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can it be August already?

It doesn't seem possible, my head is still telling me its spring but here we are halfway through the summer! I guess the weather has been fooling my grey matter! Things and people I was expecting to see, things to do, to go to, haven't materialised for one reason or another, its only in the last few weeks with the relaxation of Covid restrictions here in the UK that I've been able to tick one or two boxes. I am in a happier place in my head than earlier in the year but it doesn't take a lot to lower my mood even so.

And then there is the Elephant in the room, that of who I am. Who is the real me? For the last, well pretty much 20 months, 'me' has been the slightly Goth woman, often with 'interesting' hair colours and nearly always in skirts and dresses interspersed with a less ladylike cycling fiend. In my head, like many of us, I'm the reasonably pretty, svelte twenty something but of course looking back from the mirror is a visage that, well, is perhaps, and I'm being generous here, an older outdoorsy look, a bit too craggy, too nosie, too lined to pass well. Oh, with a bit of slap and the right clothes I think I just about pass at a distance and I don't get too many comments looks when I'm out and about.

The question is, is this 'mannish' middle aged woman the real me or is it all an act, a disguise I'm using to, in some way, push at societal boundaries, is the real me the slightly rugged but rather beige individual that I've been living as for the previous @# years. Even as I write this I know not, lets face it, I'm anything but beige sat here, multi hued hair, purple walking dress - I refer you back to the previous paragraph! I guess I've been a rather plain looking girl all my life, the only time I ever looked close to cute was in my christening dress!

I suppose I'm sort of living the dream, being the woman that has, for the most part, been hidden away from view, the question I need to answer is whether this is it, is this the end of the line in terms of becoming me? As a confused teen I was convinced of the answer but living in a faitly conservative and rural community pre internet, I didn't know how or if it was even possible to pursue this ideal. Since then, children, relationships and just day to day survival has meant I've sacrificed those 'dreams', it seemed that every time I decided to pursue those hopes something else came along, which, at the time rated higher than my personal, deeply hidden desires.

So, enough about me, I just needed to get it off my chest.


~~#~~

Where are we now? Well I finished my visit to GOC, yesterday was spent travelling the 300 miles (it was via London) back to Brunelville, relationships refreshed and batteries at least partly recharged. Today is a day of catching up on chores, the laundry is done, i've done a bit of fruit picking (the blackberries really are cropping well this year) but still to do is a session of bike maintenance, grocery shopping and cooking Bev's tea!


~~#~~

There is of course a 'new' Gaby chapter today, It's the final part of book 3, The Visitors, Flight 613. It's quite a long episode, over 7k words and its also a very emotionally charged chapter, you might need a hanky or two before its over.

Of course, as its the conclusion of this book the question is, what now? Would you want me to repost the following book(s), they are all available on BC already but I could post the latest edited versions or should I leave it there and just post the latest scribblings? Don't be shy of letting me know either by PM, here in comments or even in person!


~~#~~

Well after that diatribe its time to end this post, so until Sunday,
Tak,
Madeline Anafrid

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Comments

Blackberries?

Around these parts, they are at least a week (or two) away from being ready. The redcurrants OTOH are ready but still a bit tart. The onions have produced a very good crop this year.

Our image of ourselves is always different from reality. We imagine that there is a svelt like body capable of doing back-flips at a moments notice when some days, we may find it hard to get out of bed.
As to how the world sees us? That is something that is very individual. It does seem that moving to Brizzle although away from GOC and family, has allowed you to be a good deal freer in your expression of 'Hey World... this is me. Take it or leave it.'
Long may it continue.
How about dayglow yellow for your next hair colour? (only joking)

Samantha

i did

Maddy Bell's picture

try daffodil but it didn't seem to take very well! I was tempted by the pot of green last night but i wimped to red and lavender - i think i need a few bevvies before trying the chlorophyl option!

There are some whopping BB's about this year and most have been really tart sweet, purrfick in fact. I did find a few up in GOC at the weekend but indeed they are about 3/4 weeks behind, I've been picking in Brizz for nearly a month!


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Madeline Anafrid Bell

Oregon

erin's picture

In another August forty years ago (!!!) I lived in the fogs and drizzle of the Oregon coast. The wild blackberries were ripe, luscious and as big as your thumb. I had as companion a small white Yoodle named Frosty, who loved and insisted on frequent walks. Picking blackberries made the walk pleasant and fruitful. Frosty grew adept at finding the riper bushes because I would share with her the ones too ripe to go in my bucket.

I ended up making two large pies, full of tart and sweet berries, enough sugar for the liquor inside and lots of butter on top. Just to hear of blackberries in the month of August brings back the taste of that particular summer. The late berrries through September into October were even sweeter but less fine for making pies. It was a different day and I am glad to remember it.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

September Berries (from Brambles)

are great for jam making. Apparently, they contain a lot more natural pectin than the earlier ones. At least that was what my mother told me and she used to win jam-making contests at the W.I. back when I was a child.
Samantha

Sweeter and stickier

erin's picture

I wasn't doing any canning in September so we just ate the late berries. :) But I remember as a child that the late crops of veggies were almost always canned. Blackberries don't grow that well in the desert so we didn't make jam of them there either. :) But tomatoes, peaches, cucumbers and okra went into the mason jars.

But the first fruit of the season to be canned was often chow-chow, green tomato relish with onions and peppers. It was a staple in our house, used as a condiment and in various dishes, and always canned in small jars.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.