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Jem…Chapter 104
Copyright © 2013 Bailey Summers
All Rights Reserved.
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Author's Note: Picture used with permission from *lavonia on deviantart.
Chapter 104
Jem…Chapter 104
Chapter 104
*** Remy Powers…
I knew something was up when Angel was making a point of hanging with this girl and her friends and there was this thing between them…like distance. It was definitely a social thing…Jase might have known her before or something from just the way that they talked together.
They had these clothes, this way of dressing that had that money thing to it all.
But Angel was still talking to them, to that girl.
And then there was the fact that they seemed to have a moment…Angel with that concerned look, the other girl with that controlled pain look.
That’s something that you get used to seeing in your own face when life keeps kicking you.
It’s something that I used to see on Jason’s face.
Angel’s face not so much.
And as a parent seeing that there for so long and not being able to do something about it, get a handle on it. Having your child be happy, and living.
Parts of us died when Angel’s mother died.
I watch my girl do her thing and I enjoy the show. She’s really talented and she’s so into it. And from seeing Jason who sort of just shut life out as much as he could and still function to Angel as she is now is actually like seeing a miracle.
For some of you parents out there that have trans-children don’t hold back because of your own fears.
I guess that should go for everyone that has someone they love that is going through transition. That grey there, that troubledness that you see in them…it goes away…or it has with Angel. It has with some of the kids that the other parents in my online support group.
Johnny’s Jenna is just an amazing girl…young woman.
And Angel showing this girl that has stuff definitely going on some friendship, understanding. I’m so proud of my little girl.
I look at the others up there with her.
I can’t help but to smile because they’re my girls too…
Being a parent sometimes doesn’t stop with your own kid.
And with that I finish my Coke and I head over now that the girl has had a chance of some space after talking to Angel.
“Hey.”
She gives me this really skeptical look and then she sees my shirt with the band logo and security on it.
“Oh…uhm hey you’re with the band right?”
“Sort of I’m a volunteer and chaperone.”
She looks me over. “Wait…you’re…”
“Angel’s uncle, Jason’s dad.”
“Oh…I mean…uhm…shit…” She seems to sort of deflate a little.
“I take it you know my son?”
She is looking down. “No…actually not really.” Then she looks up at me. “I was one of the people that had a laugh while others did stuff to him though.”
You know it’s not honesty that has her telling me.
I’m looking her in the eyes and she’s sort of got that look. That I need to hurt look. Jase used to have that look sometimes, me a lot from my own teenaged years. I wasn’t one of those Emo cutter kids but I was the fifteen year old with a pint of Rotten & Raunchy a semi-permanent mad-on and a tendency to punch things.
I grew out of it after a while and meeting the right girl; woman.
I look at her and I nod. “High school sucks it’s hard to get your footing.”
“Not just high school.” She says.
“No not just.” I nod and then I smile a little. “Look you’re here and from what I can tell whatever was there about what happened with you and with Jason you’re sorry about it.”
She blushes and shrugs. “Kinda…Mister…”
“Well whatever you’ve been doing you seem to be doing alright by Angel.”
“I…I don’t know, kinda just trying to be less of a bitch…”
“I not sure if you’re really that much of a bitch.”
She smiles this kind of rueful smile at me. “Oh well trust me, I’m a bitch.”
“Well bitches aren’t all bad y’know.”
She smiles and this time it’s a little genuine. “Oh really?”
“Yes, really Bitches keep assholes in their place.”
She gets sort of frowny looking…mad thing and she sort of works her jaw.
Uh-huh…I smell Marshal with that.
“C’mon let’s dance, this is that kind of a show y’know.” I offer her my hand.
She looks at me. “I don’t know…”
“Then I can show you that’s the advantage on being old.”
She sort of smiles and she takes my hand. “I was saying I don’t know if I’m fit company to dance with Mister Powers.”
“Jeremy.”
“You’re too old for me to just call you that.”
I smile and nod. “As long as it’s not sir then we’re fine.”
“Okay…fine, I’m Carmen.”
“San Diego?”
She gives me this look and I groan. “You have no idea…gah I’m so old.”
Okay that gets her to smile just enough.
I pull her out and we get moving and I am showing her how since a lot of what the girls are playing her is sort of the stuff that I grew up on. It’s bad that stuff from my pre-teens in over thirty years old.
It’s actually pretty fun showing her this stuff I don’t get the kind of tremors the kinds call dancing and some of the other stuff. I mean there are times at the shows the girls put on for Wednesday nights I get so reminded of the scene where Patrick Dempsey is learning how to dance in *Can’t by Me Love.* and he’s learning from some show on African tribes instead of american bandstand.
There’s a couple of times that she’s smiling and that makes me smile too.
I don’t know what’s going on but there’s no reason someone so young should look so sad.
So old in the eyes.
We hit that part when Angel and the girls hit the slow dance stuff and she stops. There’s this look of uncertainness in her eyes.
“Carmen…look at me.”
She looks at me and she’s kind of scared.
“It’s okay, it’s okay to just let it go and to be yourself…without the bullshit.”
Her lip does the lower lip tremble. “No…no it’s not…”
I look at her. “Yeah, yeah it is kiddo. It might not feel like it, it might just feel like every time you open up you get hurt but it’s not always like that.”
“Yeah, yeah it is…you have no idea…”
I take both her hands gently. “My son’s MIA out there because of the same thing…” I wait just long enough for her to say it’s something different but she doesn’t. “Angel knows the score, I know the score and I’m telling you it’s not always going to be like that.”
“Yeah well I’m not in that lucky category y’know…some of us don’t have the option of fighting back.”
“Yeah you do.”
“No we don’t.”
“And you’re not here because of a giant fuck you to him?”
“Him?”
“Adam.”
She looks at me and she then looks down. “Maybe…even if it’s just a little kind of one maybe…”
“Then it’s not going to be like that, because you say it a little and the next person says it a little and it will get bigger, it will get louder.”
“And then what? He’ll wreck my life, he’ll wreck the lives of my friends and my family and there won’t be a damned thing I…we can do about it.”
She’s tearing up and she’s crying now and I pull her into the slow dance and I look down at her. “You can do what you need to do Carmen…you’re strong enough to do that.”
“Am I? I don’t think so….”
“You’re here right?”
“So…?”
“So inside I think that you know that in the end if you don’t do something yourself it’ll never end…or if it does it’ll end on his terms.”
“See…It’s too much…I can’t take something like him on.”
I go from that holding her in the dance style to just holding her. “Who said that you’d have to do it alone?”
(Sniffle.) “What?”
“You don’t have to do this alone.”
“But…my family?”
“He won’t let his hold over then go unless he’s made to.”
(Sniffle.) “Him or me huh?”
“No…him versus us.”
“Us?”
I smile down at her. “Yeah…us…” I offer her my hand and my pinky.
She looks at it like she’s never seen anything like that before.
“………………….” (Sniffle.)
I keep dancing with her and Carmen leans her head on my shoulder. (Sniffle.) “My…my dad would never do something like that…”
“Yeah well some people really don’t know what they have…I lost enough to know different.”
She looks up at me. (Sniffle.) “Yeah…that’s right you’re a widower right?”
I nod and swallow my own lump. “Yeah…”
“And Jason’s….”
“Yeah…”
We dance for a while longer into two other songs and she takes my finger and she hooks her pinky into hers.
(Sniffle.) “I want out Jeremy…I want out please…”
I hug her tight. “Done, I promise.” And I tighten my finger in with hers.
It’s going to be a long night…maybe more but I won’t let him hurt her anymore and I won’t let him hurt my girls anymore.
And that’s a promise.
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Comments
You Always come through
every story shares so very much with us. Thank you so much
Goddess Bless you
Love Desiree
TY so much Desiree:)
I'm really glad that this chapter turned out so well it's the first one that was all from Remy's POV.
*Blessed Hugs*
Bailey Summers
"I want out please"
Damn Bailey, you tugged at my heart strings. You laid this chapter out just about perfect.
Then you had to add that closing line.
"And that's a promise."
We all know how those Powers men feel about their promises!
Great stuff!
Hugs
Grover
Thanks Grover:) Carmen's been through so much.
Remy will definitely keep his word.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
wow
can it get any stronger, you help cut the cancer out of people that adam has infected. keep up the good work.
robert
Thanks RJ.
It was definitely a strong chapter.
*Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
“I want out Jeremy…I want out please…â€
oh wow ... I hoped she would make this move, but I'm still moved to tears by Angel's dad's response ...
It was interesting to write Remy as Him more than just Dad.
But he's still a Dad and he takes that seriously. Sometimes you parent more than just your own.
*Great Big Proud Angel Hugs*
Bailey Summers
Remy...
Remy is a good man. If there were a dozen or two of him in town Adam's family would likely never have taken hold.
Angel, and really all of SLB, are lucky to have him as Dad. Not the biological father, but Dad, the man who protects, defends, loves, and cares. Because that's what a Dad does.
I'm kind of getting this Picard moment with Remy now. "The line must be drawn here. THIS FAR, NO FURTHER!"
Remy'd like that Thliwent:) He likes Star Trek.
He'd definitely agree too on that he's just doing what a dad does.
Glad that you enjoyed this chapter:)
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
Dads
Looks as if Remy is going to have a whole lot of daughters before this is all over, I can't think of a better man for the job. Remy knows the secret - the more you love the more you can love. Love is not a finite resource, you can share as much as you want.
Another wonderful chapter!
“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.” - Turkish Proverb
He's never planned it that way but kids need love.
And being the guy he is there's nothing else he can really do but to step up.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
when the walls come tumblin',
when the walls come tumblin', tumblin', crumblin', tumblin', down. some how mellencamps song seemed appropriate to the end of your chapter.
can't wait for when the wall falls down on adams head. love this story. (TFTS) thanks for writing it.
Walls coming down
What springs to mind for me is a song based on The Selfish Giant, but could easily be interpreted metaphorically (a virtual 'wall' between you and the outside world, that nobody's allowed to breach):
You can build a wall around you,
Stone by stone a solid ring.
You can live alone in an empty home,
Be in charge and be the King.
Break out! Reach out!
Make the walls tumble down, down, down!
Break out! Reach out!
Make the walls tumble down!
With Carmen's situation, another song also springs to mind, which calls upon the power of strength in numbers - One Man's Hands - which also lends itself to adaptation for a number of different circumstances:
One man's [hands / eyes / voice / strength etc.] can't [x]
Two men's [hands / eyes / voice / strength etc.] can't [x]
But if two and two and fifty make a million
We'll see that day come round
We'll see that day come round
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Comments with Lyrics... *Happy sigh*
Really enjoyed both sets and they both fit the story a lot.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
Love Mellencamp! So might have to find some for the girls.
It's always good to get reminded of excellent bands and performers.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
powerful
little chapter.
well done, thanks
TY LoneWolf.
It seemed the scene to write out next for the story.
*Hugs and Howls*
Bailey Summers
yayness!
Let's see... lump in my throat... check. Eyes burning with the promise of tears... check. Great ending line... check. Yup, this is Jem all right. :-)
I love the Powers women but the Powers men are pretty special in their own right too. Lets hope that Carmen can help.
Thanks for another great chapter Bailey.
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
LOL Jemima, Love the Jem checklist!
It's a pretty special family just from how much they care about people and how stand up they are.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
Wow
This is sort of beginning to feel a little like your 'Tilting' series.
Good Guys, working against the Bad Guys.
Banding together.
I know it's hard to do this in the real world. But pretending, in these fantasy worlds, is a step towards fixing things. For real.
T
Angel would definitely "Tilt."
And I will definitely try to get more of both out RL permitting.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
This is important
"For some of you parents out there that have trans-children don’t hold back because of your own fears.
I guess that should go for everyone that has someone they love that is going through transition. That grey there, that troubledness that you see in them…it goes away…or it has with Angel. It has with some of the kids that the other parents in my online support group."
I know that supporting kids who appear to be trans is a difficult task!! But if they really are it is so important to support them.
It can be the difference between life and death!! Giving them the chance to find there own way and figure it out for themselves is so very important!! They may grow out of it or become more convinced. It is important to not push them in any direction but to support where they decide to go!! That troubling look in their eyes, I know about that. I saw it in my own eyes in the mirror many years!!
So let them know you love them no matter where they go with their lives!!
Thanks Bailey,
Pamela
Transparenting is very important Pamela.
Going careful with things is too but so many here can get why it's so needed to have a positive parent/parents there behind you. Being trans is hard enough, and it's so important to have real support especially as a kid.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
Yes it is important, but....
There are many kids who exhibit gender non-conforming roles but are not trans. That is why it is important
to support them but let them go where they will. Once you are fairly sure they are trans give them all the
support you can, because yes it is very difficult being trans!! I guess the brief time I spent in the RadFems
discussion group has given me some thoughts about our issues. My trouble there is I have no formal training on
how to discuss the issues, but instead commented based on my emotions and feelings. Something they could not
accept!!! I guess it is better that I am not a part of it any longer, because I am not a good representative
of our community!! Keep up the good fight for our side Bailey!!!
Hugs,
Pamela
Everybody's Already Said...
...what I was going to. Powerful, very moving, well-written chapter.
Eric
TY Eric:)
Very much appreciated!
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
“No…him versus us.â€
Nice great chapter as always, so happy that I finally caught up.
*hugs*
-Elsbeth
Is fearr Gaeilge briste, ná Béarla clíste.
Broken Irish is better than clever English.
it has to be said...
Idina Menzel - Let It Go
Angel would love that song:)
And it'd be a great mood fitter too for when she's feeling like this.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
i just thought it fit so well
i just thought it fit so well in this entire story, from Jason and his troubles in school, Angel and dealing with all the TG stuff and the girls and their family history. this song is like Invisible in that so many people can relate to it, I just watched the movie at 6 am this morning and i've listened to that song about 15 times already.
Actually I can see the girls doing the group sing along to this.
Angel with the line. "The cold never bothered me anyway."
I really, really love Disney movies. :)
*More Hugs*
Bailey Summers
who doesn't love disney? lol.
who doesn't love disney? lol. the newer disney was starting to flop but after this they can consider themselves redeemed. and I would love to see them singing this song, I love Idina Menzel, ever since I saw her perform in Wicked.
Jeremy is so cool, it's not
Jeremy is so cool, it's not just about Jason/Angel to him. He just has a way to get through and help hurt little girls. You can see where Angel gets her compassion from.
Great story, big hugs,
Lizzie :)
Bailey's Angel
The Godmother :p
Angel & Family
While Angel does get a lot from Remy I think she gets part of herself from her mom. Angel and her father have been trying to put Band Aids on a really deep wound in their hearts. Angel has been able to learn so much from things that her mother left before she was killed. Stuff like finding those mix tapes to liking a lot of the same clothes. Angel is doing alot of healing from her newly discovered stuff to Rayne showing the depth of her love to Angel. And Remy is healing also.
I believe having his heart opened up by Angel and her friends is letting that wound in his heart heal. I suspect having young people in the house with all their noise is detoxing his wounds. After mom was killed there was no joy in the Powers house. Remy and Angel both built walls to keep the world at bay for fear that they would be hurt again. Lets face it, Jason kept events at school behind the wall he thew up to hide from the world.
I can't help but wonder what would have occurred if Jason had a chance to square off with Adam in a fair fight all those years ago. I know there is a physical mismatch between Jason and Adam, but RAH had said so well, Never frighten a small man, he'll kill you. Adam, like other physical large men, count on their size to intimidate potential challengers. And Adam also counts his skill with firearms.
That says to me that Adam probably never devloped any hand-to hand fighting skills. A smaller person would have the advantage because he has nothing to lose. And a smaller person can nullify Adam's longer arm. Let him throw the first punch then duck under the swing and close the distance between him and Adam then land a couple of short hard punches to the abdomen then back off right away. Trust me, you can't fight effectively when your trying to breathe. Close in and keep up the short jabs to the abdomen and its all but over. Short hard jabs then back out. I'd say to go for the kidneys but this supposed to be a fair fight. Some jabs to the kidneys and he'll be pissing blood for a week. Adam probably would be throwing big wide punches. Keep under them out of reach and let him waste valuable effort and breath.
Those wild punches at the limit of his reach are easy to avoid. He's going to learn the hard way that short hard jabs are much more effective. Unskilled fighters are most likely to go for the face so they can point out the visible injuries . "See what I did?" If you have ever seen Mohamid Ali (excuse my spelling mistakes) at his best he spent much of the match backing away from his opponents. Then he would close in and land a series of short jabs then back away. The first time I saw one of his fights I thought he was a fraud. The next time I saw one of his fights I realized what he was doing. He was fighting smart.
Anyway I have gone on too long about side details. Just one more thing, My first fight (in junior high) was against agast a neighborhood kid. To this day I don't have a clue what had happened to make him want to fight me. The first fight he had chased me on to my porch and started swinging. I reached out and put my hand on his head and pushed him down and away. I never punched him, and he kept trying to land a punch on me and never did. I just stood there and kept him down and away from me. And I have never had any training!
I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.
Holy cheese what a great comment post.
The last fight Angel/Jase had with Adam that was fair was their very first one when they were kids.
Adam's never fought Jason alone since.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
R.I.P. ~~~ 40 Winks?
This is such a great story, it's essentially killed any chance I have of getting 40 Winks. I started reading it the day or 2 after chapter 191 was available. I've not slept 3 hrs since.... shouldn't take but a few more days, then I can get back to a full days sleep... oh! that's gonna be nice! Here's hoping I'm still pigheaded when I get to I guess now 192 is ready to read.
That's really such a great compliment!
I'm very glad that you're enjoying this so much.
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
Re: R.I.P. ~~~ 40 Winks?
I know the feeling, I started reading this five or six days ago and I'm at this point so far. I've been getting more sleep than that, but this is a good enough story that I actually read about fifteen chapters AFTER I was tired enough to want to sleep last night. LOL
At the rate I'm going, I should catch up on Jem in the next four or five days.
How I wish this was true
Bailey, I wish my mom could take lessons of compassion and understanding, from Remy, especially, embracing the fact, she hasn't lost a son, but gain a daughter. Thank you, for sharing and reminding me, this.
Remi is the best
Everybody deserves a dad like him. I know would love that, eventhough my dad wasn't all that bad. But my first real conversation with him was when he was terminally ill with cancer.