Have safe sex beneath the Christmas Tree,

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or you will most likely catch a Tinselitis infection.

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Only if...

Angharad's picture

...you lie on dirty needles!

Angharad

In a similar vein,

Extravagance's picture

you could deliberately make your partner roll over and crush the inevitably dislodged baubles, if you're a sadist and they're a masochist. = )

Catfolk Pride.PNG

Ouch!

That would be a painfully ornamental occasion!

Also watch out for

-Missile toe
-Kringle shingles
-Coal-itis (if you've been bad)
-Claus-trophobia
-Acute a-pen-inside-us (from inadvertently swallowing one of those adorable Santa pens)

**Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Bad Joke!

Booo! Boo! Don't quit your day job. :)

MOAN

All I can add is a huge pained OOAAHHHH

Will we have to perform a tinsel-ectomy?

Though you could get lucky (at least many here would consider it lucky) and have a double ornamentectomy performed and have some dangling things removed.