I have to agree with the creator of this wonderful website. I became a member to talk with people who felt like me. I will not take be told what I feel is wrong on this site or what to feel. I have now been talk to about this yet, so this is a warning to those who would. I have been around for 26 years, most of it in the military life. So I know how to take harnessment and I will report you. So can you know leave this site and leave us alone will you. I was not push into this at all, I came looking for people who felt like me.

As in guilty as charged. Feeling guilty about not reacting mutch to the post here for one, thaking a leave of absence from the fleet for another and some other stuff.

Also don't get why peepz keep telling me I'm a great person. I really am not

Feeling way down and useless, >ad a lot ofother stuff <... All the stuff at work isn't helping either 'cause the keep pushing the 'useless' side of things.Missing that LGBT youth group. Heck missing every group I was ^part of.

Sorry to be buggingyou eepz with this

Lynne/Kai

Hi everyone,
I'm writing a new story and plan to write/need to write a nonsexual post-transformation shower scene. My muse is negleting me a bit - I think Karl is angry because it's nonsexual - so I'm looking for inspiration. I'd be really greatful if you could recommend stories that contain well written shower scenes.

thank you,
Beyogi

Ok. Sitting here kinda freaked out. Check the time stamp I just had a very weird, very disturbing nightmare. Some caution before reading the imagery might be a little graphic it was to me and I probably won't go back to sleep.

Since I have decided I am going to hook my star to Tegan, the story I have been sending around with little effect for the last few years I am going to post on here. I want some one to read it as I am very proud of the story. So, come next week, after Whedonfest is over and I can breathe, I plan on releasing my story Transitioning Home.

For those of you keeping track of the mess I'm in, here is an update. Maybe some of you can give me some feedback or suggestions.

I met with the lawyer today. It's the first time I had a sit down with him since the whole mess began. Right now there are 2 pressing issues... one, the charges against me, three unregistered email accounts that they say were suppose to be registered. Two, whether further charges dealing with files on my computer were coming.

Anyone heard from Bobbie Cabot, is she still here or back in the Philippines. As the Philippines was hit by a bad storm Typhone/Hurricane and many were killed and missing. It hit the Minila area real hard and just want to know that she is OK!

I made the big 6 0h today on Aug 2nd and nobody to share it with except yall. Happy birthday to me.

Transition happened, I'm back at work. It's almost as if for the rest of the world, nothing happened. Why am I so surprised?

I have come to the point in my life when I really don't see the point in going on another day, another hour, another minute. On the horizon, I don't see even a chance of happiness, or joy, or peace, or contentment. There is no one that I am close with or close to, and I don't really see that changing at all. Any trust that I have ever had in humanity has been squandered. I simply wait to see how the next person is going to take advantage of me, use me, and then discard me like the worthless item I have become.

Had a very funny moment at the bank today. Went in to get some cash out for my mom, and the teller starts asking me my address and phone number, and suddenly I realize she is seeing my male name come up on the card and I'm wearing a skirt. So I tell her I'm transitioning, give her the information she needs to verify I'm me, and I get my cash.

Makes me wish I could afford to do the name change, but ah, well.

At least I got a funny story out of it.

My friend Kylie took a little quiz, and one of the questions (and her answer) was this:

7) Who do you look up to?

My friend Dorothy. I am awed and amazed at her life. Not that she understands why.

I'm awed and amazed that she's awed and amazed.

It’s been a long week, and it’s only Monday. Today was memorable. I had to see my primary care physician, and my cardiologist. They both had good news for me.
`

I would like to thank all of you for your help and advice, regarding my last few posts, i know i dont often comment, that has more to do with limited time, and typically not always knowing how to repond to all your lovely grand comments which i whole heartedly thank you all for it.

My health at least feels like its getting much better. even though it is uncureable, but the puffers help so at least the infection has seemingly subsided.

Well, last night I worked in an area where another worker was very close, so we kind of kibitzed back and forth as we worked. Halfway through the night, I realized how much better my interactions with people, especially men, have become. Its a little thing, but it feels good.

About a month ago an Air Boat Captain on a tour with a family wanted to show a alligator up close so he held out a fish to feed the Gator with is illegally low and behold the 9 foot gator jump up and showed to tourist how to bite the hand that feeds you. The gator was found and the hand was found but sadly the captain is now called captain hook.This past Friday he was arrested for illegally feeding the gator with a $1000.00 bond ,talk about wierd justice.

This is what the DSM V will be stating:

Gender Dysphoria (in Adolescents or Adults)**

A. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, of at least 6 months duration, as manifested by 2* or more of the following indicators: [2, 3, 4]**

1. a marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics (or, in young adolescents, the anticipated secondary sex characteristics) [13, 16]

I had two very good days over the last week that made my heart sing. The first was at a party a week ago Saturday where i was truly myself in a social situation. i also wore a skirt for the first time. everybody treated me as who i am... not who i was. It felt right and was...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01l9z10/A_Year_in_the_...
This is a truly beautiful programme, though I know many people outside the UK cannot decode it without some trickery.
If ever anyone wanted to see what Steph'n'Geoff or Steve and the Toffs enjoyed, this is it. The farmer (whom I know slightly) has the most wonderful Gog accent, and the TG link is provided by the poet Twm Morys, son of Jan, who was James...

As some of you know I broke my arm in April and I am still in a cast , my last rant I said whoa is me BUT I saw a news clip about a guy who swam the Chesapeake Bay who was born with no arms or legs or the girl in Goergia who lost both legs and both hands to the flesh eating virus.
We also can not forget all the boys & girls that are born in the wrong body and deal with that everyday.
The fact that I have a temporary problem doesn't look so bad , I am going to be 64 in October and still have all my hair SO LIFE IS GOOD

To all my family at BCTS - LOVE YA ALL RICHIE2

The above is based on an old song by a group called Garbage, and its about my general attitude in life. I was mentioning the other day to a friend about how ... easy my transition is going, and she said "What? Did you want it to be harder?"

Then in a conversation with my mom, I mentioned about passing, and she said, "maybe you want more attention, and are sorry people arent noticing you, even if that meant they were mean."

I may be wrong about this, but it seems to me if I comment on a story before voting that I am unable to leave kudos. If I vote first, then of course leaving kudos is not a problem. Has anyone else noticed this? The reason I'm saying this is that I just received a very nice comment about a recent story; however, the kudos count hasn't changed. I can't imagine getting such a nice comment without getting kudos.

Portia

Ok folks for those that might be remotely interested. I am Jenn C (bad pun). I am a Hispanic nerd girl of the highest order. Like a lot of folks here my outside does not match my inside, never has. I have painted my self into a corner with real life and am still hoping one day to sort this out. I have lived in Texas all my life but have managed to move all over the place in it. I have a tendency to nerd out often just whack me on the head and ill stop. I do divide my friends into two categories 1. Those who could have seen Star Wars: A New Hope (original release) in the theater and 2.

Yes it was 5 seconds of screen time, buth there were couple of TG girls shown in Olympics opening ceremony...

An article in the Guardian about the Alliance School in Wisconsin showing the change in trends in the US in the last twenty or thirty years. I believe they'll have banks there soon :)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/jul/27/gay-friendly-s...

Angharad 8)

Most of my life, I was thin/skinny/beanpole etc. But just before I found Topshelf -- and maybe part of why I found my way here -- I got severely ill. It was in the late Spring or early Summer (depending on your definition of early June) 2006, and I was probably a size... 6 or 8 in US women's sizes, I forget. But I got deathly ill. There are other things that happened that day, but the practical upshot was I was completely bedridden for about 9 months, and could only make it 15-20 feet at a time for the next couple months after that.

She got the results of the tests and MRI, and is now waiting word for when the surgery will be.

I read all of the comments to her about 20 minutes ago, and she wants me to thank everyone for their thoughts.

Holly

(original message)
As many of you know, diabetes has cost her all of her toes over past years.

Hi! I'm working on a sticky block and somehow found myself searching through my memory for a story I once read, but have lost somewhere... I think it's in my amygdala, but I could be lost even there...

The story was about a teenaged boy - trans, at it turns out (!) - hoodwinked into a girl's identity by his cousins, who finds herself a TV (sic) weather girl, and then a reporter, and finally a news anchor, all in one summer.

Does anyone remember this chestnut? Your help would be appreciated.
:-)
Michelle

Some may have noted I am largely absent of late. There's reasons for that, but mostly stuff I have no wish to toss out there for some vague self aggrandisement.

SO today I finally started taking hormones... or hormone, depending on your view of things.

The doctor put me on 1mg of estradiol twice a day (so a total of 2mg) and we will adjust when the labs come back. Currently I am not taking a testosterone blocker because the last time I had that checked it was at a 75. I suppose if it got higher I can start that again too. I do notice lately that my libido is way down anyway so maybe my body gave up on it.

At least its a start

Dorothy mentioned someone with any names. Well that person is me.

I went to doctor yesterday for the results of some tests I have been getting lately. Had hot flashes, breast pain etc. I expected that I was going into menopause or something.

Well I am barren. I will never be able to have children. While I kinda expected that it still hit me really really hard.

This isn't directed at anyone here, just some in-general observations and a recent experience of mine.

I was at the grocery store today and their self checkout lanes were down, so of course the registers that were going had long lines and people were patient about it given the obvious problems the place was having with its systems.

Recently I've been asked by an old friend of mine to write a script for his feature movie (this will be his first movie). Nothing too extravagant nor complicated, mind you, but something that can make people scream and possibly die of heart attack. Having never written horror stories before, this is a bit of a challenge. My aim is to write the best story which my friend, the first-time director will be able to create into a real masterpiece. So said, the best ghost movie of all time, or at least for the next 5 years.

Can I ask of favor of all my online friends? I have a friend who is in great distress, and she needs all the positive vibes you guys can send. I dont want to share her name or what's happening because not everyone is comfortable having their lives splashed across the net, but if you guys leave a note, I'll pass it on.

Thanks guys.

Wednesday I have a 2h jobinterview at the same employer but a different departement. Not my favorite job (accounting) but I can't really chose a job. It's only an internship at the moment but it would nullify the verdict of the retireent commission if I would get the job and there's a chance to get get it after the internship

Also applying for another job that is closer to y intrest although it's also partially accounting (account manager for subsidising sports).

I can be hard on my characters...

Well, progress has been rather slow for my current story, Destiny: Triumph of a Spellbinder, mostly because I've just gotten through a round of revisions. Me and my revisions.... Sheesh!

Head bans transgender pupil from exam... so she shows him Equality Act.

A transgender pupil had to show her headmaster a copy of the Equality Act before he allowed her to sit a GCSE exam while wearing girls’ clothes.

Interview in today's Guardian with the transsexual punk band member.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2012/jul/22/laura-jane-grace...

I mentioned earlier that I bought a pair of hoop earrings. The one thing I wasn't prepared for was how heavy they feel. It felt like my earlobes were about to drag on the ground. Is this normal? Do people get use to it? Maybe buying at Walmart wasn't the best idea. I want to get some that dangle, but I often temper things with not wanting to push the issue of gender with other people.

Just got back from a nice walk around the local area, checked the news to see if the TdF had finished...

...and yup, it had and there were no unforseen calamities, so we ended up with the perfect result as predicted for the past few days: Cav won the stage, Wiggo won the race, and Froome was second.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cycling/18946960

Congratulations to all three!

Next stop: a certain quadrennial sporting event... which starts on Friday evening for most, but Wednesday afternoon for the footballers (!)

For those of you who care about such things.

Before the crowing starts I just wanted to remind a few of our cycling fanatics that Gary Wiggins, father of a certain winner (I hope) of the Tour de France, is an AUSTRALIAN,

Love'n'kisses,

Joanne

Despite being in a great deal of pain thanks to some seriously crazy storms that have come through here in the last week and a half I have managed to finish the editing I was working on. This is a good thing, in that I can focus on other things for a while. So Yay.

This means I have nothing else (besides pain and Whedonfest) distracting me from other stories. Now if the storms stop maybe I can get K&K 5 finished. It hurts too much to really write, as it takes a while to really say anything at the speed I can go now. But here's hoping.

Just got back from the doctor and I have another cast with he said is normal after the repair. The good part is the staples are out with is why Ineeded to wait with the cast, the bad news is 3 more week of a full long arm cast
WHOA IS ME, I am getting so tired of this as it has been going on since April.
Oh well keep smiling be happy
LOVE TO ALL AT BCTS -- RICHIE2

Well, my vacation is over, and tonight I go back to work. It will probably be a tough week as we will no doubt be short staffed from vacations, and I wont be used to that level of exercise, but I'll just have to do my best and get back in work shape as fast as I can.