Jem…Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I can’t help but to stare at Raven. Then the way she said what she just said and the way the she’s looking at me sinks in and makes me blush. I…did I over do this? Am I making this to much for her? Am I going to hurt her?

She goes over to me and she smiles this smile that and forgive me for being lez-offensive wakes my lower self some despite the confinement and makes me get this very naughty bad Jason image in my head.

Raven’s walking around me and shakes her head. “Honestly Angel you really do look amazing. Are you sure you’ve never done any of this sort of thing before?”

“No. But I just wanted to fit in. I mean all I’ve ever seen is when a bunch of girls get ready to go out on the town and have some fun they get really done up. I’m supposed to be one of you girl’s right so if I dressed all shy and slubby wouldn’t I stand out even more?”

“Yeah, I guess but wow, I’m…I can’t see Jason there at all.” She looks at me and dips her head blushing. “Sorry Jase.”

“Hey its okay, I mean this is a disguise right? I’m not supposed to look like Jason I’m supposed to look like me.”

Brooklyn leans over into my field of vision and does this really good one raised eyebrow thing at me. “Like Me?”

“Hey! No reading into this and sticking my head full of stuff that’s going to have my head going a hundred different ways, living like this is scary enough as it is okay?”

All three look at me with this worried look. And I roll my eyes.

“Okay look this might seem like I’m adapting to being Angel pretty easy and stuff but I can’t help it. This is right now the best solution I’ve got other than actually taking off. It’s like I get into this headspace where I’ve sort of made this picture up of who I’d actually be if my Mum was around to raise me as her daughter and if I was a real girl. I flip this sort of mental switch flip in my head like those hologram cards with two pictures in them. I’m good usually but things get scary if I really let myself think about what I’m doing.”

That’s about all that it takes before they’re hugging me again. I hug them back then step back and wave at my eye to dry the tears that I’m sort of prone to while switched on

“Okay, okay I get it can we go have some actual fun for tonight? Puh-leze…?” I do that sweet kinda girly, girly please thing at the end of it and Raven get her key’s “We’ll take the van.”

Huh…y’know what, we take the van because it’s easier to get in and out of and that makes it a lot less hard on our outfits. That’s kind of neat and something I never thought of before. Mainly because when I think about the van it’s all Jase-Brained and I’m thinking about how much of a hunk of junk it is and how much work it needs done. The thing really should have some serious body work done to it.

Hmm…if we have the band as a business could we class it as a work vehicle and write off some of the work, and a lot of the other stuff. I’ll have to look stuff up if I can. Mom had done all the paperwork and stuff for the garage and everything.

God there’s just so many things swirling around in my brain and not just the whole me dressing and stuff either. I really need this I think just to shut off my brain and not think about things.

The Cat or the Black Cat is in this old brick warehouse here in town but used to be part of this old mill that was here that closed back in the 80’s and the place was refurbished and stuff. It’s got a big parking lot and the place is made out of old styled bricks and stuff but it used to be the office so it had those front steps with the bricks and the cement. It’s got it’s name from these two cougars made out of cement at the front of the hand rails when the owners bought the place they painted them both this glossy black along with the railing and put in those big old fashioned gothy funeral home doors.

The place has a whole bunch of cars her even for the middle of the week. It’s a dance club mostly and they don’t serve booze here so it’s kinda just a good place to hang…I’ve heard. I’ve never been here before.

Me and the girls pile out and then make our way inside passed the small crowd of smokers and we get stopped at the coat check and get those stored away and pay the five dollar cover to get in and get our hands stamped by this big dude at the door.

As soon as we’re inside there’s the bass thumping of dance music and stuff being played by the D.J. There’s posters up all over the walls of various bands and acts and spin artists and stuff and They’re playing some remixed back and forth between some girl singer and Drake, I’m not into hip hop a whole lot or rap but Drake I know from watching Degrassi.

There’s a bar of sorts and they sell all sorts of stuff and a level of tables that we’re walking through that’s like the seating area in a bowling alley only the dance floor is sunken down six feet and there’s a walk way for staff only on the sides of the dance floor even with the seating area and the stage area. They call the dance floor the pit. It’s a little too other side of wild for it to be a mosh pit though I guess it did back during that whole grunge thing.

I’m standing there nervously at first then Roxy takes my hand and leads me down into the pit and Raven and Brooklyn follow or flank us and soon I’m in this good sized crowd of sixty or seventy kids and twenty somethings trying to move with the tunes and the music.

I’ve never really danced before either. I’m not really that into it right at first either until Raven dances up to me like someone replaced her spine with a slinky…ow. She takes my body touching me here and there and moving me with the music guiding me in how to move and it goes slowly from being very erotic and hot for me to this oh…holy..I’m getting it! Then it actually becomes fun, not kinda fun, fun I let go a lot more and drop some of my Jason based music tastes. She smiles at me and she moves into the crowd saying stuff to people she knows and it sort of seems like she hasn’t been around for awhile. I seen her hug this nice looking blonde in a army styled halter top shirt and lots of tattoos and peircings and then started dancing with her.

Brooklyn takes my hand and pulls me into a dance getting my mind off this girl.

At some point I do stop thinking when we get about thirty minutes in and they start to play some really thumping stuff some I recognized most of it the popular dance pop stuff from like Much Music.

It’s actually kind of cool to just let go and feel the tones race over your skin like it’s alive and the bass…oh the base when you move with it or let it move you or whatever…it takes me just somewhere else. The feel of my clothes seems to mesh with the feel of the dancing and the smell of the stuff I’m wearing and the sexy bounce and sway of my breasts…I can feel this not really bad tug on my nipples from the movement because of the double sided tape.

Yes guys can have sensitive nipples too, but add it that whole shimmy bouncy weight and the knowledge of the shape and it’s becoming a very tactile illusion to slip into.

And I don’t care, I’m having fun.

I’m getting asked to dance by a few guys and I dance with then and its fun. It’s also scary in a bad way and scary in a good way and surreal at the same time. There’s guys that I would have likely looked forward to hanging with or even just talking to if they’d treat me as human and they’re here dancing with me and a few of them are trying these cheesy bad lines.

A good way to deflect those lines? I’ve heard a lot of them so I start finishing them for the guys. Two of them get all whatever offended because their game is weak and one looked confused and that kind of put him in this category of pretty but dumb he just not knowing what to say to me kept dancing and sort of trying that look at my cute smile and dimples and lookit I’m ripped! I couldn’t keep dancing with him because he made me giggle a whole lot and he got even more confused and he hit this wall where he shrugged and wandered off. I saw him later dancing with this equally kind of stunned girl who sort of danced in this….y’know when you leave a female elf character alone on WoW and she starts to do the bouncy thing…yep that was her.

I giggled all the way to the bathroom.

Now I’m not the greatest fan of this, there are far more girls here than guys like a sixty-forty mix and there’s just not enough stalls and stuff. I end up in the line with Raven, Roxy and Brooklyn. I’m so very much like most of the girls there doing the crossing my legs because I have to go that bad.

Once I’m inside it’s so nuts and weird. Well for one we shove into a stall the four of us and take turns using the toilet and I get to see my first dirty tampon in my life in the trash basket. None of ours thankfully, to have that go on right in front of me right now in this little amount of time would be a bit TMI.

Besides sort of being a bit embarrassing I don’t really see anything except their panties. I waited until last and Raven turned the other two around while I re-tucked and adjusted and went back out with the girls and we re-touched our make up.

Now a club bathroom is different than the other female bathrooms I’ve been in. Long counters and sinks with a huge mirror and lots of lighting the only real thing different is the thing that’s really different and that’s the girls.

There’s the cursing and swearing which was more than I thought there’d be but it’s mixed into the chatter. It’s funny how many time I heard Uhm and Y’know and Like and And Then before realizing just how much we used the as girls. And the smell…wow, the mix of make-up and product and perfumes filling the air all different. It’s a good thing I don’t have allergies or asthma. And the bits of nudity, here in the club’s inner sanctum there’s a lot of adjusting going on that reveals a lot of skin.

I’m trying not to look and most of the others don’t care but I do notice there’s some girls checking each other and the rest of us out, Raven’s doing it too. Now it’s not a blatant guy checking a girl out it’s that sort of scoping you of from a distance, then a few angles and then it sort of starts with the flirty looks, then some shy sorta eye contact and smiles then it starts. Of course that’s not the way all of them go about it and there seems to be this almost telepathic girl thing or lesbian thing where that whole thing seems like it just takes a few glances. Some of them are just kind of out and open about it and just talk to a girl they like and some are kinda guy aggressive.

I’m soaking it all in really, there’s so much I’m picking up from these girls into girls. Is it sounding strange there’s a lot of girls into girls here? I guess, the place is kind of run by two women and I’m pretty sure they’re together. So I guess that makes this sort of what passes for the towns lesbian spot really. I mean I guess you could say LGBT spot but with the group I’m with I’m sorta only noticing the girls.

There’s a few introductions on our way out of the ladies room and to the bar where we get some drinks. I’m drinking water and they’ve got like over a dozen kinds including some in those fancy glass bottles. I get a look from the guy behind the bar when I say “Water please, Ice from the tap.” He might have said something but I mean really? But while I’m cheap, I’m not and since I’m buying I get Roxy her Redbull and Brooklyn her mixed drink, no booze but sort of these syrups like the old fashioned way they’d make pop.

I get to try hers and it’s called a Komodo dragon and it’s kiwi and litchi, lemon and wasabi and club soda it’s really…I don’t know something I thought Kimmie would drink but I couldn’t too spicy. I’m coughing and washing it down some with some more water when the girl Raven was dancing with comes up.

She’s good looking with that kinda butch look between the combat pants and the army tank but the tattoos and peircings really set her off. Tall for a girl about five nine and built, she looks strong and yet soft too. Nice eyes, kind eyes I think and a killer smile. She’s way more urban than I’m used to. But then again…I, well Jason stayed home for his own good.

She smiles and offers me her hand. “Hey.” it’s one of those sorta sultry and friendly heys. Just that one word and her look and the way she said it made me twitch in my panties.

I shake her hand and it’s more of a guy’s than mine but not I swear when she pulls her hand away her fingertips slide over mine. Big dark caramel eyes too…and she’s making serious eye contact.

“Uhm Hi…”

“So Raven said you’re new in town?”

“Yeah…I…Uhm.. I just had to get out of T.O.”

“I know what you mean, great city but sometimes…..y‘know?”

Nope, not a clue. I just stick my straw in my mouth and nod…drink some ice water cool down.

“So it’s Angel right?”

“Yeah, I mean yes it is.”

“I’m Jessy.”

“Oh, okay it’s nice to meet you.”

“Thanks, hey’d like to dance.”

“Uhm okay….”

We sort of head back out to the dance floor and before long we’re dancing along with the beat only with Jessy it’s really different. It’s this dancing with a girl and she’s dancing with me and there’s no leading or following stuff and she’s so trying to seduce me, hypnotize me with the way she moves.

There’s other girls there too dancing with us and we dance with them as well as each other but we both always come back to dancing with each other. I’m not really good enough to maneuver myself back into dancing with her, so it’s Jessy doing it.

I like the feeling. I like this sort of feeling that someone finds me exciting enough to be like that with me. And that kind of gets me more into it and then we’re dancing so close we’re sort of touching and I kind of reach into my brain and come out sorta of with this mixture of Axel Rose and touch yourself near porn style dancing and a little…well a lot of wild abandon. We move and shimmy and there’s this point Jessy’s behind me and her hands are on my hips as I’m rolling them and they come up my sides and just graze my breasts but move onto my arms it this…her breasts just graze my back. I picture goddesses dancing this way.

We are Ishtar and Aphrodite.

I’m not sure how long Jessy and I are at it but I’m sweat soaked and breathy and the music changes to something slow and Jessy steps up and wraps her arms around my neck and she smiles at me all up close ans slow dancy and I feel the excitement and this really strong OMG…something it’s like I’m so caught up in her smile, those eyes and flushed look, her breasts pressing into mine and all those teen hormones bouncing around with the endorphins and Jessy’s leaning into kiss me and…

“Can I cut in?”

Raven.

“Uhm…”

There’s this moment of looks between them. More of that lesbian telepathy stuff and Jessy backs away. “Sure.” then smiles at me in that flirty way. “Thanks for dancing with me Angel.” then she kisses me on my cheek really close to my lips and did she just take an inhale of me? The turns and kisses Raven on the cheek too just as close and that smoking smile too. “Later Rainbow…” and she moves off into the crowd and raven steps up and takes me into her touch and starts to slow dance with me.

“You okay?” She asks.

“Yeah….Jessy’s…”

“A force of nature?” she says smiling.

“That’s a good way of putting it. You two seem like you know each other.”

“We’ve partied together before.”

“You two?”

“No, I was with Summer then and I’m not a cheater, no matter how tempting.”

“Thanks for the rescue, I swear I was just…”

“Yeah, it’s Jessy. But considering what’d happen if you two did hook up.”

“Yeah…” God it was so good while it lasted and now it’s kind of just sinking in that when it comes to actually being with someone I’m just as alone as ever.

“Hey, why so sad?”

“Just some more of how serious and hard this is sinking in. I’ll be okay.”

“You sure?”

“I Have to be right?”

“Angel…”

“No, I’ll be okay. Can we just dance?”

“Sure.”

We dance through the slow song and the music slowly picks back up and just to actually get away from Raven and the ache in my chest I say yes to some of the guys who ask me to dance. She gives me this look, a mix of hurt and concern and I put on a smile. “Go, go and dance and have fun.”

Another look.

“Rayne….I’m…O.K.”

“Are you…”

“Go! I’m not the only one who needs to go and get stuff out of their system.”

She goes and I go back to dancing and try to have a good time. I actually put my mind to meeting people and talking while learning how to dance and even talk up the band. I do notice Raven talking to Brooklyn and Roxy for awhile and then she’s back to dancing with Jessy really closely and they leave to slip outside.

I’m so not sure how to feel about that.

I dance a bit more until Brooklyn shimmy’s up to me. “Hey, how you doing?” She says it kind of butch lez come on a bit Joey from friends.

I start dancing with her. “Shitty, I thought I was going to cut loose and just stop thinking and I do and it almost get’s me in a bad situation.”

“You need to cut loose and let go.”

“I can’t Brook, I do and…..”

She hugs me and smiles at me. “If you weren’t so damned girly I might really be into you Angel, too bad you don’t have a brother.”

“Brook…”

“No seriously, meeting Jason showed me some guys aren’t out to hurt me.”

“I’d never…”

“I know and ….and Jason’s the first boy I’ve ever danced with.”

“Really? Is he a good dancer?”

“Needs work, he’s kinda a spazz still.”

She’s got this smile there and it cheers me up too. I mean she talking to me as Jason but not. And it kind of made me feel pretty good again. We dance a bit more and the Roxy dances over after coming back from the DJ area and dancing like crazy as the tunes crank right up into this high speed dancing and we’re trying to keep up and then there’s this POP! And a whine.

The music stops and there’s some talking and murmurs and I giggle. “Holy crap Rox you broke the DJ.”

They say they’ll be a minute and the DJ’s trying to fix his stuff and the owners are talking to him and we get to the bar again and I get another drink and the girls too and Raven comes back with Jessy and there’s this glassy, flushed, look on both their faces and this glow there…

They, they…

Brook leans over on me. “It’s okay, it’s Jessy…She needed this…”

Needed this… “She needed this?”

“She needed to…” I interrupt. “She needed to see and to feel that she was still worth it, especially after Summer…I get it.”

“Angel…”

“Brook I’m okay.”

“No you’re not.”

“No, I’m not but I have to be. I’m never going to be an option for Rayne but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t mean that I don’t want her to feel better, to get something back either.”

“Ange…”

I hug her and I hug Roxy. “Just let it be, whatever it’s going to be.”

“Okay.” Roxy says. Brook just nods.

I get some more drinks and get Raven and Jessy some too. Raven’s a cranberry juice person and Jessy just gets a diet coke.

Raven looks at me after a bit and seems like she tries to say something and blushes seriously. I walk over and hug her. “We’re cool, though I’m not sure who I’m more jealous of you or her.”

“Angel…”

“No…we dish or whatever later, right now there’s something big going on.”

“What? What happened?”

“DJ blew something.”

“What?, Angel?, Angel!” she squeaks that out as I pull her from the bar to the pit and I give Roxy and Brooklyn come with looks. I walk all the way over to the DJ/stage area.

“Hi, what’s wrong with the music?”

The DJ looks at me, and the owners. This skinny blonde one in leather tightness who has this kinda dominatrix vibe going on. “Old building and this guy doesn’t seem to get…”

She was going to say something nasty but a hand on her arm from her partner this curvy brunette stops her. It’s one of those opposites attracts things gotta be because she seems really nice. “Just technical stuff that’s not a big deal, what can we do for you girls?”

“I’m Jem, and I’m the new lead vocal hired on with Starlight Butterfly.” I indicate the girls. “I was wondering if you want us to pinch hit.”

“You’ll play? How much?” That’s the skinny blonde.

“Nothing, just let us borrow some of those instruments over there and give us a good intro and we’ll play all night. Right girls?”

They all look surprised and while they seem to be arguing with the DJ guy Raven looks at me. “We haven’t practiced, or what the heck are we going to play?”

“Look we’ll use this to work out the bugs in playing live, plus good karma. We do this they might book us later on and we can tell them when we’re coming on out at the coffee house tomorrow night.”

“Okay, okay what are we going to play?”

“Soul Sister, Boots of Chinese Plastic, then watch me and follow me for the new stuff for the songs and the changes.”

The ladies turn to us. “Alright deal.”

It takes us the best part of ten minutes barely setting up and we’re no where near ready really or properly tunes and we’re doing all of it as the blonde is introducing us and we don’t have the Ukelei but Brook’s using a tambourine instead.

We don’t really wait before I start bouncing with the upbeat tune and sing shout out over the small crowd with.

“Hey… hey, hey….”
“Hey, hey…”
“Your lipstick stains…”
“The front lobe of my left side brains…”
“I knew I wouldn’t forget you, and so I went and let you..”
“Blow my mind..”

The song picks up and turns out that like my kind thing and the whole tune’s pretty well known and when we hit the chorus their dancing and singing too. We start playing and go from that to Boots of Chinese Plastic then I take the tambourine from brook and start hitting out this rhythm.

Classic good to dance to girly pop…and the girls chime right in. It’s and older tune but great to bop to and sing with.

“All the old paintings on the tombs.”
“They do the sand dance..don’t y’know”
“If they move too quick..”

“OH WHEY OH!!”………… The entire female population in the place sang that line out with me and the girls and I felt this rush flicker through me.

“They’re falling down like a domino..”

“And the bazaar men by the Nile..”
“They got they’re money on a bet.”
“Gold Crocodiles…”

“OH WHEY OH!”

“They snap your teeth, on.. Your cigarette.”
“Foreign types with their hookah pipes go…”

“AY OH WHEY OH…AY OH WHEY OH……..”

“Walk like an Egyptian….”

We play the rest of the song and “One way or another” by Blondie and we rock the place out hitting some of our regular play list and there’s one point where we’re singing “Love Shack.” by the B-52’s and Ravens close to the edge of the stage and she’s watching Jessy bounce and dance and shimmy and she’s smiling, happy like I’ve never see her yet.

She’s really beautiful like that.

We close with the place at eleven and I’m wore out and so are the other girls and Raven is looking at us and holding hands with Jessy. “Uhm, I’m not gonna make it back guys…” She really blushing and sort of in front of me and passes Brook the van keys. She shoots a look at me again and I roll my eyes and motion her away. She gives me one last look and a shy smile before Jessy hauls her off and they go laughing across the parking lot.

Sigh…