I said in an earlier blog that I was depressed. I just didn't know how bad it was until it reached absolute rock bottom. A couple of weeks ago I finally admitted to myself that I needed to sort things out, including finding help.

Recent events on Facebook have got me thinking, and I wanted to share some thoughts about the difference between my online self and my offline self.

I think the word you'd use to describe the online me is ... uninhibited. She (and forgive me for using third person here) giggles a lot, huggles just about anybody, acts silly to make her friends laugh, makes friends easily, has even flirted with people, and probably overshares her personal stuff.

Sitting up through the night,
listening to music on YouTube & crying,
for no apparent reason.

Everything, Nothing, I don't know!

Ain't I a silly Pixie!
>i<

lightoffury's stories are missing. lightoffury is one of my favorite authors. on crystal hall fan fiction, lightoffury has a link for lights whateley stories under the caption "lights big pile of crap". to me those stories are not crap. i hope that lights self-image will improve and that lights stories will be put back in bigcloset.

Are ISBNs necessary? I am getting close to self publishing some of my works and am wondering about the value/necessity of having a book number. Comments please.

There is an old saying, God made people, Samuel Colt made them equal. If one thinks about it there is a lot of truth in there. A hundred plus pound girl has the same equal defense against a four hundred pound bear, rabid dog, six hundred pound moose, three hundred pound man, etc.

I am looking for a sci-fi story about a man who is 180 000 years old. He has lived on 6 different star systems and watched man rise and fall. I can't remember the author but it was in a scifi anthology in my local library. Possibly Brian Aldiss. I would love to reread it.

Sydney Moya

My second Kingston Academy Shorts has gotten a LOT more user response, and a lot more quickly, than the first one did!

So, I'd like to know: what about Ruby's short story (both before and after the rather important fixes) appealed to readers more than Jules' little mini-adventure?

Are there any characters in particular you'd like to see shorts for in the future, or other PFH mini-stories you think would be fun?

And, lastly: how many other people want to see the next chapter of Angharad's Princess For Hire: The British Kid? Show of hands?

*raises hand*

I saw a comment to a comic that sounded like a line from the Movie Dune,

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion." - The Programmer's Mantra also found in WikiQuotes.

This could also be the Author's mantra

If I'd have known then what I know now, I'd have just had them take out the spare ... part. Sore, sore, sore, and greatly swollen. And sore. Did I say sore? A partial orchidectomy wouldn't have left anything to be sore. or swollen. and it was a spare. Damn. At least, on the bright side, it wasn't a tumor.

At least I've got a couple more days of decent pain meds. sigh.

It looks like updates to my site are only possible on Sundays! Once again the new stuff that I couldn't load on Wednesday has been uploaded at the first attempt today! I'll try again this week.

Over the last few years given the day right?
I mean stories like "The Parchment" And "Love and Old Books." are just sitting there right?
Hint Hint :)

*Great Big Snuggly Hugs*

Getting information for my stories, I came upon MtF pregnancy which might happen sooner. Another article was about a Chinese do or implanting an egg in a man, so I wonder if in 10 to 15 years from now a MtF will be able to be a mom... I hope so...

Comments...

These last couple of weeks my gender identity has been all over the place. One moment I am completely convinced I am male and any TG feeling is just a flight of fancy (or perhaps reading too much BC), the next moment I am absolutely certain that if I would awake a woman the next day it would be 45 years too late.

I could sure use some helpful pointers to help me figure out what it is that I am.

I'm having broadband problems again as my fibre went down sometime last night pb (post Bike). I've spent time today, after teaching my over 50s IT class, trying to fault find but right now have no outside world connection using that route although my internal network is still up. That much is useful as my scribblings are not stored on the laptop that I use for writing, all my work is stored on the big beastie (12Tb of storage).

As of February 10th Boston (Mass) has received just over six feet of snow for the season with a storm this weekend expected to add another 12 inches.

Despite this, there has been a first indication of Spring. The equipment truck for the Boston Red Sox (Major League Baseball) is being loaded for the trip to Florida to start Spring training.

So I have had my MRI and while I did tear the hamstring, it isn't bad. I'm off of work for at least a month from yesterday. I'll try and get to writing while I have free time.

Not sure how the doc put it but it was a tear, but the muscle didn't retract. So some leg therapy and I'll be good to go

My Shortcuts story is done. I just posted the last chapter. For those of you who prefer to read complete stories, please give it a chance.

This will be my last long story here. I'm moving on. I plan on joining a writing group in the hopes of eventually publishing the old-fashioned way - on paper. I might still post a short story once in a blue moon if the mood hits me.

I hate these bloody things, even more after wasting two hours of my life trying to get my old puter, which I keep for my role as cycling club secretary, to do something straightforward like send an email. Needless to say, it's now too late to start scribbling Bike, which means I'll have an extra few hours for my remaining brain cell to ferment further plot twists.

Sorry, but I've had my fill of electronic things tonight.

Near the end of last year she was in a bad place. She seemed more positive as of her last blog but it has been two months without further word. Has anyone heard from her since? I hope everything is all right.

Florida Lawmaker Says Using Restroom Is A Choice For Transgender People

http://www.buzzfeed.com/dominicholden/florida-lawmaker-says-...

this is his answer to Buzzfeed news these people are just morons , using a bathroom is not a choice it is a body function needed by most people

A state representative from the Miami area is writing a bill that would prohibit a transgender person from using the restroom of the gender that they are . This means a person would have to use the restroom of there birth gender . A transgender woman would have to use the men's room , how would that go over a lady in a dress going into the men's room . I wonder how would even enforce a law like that ?
Restroom police ? would the pervert be looking under the dress to see the privates .
This is just plain crazy , only in the warped minds of hate can this happen.

Well, things have managed to get worse for Sharon. She fell a while back, but yesterday she ended up finding out she had herniated a disk in her back during the fall. And since she is still recovering from surgery, it means her schedule for going back to work has been pushed back.

I just hope she doesn't take out her frustrations on Samantha ...

According to the Observer a trans samba dancer was murdered in Rio, they also suggest the crime might be a hate killing as they have a pretty awful record with a trans, gay or bi person being murdered every 28 hours.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/feb/08/rio-de-janeiro-...

I've never been good with relationships. I think a lot of that comes from my childhood. I watched my parents go though a messy divorce. Mom and grandma spent a lot of effort on mind games to turn me against my dad. Dad got remarried to the wicked bitch of the south. then divorced and eventually married for the third time(I like this one). I watched my sister go though countless boyfriends in high school and all the drama that entailed. She got married, had a kid then got divorced. she is now getting ready to get married for the second time.

Amazingly when I read someone and tell them about their life or lives before the present one they are trying out, it is all familiar to them. Usually they bring some of their past to the present without knowing why they feel a certain way, act a certain way, or why knowledge of different aspects of a job comes naturally to them. And yes most everyone tries out a different gender as they go through one life after another. I only read two different people that never changed from boy to girl or girl to boy. That one seems to be the hardest part for some to accept.

Our long suffering cat was euthanized at aprox 9:45am CST today, Saturday Feb 7th.

He and his late littermate Cally were two Wisconsin Humane Society kittens from the old location behind WTMJ tv and radio near Esterbrook Park in Milwaukee WI.

Best estimate were he was born Feb 08th 1995. But we will call him 20 years old.

He will be cremated and his ashes scatted over his sisters grave by a peony in our back yard.

Computer development is going so fast that it is like totally gee wiz to me. And playing with them is like a total rush, though I did not usually give a ...
I'm not talking cost effectiveness here, just talking about what a novice can do, and it is like totally fun. So, I know some of you will think what I am saying is stupid, but please don't treat me like your irritating little sister.

Face it Americans and the rest of the world like and need food. So why do we cheat the kids in the USA when it comes to school lunches.

Up Worthy
These School Lunches From Around The World Should Embarrass The U.S. Franchesca Ramsey Curator: Franchesca Ramsey

Walking 2 blocks to catch the bus up the steep hill, I had some guy give me a wolf whistle this morning.

sheesh, I wasn't even dressed to grab attention, other than the black leather knee high boots with 4"" stiletto heels.

The BBC is to begin filming a new comedy with the female lead being played by a Rebecca Root an actress who is/was transsexual playing a transwoman, something of a first, according to the Guardian. So well done the Beeb.

http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2015/feb/04/bbc-sitc...

http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/tvandradioblog/2015/...

I managed to finish and post a second story, begun many years back

Am I the only one to notice the poetry in the stand alone stories list.

The lonely girl falling down, waking up, waiting on the stairs.

When I first began to read "Whisper", I thought it was well written, and had some uniqueness to it. The language in the story sounded like a teen age kid, not some English professor.

Some where along the line I lost track of the story, perhaps when she went to Whateley. I respect the author that originally came up with the 'verse but since then so many have just dumped their protagonists there and gave up on the story. Now when it is mentioned I usually just stop reading it because I do not want to think of Whateley to be a place where good characters disappear.

Ah well, seems like my urologist got cold feet and consulted with the gender clinic crowd up at Charing Cross. They advised him not to do anything until I'd been seen by the 'gender-bender-bunch'.

Soi managed to tear the hamstring in my left leg on Monday, last week, not this. Thinking nothing of the pain, for which I have a high tolerance for I went on with life as normal, including 4 days of work, in which I outworked those half my age. Went to a walk in clinic yesterday and got told I tore it, so I took my first day off of work in 9 years (counting the other job) and caught up on my sleeping was gonna write, but computer chair is not comfortable

WL try to get some stuff out soon, since I may be off work for a few days

If you are a Canadian trans person, and struggling, there is good news.

There is now a Canadian Trans crisis line open.

The number is 1 877 330 6366, and its toll free anywhere in Canada.

Since I started publishing on Big Closet, I have managed to produce at least one piece every month with one exception.

However, that streak is in jeopardy now.

The piece I was working on based on a nightmare is too triggering for me right now, and the other story I had started, "Solomon's test" has its own problems. Mainly that I am afraid it might be too close to the current story "Shortcuts", insofar as both stories are about a bet between cosmic forces and a person getting super powers.

I see so many emails, posts, and talk to people who tell me, "John died. He was sick."

Years back I knew if a person had something wrong when I got close to them. Every disease, every illness has its own peculiar smell. I met others who had the same sense of smell but only one who knew exactly what the problem was by the smell. She was a nurse of all things. The doctor she worked with would always ask her about his diagnoses of a patient.

Every once in a while I have a random assortment of subjects to write about that aren't quite substantial enough to merit their own entry, so it felt best to include the lot of them under the above catch-all title so I can get them out of my system already.

... by the reception Mike and Ashley has received. I guess it just proves that a story that has lasted a thousand years still has some value. I just hope I did it justice. Thank you, dear readers, for your support.

I collect stories which I enjoy re-reading. Sometimes, I find typos and so on which I correct.
Many of the stories come from the deceased site Crystal's Storysite or other sites which are no-longer-available (or sometimes I have lost the source).
How many different objections would there be if I submitted these for re-posting - always acknowledging the original author and site if possible.
For example - I have some 150 stories by Janet Stickney from about 1999-2004
& 12 stories by Rachel Anne Cooper.

I am so happy that Syriza won but I'm wondering what will happen. I am hoping Syriza will at the very least see these austerity measures thrown out, with a more equitable agreement happening. Maybe in this new measure the rich people in Greece will pay their fair share instead of seeing the middle class face undue hardship for bad decisions made by those in power who are likely in league with the rich.

For several years I have wanted to write a story based on an old tale from about a thousand years ago. I had been sitting on it until a week or two ago when my muse gave me a figurative kick in the ass. I quickly wrote a summary of the story and then got to writing it. It has taken me only a week to put together almost 22,000 words of what I think is a very nice story. I'd thought at first it would be a bit longer; however, I think this length was right. I'm interested to see if anyone will identify the ancient story. It is quite popular in some artistic circles.

According to MS Outlook, Olympic champion Bruce Jenner is making a film about his transition to female. As he's related to the Kardashians, who it appears publicise everything, it's hardly surprising. However, the support he appears to be receiving from them is heartening.

http://www.msn.com/en-gb/entertainment/news/bruce-jenner-is-...

to write Bike tonight. Working too many hours - I'm getting too old for this.

Angharad

Please, if you can, help us keep BC alive and kicking. All the bills this week added up to about $1400, including internet connectivity, hosting and various software licenses we had to renew. It doesn't have to be a big check or a big gift, every little bit helps.

So, I have been having a lot of pain in my lower abdomen and went to a VA Urologist to see how to access Medicare to access a surgical solution to my incomplete SRS surgery. Well, the meeting was waaaayyy different than I thought it would be.

She said I have classic Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, which manifests by pain in the hip, general pelvis area, and anterior abdominal area, often feeling like pain in the ovaries. (I have no ovaries) She believes that the "Ovary" pain is either from scar tissue from their removal at birth, or from simple muscle tension.