 months pregnant.

While I'll likely still be too reserved/shy/terrified/ashamed to wear them anywhere, I'd at least like the idea that I could.

well, I got some encouraging news during a doctor's visit today:

My blood pressure?

121/85

my weight?

308 pounds

pretty good, huh?

can it be August already?

It is with great sadness that I have to report the death of Karen Lockhart, the pen name under which Kevin Solime posted stories here on Bigcloset. I had the pleasure and privilege of helping him out with proofing his stories. Kevin had not been at all well in the last couple of years but amazingly he kept reviving when his cousin Sue and I were sure he could not come back. We always said he had 99 lives, but alas eventually they ran out. It is a consolation to know that he is now at peace. I recommend his entertaining stories to all readers here at Bigcloset.

OK, so for a very long time, I am finally giving in but need help. I keep seeing story after story after story listed 'whatley academy' related. Honestly, I have never read it, I am having difficulty locating the 'original' version that started this 'universe'. I keep bypassing most stories i see labelled it, because I am without any idea to what is what about it. Would someone, please be ever so kind enough to lead me to this apparant 'best seller' of sorts?

Pretty please... with sugar on top <3

It is about time, I give in & give it a go, eh?

I absolutely hate writing in fitful starts and stops. At worst it means that my reader has to keep going back to re-read previous chapters to remember what was going on. Unfortunately, as we all know, many if not most of us do not have the leisure of being able to write all day every day - or even every week.

I apologise for the delay. In Real Life, stuff happens.

It seems all of us have an opinion on words and spelling errors we spot in the stories we read. I have a few of those such as "your" (possessive) used in place of "you're" (contraction of you are) and visa versa.
He drove to (modifier) the park. He wanted to go too (also) soft adjective)

I offered what I thought was some positive criticism to an author via a private message and not in a comment. They replied and blocked me.
I won't be reading any more of their stories. It is just not worth the angst.
I'll refrain from mentioning their name so don't ask but I won't block them.

Samantha

For the delicate, read no further.

I've noticed the complete loss of any sort of physical sexual response when manually stimulating. It seems possible that is due to the increased development of scar tissue around the nerves capable of responding to such ministrations and not due to age. My Brain refuses to acknowledge the fact but there is some hope that reality will set in before too long.

I've been thinking about trying to expand on my Janegirl Camp story. I sorta felt one thing that might move the plot along would be having Zee and the other campers getting involved in different activities. I've come up with a few ideas, but I've been struggling to come up with any really interesting ones, so I thought I'd try asking others for suggestions.

just posted something new, for whatever it's worth:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/90804/dots-harlequin-...

In all the hoo-hah about transgender individuals playing sports in their chosen gender the focus has only been on male-to-female. Nobody has ever mentioned female-to-male. There is evidently no perception of a problem if a born female athlete (for instance) plays American football or runs in male races.

Here is a very brief list of sports where size and strength make no difference. Please feel free to add any sport you like to this very brief list. Or challenge this list.

The following link is to an article about someone's brother who was a transman and who died of ovarian cancer. The fact that the person interviewed is the deputy speaker of the House of Lords, shows that both transsexualism and tragedy know no social boundaries and a poignant reminder that even after SRS we often have reminders of our original biological sex which can cause problems and even kill as well as therapies for the new gender may increase some risks. Includes a piece by an oncologist who specialises in transgender patients.

well shuzzle it

gremlins have struck, darned chapter corrupted due to a power malfunction. SSD's definitely don't like keeping backups.

That means I will have to rewrite todays chapter of reaffirmation and post it late.

Hopefully by tomorrow or saturday I am going to try and recover the corrupted copy first

wish me luck

For anybody interested in seeing more of Portal Problems, I'm afraid I'm shelving it for now. After publishing the first chapter and seeing the responses, I took a look at the next few chapters, and realized the characters lacked . . . character. They do stuff, but the reader would learn nothing about them.

So unless I can fix that, the rest of the story will not be published.

Sorry for any inconvenience.

I read earlier in a self help blog of a Mother that is livid because her husband without her's or her son's approval had their son's hair cut, it was previously long, which the mother adored & if going by her assumptions he liked too.

Hi everyone It is a Sad Day for Me & My Dad's Family because My Grandpa Brown Died Last Night in his sleep.

For those who've been following my story, Ian & Brice/Bryce, I'm still working on the next chapter, but things are going a bit slowly. a big part of that is because I can feel how Ian will want to be held, as well as how afraid he is of doing anything like that would trigger another flashback.

Hello out there,

It's been a month or so since I last updated Walker's Path.

For the last three or so months I was putting out two chapters a month. I didn't mind writing on that schedule but the last chapter was nearly twenty pages long and took a lot out of me.

I've been playing a lot of view games lately. Mainly Red Dead Redemption 2 and Overwatch. I also got into New World which I'm enjoying.

Welp, after taking far too long due to dealing with the pandemic, and also with two job changes (promotions of sorts!) at work, the draft for Book 4 'Light and Shadow' was finally completed right on time for dinner today! Sitting at over 135k words and split into seven parts, it now shall enter the 'Editing Zone' and hopefully the first part can get posted sometime soon, for which I'm rather excited.

Writing comes in spurts for me.

Sometimes there are weeks where I'm writing-writing-writing for days on end, it's all I wanna do.

Sometimes I'll go for months without writing anything at all. Much like with my art and music, if I'm not feeling it then sometimes it's impossible to get myself to do it no matter how much I want to complete project X or project Y.

Well, right now the stars are aligning, and I'm less than 5K words away from finishing a book!

A bit of a rough patch with book sales again. Bills next month might be a little tight so I'm looking for a bit of help. Gonna post a link to one of my more popular books here again. When I did this in June, I got a small boost in sales that will definitely help me out next month. This blog will hopefully help me to pay my bills at the end of September, unfortunately there's not much help I can get now though :(. I'll have to squeak by next month with what little I made in May.

Here's a link to Its Just a Skirt. If anyone hasn't read it, I'd be happy for the help :)

I want to acknowledge the sweet people from BigCloset who create such a dynamic mechanism for posting a story. My latest effort, Vacation, is a work in progress. I eagerly read and responded to all the comments.

But, what was especially helpful were the folks who offered constructive criticism. And because the design here lets me edit my work, I was able to redo entire passages to reflect what I learned from readers. Chapter Three is the best example of rewriting to clarify what I should have said initially.

Looking at the wardrobe in my closet, and reading this article, maybe it's time now, finally my time now?

And by the "us" in the title above, I'm referring to cisgendered straight boys who enjoy dressing in traditionally female garments but are afraid to do it in public.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/09/style/gender-the-boys-in-...

A drive through Los Angeles with the sun setting in the western clouds—thin as promises, brilliant as lies. Is Kissy's new life about to come crashing down around her?

Kissy has discovered she is too much of a chick to ever be who she was before, but can being herself really make her happy?

Sigh, too easy. This sounds like a fake headline.

every month! There are more than enough of us members that can afford to give ONE DOLLAR every month! That would eliminate the debt that exists AND more than meet the needed funds every month to keep the site online!

There are a few who do a LOT more than that every month and I salute them for how much they do! Without them, this site would have probably faded into non existence the way others have.