No one to blame here. Just sitting here reading and was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of grief. No Drama or talk of ending it. Just wanted to say how much it hurts.
Had a wife of 38 years that got to drinking. Blame myself for not putting an end to that and getting her help. Two of my Children blame me for it all. One is supportive and loving.
I miss that woman powerfully and it hurts so much. I could never be man enough for her and as it developed, I wasn't a man at all. Just wish it could have been different though. Maybe the hurt will be gone in the morning?
Comments
*offering hugs*
I'm so sorry you're hurtrin'.
*offering more hugs*
Sorry ...
Here's all that I offer over the net:
There are so many things (uncountable, if I think about it) that I am grateful for, and those who gave them to me can't (Ex: I hear that J. S. Bach is dead...) receive the hugs I want to give them.
So I have this huge collection of hugs 'floating out in the ether'. Please, pluck out however many hugs you need and want - I've got more ...
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All that I've read says that we never get 'done' with grief; we just heal enough so as to be able to get on with our lives.
And each person will grieve in own way - no 'rules', no 'timetables', and any who say 'you should be over that by now' - they can just go "jump ... somewhere".
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I've also read that it extraordinarily difficult to 'stop' an alcoholic .. even locked treatment places have trouble ...
Please check over something like https://al-anon.org/, for friends and family. They've "been there".
Hugs to you,
as many as you need. I was a chemical dependency counselor and I can tell you that no one ever gets sober unless they decide they are going to do so. All the support and love you can give will never force someone to stop drinking or taking drugs, however, once the decision is made, then that love and support can make all the difference in the world. Don't beat yourself up over it, it isn't worth it. Nothing you could have done would have been able to force her to stop drinking.