Jem…Chapter 50! Part 1

Chapter 50

I take several steps back and let Rayne come in and she’s nervous in that bite her lower lip don’t know what to do with your hands way. Oh I’m so getting that right about now. She comes in and I take stock of things I’m just wearing a nightshirt too and my panties and I usually only wear the panties to bed. I generally don’t need anything well to protect my girls since they’re on the dresser.

“Uhm maybe I should get into a bra? If that’d help?”

“No, just be you…I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable in your own bed.”

“Okay…I usually don’t wear the shirt to bed.”

“Oh….” She’s biting her lip and she’s looking at me. “Take it off.”

“What…?”

“Take off your shirt.”

“Oh…you sure?”

“Yes.” She said it kind of decisively and when she does she reaches and pulls her off over her head.

My breath catches in my throat and she wasn’t wearing her bra. And yes I’ve seen them before but seeing them before hasn’t done a thing to make them or her any less beautiful. The cute and sexy thing is she’s not crossing her arms in front of her or hiding them in any way but she’s holding it in front of her waist and the “Muffin top” she has going on.

That’s by the way the last time I’ll use that term it’s to me kind of derogatory and not really respectful. And she’s trying to hide it shyly. I take off my shirt shyly and she’s staring at me.

I’m feeling just as shy, maybe more because I really have nothing…I’m not even toned really or even built not that, that’d be what she was into but there’s just this very well aware feeling of what I’m lacking.

Rayne’s sort of got her head tilted at me. “Angel?”

“Uhm…yeah?”

“Why are you covering yourself?” I sort of was, am…got I feel so naked, not nude there’s a difference naked in more…personal, scary even maybe.

“I dunno….self conscious.”

“Self conscious?”

I nod but try and give her a smile while turning red at the same time and she’s looking at me funny again and I stop and brush some of my hair out of my face.

“You shouldn’t be self conscious Angel you’re beautiful…”

“Me…? But I’m…” I blush again but gesture at myself. At me with my shirt off and really aside from the panties I’m just a boy, just Jason…with pink hair.

“Yes you are all of that and I told you I’ve just been seeing it more and more not just a boy or a guy but…Angel and I’ve been just feeling it more and more. I think you’re the most beautiful girl that I’ve ever met.”

“But…I’m not…”

She steps over and leans into me kissing me and holds my face just so…tenderly.

“I know…I know and I’m still saying it.”

“But…”

She holds my head a little firmer and looks me right in the eyes. “Jason….”

Gulp… “Rayne…”

“I’m still saying it….I know the reality but I look into your eyes and right now I’m not seeing gender…I’m seeing a soul and that soul is someone I’m really head over heals for.”

“Really? This…me…it doesn’t matter?”

“It’s something we’ll get through. It’s something we’ll both learn to be good with together; sometimes it’s just not about all the other stuff just what’s inside. This…this through…it’s…it’s just another thing in life.”

I bite my bottom lip a little but lower my arms and not try to shield myself…I know it’s weird me trying to hide what I don’t have as usually it’s the other way around. I’m so nervous right now she called me Jason and she’s half naked in front of me and she’s so beautiful really.

And she was way into being worried about what I was feeling than her own stuff and that made her even more beautiful.

Those eyes of hers and her long black hair loose and cascading around her face and framing it messily and even coming down in this erotic gentle fall over her breasts. God without all the dark make up and just her lashes to frame them her eyes look bigger and her piercings even sort of look exotic and innocent instead of gothy and punk.

She takes my hands in hers and she’s looking at me a moment all over and she’s smiling at me when she comes back to my face. It’s not her half smile but its maybe a bit of that girl before summer smile and she steps in up to me and her breasts are touching me and her nipples are stiff little points and she kisses me.

She’s still kissing me and it’s sort of like that sexy kissing and stuff but there’s more to it that that.

Its soul touching…it’s a true loves kiss.

You can tell, I know you can tell between being sex kissed and getting that true love kiss.

Kisses are like music.

You can program something to play something in a computer, you can have someone just pluck at chords or hit keys but when someone is really playing you can feel the difference like there’s life in music.

There’s love in this kiss.

Rayne runs her thumbs over my hands as she’s holding them and kisses me again and again like only stopping to come up for air…

Jason…huh…I’m nervous but I take a step and I start to slow dance with her in the morning light filtering in through my window. I’ve never danced and led since I was little and Mom tried to show me after I watched her and Dad do it.

We do that for awhile before she takes my still by the hands and she takes me to my bed. “It’s late…Jase…c’mon let’s go to bed…”

“Okay…what side do you want?”

She smiles like me asking was something special/good? “Can I have the wall side?”

“Uhm sure….I’ll warn you thought I might be all knees and elbows or something I’ve never slept with anyone before…………..”

I’m stopped as she slinks out of her panties and she turns red and sort of does that kind of try to hide herself too now like she just remembered that she was self conscious.

“My god you’re beautiful…”

“A…….Jason…..no…not really….”

“Yeah, yeah you are Rayne…”

“I’m fat….”

“No you’re real…”

“You’re skinny…”

“I’m a guy…and I’ve never really been able to keep weight on since the cancer, I lost a lot of weight then and it took forever to get that back…I’m a special case…”

She looks at me. “Jase…do you really mean it?”

I walk to her and I hug her and hold her tight, not Angel tight but me tight the way that I’ve seen Dad hold someone tight.

“Rayne you are a beautiful, weight’s a thing, just like the other thing…it has absolutely no bearing on who you are except that some people have used it to hurt you and to pull you down…but they’re wrong Rayne. They are dead wrong and they can’t see the woman that I’m falling in love with.”

“You’re falling in love with me?”

“God Rayne of course I am…?”

“Jason you?”

“All of me…”

“Really?”

“Rayne you treat me better than anyone ever has and you’ve taken me in and kept me safe and connected me to parts of me that I never knew that were even there…or were that sacred to me.”

“But, But that was just decent things to do…you needed help.”

“It was a brave and it was a beautiful thing to do and there is so much more about you to love…and I do.”

“I…”

I reach out to her and smile and move some hair out of her face. “Here…sit…” I guide her to sitting. “Close your eyes…”

“Jase…”

“Please…I want to show you just…please let me just show you?”

She closes her eyes and she bites her lip and she just nods.

There’s just something in me that’s…I quietly slip my bra on and the inserts in…adjust myself…Yeah I think I might be making a choice here somewhere in my heart.

I start by using my fingers and my fingernails and I brush back her hair until its back into its usual place.

I stop at her ears and I just touch with my fingertips her ears following the curves, just the softest of caresses…run my pads a little over the piercings and leaning in close enough to smell her hair and to touch where my fingers had been with the tip of my nose like a nuzzle…kissing her just behind each ear just as light as I can make them.

I use my lips to gently follow her jaw line just whisperingly across the skin and over her lips…I kiss her…slowly and gently then pull away only to touch her with my fingers again…up to her cheeks and letting them just go over each cheekbone…I’m just…I’m in awe of the raw beauty she has and I let that show though my hands and my fingers as it’s moving me in ways all it’s own.

It’s not I want to touch her and show her.

I have to touch her and show her.

Up from her cheeks I move onto her eyes and follow their shape and slide over her eyebrows and as gentle as can be over her eyelids…I can’t help but to lean in and kiss her there softly and as sweetly as possible on that delicate skin then slide my face down and the soft nuzzle of rubbing noses as the lead into the next kiss on her lips and I breathily exhale a gasp….no words but just a gasp of how good this is.

I move my lips to the other side of her face and go back up that jaw line up it meats to her neck and I kiss, smell, taste and feather draw my lips down her neck to her shoulders with my hands leading the way and she shivers and she shakes a little bit and there’s tears leaking out.

I lift my head from that sexy little cleft at her collar bone and softly ask. “Do you feel it? I think you’re so beautiful Rayne…can you feel that?”

There’s a sniffly whine and she nods her head and I press my lips back to her skin and smile…say a soft. “Good.”

Over to the edge of her shoulder and then down her chest a bit but above her breasts and I move back across until I get to her throat and I kiss her there from where it starts going slowly from her breast bone to even just under her chin. I hold her head then with both hands and I kiss her…even nibble bite her throat some…she shivers and get’s gaspy over it….

A gaspy sniffled whine of. “Fff…fuck…”

So has to be a gothy thing.

I move back down to her other side , the other shoulder and then I sink to my knees but standing on my knees rather than getting down deeper…but…right at breast level and I cup them in both hands and lean forward a little bit and take their weight off of her and cradle them.

The rest is my nose, my lips…and I explore them…revere them and show attention where I think they should…out tow the sides of her breasts, follow the crease, caress it with my nose, smell her scent…trace those spots with my lips….the undersides of her breasts and yes I pay a lot of attention to her nipples but I save then real touching and rubbing them and softly feeling and fondling them but my lips trace over her chest until I can feel it…the faster and pulsing thumping of her heart.

That’s where my mouth stays as my hands are busy…I kiss the flesh over her hearts over and over and taste it and love bite it and kiss it some more and even after that I press my forehead to her chest but with my lips over her heart I keep saying over and over to it and to her.

“I Love You.”
“I Love You.”
“I Love You.”
“I Love You.”
“I Love You.”

Rayne’s voice cracks in a shuddering gasp… her hands on my head and pushing me into her chest and fingers through my hair.

“J…Jason…!”

I know this shiver and shake…I know I …I know I made her cum…but it’s more…it’s so much more than the sex and the pleasure…it’s not even really about me.

But there’s part of me that’s really happy that’s what she called out…happy enough for tears…Okay I lied maybe there is something about this that’s still about me.

I smile into her skin as she holds me there still shaking and I say into her flesh…her heart. “Yeah…beautiful…”

She’s still shaking a bit more and I hear her saying. “Ow Jason…ow…my heart…!” in this happy crying, whiney voice…like she’s scared it’s a dream…scared it’s not real.

She releases her grip enough to let me slide down and I don’t head there…not even close but to her sides, her ribs and her waist and even her sexy little something extra…I touch, and tickle and kiss the spots that make her squirm and giggle. I smell and taste and trace my way over each curve with my lips….especially her cute little something extra…I’m not calling it the pastry thing…it’s not…it’s part of my Rayne, it’s sexy and just as sweet and beautiful as the rest of her…it’s real and it’s also close to her belly button.

She has an innie and it’s sexy as hell to use that…to trace around that with my thumbs while doing other things and then my fingernails as I go in circles around it finally going for nuzzling around it with my nose, then light kisses then nibbley little love bites.

By the time I get to her sex she’s panting again…whining… and there’s still a sniffle but there’s nerves in the voice this time. “Jace…?”

“Yes beautiful…?”

(Sniffle.) “Can…can I have Angel back….” She sounds like it was hard and scary to ask.

I stop and I reach into my dresser and grab my lipstick and I’m starting to put it on and I say. “Rayne…look at me.”

She opens her eyes and she stares at me and I’m trying my best to give her thins deep in her eyes look combined with that on my knees legs crossed behind me at my ankles sexy putting on her lipstick look…

“Angel…..”

“I never left Rayne……………I sit up tall on my knees again and passionately kiss her and she’s still shocked and her eyes are really big and tearing over…. “and I never will.”

“Angel…”

“Rayne…tell me what to do…tell me what you need…”

“I need you…” (Glomp-sniffle-whine.)… “You…just come up here and hold me…please.”

I kiss her again deeply and start getting up as I’m kissing her and she’s scooting back into my bed and I break the kiss… “As you wish.”