Jem…Chapter 167

*Before…

We slip into one of the florist places and we buy each other a flower.

We spend some money getting our pictures taken in one of those photo-booths together and use the privacy to smooch while we’re getting our pictures taken.

Rayne actually has me hold her coffee and our flowers as she retouches her lipstick right outside the booth and she carefully wipes hers off of me leaving no question of what we did for the lookey-lou’s that want to stare and frown.

And as much as I’m hiding from Adam and stuff I’m not hiding my relationship.

We lace our fingers together as we head to the theater together and get our tickets to see Scott Pilgrim versus the World.

*And Now…

It was pretty weird going to a movie on Monday night and we sort of ended up getting some pretty decent seats in the middle and upper side of things. It was a little odd with the bulk of the people there being the whole community college sort of crowd and having people stop by to talk to us during the previews with them recognizing us and all.

And that lasts actually until Rayne holds up our flowers and people actually clue in that we’re on a date.

It was actually kinda cute to see some of them get embarrassed about bugging us.

And the movie was okay.

I’m not a fan of Michael Cera, I never could get into Arrested Development I just kind of felt that the whole show was kinda creepy.

And him…as Scott Pilgrim…well just sort of nope for me too.

I kind of liked the tunes and some of the band and stage stuff but I actually got more out of Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey.

Rayne actually is sort of frowny too through parts of it not liking the girl that much.

“She’s so Summer to me.”

I nod. “I think I’m spoiled from all of the cool movies, all the really good rock movies, this isn’t great it’s.”

Rayne’s nodding. “Popular actor of the day stuff.”

We did stay but we kind of just really spent more time into each other and feeding each other popcorn.

Which was absolutely fine by me.

And getting to suck the popcorn butter stuff off of fingers in just like fun and kinda naughty seductive too.

Even though I kind of really think homemade is better with like actual real butter id way better.

Though it did lead to some tips of tongues playing on fingers things and that led to kissing and the kissing led to some more kissing and a whole really yay sort of reaction as Rayne’s doing the tongue swirling kissing me and my brain is all for that.

My body too and she gets me squirming.

And Rayne too.

And dammit the Alanis Morrisette part of that song… and dammit is Rayne didn’t softly, softly sing in my ear.

“An older version of me…is she perverted like me…does she go down on you in a theater…”

Oh frikking my.

I mean she like doesn’t and I don’t but at the same time it’s just so…and she’s just so.

That voice of hers has this velvet purr going on too that just sexily worms its way into my brain as she’s touching me, teasing parts of me that I’d never thought were teasable.

And just the thoughts of it.

All that stimulation and my brain is bouncing with me…me as much as I’m like kinda nowhere near that sexually confident or anything to do that kind of thing is really being the naughty girl as we were doing that.

And I really like the ways that Rayne makes me ache.

It’s like a whole new part of my brain is awake.

Part of me that never got this kind of attention or contact and it’s a part of me that’s really not Jase, never could be Jase.

We leave after the movie’s done and more so for the lights coming on and we don’t even stay to fix our lips up we just use the napkins we have and remove it all as we’re leaving and we’re holding hands the whole way fingers laced together all the way out to the vehicle and headed for home.

Okay we might have sped a little too and we might have went inside kissing pretty passionately and did the all the way up the stair thing with me sort of pressed to the wall and bumping into things until we got to our bedroom.

Clothes came off fast and I was feeling like my skin was on fire but in this good way where Rayne just really couldn’t touch me enough.

My tiny little budding breasts and nipples hurt.

And made me pop when she laid me down and cupped them and used her hands to push the flesh up even higher and took me into her mouth.

I cried out!

I wanted more!

And part of me wanted real breasts, I wanted ones that she could do so much more with and at the same time when Rayne rolled her tongue around my nipples all puffed out and harder than anything it was so much more than enough.

Well not enough.

Goddess, I… I never wanted Rayne inside on me, to use her thing and do things to me.

And she did….And I did starting with her huge gorgeous breasts as she was leaning over me taking me to places to feelings that made me cry out her name over and over and get higher and higher in pitch too.

I never ever dreamed that this would be me…that I’d be with someone but even in my fantasies of being with someone never in my fantasies was I like this…being Angel and Angel actually likes…is starting to really like sex and being made love to and even something stronger.

It definitely transcended to being f-worded.

And doing things with Rayne, to Rayne until my jaw hurt and I had a hand cramp even.

Goddess I’m blushing just thinking about it.

…………….Yeah thinking about it because it was last night.

And Rayne and I are snuggled together and it’s morning and I’m spent and sore in ways that well if I think too much about I’ll blush so hard that the heat will wake Rayne up.

Actually I can’t keep it out of my head.

I went way, way deep into the real me last night.

I pull my pillow to me and I hug it tight just because it feels good to hold something and squeeze it whole I’m still processing it all.

No I’m not having another freak out it’s just that this was that intense and that good and I think I’m still riding the endorphin rush from all of it.

I smile when I feel Rayne move and her roll to her side and feel her pressing herself against my back.

“Morning….” She actually purrs it pressing into my back, whispering into my ear.

“Morning.” I turn my head around to look at her and just sort of drink in how stunning she looks really even with her bed head.

We share a kiss and then another one and she nuzzles me. “You okay?”

I nuzzle-nod back. “Yeah, I am actually.”

She smiles when I say that and we end up kissing again.

We share a moment just looking into each other’s eyes and she says. “I love you.”

I give her a kiss. “I love you too.”

Rayne says still mesmerising me with her eyes. “I love that you tell me though.”

“Tell you what?”

“How you feel for good or bad, that you love me, that you have all these ideas that are for us and all of us.”

I’m blushing but it’s a really happy blush.

“Well we are in a relationship I’m pretty sure that’s how it works right?”

She smiles a bit bigger and kisses me some more. “Yeah exactly that, I love that all of that’s a given with you. I love that you follow through.”

Okay I’m really blushing now and I get where this is coming from too and I’m actually feeling pretty dammed good about myself right now. If I was a guy this’d be one of those puff my chest out moments but as it is this is making me really happy.

I mean who doesn’t like to actually have your spouse or partner or significant actually tell you that you’re doing things right?

And I know it’s not doing things perfectly because there’s no such thing as perfect but just actually getting things right.

It feels really good.

And with a girl like Rayne looking at you…Me that way and kissing me after a night where we were seriously intimate.

It’s a whole new level of cool.

And speaking of cool the air coming in through the window is actually cool.

And I can smell that sort of lake water vegetation steam mixing with that sort of almost metallic smell from the rail yards.

Our phone buzz with our wake up alarms and I look at her and we kiss again it’s a little longer this time as I’m slipping out of bed and she’s kiss-coming-with me and we break the kiss and smile just looking at each other.

Rayne gives me another kiss and a nuzzle. “I should start getting ready for work.”

I nod. “Can I hop in first; I really need to get cleaned up?”

She grins. “Yeah girlhood and sex is messy.”

I blush really red.

I mean yeah we had sex and everything but there’s still after it all and the getting cleaned up and that…that kind of stuff no one really prepares you for.

Heck actually from my side of things I’m totally winging it because no one has ever even come close to telling me all the real stuff when it comes to sex as a pre-op trans girl.

She slips past me. “I’m going to go and get some coffee going and things while you’re getting cleaned up.”

We kiss again and we head out with me grabbing fresh clothes to get changed into and Rayne pulls off all the bed sheets and she checks our mattress which has me blushing as I leave.

No one ever tells you about these sorts of things at all.

It’s actually still kind of awesome though.

Because it’s real.

I mean fairy tales are great and all but they’re stories.

Princess Aurora in Sleeping Beauty never had sex laundry in it.

We’re quiet too because it’s still pretty early and the girls still have a little bit of sleep time left before they have to get up and get ready for school and I take a shower and get cleaned up and do a few of my upkeep things too and then head downstairs after I’m all changed and I just combed my hair and I’m letting it air dry instead of running the hair dryer and waking the girls up.

Rayne has our things in the washer and she says that she let it fill then turned it off so they can soak while the girls are getting ready and not use all of the hot water.

She passes me my coffee and we sip it together for a few minutes just leaning on each other as we lean on the kitchen counter and I get mine about half done when I head to the fridge and I start taking things out and I defrost some sausage rounds and English muffins in the microwave and then toss the sausages into a frying pan and let them cook while I start making scrambled eggs.

I make good scrambled eggs actually and there’s a secret to it, well there’s several actually and I got like half of them from the internet and the rest from the food network online.

First is to separate the eggs and whip the egg whites you want them frothy and full of air and next you take the yolks and add just a little bit of white sugar to them like one teaspoon max and a good pinch of salt and then a little bit like a teaspoon of white flour and like a quarter teaspoon of baking powder.’

Sound really odd?

Well see it’s actually chemistry.

The flour is there but so diluted you don’t ever taste that small of an amount. But it adds body and stability to the eggs as they cook binding the cells of the egg together in an enhanced way. The salt and sugar adds dynamic umami to the eggs and enhances the fats of the yolk and just that tiny little bit of baking powder adds even more loft when heat is applied and you still don’t taste them.

I fold the beaten yolks into the whites carefully and I heat one of the non-stick skillets adding just a little veg oil and a bit of butter and before the butter solids begin to turn and yet it’s all melted is when I adds the eggs.

And then turn the heat down to simmer.

And I leave them for a count of six, then I stir them gently and fold them over from bottom to top and another six count and I take them off the heat and cover them.

The heat of the pan finishes them to cook without browning them and the combination of the baking powder and the beaten whites cooking gives them this really fluffy texture that’s reinforced by the flour so they don’t fall.

I dig out the jams and stuff and start toasting English muffins and Rayne’s setting out fresh made frozen OJ and plates and glasses and the milk too and I take two potatoes once the sausage rounds are done and crank that pan’s heat and grate the potatoes directly into the hot pan skins and all adding just some salt and pepper and letting the sausage grease season and be the oil for these pan hash browns.

I hear feet.

Rayne’s making salad for everyone’s lunches from stuff in the fridge and she’s adding in some of those flavored tinned tuna’s to them and she adds in some Ritz crackers and Triscuits to some small baggies and grabs some of the mini yogurts that I bought and an apple.

Okay we’re mommying them but at the same time it’s kinda what we should do. I mean I usually am the one doing this but today we’re doing this as a team and we’re really in synch.

Rayne even loosens the hash brown cake in the pan and then she flips it all in one impressive go. It’s actually perfect and a nice fried brown and that fried potato and sausage smell fills the air here and Brooklyn’s down first and she comes in dressed in her uniform and she goes straight for the coffee and she is drinking it in fast repeated sips and heads from the kitchen to the living room and I hear the crackle of the amps and the mic.

Carmen and Molly are still so not going to be used to this.

I can’t help but to grin and start moving and dancing but sort of that metal head kind of head bobbing thing as Brooklyn’s playing and she’s singing. *Whole Lotta Love* By Led Zeppelin.

There’s a lot of school references to in that song and I take a minute or two to watch Brook just go as she’s cranking it out on her guitar and she’s singing with this great rocker chick intensity to her voice and her red hair and the fact that she’s doing all of this in her private school uniform makes it really cool.

And we’re a band, we’re rocker girls.

Sometimes you just literally wake up and want to play, need to play.

Brook kind of leaves of the trippy stuff like the screams and stuff instead just concentrating on just wailing out on her guitar and the girls all start coming down with Kimmie all dressed and she makes it to her drums for the second half of the song and plays it all out with Brook and Molly’s just sort of looking and blinking still sleepy but she has this sort of sleepy and dreamy smile on her face as she’s watching and she’s even moving a little bit with the tunes.

Carmen is in full grumble mode passing us all and taking coffee and is just in her night shirt or rather one of Molly’s shirts and her underwear and she literally has a cigarette in her mouth and she walks outside with a cup of black coffee and lights up outside.

She’s looking both tired and still sort of rocky and shaky this morning too as all the stuff she was taking as part of Adam’s little crowd is still making its way out of her system.

I sort of keep an eye on her to make sure she’s not going to fall flat or anything and she’s out there for few and she comes in shivering and rubbing her arms and heading for more coffee.

“Hungry?”

She looks at the food that’s done.

And then down at herself.

“Yeah actually.” And she makes another coffee and passed one to Molly who takes it reverently.

Then the rest show up and it’s that group breakfast chaos thing with the talking and passing of things and all of us eating and laughing even as we talk about the gig tonight and about the Halloween show at The Cat and what would be cool to play and what to cover and to like get some advanced notice for things and paying for the songs we’re going to cover.

And Rayne and I getting teased by Kimmie to start about all the hot and heavy action we were going through last night which has me blushing like crazy and Rayne too but we’re both grinning and we’re both really happy too.

But even with that there’s band stuff like Fall Fair and the website stuff too.

Which has my manager brain kicking in with things that I need to do for this and how I should go about doing it.

Especially dealing with Adam as Brooklyn actually brings up us copywriting “Pointer’s Rock.” before Adam hijacks it.

And then it’s over pretty fast and the girls are all snagging lunches and Carmen takes hers and goes to get dressed and she catches a ride to our old school with Rayne.

Who I walk to the vehicle and we spend a few minutes kissing and messing up her lipstick.

I watch them all pull out with a sigh and take my coffee and even as chilly as it is I take the time to sit of the front step and have that moment of chill as I just take the morning all in.

Molly comes out and she sits beside me with another coffee.

“You and Rayne are really good together.” She says looking at me.

I look at her. “That’s pretty cool since you’ve held a torch for her for a while.”

Molly shrugs and smiles. “I had a serious crush, I mean Rayne was so much my kind of girl and she was like so dark and stuff too.”

“She’s still dark.”

Molly nods. “Dark but just not like tortured anymore.”

I nod. “Summer was a really bad girlfriend.”

Molly makes a rude noise with her tongue. “Summer was a bitch.”

I nod.

I mean I know it and all but I wasn’t going to go there first.

“Still kinda is but she’s acting a little like a person with this new girl.”

Molly makes the sound again. “Doppelgangers are sneaky; she’s just doing what comes natural to her species.”

I snerk a little and I shouldn’t because I really don’t want to be one of those kinds of girls but at the same time….it might be a small hatchet but I still have an axe to grind over all the harm she’s done.

She looks at me and finishes her coffee. “No seriously you and Rayne are really good together; hell this place is really good for all of us.”

I take her hand and let her help me up and I finish my coffee. “Rayne’s important to me, and she loves you girls so it’s not just me helping out and stuff but there’s a lot of me wanting to make her happy.”

Molly nods. “Still you go above and beyond Angel. There’s a lot of Summer’s out there and a lot of people that wouldn’t do half the things that you do.”

We head inside and I’m sort of remembering what Rayne said this morning.

“I guess I’m not most people. It’s sort of my thing…I mean I’m all for things being new and cool and things changing and all of that but there’s stuff I don’t like. Stuff I see and want to not do or fix.”

Molly nods and we go to the kitchen and start cleaning up.

“I never had a plan for anything past school and hopefully making some money, enough money to scrape by until something good happened. I wasn’t expecting this or you or Carmen.”

I start washing the dishes.

“These days’ things are like way too replaceable. And it’s gone from stuff to like people. I mean it used to be that when something was broken folks used to look at it and listen to things and see if they could fix them, like actually put in the work. Now people literally just replace other people in their lives like out of date or broken phones. I think that’s why I get Rayne.

She’s so used to this being a thing with her life as a lesbian with people and with her family and how they treated her and then Summer. And she’s just sick inside of like all of the bad stuff that seems to go on because of her so she just sucks it up…she takes it and she keeps quiet about how she hurts or needs things because she thinks that anything she’s wanted or needed was a nuisance and if you’re like that then people won’t like you.”

Molly’s stopped drying the plate she was holding and she’s holding it and the dishtowel really tightly and she’d nodding and she has tears in her eyes.

I smile at her and grab a spare dishtowel off the handle of the fridge door and wipe her eyes for her.

“The thing is you, Rayne, real people are just that real and we all have hopes and dreams and needs. And I want to make them happen, I want to make her dreams real for her even if she’s too scared to tell me what they are.”

Molly sucks air in shakily and she looks at me. “Good Goddess Angel I swear if I wasn’t head over heels in love with Carmen I’d be so crushing on you right now….I mean you actually like get it.”

I nod. “I wasn’t always this cool I had my own times when hoping was actually painful.”

Molly dries the plate and nods. “Still though I’ve never actually had someone actually say that they get that people hurt in the exact way that I’ve felt most of my life. Like you just have to take it and kinda be okay because people just really don’t want to know.”

We finish the dishes. “Like I said I’ve been there and I’d rather live on the right side of empathy than just sort of emotionally hunch in and just take care of me.”

She hangs the towel up and smiles. “Yeah you’re likely one of the most tuned in people I’ve ever met.”

I head for the basement to finish the laundry. “People are like songs, they’re like music really and sometimes the best way to learn about a song or a piece of music is like just to listen.”

She’s smiling at me. “I’m going to make more go juice you want some?”

“Sure I’m going to wash the bedding and do the rest of the laundry but I think I’ll need another mug and your help.”

“My help?”

I grin at her. “I think it’s past time for Starlight Music and Entertainment to copyright Pointer’s Rock.”

Okay it’s way past cool and beautiful the smile that’s on her face because it’s so huge and glowing.

“Actually Angel I’ve already gone and done that for us.”

I can’t help but to mirror her smile. “Okay that’s awesome and maybe it’s time for me to be the one that would be so crushing on you if Rayne and I weren’t together and madly in love.”

Watching her go from beaming to shock to a voosh speed super blush was pretty awesome too.

I actually am that stoked I bounce down the stairs to do the laundry.