Jem…Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I wake up slowly and there’s this scent just floating around me and it’s one of the best scents in the world. Girl… that smell with just hints lingering of her soap and shampoo still clinging to her just winds itself a twirls in my brain and comforts me right down deep inside.

I can feel Raven’s arms around me hugging and holding me and it feels so good. I mean part of my brain definitely registers the fact her breasts are pushed into my back and that feels so good but so does her arms around me and then there’s her head just pressed into my back just at the base of my neck using my body like…well a body pillow.

It’s one of those hurts so good moments. I feel the fuzzy cheap blanket pulled over us and it just sets the mood with the sun coming in through the windows. The house is quiet and it must be around nine or so. I’m used to being up early and stuff so this is a real treat for me. To have slept that long. I usually don’t at home and stuff.

I don’t want to move. This is as close to having a perfect moment with someone as I’ve ever had. Being like this was so non-existent in my life that I honestly thought I’d never have even this. For a few moments it almost catches up with me and brings the tears out…again. I think I might have cried in my sleep again. My eyes feel like it, that’s how I know.

Raven’s in a deep sleep and I’ve got to go pee so I slip off as carefully as I can and tip toe off to the bathroom. I’m sitting and having a pee when Brooklyn stumbles in and blinks a couple of times before grinning. “I suppose I’m kinda being bitchy but after home and stuff it kinda does my heart good to see a guy sitting to pee.”

“I’m Angel remember. Besides I’d feel sort of weird standing and doing that dressed like this with you girls and stuff.”

“Why bother, I mean you’re a guy?” Her head tilts as I snag some bath tissue and wipe myself off.

“I dunno, just feels like disrespectful?”

“You’re weird Jason, I’ve never known a guy that’d even give a shit.”

“Yeah…I get that a lot.” I’m not sure why it hurt as much as it does but it does and I switch places with her and she just drops her panties and uses the toilet with me in there too. “Brooklyn!” I’m blushing, kind of freaked out.

“What? Oh, this…Look Angel girls do this all the time. In a club there’s never enough stalls sometimes so if you’re with friends then sometimes you just cram in and get stuff done so you’re not standing in line. Though…”

“Though what?” I ask washing my hands.

“I thought you’d actually have less in the basket department.”

“Why’d you think that?” I know I’m a little defensive saying it.

“You kinda go pretty flat in the panties there Angel, you look like a girl.”

“Well that’s the point right? Besides I’m not fully equipped, after the cancer and the treatments. And it’s all soft tissue it compresses pretty easy really.”

“Yeah, hence the tight panties. I think you’d hang a little loose there in Meno-panties.”

“Meno-panties?”

“Period panties, y’know granny panties.”

“Oh..” Yeah I’m turning red again.

We share the sink and Brooklyn shows me some of the stuff that she does with the facial bar, this Neutrogena stuff and shaving and stuff, she uses Nair and guides me through using it in the shower. (No we’re not showering together she’s instructing from outside.) did you know if you use this stuff right out of the bottle you get the nasty burns and stuff? Brooklyn schools me in lathering up in one of the neutral soaps then working the Nair stuff into that. I do everything under my neckline, even down there. No it’s not me being pervy but it’s kind of a rock star thing? I dunno I just did it on impulse.

Next was some baby oil before even drying off. Now that made sense, seeing in the water my skin sucked up. I towel up and get a lesson in towel wrapping my head and I get to what’ll be my room and grab some underwear and stuff. I blast myself with some deodorant this Secret Magic moments stuff a sort of coconut and shea butter stuff, and a dab of Cotton Candy perfume by Prince. (Yes I went cheap, that and my small thing of Juicy were close to twenty dollars.) I get dressed… Oh…sliding into my clothes in newly fresh and smooth skin. Yeah I got turned on a little by the sexy sensation of the clothes but not all wild about it. I think it’s the exotic feel more than the in my head turning me on thing.

But It passes. Women’s clothes don’t turn me on, it’s what’s in the clothes that does that. I am a little weird I think. I mean I bought some really nice bra’s and panties and is it strange that if I’m wearing these things I want them to be pretty and sexy? I slip into the bathroom with Brooklyn and she sits me down and helps me do my hair. I actually like the Jem look so she shows me how to go about getting this sort of updated K-pop look. Then a bit of make up advice and I get dressed in old faded jeans that were Mom’s…okay…even girls jeans with the years worn into the feel great. I actually love the snug feeling and stuff once I get y’know who comfortable. I settle in my inserts and the just a loose pale pink t-shirt that shows off my navel and ballet flats, not the dancing stuff but a kind of slipper shoe actually.

Okay, I’m really comfortable, there’s stuff about some of these clothes that just is a lot better than guys clothes. These shoes are just great, like someone crossed a sneaker with a slipper or something.

Brooklyn trimmed off a little bit of split ends and stuff and it’s definitely a girly look even if it’s a rocker kind of look. I smile at her as we’re doing our make up. I’m just putting on a bit of eyeliner and a touch of shadow and some lipstick and sealer. “You’re good with hair, you ever do this as a job before?”

“No, the old man was that cheap that mom and I made do by doing it for each other. You’ve got killer hair by the way.”

“I do?”

“Yeah you’ve got a lot of it and at the same time it’s really, really fine.”

“The treatments did that. Once it started growing back it came in a lot finer, my body hair too.”

“I noticed, almost a light, light blonde sort of.”

“Yeah, the Nair will have taken what was years and years of hair growth with it down the drain.”

“You good with that? I mean this whole thing?”

“Yeah, the cop had no clue to who I was and at the same time I get to do some things I’d never have gotten to do before.”

“Like?”

“Playing with you girls, have room-mates. Make real friends and use my mom’s stuff and really get a feel for who she was…It’s like the ultimate walk in someone else’s shoes.”

Brooklyn looks at me with this really intense look. I can see her feeling out and looking for that asshole of a guy I think she’s so used to seeing in a lot of guys. I stare her back in the eyes…I’m not hiding anything from her even the fact that there’s a part of me just waiting for this to go sideways.

There’s something to be said when you look into the eyes of someone just as hurt by life as you. There’s this strangely healing bonding instant where you both get that whole shift from Why me, to not only me…and you just can’t help but reach out.

We’re hugging and this time I’m not the one crying but it’s Brooklyn. It’s crying pretty loud and she’s crying pretty loud as I gather her into my arms and carry her to her room and when I do her crying doubles and she hangs on so hard that it hurts.

I’m not a mind reader but I get it. I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to get that she’s never met a guy that hasn’t hurt her or disappointed her in some painful way and then there’s me? If I’m a decent guy then why couldn’t her dad and them be. Raven and Roxy are there pretty quickly after the crying started. They both help me soothe her a bit and at one point Roxy takes over because what was going on made me more freaked out and angry then I’ve ever been in my life.

I held her as she cried into that almost asleep out of it crying place. Then I felt her body twitching as she was sort of flashbacking…I…I could feel almost the way she was being beaten by the way she twitched.

Roxy took over and I was out in the hall pacing until I couldn’t take it anymore and went into my room and closed the door and kicked some of my boxes of clothes until I was crying and sank to the floor and hit it a couple of times with my fist. Raven came in and sank to her knees behind me. And hugged me and didn’t I just let myself lean into it.

“Thank you Angel. You really are one... you know that right?”

“What? Oh (Sniffly, whiny voice.) no, not really…”

“Yeah, and having someone that upset over what happened to someone else she just met where she’s sitting on the floor and crying is something every does.”

“But…Raven I could feel her shaking, feel her twitch every time that fucker hit her!”

“Yeah well most people’s hearts aren’t strong enough to even go that far.”

“You would.”

“No…the few times I’ve been like that with Brook it upsets me into my own shit. I’ve never felt her go through what you said she was going through. But you, you were right there with her.”

“Raven…”

“No, this…everything here, the rent money, cooking, you’ve only been here the weekend and things have changed around here. Gotten better…I’d say you’re kind of like a fairy godmother but I think Angel fits.”

I’m looking at her and seriously blushing and I can’t say anything because she’s using the bottom of her oversized AC/DC tee-shirt to dry my eyes. It’s almost a reverse moment where I was taking the contact out of her eye yesterday.

I’m so confused. Raven’s chesty, and curvy, with long black hair and yet sitting on her knees with me on the floor I can’t get over how Handsome she is. Yeah Handsome… those eyes framed in those rectangular flames, the tee-shirt and the fact she just seems so there and solid?

“Thanks…” God I wish I could say something better than that, say something that’d matter but I am what I am and she’s who she is and….

“Hey no problem.” She gets up and helps me to my feet. It’s strange again because I’m not weak from helping Dad in the garage when I could and stuff but Raven’s a girl and I was right under the whole misconceptions about how strong girls can be. I know it’s part her using her body weight but she pulls me to my feet pretty easy.

That’s pretty cool.

I’ve never once thought of hitting a girl but Summer’s such a dumb-cunt someone should slap the silly bitch.

Oh…I’m seriously crushing…I think…I’ve never really had someone to really crush on before. Oh I mean there were a few girls but they seriously went into bitch mode as soon as they opened their mouths. But that was around Jason.

I wonder how they’d act around Angel? More than likely be just as bad. They really didn’t even seem that friendly around other girls and each other. Like the smiles were camouflage behind bared teeth.

We get into Brooklyn’s room and we all sit around her as she’s getting slowly cried out and she’s sniffling and smiling at us. “Oh this just really sucks you guys. It’s Sunday and I start the morning off like this…”

Raven hugs her. “Hey it’s still early, no harm no foul.”

Roxy grins and does that Red Bull Care bear thing to her. “Heeeeey, cheer up you still got the whole day to top this.”

That makes us chuckle a bit. I lean over and hug her. “I’m not really religious or nothing but I’m pretty sure that God’s pretty good with you crying on a Sunday.”

Raven smirks. “Yeah, she’s good with it.”

That gets us laughing and we help each other off the bed and downstairs and into the kitchen. It’s a bit of this chaotic jumble with us all in the kitchen and stuff especially with only me really knowing what I’m doing. Like taking the coffee beans out of the freezer and using their magic bullet to grind them to make fresh coffee.

Roxy makes the orange juice and I’m not fussy, frozen unsweetened is better than no juice at all. I got a lot of stuff and I’m getting stares as I made a big batch of French toast and a third of a pack of bacon. Raven and Brooklyn are eyes deep into two mugs of coffee and there’s just something nice to have people to cook for. I make two batches of the French toast. Two eggs and a cup of milk each the one’s sweet with nutmeg and sugar and cinnamon and a dash of salt and vanilla and the other is savory, with salt, pepper a few chili flakes and some finely chopped rosemary, just a little as it’s a strong herb.

I’m partial to both but Roxy and Brooklyn like the sweet and Raven likes the savory even though it’s the first time she’s had it. I told her two wait and I do it up like dad does with a few thick slices of tomato that are fried to get heated and then HP sauce and I cut her some with the sauce only on the tomato but a piece of bacon and the French toast of top of that. She shyly takes the bite I feed her off my fork and I loved the look on her face when she eats it.

“That’s fabulous where’d you learn that?”

“From my dad, he got it while trucking somewhere. He said half the strange stuff he got recipes from was part of why Mom loved him so much.”

“I’ve never had French toast like this before, I though it was always too sweet.”

“Me too unless it’s winter time and Christmas.”

“Why?”

“I use raisin bread and add in candied orange peel to it and stuff.”

We eat and do the dishes and clean up and then go into the living room to set up the stuff to start a real practice session and to play out the kinks in our timing. While we’re doing that I get them to gather all the wash not yet done and to take it down stairs and we start playing while the clothes are on.

Our play list is turning out like these cover songs:

Boots of Chinese Plastic... By the Pretenders, great band and a really fun tune, hopefully one that‘ll get them up and dancing..

Creep... But the version the Chrissie Hynde does that I show the girls on You tube. I know it’s a downer tune but you see Chrissie do it and it’s so good, so soulful I think kids our age will really dig this acoustic version.

Soul Sister... By Train, such a fun tune. I think this’ll go over good because I can’t ing this without dancing and smiling.

Drops of Jupiter... By Train, another suggestion that went over well, I love the deep yet ethereal way it sounds and I sing it but try it singing to the mike like it‘s a person otherwise I‘d be singing it to Raven. There’s a cool funky to the vibe so I sort of try dance to it in front of the mike stand. I’m not sure how to go about doing that like a girl so I kind of shimmy like Axel Rose used to and that seems to work or gets me close to it.

What’s Up... By Four Non blondes is another or my choices, and a fun great tune.

Androgyny... By Garbage is one of the picks for our sound by Raven and Roxy It’s a bit of our inside joke and yet I like the funky sound it’s got.

Bleed like Me... By Garbage got added because I liked to tune while learning Androgyny and Raven doing the bulk of the guitar work is just perfect.

I Love Rock and Roll... By Joan Jett and the Blackhearts it’s such a great tune for any kind of crowd especially with a crowd of girls.

I Hate Myself for Loving You... By Joan Jett and the Blackhearts another great tune and Ravens really belting it out with me because it’s a great song for her to hit back at Summer.

Light of day... I know another Joan Jett tune and from a movie but Raven and I and then Brooklyn and I belt out the Lyrics and stuff and the drums on the song are killer and it’d familiar to some but in my age group. Well…I’m the only one who’s seen the movie. “Yeah Roxy, it’s the dude from Back to The Future.”

We add in *Invisible and *Washed Away with me switching over from the guitar to keyboards for those and working on the actual music and singing, for the song invisible we go with killing the spotlight on me. It’s got this soft sad slow melody to it. And Washed Away is more to the tempo of “Tears and rain.” by James Blunt but I’m not doing a re-mix or copying him but it’s just the closest thing I can think of that fits it.

That’s a dozen songs and we run through each of them five times each with about an hour each time we run through stuff and adjust and water up, and stretch and take potty breaks and swap out the laundry. We’re not folding stuff or even sorting it just dumping it out on the couch and it’s about pretty close to four in the afternoon when we’re done and I’m sung out and we’re all loose and tired and stuff.

It takes awhile but we’re all showered and stuff and I make spaghetti. I’m a cheater and use the dried pasta and I make an equally cheating sauce. I brown off a pound of ground beef in the dutch oven on the stove and take the meat out to drain it. Then I use the fat to brown off my garlic and diced onions and then a handful of frozen veggies. I just use the artic gardens stuff, I do it with me and dad and there’s nothing wrong with small beans and carrots in the pasta sauce. I finish it by opening a can of tomatoes with the herbs in it already and use the stick/wand blender and add it to the pot toss the meat back in and I shake a little flour over it all about a teaspoon worth, yeah just a teaspoon you want it a little loose still before you add the pasta because the pasta will suck up some sauce.

Raven’s folding clothes, Brooklyn’s setting up the Playstation three and Roxy’s watching me eyes wide as I’m cooking. “It’s so cool you can do the Ange.”

“Cooking isn’t that hard Kim, you just got to do it.”

“Oh no, I’m a holy terror in the kitchen. I mean I took like Home-ick and stuff but I was really bad at it and stuff. Seriously I can Burn salad.”

“But you don’t cook most salads.”

She gives me this cute no duh look. “I can’t cook, it’s why I’m here, it why my mother married for money and success. She can’t cook either it’s genetic. I can remember my grandmother cursing and praying at the same time.”

“You don’t cook anything?”

“Well like stuff you can open and nuke or pour hot water on. I can do noodle cups.”

“Okay? What about the other girls.”

“Brooklyn can sort of but she really doesn’t because of stuff at home. Her dad and brothers were the whole women chained to the stove and stuff.”

“And Raven?”

Raven sways in smiling and starts putting away the washed dishcloths and cup towels and potholders. Then walks up to where I’m cooking and takes the wooden spoon out of my hand and takes a taste of the sauce. “Raven does okay, mostly canned stuff or toss it in the oven stuff but I can fry a steak or chops and make burgers or hot dogs and stuff.”

She gets this smile on her face as she tastes it and closes her eyes. “This is really good…You keep feeding us like this we’ll get fat.”

“I doubt that not if we keep playing the way that we’ve been doing and the three of you can use to put on a few pounds.”

Raven makes a face then looks at herself. “Not me I could stand to lose some mo…”

I cover her mouth with my hand since I..I..couldn’t kiss her to shut her up. She stares at me surprised and a little bit of grr there. “No, you look great the way you are…if someone doesn't get you’re great as you are then she’s a fucking idiot.” I slowly take my hand away and we’re just looking at each other.

Roxy exhales loudly and grabs two Coke’s out of the fridge and heads in to play videogames with Brooklyn. “Whatever you two, it’s a little too One Tree Hill in here for me.”

There’s a moment but not a moment and we both kind of blink and start laughing at whole thing and just how “Not” that’s going on between us. I grab bowls and plates and stuff but inside there’s this little sigh going off in me.

…..?

Raven didn’t bite her lower lip for a second there did she? I look no, normal…beautiful, handsome, both? But normal.

We eat in the living room and I’m not against stuff like that. I do it at home enough too. Besides we’re watching one of Brooklyn’s favorite movies this really realistically drawn cartoon movie called American Pop. I get into it and Brooklyn’s raptly watching it and mouthing some of the words.

Raven grabs Roxy to do the dishes and then we all just relax and hang out. I know we could do more on my room but after playing and the pasta we’re just too knocked out of ambition and honestly I need something to do tomorrow while Raven’s at work and the girls are off to school.

I sat on the couch and tried to work out lyrics that have been running through my head ever since…? They’ve been in there for years like snippets some times. It’s a no-go so I end up just curling up in the corner of the couch while Roxy joins Brooklyn in playing some martial art video game again until it’s nine and then we all sit together halfway all over each other as we watch the Simpson’s.