Going Full-on Macho

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I thought that I had posted "Butch" already, but when I read D. Eden's review of "Solicitation II" I checked my story list and put that right today.

Her review said: "I think we all try so very hard to be that which we are not. We go to great lengths to prove that we are something which isn’t real, isn’t true. I know I did. I spent the better part of my life trying to convince myself that I was a man, trying to be that which the rest of the world told me I was - even if it wasn’t true ... It took me five decades to face the truth, but I am a much better person now than I ever was before ...I never struck out at anyone else because of who I was, but I spent a lot of my life trying to be a man. I did everything I could to be more man than those around me ... If only I had admitted to myself what I knew to be true even as a child."

My response headed "Lashing Out"
"So well said ... what came out of that is something of my own experience, which is the ultra masculine response to dysphoria. ["Butch"] is a story about me, I suppose. It is lashing out and inviting a violent death as a proper end to the life of a man."

D. Eden and I both served, and I think there is something about being ordered to "man up" daily but also that element of possible self-destruction.

Thoughts

Maryanne

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