What or how do you work past an issue that makes you uncomfortable. It sounds trivial but for the life of me I cannot seem to, or want to, write scenes that can affect a childs' relationship with his/her parent. I can envision it but I'm unable to put it to paper. I've known several people that have had a poor relationship with theirs but mine was never like that. Its like a stumbling block for when I have to write it. It's essential to the story so there's no way for me to skirt around the issue. Unless the parent is a total bitch (which she is not) I cannot write it.

Here is another poem from Kylie:

I could say I love you as much as the sun is bright
But it is much too dim

I could say I love you as much as the winter is cold
But is much too warm

So a few things have happened over the last few days that I have found.....unbelievable in my mind. And being unable to physically voice them just puts the nail in the coffin, so to speak.

When Dorothy wrote about a recently-resurfaced memory of hers, in which she shows off a dress to her mother, I assumed I had nothing that was even remotely comparable from my own childhood. Now I'm not so sure.

Here I am again, indulging in my usual late night indulgence of listening to music which transports me. Tonight it's Fleetwood Mac and the particular song that got to me tonight is "Go Your Own Way", probably my fave song by this group, written and sung by Lindsey Buckingham (with chorus by Stevie Nicks) when Lindsey found out that Stevie was having it away with Mick.

Listen to the pain,

Joanne

Don't know if anyone is looking for a real-life inspiration for a story, but I was just reading a Wikipedia article about an anti-baldness drug, and in the discussion of its discovery/development was this sentence:

"In 1974, Julianne Imperato-McGinley of Cornell Medical College in New York attended a conference on birth defects. She reported on a group of intersex children in the Caribbean who appeared sexually ambiguous at birth, and were initially raised as girls, but then grew external male genitalia and other masculine characteristic post-onset of puberty. "

I have a question.

Feeling very down regarding making my faith fit my need to transition. In fact, I'm feeling pretty down generally.

Doesnt matter. Got to keep going regardless.

So as you may remember, I got a new job at the end of July and started on the 30th of that month. Well about 2 weeks ago, they told us that we had to do an orientation thing, where they could tell us all about our job, show us where everything is and stuff like that. Like I haven't learned where all the stuff I need is at after a month there.

Ten Years.

Last week I announced that two of my Kindle eBooks will be available for free downloads; they're available tomorrow, Friday and Saturday! Many of you have been kind and purchased these already, but newcomers may find them a free introduction to my writing, as well as my stories here on BCTS.

Role of a Lifetime is about a middle-school boy who is cast in a TV pilot, where he must play the son of a family on the run, but disguised as a girl. And things happen ...

It will be available for free Friday and Saturday, September 13-14.

There was a funeral procession that passed though my home town today. It was for a fallen Soldier that lived in Connecticut. He was flown to Stewart airport National Guard base in Orange county, N.Y. All along the procession route at the various overpasses, located within my Fire District's coverage area we positioned a Fire truck and Emergency service personal to pay tribute to the fallen Soldier as the procession passed. I thought this was a very fitting thing to do and was proud to be a part of it.

I have a psychological question for you all.

Why would I want to scare myself right now?

Where else I ask!!!?

In most towns, mummy takes toddler down to the park lake to feed the ducks.

Not in my kinda' town. Nah, Mam takes Blodwen and Dai up the mountain to feed the sheep!

I know many of us think about gender roles and physiology. Here's a story about an interesting study which looks at how the size of a man's testicles might affect how he relates to his children.

This is a good day, kind of. I am no longer in the writing phase of my next novel. I wrapped up the first draft earlier to day of "Unreachable"" (I dropped the word "The" from the beginning). and now I am onto the tedious part of editing. The book is 240k words long, so a bunch is going to be cut off to get it to a respectable length. I overdid the beginning and I think I can lose that without hurting the story.

So it doesnt seem like their puppets or peole just in a play at the moment. That they seem like real people that could live next door to you with a life. How do you do that

For about the past three weeks, or perhaps a little longer, I've had a mild sore throat. Symptoms: slight discomfort there, perpetual taste of old milk, intestinal bloating on account of the gunge draining down, resulting nausea and so on.

Last week I decided it had gone on long enough and went to the doctor. Cue loads of tests and a completely unexpected finding.

well, its official. I am scared of my own brain.

I was waiting to pick up my ex at her work, and as sometimes happens, I began to nap.

I've been thinking of writing a story around the following idea: A seemingly normal teen guy is in the closet about liking guys, and one day at a camp or a sleepover a horny gay teen seduces him and tops him. Over the next couple of months, the protagonist's body changes in unexpected ways - breast growth, swollen belly and he gets morning sickness. Eventually a doctor diagnoses him as pregnant. He's shocked to discover part of him is actually pleased. He keeps the baby and his body keeps changing. At the end of the story, s/he's nursing the baby.

So... I might just be getting a boyfriend soon...

I know! I can't believe it!

Anyways... He doesn't... At least, probably not... know about my past yet.

I didn't know where to Post this so I Decided to post as a BLOG Entry.

has now actually updated at my site!

You can read the first part of Nena's holiday report report complete with some enlargeable pics!

http://www.maddybell.com/page600.htm

ttfn

Mads

This is a scene for my story The Brain that didn't make the cut. I thought you might like to see this and give me your comments on it.

I have passed all of he hurdles for Gender Re-assignment surgery. The VA did all of my pre-op tests and decided I needed to se a cardiologist to clear me for surgery. On the fourth of September I was cleared and now am ready for the 17th of September at 6:20 AM. My surgery will be in Bristol, Pennsylvania at the Lower bucks Hospital. Dr. Sherman leis (lease) will be performing the surgery.

Way back at the beginning of July (shock! horror! --- THAT long ago!) I posted the quote "New (and Final)" endquote map.

I lied.

Every so often I reach a point of surfeit. Where I've taken on too many other people's problems and woes and I need time to find me again. I am not leaving Top Shelf. I am, however in desperate need of time alone so I can get centered again. Losing Holly seems to have brought me to the point of finality and I just can't deal with any more problems or concerns right now.

In August of 2007, when I went to Thailand to have SRS, I contacted a Urinary Tract Infection, post op. Who knows how it happened. It is a whole new world when you cut your primary defense against such things off and make it a Vagina. You go from at least several inches separation between the tip of your penis, and your anus, down to an inch or two. Ecoli is resident in your intestines, and in males it is less troublesome than in females. I had contacted a strain of Ecoli that is antibiotic resistant, perhaps due to poor sterilization of the tools?

In a few weeks I have the opportunity to follow up my radio interview with an internet TV one. This would be an hour long (I thought the half hour would be long but I didn't even touch on everything I would have liked).

No one ever suggested that it was easy being a writer, though I always thought on BC it was easier than most places because of the friendly atmosphere. I'm not so sure anymore. I'm seriously thinking I might stop writing Bike, perhaps it's run its course - maybe I don't have anything to say anymore without apparently upsetting people, maybe I should just bow out and let someone else entertain people for nothing.

I'm still thinking about it. I won't withdraw my stuff as others have done but I might not post here again either.

I present to you without further comment, a real life example of forced fem:

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/01/couple_reveals_childs...

I've decided, at last, what story I'm going to write. As with most of the ideas I decide to turn into stories, however, the more I think about it the more complex it's turning out to be.

Today I visited a saw mill in northern Arkansas. If any of you have driven the highway between Conway and Harrison, you've seen the mill. I decided to drive non-stop home and fix a late lunch. US 65 joins Interstate 40 at the north side of Conway. There is a long left turn lane to get onI-40 South. I was stopped about 8-10 feet behind the truck in fron of me when I heard a 'chirp' of tire and was clobbered by a GMC 1500 pickup truck. I was driving a 2012 Chevy Malibu. Guess who won? I was knocked into the Nissan Tundra in front, and his tow bar penetrated my radiator.

Okay. I need help. Okay leave the snickers out of this and the idea that we all need help. :)

The fuse I lit nearly two weeks ago is about to reach its end...

I am thinking about self publishing my stories (No, I will not stop posting them here) ;) I am also thinking of building a website to go with it.

Some more random thoughts:

I had my first radio interview and I hope that it went well. I gave a little shout out to Big Closet in my bio.

Tell me what you think.

The link is HERE

Nothing related to TG but I know there are quite a few UK authors and users on this site. Have to laugh at this one. London skyscraper "melting" parked cars.... "The skyscraper's developers said they were seeking to rectify the problem which they blamed on the position of the sun at certain times of day." Hmmmm.... Sure, blame it on the sun. It's clearly out to get them. Perhaps a lawsuit against that pesky star? Perhaps it's something they might have anticipated. I don't think the sun has changed it's route across the sky recently.

struggling with flashbacks all of a sudden. I wonder if there is a connection between being stressed for other reasons and how frequently I relive my rapes?

I am really happy that something I did in the most recent chapter of Written in the Body played off well. Something I have been setting up for half the story was made clear and that is a slight trans element in a side story. People were surprised but supportive. It is playing out really well and that makes me happy. I have no idea how many of you are following that story but I was just excited about that and wanted to share. :D

Since early July, I have been adjusting to the idea that it would be permissible, within my belief system, for me to have husband. It has taken considerable time to adjust to the idea. Eventually, as it all began to sink in, my eyes became crossed with delight!

I have just submitted 'Ride On' for publishing on Kindle. The best way to find it (for it isn't up for another day or so) is to search on Amazon books under "Sussex Border Stories".

When I set out to write ‘No Greater Love’ I used a story I thought was from the ‘Iliad’ by Homer which was written circa 760-710 BC. It is the one that tells of how how Thetis, the mother of Achilles, fearful for her son’s safety sends him off to the court of King Lycomedes of Skyros to live as a girl rather than risk death in war.

Thursday, 9/5 — Think Radio Show will have on Dallas Area local people to talk on the subject.

Every once in a while, something comes along that restores my faith in humankind and makes me think that maybe some parents are doing an okay job with their kids.

Happy Birthday to my bestest friend and favorite Vixen, Randalynn!!!

I won't divulge Milady's age, but will tell you she is dealing with a possible kidney stone :(

Some Random thoughts:

Well, this wasn't supposed to be a question I'd need to ask, but that was before running into the side of a granite boulder. I was supposed to be in Oklahoma the beginning of July. Gee, everything was set, housing, family, even the finances were all a done deal. I was supposed to have moved out from my house, and I would still be leaving more than 1/2 my monthly money so the house (can anyone say investment?) payment would be made.